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1995 11

From: iddavis_vms.cis.pitt.edu (iddavis_vms.cis.pitt.edu)
Subject: Re: New group - rec.humor.oracularities.suicide.didnt.make.it
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1995/11/20

phil_mundil.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Philip HOENIG) writes:
> Maybe there should also be a group rec.humor.oracularities.taken.over.pathetic.excuse.for.a.life

Hey! Leave the Priesthood out of this!

From: Tom Harrington (tph_rmii.com)
Subject: Re: Wow! Such a busy fellow...
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1995/11/29

pkrawczy_uiuc.edu wrote:
: Someone showed me a copy of the LAN Times (11-20) today, and I noticed this as the headline of the front page article -- "Oracle Works to Widen Web"
: When did he start on THIS massive project?

Maybe he'll finally cheer up, then. One of the sysadmins at work recently sent out a message stating "Oracle is down until further notice". I wondered what the Oracle could possibly be depressed about, but I decided not to ask him (in case it was answering questions that had him down).

From: Richard Wilson (Richard_molerat.demon.co.uk)
Subject: Re: Special to Star Wars Fans
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1995/11/28

adm4_po.cwru.edu "Aaron Mandelbaum" writes:
> stefraffel_aol.com (StefRaffel) writes:
> [snip]
> >} You owe the Oracle (incarnated as g. t. <na53711_anon.penet.fi>) a beautiful princess-in-distress who isn't his long-vanished sister.
> One wonders at the state of mind which leads someone to mention that they were incarnated as the oracle... and then leave an anonymous address.

Seems perfectly logical to me: he's preserving the the mystique of the Oracle's anonymity at the same time as providing a contact point, should the supplicant have a beautiful princess-in-distress to spare by way of payment. I'd do the same myself.

Richard Wilson

... whose wife wouldn't let him keep a beautiful princess-in-distress, even if fairly earned.

From: Jeff Lee (shipbrk_gate.net)
Subject: Re: What about those two spaces?
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1995/11/27

Noli Me Tangere <IO20444_MAINE.MAINE.EDU> wrote:

> Why two? Why not one?
> I'm talking about:

> 999
> 5 5 5 4 2  2 1 3 5 4
>          ^^

> those spaces. Is there some deep inner meaning?

David Letterman follows the Oracularities, but lacks the time to actually send in an e-mail message to vote. So, each time he does a show after the digest comes out, he writes the scores on his upper front teeth in a special ink that can only be seen if you put the right filter on your television screen.

Or something like that.

From: Stig Hemmer (stig_pvv.unit.no)
In each digest there is a secret oracularity. It is printed with invisble pixels in the middle of the digest, between ordinary oracularities 5 and 6.

When voting you should also use invisible pixels for voting on this oracularity, like this:

>...4<space>2<space><invisible vote><space>2<space>1... which becomes:
>...4 2  2 1...

When viewed without a decoder.

From: Tom Harrington (tph_rmii.com)
Subject: Re: Oracularities Digest Disappearance. Still.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1995/11/27

In article <4991ak$kqp_crusher.ici.net>, bakesph_ici.net (Steve Baker) wrote:
: Its been slim pickings at rec.humor.oracle for the last few weeks anyway. You can get oracularities at the following address. http://www.pcnet.com/users/stenor/oracle/latest.html The home page will also let you access the archives. I think this page is only one level deep.

Only one level deep? I know *I* try to make my responses as profound, erudite, moving, and just generally deep as possible. But it doesn't always work. When you're digging really deep, it's hard to know when you've started shoveling bullshit.

From: Tom Harrington (tph_rmii.com)
Subject: Re: Lamers... sheesh.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1995/11/14

pscheidt_ix.netcom.com (Thomas Pscheidt ) wrote:
: Hint: "Oracle" is "Benpyr". <in ROT13>

That would explain why the Oracle is known, to close friends anyway, as "Ben". And here I was thinking that it was a lame Star Wars reference!

From: Richard Wilson (Richard_molerat.demon.co.uk)
Subject: Re: Lisa
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1995/11/05

agould_gpu5.srv.ualberta.ca "A Gould" writes:
> [snippette]
> (in real terms, when I answer submissions as the Oracle, is Lisa fair game to use, or do I have to find my own galpal?)

In my experience, Lisa is a broadminded girl who is always willing to consider being used in any way you can think of. Be warned, however, some uses you might think of may put you in line for a severe ZOTting from the not-quite-so-broadminded Oracle.

From: Richard Wilson (Richard_molerat.demon.co.uk)
Subject: Re: Lisa
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1995/11/06

agould_gpu5.srv.ualberta.ca "A Gould" writes:
> Tom Harrington (tph_rmii.com) wrote:
> : Ask the Oracle if you can get a date with Lisa, but don't get your hopes up. You'll probably have to find your own significant other, since Orrie isn't known for "sharing". But you can ask him about her all you want, and she may even answer sometimes.
> Nononono... if trying to pick up the date of the star quarterback, who resembled a small Sherman Tank is a bad idea, hitting on the consort of the omniscient Oracle is like trying to make a francium soda, commonly known as "a REALLY stupid idea".

I can't agree. There's an answer in digest #750 (I can't remember the item number) <750-08> where the Oracle tries to help a supplicant asking how to comport himself on his date with Lisa that evening. Not a ZOT in sight. There have been others too, even ones I haven't written.

The impression I've formed of the Divine Adoratrice (as Zadoc insists on calling her; I more usually think of her as the role model for Marisa Tomei in "My Cousin Vinnie") is that she likes a bit (well, a lot) of variety and Orrie isn't the kind of insecure, neurotic, patriarchal psycho that objects to his SO having a bit (well, a lot) of fun on the side. But then, that's just the opinion of one small pile of smouldering ashes...

From: E is Me (eisme_aol.com)
Subject: Re: Oracular help needed!
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1995/11/03

tph_... (Tom Harrington) writes:
>: I guess I owe Ian a small miniaturized homo-replica (Will a blow-up dolly do?), and I also owe Avis a special *zot************
>: D***! My * key is s*uck! It m*st be con**gious!
>W*ll, If i* b*co**s * pr**l*m, yo* c*n a*w*y* w*** a***n* ** by ***ng yo** *** on th* *****s un**l * b*g ****h*le ***s a*d *he f*****g **s y*u* *********! T**n e***y***ng s**** **** *********!
>H**e **** h**ps,

Gosh Tom, I hate when when tho*se *tars *t Showi*g *p. E**id*n*y I C**gh*T *he g**d z*t *irus. Rel*ad**g McA**ee N*W*

{Ahhhhhhh, much better!}


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