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1996 01

From: Antti J. Roppola (ajr_henric.nric.gov.au)
Subject: Re: Who picks the oracularities.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1996/01/12

tails_winternet.com (John Niemi) wrote:
>Who (Or what?) chooses the oracularities for the digest?

Woodchucks.

That's why Orrie doesn't like them.

:-P

Of course there are rumours of priests who vet them.


From: Tom Harrington (tph_...)
Subject: Re: The Usenet Oracle is pondering your question.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1996/01/14

doli_troi.cc.rochester.edu (David Oliver) wrote:
: First there was email, then there was talk, then voice communication, now Corleone Systems introduces the latest development in Internet communications...H.I.T. - Homicidal Internet Transfer. Now you can ice your enemy from the comfort of your computer desk. Whether someone is being a nuisance on a mailing list or trying to move in on your territory you can effortlessly and without trace kill anyone with an email address.

But.... there'll be nobody left on Usenet! Just wait 'till people start writing scripts to filter flames automatically through HIT...

: -Bounced email bug fixed

*whew*. Those things can be nasty.


From: Richard Wilson (Richard_molerat.demon.co.uk)
Subject: Re: The Usenet Oracle is pondering your question.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1996/01/15

jcl5_acpub.duke.edu "James C. H. Lee" writes:
> The easiest solution would be to write a little handy script program to update the Oracle software so it can "create" questions when its queue is empty by forming sentences using common "generic" words (e.g. pronouns, conjunctions) and randomly combining them following general rules of English grammar to form simple questions. Voila! Problem solved! I'm sure it would be a piece of cake for y'all software programmers.

Last month, Zadoc the Priest came up with a similar (sadly, undigested) solution to the problem. What he had failed to take into consideration was that, if an automatically generated question aroused the Oracle's ire, the resulting ZOT would strike at the very heart of the dynamos, generators and pocket cyclotrons that underpin the smooth working of the Oracular service. The resulting devastation would wipe out the university campus, several square miles of surrounding countryside, and most likely the Oracle himself (irresistible force and immovable object sort of scenario).

Fortunately, a solution was found just in time, whereby mail headers of randomly generated questions were swapped with those of real ones coming in from the outside. This means, of course, that every once in a while innocent supplicants asking serious questions are in for a totally undeserved ZOTting, but I trust they will appreciate, as they shrivel to ashes, that this is a small price to pay when you consider the alternatives.



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