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1999 05

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: rhod stats
From: m.pack.NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk (Malcolm Pcak)
Date: Wed, 12 May 1999 05:58:59 +0100

Also Sprach Kimberly Chapman:
> tradeshows or any of those all-expenses paid fancy trips they send me on including staying at five star hotels and lots of other good stuff where I end up wearing a name tag that identifies me as PRESS or MEDIA and lets me get into all kinds of cool places and usually for free when others have to pay. Then yeah, I wear my name on my shirt.

I saw Kimberly at a trade show. She had a badge on her lapel saying "Press". So I did. The cast comes off next week.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: rhod stats
Date: 1999/05/14
Author: Ian Davis <davis.licre.ludwig.edu.au>

Kimberly Chapman wrote:
> Malcolm Pcak wrote in message
> >I saw Kimberly at a trade show. She had a badge on her lapel saying "Press". So I did. The cast comes off next week.
> Which is precisely why I either pin them up on my _shoulder_ or wear them on a string around my neck so it hangs lower than my breasts.

mmph. fmm. gnnng. Oh, it hurts. So many potential lines, so little health insurance.

Ian.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: 1090-09 & Baz Luhrmann
From: Ian Davis <davis.licre.ludwig.edu.au>
Date: Thu, 13 May 1999 06:54:25 +1000

Paul wrote:
> "Daniel Parker" <dmparker.usa.net> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
> >Not now John, we've gotta get on with this...
> >Come at the end of the shift we'll go and get pissed...
> >But not now John, I've gotta get on with this...
> Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream...

One of my favorite bands, turned up Real Loud to my wife's chagrin just last night as I typed one of her assignments. Who can turn away from such lyrics as:

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter
Never seem to find the time
And plans that either come to nought or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is come, the song is over
Thought I'd something more to say.

Or my personal favorite, and also of my >70y.o. mother and young daughters, showing its universal appeal:

Oh oh oh oh ooh oh oh oh oooooh owoh wawohwoh woh, wahohp woh oh oh oh oh woh woh wo'oh woooh woh, wo woh woh woooooh....wo'o..woh...wo'o oh oh oh oh

[etc]

I really need to get a better sound system for my car. My ears just don't bleed like they used to.

Ian.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: THREAD REVIVAL Was Re: Nils is revolting
From: Ian Davis <davis.licre.ludwig.edu.au>
Date: Thu, 13 May 1999 07:14:34 +1000

Al Sharka wrote:
> My bbSff's name really *is* Eric. He's not as fierce as Paul's brSff was though, because he's quite blue.
> His buddy Ian the Plec looks fierce, but Ian lives mostly on the bottom, scavenging, and hiding behind a rock.

I'm honored. Thank you, from the heart of my bottom.

Ian.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: NEWBIE'S BACK! (GET OUT FORKS!)
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-dejanews.com>
Date: Sun, 16 May 1999 08:21:30 -0500

Screwtape wrote:
> DMP schrieb:
> >Yes, I didn't count my ear piercings (which have all grown closed years ago). but all piercings have names, either what they go through (tongue/labia)
> That's a pretty damn long piercing.

It depends on what you are doing at the time.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hey! Everyone!
From: "Kimberly Chapman" <kacee.outer-net.com>
Date: Sun, 16 May 1999 20:50:27 GMT

tim wren wrote in message <7hlrla$6lu$1.news5.svr.pol.co.uk>
>Lars Clausen wrote ...
>>political stuff decimated<
>> -Lars "And. Don't. Use. Points. Between. Every. Word." Clausen
>Don't those Merkins use periods instead of points?

That's gonna leave stains.

-- Kimberly "will Prince Charles clean them up?" Chapman


From: grid4016.my-dejanews.com
Subject: Re: rhod stats down?
Date: 15 May 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d

"Kimberly Chapman" <kacee.outer-net.com> wrote:
> I haven't seen the page load in a couple of days. Just wondering.

The volume was back on form yesterday - 117 posts - not bad for a Friday at this time of year. Most were reacting to the feeding frenzy provoked by Underpaid Artiscyn's dramatic introduction to the froup.

Now that Tom "Pom" Harrington has volunteered to take over the rhod stats (at http://www.pcisys.net/~tph/rhod-traffic.html ) how about some qualitative analysis this time?

There are five main styles of posters in rhod:

The initiator-commentator: starts threads and leads topics in discussion. A higher than average proportion of females in this group. Lacks aggression and is unlikely to respnd to flames.

The predator-raptor: normally a male, who waits to respond to other posts, in a witty or critical manner, the underlying pupose of which is self-aggrandisment.

The receptor-reactor: the workhorse of the froup, typified by high volume posting applying a 'quantity rather than quantity' approach. Without obvious justification, tends to assume proprietorial responsibility.

The inhibitor-moderator: a mostly infrequent poster who fails to identify double ententres. Doesn't understand the point of cascading and fails to identify his or her potential.

The poser-exhibitor: characterizes posts with self-references to genialia, piercing, tattooing, breast size and scatalogical topics.

Of course, there are other types represented here and sub-divisions of these main groups, but you will recognize many of them in regulars in the froup.

'grid.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: rhod stats down?
From: cclovis.gtenospam.net (Cici in Texas)
Date: Tue, 18 May 1999 06:00:06 GMT

On Mon, 17 May 1999 10:08:58 -0500, DMP tapped out:
>grid4016.my-dejanews.com wrote in message <7hjuus$2rt$1.nnrp1.deja.com>...
>>The poser-exhibitor: characterizes posts with self-references to genialia, piercing, tattooing, breast size and scatalogical topics. Of course, there are other types represented here and sub-divisions of these main groups, but you will recognize many of them in regulars in the froup.
>COOL! I'm special!
>Anyone want to see my huge pierced dick?

Aren't you even going to offer us any candy first? Geez, some people just have NO sense of the proprieties!

Cici in Texas
--
At this point, her Huff arrived, whereupon she departed in it.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Important news! (oh lookie, another new thread)
From: barry.londo.freeuk.com (Barry O'Neill)
Date: Tue, 25 May 1999 23:09:59 GMT

In article <7ievdu$cfp$1.nnrp1.deja.com>, asharka.my-dejanews.com says...
> ferret.charm.net wrote:
> > "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", the scene outside the French castle, and I claim my castle full of virgins.
> So, Mike. Can you explain the origin of this form of response? Not the MP thing, but the "You are 'recognisable name' and I claim my 'monetary amount/reward' i.e. 5 pounds" Or maybe Malc, Barry, Tim W, or Richard? It appears to be a Brit thing; a game show maybe?

Ah, the legendary "Chalky" White Affair. Some years ago, there was a publicity stunt by some newspapers which involved publishing a cropped photo of a chap generically called "Chalky" White. This character would visit various holiday resorts and holidaymakers were encouraged to approach total strangers, whilst carrying that days copy of the newspaper, and engage them thusly:

Holidaymaker: "You are Chalky White, I am holding today's Daily Blah, and I claim my five pounds."

Chalky: "It's a fair cop, you done me like a kipper, 'ere's yer fiver."

Punter and Chalky would then go their separate ways, punter to exchange said fiver for several pints of Watney's Red, and Chalky to his next encounter.

However, the practice died out shortly after the following exchange:

Holidaymaker: "you are Chalky White, I am not holding a copy of today's Daily Blah but I do have this very sharp knife, and I claim every last penny you have on your person."

Chalky: "Oh Jesus, please don't hurt me, here - take it all, please don't hurt me."

Recent attempts to revive the practice met with limited success. Apparently Chalky's body armour and four security guards proved to be something of a giveaway.

regards,

Barry



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