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1999 11 D

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: They're on to you...
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 16 Nov 1999 06:05:43 GMT

Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> said:
>Hey, speaking of grue...
>Is anybody besides me anxiously waiting for another 45 days to pass, so as to find out whether the sky turns green on 1/1/2000?

Ways Dan has embarassed himself recently, item #16,456: Woman in lab makes some completely-contracting-reality comment, to which I reply, "really? and what color is the sky in your universe?" Later, she reminds me that she's color-blind.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can hide in with the grass

From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
Firstly, color blindness is very rare in women. Secondly, color blind people can see blue quite clearly. You were had [*].
Ian.
[*] Quite possibly for the first time in your life.
.
From: brightredfish.mindspring.com (Paul)
Well duh. ALL color blind people can see ALL colors quite clearly. They just can't distinguish between some of them.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: They're on to you...
From: teh.Apexmail.com (Teh [tie:poe])
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 07:00:15 GMT

Rebeka Thomas wrote:
>> >what i meant was that "Have a nice day" is what HAND stands for. either 1: you are stupid, 2: you are deliberately stupid, or 3: i am being singled out to be picked on.
>> >based on past experiences, i'm going to assume 3 until shown proof otherwise.
<Bobbit>
>> In short, no, you're not singled out to be picked on. Lionel is not stupid, or deliberately stupid, he is telling untruths for comic effect.
>my "past experiences" were in a different group, which did not have such a tradition. this -always- happens to me. even in an irc channel that I CREATED, this happened to me. as i said, i think it's a net-wide conspiracy.

Damn, she's on to us. Quick everyone switch chairs!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: They're on to you...
From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 14:23:23 GMT

"Viki" <thevidts.stargate.net> wrote:
>Forgot the smiley at the end there, did I?
>Here it is, it was stuck in my pocket. : )

Ew. Now it's covered with lint.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: They're on to you...
From: technoatheist.spamIsBad.email.com (TechnoAtheist)
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 03:36:58 GMT

"Haywood Jablowme" <haywoodjablowme.usa.net> wrote:
>> Richard Cohen wrote:
>> > I participate in a number of newsgroups, and in most of them the use of killfiles is rife. I have don't recall seen anyone mention a killfile in RHOD before this week, and certainly not in anger.
>I killfiled everyone. I still have you all firmly in my killfile, and I never bother to read any posts. Well, that's mostly because I'm still illiterate, but you know what I mean.

Well that certainly explains the installation option of [*] Be included in Heywoods killfile.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: They're on to you...
From: tph.acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 03:39:56 GMT

Screwtape wrote:
>Daniel E. Macks schrieb:
>>Who was it that said something about making a hybrid OS that had the best of all worlds: the GUI of a Mac, the power of Unix, and Minesweeper.
>The CEO of Be, Inc.

That's MISTER Gasse to you. Let's go to the oddsmakers:

Jean-Louis Gasse: Built a new OS with the power of Unix and a Macish GUI.

Pro: Starting over avoids the curse of backwards compatibility.
Learned from past mistakes of Gasse and others.
Con: Gasse is French. BeOS is written in C++. Nobody uses it.
Odds: Long shot, 20:1 if Microsoft lives, 5:1 otherwise.
.
Steve Jobs: Ported the real Mac GUI onto BSD.
Pro: MacOS is the standard by which GUIs are measured. BSD has been refined and improved for years by lots of talented people.
Con: Jobs is a lunatic. Some people will never buy Apple no matter what. Real promise of MacOS X was killed by whiny users who didn't want to learn anything new.
Odds: Comeback kid, apparently. 5:1 if MS lives, 2:1 otherwise.
.
Linus Torvalds/Miguel de Icaza: Built a new Unix (but not Unix(tm)) OS that kicks ass, and a GUI that just might be as good as the Mac GUI someday.
Pro: Anything associated with Linux wins free karma points. Psycho open-source fanatics will do anything to make it succeed.
Con: Psycho open-source fanatics have no idea what anyone else wants to do with a computer. Being associated with RMS not always a good thing. Not all that different from KDE, but for open source maybe that doesn't matter.
Odds: Dark Horse. 1:1 for widespread Linux use, 10:1 for anyone outside the Linux world noticing.
.
Bill Gates: Crappy GUI on an even crappier base.
Pro: Billions and billions of dollars, and he's not afraid to throw his financial weight around. Sheeple think MS innovates.
Con: Software sucks. Even sheeple wise up sometimes. Justice Dept. is already firing up the BBQ to eat him alive.
Odds: Heavyweight champeen of the werld, 1:2

Get your bets in BEFORE Judge Jackson announces his decision.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: They're on to you...
From: "Nobody Knows" <nobloodynose.aol.com>
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 11:35:56 -0800

Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> wrote:
> Al Sharka <asharka.yahoo.com> said:
> > Kevin Kelley wrote:
> > } Is anybody besides me anxiously waiting for another 45 days to pass, so as to find out whether the sky turns green on 1/1/2000?
> > Not me. I'm Y2K complacent.
> I'm gonna ignore the non-sequitur (I know, that goes against everything rhod stands for) and talk about grue some more.
> It's nothing to do with Y2K[1], it's more of a logical conundrums or thought experiment, dealing with the weakness of inductive proof. See http://web.mit.edu/exodus/www/Thesis.html for a nice treatment.
> I ran across grue in either Hofstadter or Penrose, can't find the ref now so I hit google and found the above paper. It goes back to Hume and Goodman questioning deduction and induction; the point being, just because something's always been one way doesn't mean it always will. "grue" is part of a thought experiment that postulates a new color that is green now, but after jan 1 2000 will be blue. There's also "bleen" and a cute story about some natives that use grue and bleen because of the way their river changes color, and talk about the sky as being of changing color: sometimes grue, sometimes bleen, depending on whether it matches the river or not.
> Neet stough. There's gotta be people here that think this kind of thing is interesting. Where's our resident mathemeticos?
> Kevin "seeing the world in bleen and grue" Kelley
> [1] unless, of course, the sky actually does change color then; I'm not holding my breath, for fear of turning bleen.

This whole topic is getting gruesome...

From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
Then you quoted the wholedamnthing and it gruesome more.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: They're on to you...
From: "Nobody Knows" <nobodyknows_1234.yahoo.com>
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 11:38:46 -0800

Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> wrote:
> "Nobody Knows" <rekrapmd.ten.asu> said:
> > Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> wrote:
> > > Kevin "oh, can I borrow that slinky dress you're so proud of? it'll make my table-dance so much more special" Kelley
> > That dress makes your butt look fat.
> You're sleeping on the couch tonight.

Oh COME ON! Honey, I'm just trying to keep you from making a fool of yourself at the party!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: They're on to you...
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 16:00:00 -0700

Lurker Praps <malc.potnoodle.SPICEDHAM.net> said:
> Also Sprach Kevin Kelley:
> > Kevin "too fucking nice, I need people that can say fuck off without it being a national incident" Kelley
> You can tell me to fuck off any time you like, sweetie.

Thank you dearie, now do fuck off.


Kevin "ahh, that felt good. I like you better than the rest of my aunts." Kelley


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: They're on to you...
From: technoatheist.spamIsBad.email.com (TechnoAtheist)
Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 16:16:52 GMT

dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh) wrote:
> Pooglian <pooga.home.com.RemoveThis> wrote:
>> Jim Evans wrote:
>>> Screwtape wrote:
>>>} Donald Welsh schrieb:
>>>} >You'll get more in-jokes, and I'll tell you where to find the ref.
>>>} *Which* ref?
>>>The ref with the power.
>>What power?
>The power to right wrongs, leap tall buildings, and overturn oppressive regimes. As opposed to power-no-baka, which is the power to write your own name, leap puddles, and overturn a stack of blocks.

Wait, I thought it was "Faster than a speeding building, Able to leap tall bullets in a single bound"?

Well, now this is just awfully disappointing. I had JUST gotten my cape back from the cleaners too...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: They're on to you...
From: Richard.molerat.demon.co.uk (Richard Wilson)
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 99 17:18:52 GMT

jevans.physics.uottawa.ca "Jim Evans" writes:
> Pooglian wrote:
> } >> Normally, I would bust you all for cascading, but I liked that movie,
> } >ITYM "those movies". And I thought it went on forever, making it regrettably prime cascade fodder.
> } There was more than one? Were they able to get Bowie for the sequels?
> I think perhaps that Richard is confusing the classic "Labyrinth" with the utter tripe that is "The Never-Ending Story", which I think had twelve or fourteen sequels. You know, I think I'm going to have to watch "Labyrinth" when I go home next week.

Well, as far as rhodpoints go, we've got a bunch of Norways here. Having two weeks previously had to help my wife set her theatre group's annual quiz for the 2nd time[1], and having made it much easier this time because of the dark mutterings about "Mastermind" and such like last time, and then finding that the teams of contestants were still struggling - keep up at the back there - I fell to thinking how much easier things were on Usenet, where you could drop the obscurest of obscure references, and there would still be half a baker's dozen of people who got the right answer right away.

So no, of course I wouldn't confuse Jim Henson's excellent "Labyrinth" starring everybody's favourite closet heterosexual with "The Neverending Sequels". The other film I was referring to was the 1937 screwball comedy "The Awful Truth" in which, unless my memory is playing hideous tricks on me, the voodoo/who do/you do wordplay was indulged in on at least two occasions by Cary Grant and Irene Dunne. Custody of the thin man's leftover dog came into it somewhere too, but that's just by the bye.

[1] You have to set the quiz if you won it the previous year. The trick therefore is to always come 2nd by a margin small enough to show you could easily have won if you'd wanted to, but large enough to stop the leading team sabotaging you at the last minute. Last year my wife got overexcited on the last sudden death round - recognising Charles Dickens just from the date of his birth for god's sake - and panicking the team ahead of us into also answering and getting it wrong. Words were exchanged afterwards, as you can imagine. She won't be descending to that sort of reckless behaviour again.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----Any resemblance to Magnus Magnusson is purely coincidental--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Diamonds in the roughroup
From: pooga.home.com.RemoveThis (Pooglian)
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 14:43:18 GMT

dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh) wrote:
> pooga.home.com.RemoveThis (Pooglian) wrote:
>>OTOH, I think newbie-baiting is almost an art form here (AIMTITNPW).
>The RHOD posters are known to excel at all forms of baiting. They haven't just mastered newbie baiting, but every other form of baiting as well. When it comes to baiting, they're the masters.

So what you're saying is that RHOD posters are master bai...

I see. Well, I guess that explains a few things.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Diamonds in the roughroup
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 16 Nov 1999 23:57:08 GMT

Nobody Knows <nobloodynose.aol.com> said:
>Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> wrote:
>> dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) said:
>> > Nobody Knows <nobloodynose.aol.com> said:
>> > >Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au> wrote:
>> > >> Pooglian wrote:
>> > >> > Okay, that's it. Now, observe closely. This will either be: a) ignored totally by the regulars (humor-free posts often are), or b) completely contradicted within three responses.
>> > >> Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.
>> > >Be sure to paint over that water stain over there, it looks like a face when I lay in bed at night and it frightens me...
>> > That's not a *water* stain.
>> Well, we already had the pissing contest, I guess now it's time for the "who can ejaculate on the ceiling" contest.
>> Kevin "or maybe not" Kelley
>Please, let's not. I don't ejaculate any more straight than I pee...

Your shlong is so confused, it doesn't know whether it's coming or going.

dan, whose bight red Siamese fighting fishies put a quarter in their condoms


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Diamonds in the roughroup
From: technoatheist.spamIsBad.email.com (TechnoAtheist)
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 16:10:05 GMT

st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
>Nathan Sullivan schrieb:
>>pooga.home.com.RemoveThis (Pooglian) writes:
>>> Be sure to ask about the Triangle and Robert T-Shirts!
>>Ooh! You're probably joking, but man, I would love to have some T&R T-Shirts! (Guess I could make some up myself. I suspect I can draw as well as the Fishless One, anyway)
>I think T&R needs more fan-art. But yeah, a "Which one's Triangle?" shirt, or some pithy saying (see the Fan Art page for some nice examples of one-frame T&Rs) would go down quite well. And cheap to make, too!
>>--Nathan "Or just put some of the strips on a shirt, hmmm" Sullivan
>Be careful where you put the bit that says "Insert jumper leads" - you might get a bit of a shock.

What about a white shirt that has a box in the middle of it

+-------------------+
|      Insert       |
| Triangle & Robert |
|       Strip       |
+-------------------+

preferably drawn by hand with a felt-tip marker.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Diamonds in the roughroup
From: technoatheist.spamIsBad.email.com (TechnoAtheist)
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 07:54:20 GMT

"trog" <tim.thewrens.freeserve.co.uk.nospam> wrote:
>Noser the Fishless wrote ...
>> Rebeka Thomas wrote:
>> > > >> b) completely contradicted within three responses.
>> > > >I disagree, I'd never contradict you.
>> > > You did just there!
>> > I'm not the victim, but is this an example of newbie-baiting, or a new form of cascade
>> Oh... so THAT's the problem! Rebeka, go memorize every line of every sketch of every episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus. Now.
>And, for an even broader frame of reference, there's The Goonshow for you to catch up on ...

As well as (in no particular order):
Babylon5
StarTrek [^|voyager|]
MST3K (CC years)
The complete works of Roger Corman
H.R.R. Tolkein
H.R. Puffenstuff
Lenny Bruce
Cheech & Chong
The Jargon File
Ghostbusters
Steven Wright
Mirsky's Worst of the Web
The Dirk Gently Series
The Fast Show
The complete library of Warner Bros. Animated shorts including the WWII training and propaganda films unexpurgated Looney Toones/Merry Melodies and Animaniacs
Caddyshack
The Far Side
Perl 5.002 Manual
Red Dwarf
Calvin and Hobbes
Numerical Recipes in C : The Art of Scientific Computing
The Muppet Show
All RFCs
Beavis and Butthead
Carl Jung
Project T.W.I.N.K.I.E.
Karl Marx
Early SNL
HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy
Sigmond Freud
PDQ Bach
Sygmund the Sea Monster
The Princess Bride (read the book too)
Mad Magazine
Frank Zappa
Time Bandits "Don't Touch it, it's EEEVIIILL!"
Cecil Adams
The Oregon Highway Dept. Whale Disposal Solution
Any 4 conflicting philosophers (e.g. Plato, Descarte, Nietzsche & Kierkegaard)
Stranger in a Strange Land
Selected Woody Allen Films (You have to guess which ones)
South Park
Brazil (movie, not country)
Ray Bradbury's "The Murderer"
Andy Kauffman
The Lower Manhattan Yellow Pages
alt.humor.best-of-usenet
and (of course) "Triangle and Robert"

Have those read and ready to report by tomorrow.
One of the other professors will provide additional reading materials.

From: Lars Clausen <lrclause.cs.uiuc.edu>
Not to mention:

Larry Nivens Known World stories
Gödel, Escher, Bach.
Douglas Hofstadters Metamagical Themas
Sluggy Freelance
Narnia
All HOWTOs
1984
War and Peace
Asterix
.

From: hetta.saunalahti.fi (Henriette Kress)
Discworld
RHO, past Oracularities, Zadocularities, and other like material
.
From: Lurker Praps <m.pack.NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk>
The complete works of Andrew Harmon, Robert Rankin, Tom Holt and Frank Miller, Dinosaurs (the TV series), every chart-topping song ever recorded by anyone before you (but not me, Ian, Paul, Al etc.) were born.
.
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
I would also like to add:
The Superior Person's Book of Words (both volumes, if possible) by Peter Bowler
Illuminatus trilogy
The Screwtape Letters
The complete collection of Bloom County, including Outland
Some pre-1980 Doonesbury
First couple seasons of "Mork and Mindy"

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Diamonds in the roughroup
From: brightredfish.mindspring.com (Paul)
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 12:33:28 GMT

st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
>>> H.R.R. Tolkien
>...?
>I know J.R.R. Tolkien, but never heard of H.R.R.

John's brother 'Enery. He wrote radio commercial jingles for a brand of seed cakes that was popular in the mid-1940's. John Tolkien used his brother as the inspiration for Bombadil, after which 'Enery never spoke to him again.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Diamonds in the roughroup
From: Al Sharka <asharka.yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 1999 10:49:25 -0600

Jim Evans wrote:
> Pooglian wrote:
> [snipperix]
> } I even used to have Asterix socks. I'd still have them, but I accidentally left them in Wisconsin at a friend's wedding.
> One of *those* weddings, eh? Say n'more!

If it was one of "those" weddings, why waste time taking your socks off?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Diamonds in the roughroup
From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 1999 08:04:12 +1100

TechnoAtheist wrote:
> I tell ya, sometimes it's hell having a photographic memory

I'll say. All my memories have this bloody great big thumb in front of
them.

Ian.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Diamonds in the roughroup
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 1999 02:08:16 +1100

GW De Lacey schrieb:
>Rebeka honey, why don't you go outside and play in the Sand-pit [TM] for a while(1). The Big People want to talk. I promise we'll call you when we're finished. If you stay there for a long time (very long), there may be ice-cream.

So much of my childhood suddenly becomes clear.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Diamonds in the roughroup
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Sat, 20 Nov 1999 13:43:08 -0700

dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) said:
> Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> said:
> >Actually all I want to say is, it's pretty sick when you (I mean I) can see wbo and jbex and figure it out from the context before even bothering to apply rot13.
> >Kevin "no life, but at least I've got a window" Kelley
> What's running in it?

Screensaver. You know, the one where the sun comes up, moves across the sky and goes down, synchronized to the time of day; birds fly by every once in a while. Sometimes an owl or a hawk; the other day it even showed me a pheasant. Yeah... if only life could be like that.

It's a waste of a gigapixel display, but hell, it's worth it.


Kevin "clouds in my coffee" Kelley


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Diamonds in the roughroup
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 1999 14:41:30 +1100

Daniel E. Macks schrieb:
>If you were used to spending 24 hours a day with explosive diarrhea, standing in a pool of water holding bare electrical lines while someone shoved carnovorous rats up your ass, having someone give you non-conductive rubber boots would be a step up, no?

I feel sorry for the guy shoving the rats into someone with explosive diarrhea.

As a torture, it might backfire somewhat.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Git ya kwest-shun-airs 'ere!
From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 14:30:06 GMT

st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) oozed viscously:
>Rebeka Thomas schrieb:
>>in MY version, you don't NEED the extra /
>>[hopes not to start a vi vs clones holywar]
>Oooh, please let's not. We need to settle our differences and work together against the great Evil Making All Creatures Sad.

You can't spell vile and evil without vi.

Besides, ed doesn't require a terminating separator thingamajig.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Arrgghhh....
From: "ken.and.alison.adams" <ken.and.alison.adams.worldnet.att.net>
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 19:21:46 -0500

Lurker Praps wrote:
> > Ken Adams
> > new Daddy again
> > Matthew Kenneth, 11/12/99, 8 lbs, 13 oz, no epidural
> Shee-it, that was fast. Seems like only a week ago that the last one came along.

We used a heat lamp -- works wonders for incubation time.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Arrgghhh....
From: clemenr.westminster.ac.uk (Ross Clement)
Date: 16 Nov 1999 15:33:51 GMT

Arrrgghhhhhh.......

From: Al Sharka <asharka.yahoo.com>
No, that's "Waaaaaa", and bend your head a little more like this.
.
From: brightredfish.mindspring.com (Paul)
Perhaps he was dictating.
.
From: "Nobody Knows" <nobloodynose.aol.com>
Cool, primal scream therapy, I want to play too!
AAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAA AAAARR RRRRRR RRRRRR RRRRRR RRRRRR RRRRRR RRRRRR GGGGGG GGGGGG GGGGGG GGGGGG GGGHHH HHHHHH HHHHH!
.
From: technoatheist.spamIsBad.email.com (TechnoAtheist)
Ah, but primal screams are more soothing if evoked from others. Excuse me, the poker has just started glowing white. Oh, Rebeka?...
.
From: twchew.raspberry.mindspring.com (Tim Chew)
Is this in reference to the 200-some-odd posts in the last twelve hours?
.
From: "ken.and.alison.adams" <ken.and.alison.adams.worldnet.att.net>
Nothing unusual about odd posts here.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Arrgghhh....
From: Al Sharka <asharka.yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 1999 07:15:08 -0600

Ross Clement wrote:
} Tim Chew wrote:
} : Ross Clement did thusly type:
} : >Tim Chew wrote:
} : >: Ross Clement did thusly type:
} : >: >Arrrgghhhhhh.......
} : >: Is this in reference to the 200-some-odd posts in the last twelve hours?
} : >No, I just decided to post 'arrrgghhhh' to rhod to see what would happen.
} : What an interesting concept.
} It's been quite successful. I'm thinking carefully about what sound effects I should follow it up with.

Can you do a formula 1 race car downshifting into a hairpin turn?

Or, how about the noise you make (mentally) when your wife decides it's *your* turn to get up to put the baby back to sleep at three AM.

Oh yeah. You did that one already. Sorry.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Arrgghhh....
From: latebird.usa.net (Ben)
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 1999 23:35:22 -0600

Al Sharka <asharka.yahoo.com> wrote:
! My first son only breast-fed for about six months, then wasn't getting enough, so we had to supplement with formula feedings.

Have your wife do the breastfeeding next time.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The BitchQDG is back
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 16:37:09 -0500

Ben Fisher wrote:
} Lurker Praps wrote:
} > > Pooglian:
} > > > Luckily, Cascades are not an endangered species,
} > > TMBSUOTWLuckilyOWIWPU (OWTTE) <that must be some use of the word luckily of which I was previously unaware>
} > > --*---RW---*----*----*----*----*-----****---r.m.d.c.u---*------*---
} > > --*----*---*---*-----*----*---*-*----*---*----CPMIS?----*--*---*---
} > Mummy!
} In the context of KEYBOARD!!, MONITOR!!, and SQUICK!!, I don't even want to know what this means.

He's probably just coming unravelled.

JIM


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The BitchQDG is back
From: Jason Willoughby <jwilloug.gate.net>
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 10:53:10 -0400

Pooglian <pooga.home.com.removethis> wrote:
> And I resent the implication that I am some kind of bot! I am obviously leaps and bounds more advanced than the average model^Wnewbie!

Well, duh. Newbies are inherently superior to older posters. Progress marches ever onward...

> (Master Jason, I think we fooled them! No one will suspect now!)

Someone needs a new post-or-email decision routine.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The BitchQDG is back
From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 14:34:34 GMT

pooga.home.com.RemoveThis (Pooglian) wrote:
>Mr. Fox, sir, I can't do it. I can't say it, I won't chew it. But what do you know about tweedle beetles?

Well ... when tweedle beetles fight, it's called a tweedle beetle battle.

From: pooga.home.com.RemoveThis (Pooglian)
Now I suppose you're going to tell me that when tweedle beetles battle in a puddle, it's called a tweedle beetle puddle battle.
.
From: cierhart.ic.net (Otis Viles)
Hmm ... if the other bugs go and tell the principal they're fighting, I suppose that's a tweedle beetle puddle battle tattle.
.
From: Lurker Praps <m.pack.co.uk>
Moving the way beetles do, that'll be a tweedle beetle puddle battle tattle scuttle.
.
From: pooga.home.com.RemoveThis (Pooglian)
And of course, the fight broke out over a game of ping pong, so technically it's a tweedle beetle puddle paddle battle tattle scuttle.
.
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Argh! Yer all looney!
Screwtape,
Not sure whether to send you all to the Recycle Bin or to BORHOD.
.
From: Ben Fisher <ben.fisher.spam.buster.intel.com>
Say that five times fast.
I have trouble getting through the second.
.
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
And when they both get hauled into the principal's office to answer the tattle-tale's accusations, it'll be a tweedle beetle puddle paddle battle tattle scuttle rebuttal.
JIM, say it with me now!
.
From: Lurker Praps <m.pack.co.uk>
The principal being an amphibian, that'll be a tweedle beetle puddle paddle battle tattle scuttle axolotl rebuttal then.
.
From: pooga.home.com.RemoveThis (Pooglian)
Also, don't forget he's double chinned, which makes it a tweedle beetle puddle paddle battle tattle scuttle wattle axolotl rebuttal.
.
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Unfortunately a ping pong paddle cracked his shell, so he walks with a tweedle beetle puddle paddle battle tattle scuttle rattle.
.
From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
And when bettles tattle beetles about a puddle paddle battle and they bore each other stupid drawing wooly dogs and cows with spaghetti --

they call *this* a tweedle beetle puddle paddle battle poodle cattle noodle doodle twaddle tattle scuttle.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The BitchQDG is back
From: "Scott Draper" <sctidr.hotmail.com>
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 11:40:16 -0500

Jason Willoughby wrote:
> Scott Draper <sctidr.hotmail.com> wrote:
> > Oh, I'd check it over, though, Jason. It [Rebeka] seems to have gotten stuck in a loop on the GIF thing.
> I think it captures the eager newb^Hgrie flavor really well. Ever been around a small child who has just learned a new joke?

Ah. So it's a feature?

Cheers,

Scott

--
Scott Draper
Programmer, JIM Interactive Project
"Now 10% more ego!"


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The BitchQDG is back
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 23:47:29 -0700

"Kimberly Chapman" <kacee.outer-net.com> said:
> Daniel E. Macks wrote in message ...
> >Speaking of what, where is the Kerbelster?
> Doing more exciting things than trying to keep up with the flood of posts here.

Sheeya. But how long can you spend cleaning your fingernails?


Kevin "my _real_ life's pretty exciting, honest" Kelley


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: AIR Ig Nobel prizes
From: Lurker Praps <m.pack.co.uk>
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 19:13:29 +0000

Also Sprach Nobody Knows:
> > Kimberly Chapman -- http://outer-net.com/kacee/welcome.htm
> > ----------------------------------------------------------
> > "Are there any of my shit stories that aren't revolting?"
> > -- Dumpcarat (aka Daniel Parker) in RHOD

> I GOT INTO A .SIG! COOL!

Nonsense. Daniel Parker got into a sig. Nobody Knows who the fsck you are, interloper.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: AIR Ig Nobel prizes
From: Al Sharka <asharka.yahoo.com>
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 22:32:54 -0600

Ben Fisher wrote:
} Nobody Knows wrote:
} > Good, glad I frighten them, I frighten lots of people, but usually only when I turn my eyelids inside out like this...
} That's cool. Can you show me how to do that?
} Ben
} i almost said "can you show me how to do it?" but managed to stifle it in time.

Gee, I never heard "it" called "that" before.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: AIR Ig Nobel prizes
From: brightredfish.mindspring.com (Paul)
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 1999 12:04:06 GMT

"Kimberly Chapman" <kacee.outer-net.com> wrote:
>Ben wrote:
>>> [1] On a recent trip in the US that involved getting groceries, I noticed that the expiration date on the milk both in jugs and cartons was considerably shorter than I'm used to. Bagged milk in the grocery store typically has at least 3 weeks before spoiling.
>>Your country is a bit smaller, which would make transport faster, wouldn't it?
>>Also, is your milk more pasteurized than ours?
>Our country is actually quite a bit larger and with a more spread-out population base. Not in the area where I live, but in most of the country, anyway.

Yeahbut it's always cold up in Canada, so that helps the milk stay fresh longer.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: AIR Ig Nobel prizes
From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 1999 16:54:11 GMT

Molly Devonshire <days_and_nights.my-deja.com> wrote:
>(I do *not* have mirrors on the ceiling. The mirrors are on the floor)

All this time I thought those were windows.

-- D. "I guess that explains the flying furry animals downstairs." W.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: AIR Ig Nobel prizes
From: Richard.molerat.demon.co.uk (Richard Wilson)
Date: Sat, 20 Nov 99 09:46:32 GMT

jevans.physics.uottawa.ca "Jim Evans" writes:
> Corran Webster wrote:
> } Mornington Crescent?
> } Corran
> } (triple shunt reverse! Yes! *does victory dance*)
> Can you do a triple shunt reverse without a flux capacitor?

Only if the green counter is reversed. And since his predecessor had already closed off all the diagonals below the diagonal, straight traverses were not legally available to him. His only remaining attacking options were in fact Rushton's Gambit, the Luxembourg Shift or an elliptical progression south of the river.

Corran is hereby exiled to the outer quadrant somewhere near the Hanger Lane Orbital System. And be thankful you're not in Nidd.

-Richard Brooke-Taylor----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
And don't think you can get round me by saying Birdcage Walk either


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: AIR Ig Nobel prizes
From: Lurker Praps <malc.potnoodle.SPICEDHAM.net>
Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 05:59:28 +0000

Also Sprach Donald Welsh:
> Sex and drugs and rock'n'roll.

Not tonight, dear, my piles are playing up again.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: AIR Ig Nobel prizes
From: technoatheist.spamIsBad.email.com (TechnoAtheist)
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 16:18:27 GMT

Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> wrote:
>st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) said:
>> Rebeka Thomas schrieb:
>> >> Thereby proving, once again, that there is no reference too obscure for two rhodents.
>> >wanna bet? My bot program just got a UAE
>> >[btw it's not in the jargon file, dont bother looking.]
>> It's an Unrecoverable Application Error, the Windows 3.0 term for a General Protection Fault, Exception 13 (on Intel) or Signal 11 (on Unix).
>Funny, I've been using windows for many years now and I've never seen that one.
>Kevin "if I'm lying I'm dy^H^Hwishing for an OS" Kelley

You haven't been using Windows long enough....

With every version of windows, the "OhShit" error gets a new name.

In the beginning it was Unknown Error.
It then became Unrecoverable Application Error (since it took out just the app) Then 95 rolled out and it became General Protection Fault.
Which evolved into Unhandled Exception.

It's not well known what the Win2K Error message will be, but with a higher emphasis on object coding, some of the potential candidate names include:

Detached Object Jam
Reclaimed Exception Not Operational
Major Access Collision
Late Interception of Nonfunctioning Unhandled eXception



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