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1999 11 F

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d,alt.tv.sliders
Subject: Re: Overreactions
From: Rich Churcher <churchmouse.mpx.com.au>
Date: 24 Nov 1999 11:12:02 +1100

Lurker Praps <m.pack.co.uk> writes:
> Ooh, you simply *must*. Out is an exciting place with a high frame rate.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Frame rate.

But it's the brightness that gets me, the brightness, the colour, the contrast... <shudder>

And every so often my

v
v
v
v
v
ertical hold goes ban
n
n
n
anas

Dagnabbit.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Want Free Domain Name
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 23 Nov 1999 05:03:26 GMT

Paul <brightredfish.mindspring.com> said:
>"verlinh" <verlinh.email.msn.com> wrote:
>><goodswell.mail.com> wrote:
>>> To all Internet User
>>> Could you tell me which Web-Site have free domain name for register..?
>>> Please E-mail me..
>>> Thanks for help..!!
>>> Stephen
>>> reg.
>>Stephen,
>>Check out the Ultra-Secret Domain Name registry at http://127.0.0.1.
>Hey! *I'M* using that address for *MY* DNS server. You can't have it.

There's so much crap coming out of that host, I started dropping all packets from it on the floor.

Hello? *HELLO????*

From: tph.acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
You don't have to take that. Pick your favorite DoS attack and bomb 'em back to the stone age.
.
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
I just tried it, and some bastard did it right back to me. Great fscking idea, Tom.
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies download pr0n from warez.org

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Moderation
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 11:58:10 -0600

Lionel wrote:
} Ed Chauvin IV
} >I vote for the guy who moderates alt.dev.null.
} Eli The Bearded? *cough*

Is he still around? I haven't seen him over in comp.* in ages. Oh. I get it.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Moderation
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 22 Nov 1999 23:50:39 GMT

gnohmon8715.my-deja.com <gnohmon8715.my-deja.com> said:
>This should be a moderated group.

Nah...this is the froup of excesses.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies take moderation to the max


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A solution to my problem that does not require any work by anyone besides me.
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 20:46:58 +1100

Kevin Kelley schrieb:
>Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> said:
>> [message posted to rec.humor.oracle.d and mailed to bgates.microsoft.com, I hope that's the correct address]
>Well, that bounced. Anybody know BG's address? It's claimed that he reads his email, and I don't want to slag the guy without telling him I'm doing it.

billg.microsoft.com

Of course, we *really* know that the Great Unwashed can't send email to Bill unless they mail to a certain hidden address, with a certain cookie in the header, and pre-route the message to an obscure SMTP host in Kuwait, and have sufficient inside knowledge of Microsoft to time the message such that it gets transmitted in the brief interval between the end of the server's scheduled downtime, and the server's next BSOD. <blue screen of death>

Screwtape,
Kicking Microsoft for Fun and Profit.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A solution to my problem that does not require any work by anyone besides me.
From: Lurker Praps <malc.potnoodle.SPICEDHAM.net>
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 18:13:19 +0000

Also Sprach Pooglian:
> One newsreader I've heard good things about (although being free isn't one of them), is Gravity. Of course, the people espousing this were going on about it's wonderful filtering capabilities. Anyone out there using it (or tried it)?

Tonight, live on NoLongerLive!TV, Barry vs Malcolm in a battle to the notfeelingatallwell over Agent vs Gravity. This is a fight more viscous than the Vi vs Emacs wars, more hideous than that bloke with the speech defect who keeps sticking up for Jeffrey Archer, more bloodthirsty than a vampire who's just spent the weekend with JIM and Kevin without realising that they're only bots, able to leap tall buildings in a single episode, and smelling slightly of gefilte fish.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A solution to my problem that does not require any work by anyone besides me.
From: Pooglian <pooga.home.com.RemoveThis>
Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 02:51:40 GMT

Donald Welsh wrote:
> Lars Clausen <lrclause.cs.uiuc.edu> sed:
>> st.ferd2.thristian.org wrote:
>>> Jarom Lechner schrieb:
>>>> Lurker Praps wrote:
>>>>>Also Sprach Ed Chauvin IV:
>>>>>> You can try out the full version of Agent 1.6 for 30 days.
>This is helpful.
>>>>>s/1.6/1.7/
>This is new.
>>>>s/\.6\/1\./\\\.6\/1\\\./g
>This is silly.
>>> s/\\.\//\//g
>This is pretty.
>>It's not even necessary. That . just happens to match the ., so it works fine. For this message. And you don't need to escape dots in the replacement.
>This is correct.

Cool! Instant cascade, just add Donald!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Punch the Monkey
From: technoatheist.spamIsBad.email.com (TechnoAtheist)
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 07:30:43 GMT

Pooglian <pooga.home.com.RemoveThis> wrote:
>Has anyone else noticed this "Punch the Monkey" banner ad showing up all over the place lately? Does anyone else want to punch the monkey that came up with the idea?

Oh come now, you mean you consider a fast-moving, cyclone-like, monkey-on-crack zipping back and forth across your page and possibly causing epileptic fits among some to be a bad marketing idea?

You find the fact that the $20 isn't really cash money but some bait-and-switch discount off of future purchases deceptive and possibly illegal?

Next thing you know you'll also tell me that the IBM ad that played their five note theme over and Over and OVER every time you moved your .#$&! mouse near the $.!#!$!! ad or the page displayed so you wanted to hide in the bushes with a baseball bat and beat the living %#.#!$!!! out of the #.!$! brained !#!%!()*! market!#()!*$ing GENIUS and the !#)(!)*%! engineer that thought it was a !&!.#!#. good idea AND NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH ZIPPY THE !&!(!.(.#!! MONKEY AND ALL YOU HAVE IS A *#$&(!.! PUNCHING BAG TO WAX THAT LITTLE BASTARD WHEN YOU REALLY WANT A !.#!.$ AK-47 OR SOME !(#!.#$!!! PLASTIQUE TO GREASE THAT FURRY !.#!!$.!$ AND !.#!!.$! THE $20!?!?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!

<heavy breathing, veins on neck very visible>

*ahem*

<smoothes back hair, fixes tie>

Why yes, I believe I am familiar with that ad. Why do you ask?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Punch the Monkey
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Sat, 27 Nov 1999 00:33:55 -0700

Viki <thevidts.stargate.net> said:
> Screwtape wrote:
> > You should ask to see Kibo's Big Sig. I've heard it's.. impressive.
> You fellas do know that size isn't everything, right?

There was a spot on the radio the other day, "penis enlargement using hypnotism." Breast enlargement tapes also available. Funny how so many people seem to think that sexual success is only an inch, or a cup size, away.

"No, it's not your complete lack of personality or the fact that you don't shower, it's just that your penis is too small."


Kevin "Wonder if I can get my money back?" Kelley


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Punch the Monkey
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Sat, 27 Nov 1999 15:02:18 -0500

Ben wrote:
[snip "Big Ben"]
} >-Getting perilously close to my first afw, Ben.
} It's my longest sig. Once I add all of my other ones to the list, you will only see it once in a green moon.
} afw? <alt.fan.warlord, the ng where people ridicule overlong .sigs>

alt.fan.wodehouse. Discussion of the proper technique in pinching silver cow creamers and policemen's helmets, and What the Well-Dressed Man is Putting In His Sig File. Four lines are de rigeur.

Tinkerty-Tonk,

JIM


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Yet another link I find interesting
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 05:38:39 -0700

Pooglian <pooga.home.com.RemoveThis> said:
> This is getting weird. Yet again, my newsswerver seems to have passed along my post, but not bothered to keep it. I've got your reply, but not the post I sent that you're replying to.

I accidentally killfiled myself once... all I saw was people flaming me, and I didn't know why.

Kevin "lucky there aren't more Kevin Kelley's on the net; filtering would be so much more difficult" Kelley


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: This Joyous Season...
From: technoatheist.spamIsBad.email.com (TechnoAtheist)
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 18:26:49 GMT

Here in the states we're about to celebrate Thanksgiving. That joyous time of year we remember back when a bunch of folks came here from England with no recognizable farming skills to establish a new life for themselves and were rescued from starving by helpful Native Americans (who are probably seriously second-guessing that move) and since we're Americans we feel obligated to force our holidays upon an unwilling world but at least the Canadians were smart about it all and decided to hold the whole mess a month earlier when we were bloating ourselves on Holloween candy anyway but I still have this mental image of kids going door to door and getting giblets.

Each year, we flock to overcrowded airports, train-stations, highways where tempers raise well past critical so that we can gather with friends and/or loved ones or loved friends (if you get into that sort of thing) but mostly some of us sit around watching athletic competitions where men reach between the legs of other men and then are pummeled over a leather balloon, and get stinking drunk off of cheap beer while elder family members take this welcome time to bring up historical tidbits of the family, like describing to blushing Betzi's fiancée the time Betzi showed off her poopies to the neighbors.

Carefully we craft heaping portions of Mashed Potatoes, Candied Yams, Creamed Onions, Baked Potatoes, Green Bean Casserole, Loaves, Steamed Potatoes, Fruit, Potato Salad, Cole Slaw, Three kinds of Stuffing, The thing that Aunt Clara gave us but we don't know what it is, More .#$.% Potatoes, wild rice with almonds, and the traditional centerpiece, a hormone injected slab of farm animal roasted to bare recognition, and served by a sobbing mother who swore that this year
would be different and that if Bill got off his fat ass and helped her in the kitchen instead of just farting in front of TV with his brother and that's just the kind of example we need to set for the children.

We cover these delectable items with gravy (which is basically rendered fat and flour) in hopes that whatever that blue-greenish stuff that was thrust on your plate might be slightly more edible or at least unrecognizable or maybe it will at least slide down faster and you really didn't want it but grandma has special dietary needs and we don't want her to feel excluded, and it's good for you so just hold your nose or whatever and chew it but try not to let it touch your tongue but at least you can try to forget about it by shoveling in huge forkfuls of mashed potatoes and crunchy turkey (is it really supposed to be that crunchy no I think that may have been a bone, no it was just a toasted crouton) and Betzi is crying again because her fiancée made comment about how that lump in the gravy sitting on top of her potatoes probably brings back memories of her childhood and now cousing Billy just sprayed all of his milk from his nose all over Grandma's strained spinach and kelp dish which seems to be taking on a life of it's own and Bill starts laughing so hard that he passes gas and we all run from the table.

The after the dinner is done and the dogs finish clearing the table for us because little Billy saw it on Little Rascals and thought it was funny then but it would be funnier now and everyone else is too boated to think about chasing after the damn dogs so let them finish the frigging turkey because nobody really wants to be eating leftovers until Christmas and I swear if someone suggest Turkey Tetrazzini again I am going to force it down their throats with a plunger and speaking of plungers did Grandma die in the bathroom, c'mon we all have to go and why couldn't we have had dinner at Uncle Tom's where he's got three full bathrooms instead of here where we've only got two and the one downstairs doesn't even have a door on it and when you're sitting on it you can wave to the neighbors.

Then we all pile into our respective vehicles and struggle to remain conscious or sober or whatever as we hurtle along the highways with all the windows down and the stereo blasting just so we can stay awake and the kids are complaining that the sleet is hurting their faces and you yell that "in your day, we use to catch sleet on our tongues" and your wife corrects you that it was snow but you just flash her an evil eye which you really regret because your sex privileges evaporate as fast as the traffic is not moving and although the thought of seeing her or yourself naked makes you even more nauseous you know full well that you're not going to get lucky until well past New Years and the kids are crying again, or maybe it's just the ice freezing on their faces but why the hell didn't you go before you left the house because now you're stuck on the freeway and you've got to go more than ever.

From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
You too?

So, how are you spending the holidays?

From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Offline.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The OTHER Oracle SETI team
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 08:56:58 +1100

Donald Welsh schrieb:
> st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
>>See, Rebeka? We *do* have a FAQ. It's just kind of uncomfortably large..
>Yeah, it's too large for me to post. That's the ticket!

wget -R www.deja.com
tar czvf rhodfaq.tar.gz www.deja.com/*
uuencode rhodfaq.tar.gz
du -h rhodfaq.tar.gz.uu
129G rhodfaq.tar.gz.uu

Hmm... perhaps we should make an alt.binaries.rhod.faq?

From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
My ROT13 decoder seems to have stopped working.
.
From: brightredfish.mindspring.com (Paul)
You need the upgrade to ROT13 v1.7 beta.
.
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
No, 1.7 is already out. You can try ROT13 for 30 days, but the same company offers FreeROT13, which you can use for as long as you like. I'm not sure if it supports the latest version of the ROT13 encryption codec, though. Jeff?
.
From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
We won't have a final version of the codec until the music industry is convinced ROT13 can't be used to make pirate recordings.
.
From: tph.acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
What is WITH you people? ROT 13 is ancient! And not only that, it was superceded by ROT 13.1, ROT 13.2, ROT 13.2.1, etc. ROT 14 came out last year, and ROT 15 is in beta right now.
Don't tell anyone-- but I'm secretly using an unreleased development version of ROT 26...
.
From: Lars Clausen <lrclause.cs.uiuc.edu>
Feh! Don't you think we can tell the difference! I bet you haven't configured it properly -- looks like it's not running at all!
.
From: Pooglian <pooga.home.com.RemoveThis>
Net! Fuvire zr gvzore! Ninfg gur znvafnvy! Onggra qbja gur ungpurf!
Znxr rz jnyx gur cynax! Lb ub ub naq n obggyr bs ehz!
Well, so much for that THAT idea... <Arg! Shiver me timber! Avast the mainsail! Batten down the hatches! Make em walk the plank! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!>
From: "Nobody Knows" <nobodyknows_1234.yahoo.com>
After I ROT13'd this (with FreeROT13), it still didn't make any sense.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The OTHER Oracle SETI team
From: SamIAm <samiam.hotbot.com>
Date: 30 Nov 1999 00:39:11 EST

Pooglian <pooga.home.com.RemoveThis> wrote:
>Rebeka Thomas wrote:
>>Nobody Knows <nobodyknows_1234.yahoo.com> wrote:
>>> After I ROT13'd this (with FreeROT13), it still didn't make any sense.
>>So sorry if this has been answered, but where can i get FreeROT13?
>I'm not sure, but they're giving away DryROT13 down at the harbor!

I heard that they're giving away CrotchROT13 in the men's locker room!

SamIAm starting to sink lower and lower in this froup


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d,alt.tv.sliders
Subject: Re: Ms. Viki
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 23:43:59 -0700

Viki <thevidts.stargate.net> said:
> Kevin Kelley wrote:
> > Viki <thevidts.stargate.net> said:
> > > Kevin Kelley wrote:
> > > > Viki <thevidts.stargate.net> said:
> > > > > Murf wrote:
> > > > > > Parlay voo humma humma?
> > > > > Is that pig latin?
> > > > Oh, no, he just likes wearing a toga.
> > > Likes things flowing in the breeze, does he? Understood.
> > That reminds me, I need to pick up my kilt from the cleaners.
> > Kevin "gonna win another ribbon" Kelley
> Winning a ribbon? What are those big log throwing contests called? Is that what you are on about, Kevin? : )

A toss-off, yeah, that's what they're called. Or at least it oughtta be. Coming soon, the great log toss-off! Watch as brawny Scotsmen with no underwear line up to compete! Distance matters, but technique is important as well, and a firm two-handed grip and a smooth pull in the toss will characterize the winner. A junior event will also be held, with smaller logs and a single-handed grip only. Watch closely as our brawny Scotsmen grimace and flex, attempting to score maximum points for both distance and style!

Boy, it's a good thing the Scots aren't metaphorically-minded; there could seem to be a certain amount of sexual innuendo in that.


Now I'm wondering -- to drag the Oracle kicking and screaming into the discussion -- has anybody made the connection between the woodchuck question and the Scots log-toss before? There's gotta be some mileage in that.


Anyway, no, I certainly like the way your mind works, but I was thinking of the "Scotsman's Kilt" song... Pooga the YAD posted the text of it somewhere today, maybe he'll repost it here sometime.


Kevin "lad I don't know where ya been, but I see you won first prize" Kelley


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d,alt.tv.sliders
Subject: Re: Ms. Viki
From: Lionel <longword+usenet.newsguy.com>
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 13:40:28 +0800

Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> said:
>Happy to help... I find quite often I inspire women to fantasize about Mel Gibson.

"Oh my god, I wish he were Mel Gibson."


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d,alt.tv.sliders
Subject: Re: Ms. Viki
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 00:31:29 -0600

Viki wrote:
} Gareth Kitchener wrote:
} > Viki wrote:
} > >What are those big log throwing contests called?
} > Ignore Kevin. It's called "Tossing The Caber".
} Somehow I knew that I could count on my Limey pal to know that one. Thanks, G. Although he did start an interesting story, did he not.
} > {this space left blank for insertion (ooer) of more smutty remarks}
} None from me. Not today. [feeling a little under the weather.... ok, that's another straight line, isn't it...]

'round these parts, we spell it "wether", so yes, it would be very little indeed.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d,alt.tv.sliders
Subject: Re: Ms. Viki
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 14:33:39 -0700

Ed Chauvin IV <edc81u4.newsguy.com> said:
> Wasn't it this froup that determined a few[1] days ago that black and fuzzy were the two ideal traits in a sweater?

Speaking just for myself here, what I look for in a sweater is a pretty girl.


Kevin "sadly mine are all empty" Kelley


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: The Fuqing Long Tunnel
From: "trog" <tim.thewrens.freeserve.co.uk.nospam>
Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 21:20:21 -0000

Enough of this recent navel gazing in rhod, here's a really serious topic. The full article's at:
http://www.guardianunlimited.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,3934109,00.html and I've taken the liberty of summarising it here:

John Gittings in Hong Kong - Wednesday November 24, 1999
A novel approach to the problem of divided China is being seriously discussed in Beijing - a plan to build the world's longest underwater tunnel between the mainland and Taiwan. The route preferred by Chinese experts would take at least 16 years to build. The route leaves the Chinese mainland at Fuqing with a 19km aerial bridge to the small island of Pingtan. It then plunges underwater for 125km to surface near Xinzhu on the north coast of Taiwan.

From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
The route preferred by the Tawainese, however, leaves China at Beijing and plunges straight down for approximately 3600 km to the Earth's core, then stops.

</>

I can't help but think that any sort of massive building project between Taiwan and China would not be met with approval by the Taiwanese.

The underwater section of the Channel tunnel is 38km, with a total tunnel length of 50.5km. The only other comparable tunnel in the world links Japan's Honshu island with Hokkaido.
>etc.etc.<
The problem seems to be that the Fuqing Long Tunnel doesn't have a catchy name, nor even a slogan. I wondered if rhod could help?
--
Tim "not that long ..." Wren

From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
I think it's obvious.

"The Fuqing Long Tunnel - It's Fuqing Long!"

Or maybe

"The Fuqing Long Tunnel - It keeps Fuqing and Fuqing and ..."

or even

"The Fuqing Long Tunnel - Beat THIS, You Colonialist Pricks!"

JIM


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Agent, was Re: A solution to my problem that does not require any work by anyone besides me.
From: Lars Clausen <lrclause.cs.uiuc.edu>
Date: 27 Nov 1999 15:36:08 -0600

hetta.saunalahti.fi wrote:
> Yabut not everybody has unlimited disk space, even now.

What? You don't have unlimited disk space? C'mon, the Möbius Drive has been out for *years* now, and Turing Tapes have gotten *so* cheap. Only problem is, fsck takes forever. Literally.


Newsgroups: alt.tv.sliders,rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Kill, Kill, Kill (a.k.a. if Dexter and Rebeka bred, gods help us all)
From: Pooglian <pooga.home.com.RemoveThis>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 07:27:31 GMT

Ben wrote:
>bamurphy.lickmespamsuckingpigs.iname.com (Murf) wrote:
>>-As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!
>They can. I have seen them do so.

Didn't seem to help them much at the great Thanksgiving turkey giveaway.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Mildly Sensitive Losers
From: clemenr.westminster.ac.uk (Ross Clement)
Date: 29 Nov 1999 11:10:01 GMT

Lane Gray, Czar Castic (E9c6zumball.mwis.net) wrote:
: Jim Evans wrote in message ...
: > Dave Hemming wrote:
: >} I don't use the Oracle as much as I used to, but here are 3 of my answers that are infinitely better than the crud I see in my inbox day in and day out.
: >Which brings to mind a question that has possibly been answered before, but not while I've been paying attention: So Priests are allowed to incarnate? What do you do if one of your answers lands in your inbox?
: Check the FAQ. You will find this has been discussed, and there is apparently some sort of routine in the oracle code that prevents that from happening, unless the priest uses more than one mail account. That would be tacky, I'm afraid.

I usually stick to one address. But, once when I was working for two universities at once (don't ask), I got my own question to answer. And, it got into the digest as well.

One priest has admitted to me that s/he has digested his/her own oracularity, but it would be very 'kiss and tell' of me to say who :-)


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Mildly Sensitive Losers
From: brightredfish.mindspring.com (Paul)
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 23:01:21 GMT

surfbaud.waverider.co.uk.allyourclothes (Dave Hemming) wrote:
>[snip Priests Incarnating]
>Of course we do! Where do you think _good_ answers come from? Other supplicants? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Waitaminit! You're saying we're supposed to put the GOOD ones in the digests? Don't be ridicarous.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Mildly Sensitive Losers
From: Richard.molerat.demon.co.uk (Richard Wilson)
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 99 19:36:34 GMT

twchew.raspberry.mindspring.com "Tim Chew" writes:
> Oh yeah? What would happen if /I/ were to say /we/ were all priests.

It would cause considerably less consternation than if you were to say you were all priestesses.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----Ian, Queen of the Desert... nah, that doesn't work for me---


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Look, everybody!
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 21:34:36 -0500

Pooglian wrote:
} Lars Clausen wrote:
} >A new thread! No, actual just a mention that the queue is getting rather full...
} >On your marks...
} >Get set...
} >DRAIN!
} I've been trying! I do at least one answer a day (usually more), and (with a very few exceptions) give each question a well thought out answer. I'm not saying they're all long, or the height of comedy, but I refuse to rush out a silly answer that wouldn't satisfy me if I was

<brag> I've bunged out twelve answers this week, two of which just scream "digest me now, big boy!". </brag>

And several were written at Midnight.

JIM


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: DEXTER!!!!! I need your help!!!! URGENT!!!!
From: tjthomas.nyx10.nyx.net (Thor Thomas aka Kerr Avon)
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 15:26:13 GMT
X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test69 (20 September 1998)

Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au> wrote:
> Lars Clausen <lrclause.cs.uiuc.edu> wrote:
>>Gnus is nice there -- it asks if you really want to crosspost. Which in most cases, you really don't.
>Kids today have it so soft! I remember when newsreaders warned you that your message would cost thousands, if not millions, of dollars to send everywhere, and asked if you really wanted to post that badly.

Ooh, mine still does. For example, just as I put in the followup to Donald Welsh's article, the newsreader says:

|(Be sure to double-check the attribution against the signature, and trim the quoted article down as much as possible.)
|This program posts news to thousands of machines throughout the entire civilized world. Your message will cost the net hundreds if not thousands of dollars to send everywhere. Please be sure you know what you are doing.
|Are you absolutely sure that you want to do this? [ny]

... But I went ahead and posted anyway.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d,alt.tv.sliders
Subject: Re: Log Tossing at The Great Dexter Roast [was Ms. Viki]
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 16:31:52 -0700

Lionel <longword+usenet.newsguy.com> said:
>Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> said:
> >Sounds like fun, can I come too? I'm especially interested in the Celtic body-painting. Yeah, I can see it now... crowds of nude revelers finger-painting each other by bonfire-light, under a harvest moon. Anybody know some good fertility rituals?
> Eh? - You mean you *don't* consider people *finger painting each other* to be a fertility ritual?

Right, fine, but what comes after the finger-painting? Everyone seems to keep slipping away until I'm alone by the fire.


Kevin, baying at the moon


From: TechnoAtheist (technoatheist.spamIsBad.email.com)
Subject: Re: Oracle
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: 1999/11/23

"Rebeka Thomas" <ranko_1_2.hotmail.com> wrote:
>Al Sharka <asharka.yahoo.com> wrote:
>> Haywood Jablowme wrote:
>> > Screwtape wrote
>> > > Yes, I'm aware of DMP's renaming, but that'd spoil the joke.
>> > Yeah, it really would, wouldn't it...
>> s/p//
>I see no letter 'p' here.

That's because mailing biological waste is against the law.



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