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1999 09 B.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: Matthew Thomas <mpt26.student.canterbury.ac.nz>
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 1999 23:56:29 +1200

Screwtape wrote:
> Jim Evans schrieb:
> > Stop that. Stop that this instant. There will be no genaerating of mysterious superscripts here. I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm sure I disapprove of it.
> > =09JIM
> Sorry, JIM, but it seems TIN has some kind of broken MIME. Or slrn has some kind of broken MIME, since any MIME message it gets it offers to run through metamail and then ignores the output. *sigh*

Is a broken MIME one which makes a NOISE?


From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Back in yer box, Zippy.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: Richard.molerat.demon.co.uk (Richard Wilson)
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 99 16:55:57 GMT

gdelacey.bigpond.com "GW De Lacey" and others wrote a whole lotta stuff:

Great, innit? Here I am in this rec.humor group, I post something about frivolous Lars' use of the term "antiquote" (it sounds a bit like antichrist too - possibilities there, shirley?), and it sparks off a lively thread about ascii codes for assorted and largely indistinguishable punctuation marks. This is the way the world ends, boys and girls, not with a bang but an Alt key.

From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Welcome to Usenet Lite.

> > Now, ¹ is a quote. In fact it is a closing quote. Unless it's by itself in which case it's an apostrophe. Unfortunately I can't seem to generate the partner to ¹. Is only ¹ defined in ISO 8859-1? Strange although I can produce both ³ and ².

Just to fuzzify the muddification even more[1], on the terminal I'm currently using ¹ looks like some kind of plumber's T-pipe and ² looks like a swatch of carpeting. Maybe it's the "This Old House" character set? Though on the terminal I was reading this morning, they came out as the superscripts in Screwtape's original post. Can't we all just get along?

> Uh I don't know about anyone else but my monitor is showing all of those different thingies as being the same.

My newsreader shows them as an a-acute, a shaded block and a variety of runes. It adds a fitting touch of the surreal.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*-----*----*----Loadin' carets tilde mornin' come---


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Sat, 18 Sep 1999 14:40:38 +0959

Nol Smi schrieb:
>Isn`t it interesting how an argument about characters that are only used for the sake of creating arguments about these characters, generates more discussion in rhod than DMP's penis or Kim's supple breasts? What the hell just happened here?

The Old Ones have forsaken us. DMP and KaCee have disappeared, and the tits and todgers department have gone away to find somewhere more comfortable, and pretty much only the geek contingent is left to discuss the *really important* matters of life.

Besides, I think I've heard all the breast and penis jokes I'll ever hear, and I've never seen a punctuation/charset thread before.

Screwtape,
"The doctor walked in, sminking of gin" -- thanks to my Anonymous Benefactor.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: Richard.molerat.demon.co.uk (Richard Wilson)
Date: Sun, 19 Sep 99 08:56:18 GMT

thristianSPAMFREEZONE.atdot.org "Screwtape" writes:
> The Old Ones have forsaken us. DMP and KaCee have disappeared,

YKYHBPTRHODTLW ... the posters du jour start referring to young whipper-snappers like that as "the Old Ones". More proof, if needed, that the racial memory of Usenet extends back about three months at the most.

For the record, Tom and I have been around since at least 95, Ian probably longer, and Paul, Carla, Dave Hemming, Dmacks and Mpack a respectable year or two or three. Admiral Jota, who just made another of his lightning strikes before disappearing into limbo again, has been around since at least World War 2.

And there are probably others I've forgotten because at my age, young fella, the memory starts to go, y'know?

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*-Or were you measuring longevity in terms of bandwidth wasted?--

From: Al Sharka
Or are just forgettable due to lack of content.
Al "Sniff. Left out again." Sharka

From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Go on, Al. Tell us how long you've been here.

From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Oh, about 6 hours today.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: tph.acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 18:51:55 GMT

Richard Wilson wrote:
> thristianSPAMFREEZONE.atdot.org "Screwtape" writes:
>> The Old Ones have forsaken us. DMP and KaCee have disappeared,
>YKYHBPTRHODTLW ... the posters du jour start referring to young whipper-snappers like that as "the Old Ones". More proof, if needed, that the racial memory of Usenet extends back about three months at the most.

You know what they say about perpetual September, dontcha?

>For the record, Tom and I have been around since at least 95, Ian probably longer, and Paul, Carla, Dave Hemming, Dmacks and Mpack a respectable year or two or three. Admiral Jota, who just made another of his lightning strikes before disappearing into limbo again, has been around since at least World War 2.

Ian is the only one here who actually voted in the CFV that created this newsgroup, so he is officially the Old Man of RHOD. (BTW, he voted "no").

>And there are probably others I've forgotten because at my age, young fella, the memory starts to go, y'know?

I tell ya, these young punks today... I was posting to RHOD when most of 'em couldn't even spell "internet". And now some punk comes along and calls some other young punks the "old ones". Why, I oughta whack 'im with my cane....


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: dmacks.mail1.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 22 Sep 1999 18:34:37 GMT

Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net> said:
: tph.acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) said:
: > You know what they say about perpetual September, dontcha?
: That it's a vicious lie, spread by curmudgeonly unix hackers who don't believe that the internet only came into being when AOL shipped their first set of instant-access disks? </aol>

But but but...that was *way* before Al Gore invented the thing...

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies know a thing or two about history


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 08:25:19 +1000

Tom Tom Harrington wrote:
> Ian is the only one here who actually voted in the CFV that created this newsgroup, so he is officially the Old Man of RHOD. (BTW, he voted "no").

You swine. You utter, utter, bastard. OK, I ADMIT IT! I VOTED "NO," ALRIGHT? AND I'D DO IT AGAIN IN A MINUTE!!

It's funny how life works out. I voted no for two reasons: one, because I didn't understand the process properly (you should only vote no if you really think the group creation is wrong or harmful, not just because you disagree with the idea); and two, because I really didn't see the need for a group to discuss the oracularities. I thought it would become a collection of sore loser or self-congratulatory postings. What we really need is some sort of forum where the warped and twisted minds of those who participate in the Oracle can get together and bounce ideas off each other. In the quantum dance of the minuscule particles that are our minds, occasionally two will annihilate each other and produce the essence of pure perfect humor. That's the group we need. If only someone would create something like that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for my medication. I'm feeling much better these days, really I am. I didn't really mean that bit about voting "no" again. Honestly. Not the electrodes, please, no, not again...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: "GW De Lacey" <gdelacey.bigpond.com>
Date: Fri, 24 Sep 1999 00:47:13 +1000

<lee1089.kettering.edu> wrote:
>Tom Tom Harrington wrote:
> > <Insert joke about Aussies going both ways here>
> ok.
> Go not to Aussies for advice for they will say both yes and no.

I definitely don't think that's true.

GW De Lacey
Whose liver and white English springer spaniel is reminded of a recent trip in a marlin boat. Nary a bite, and we trolled for days.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
Date: Mon, 27 Sep 1999 06:50:25 GMT

Matthew Thomas <mpt26.student.canterbury.ac.nz> wrote:
>Matthew '"penis"? "breasts"? what are they?' Thomas

Two great tastes that taste great together?

No, wait, that's peanut butter and chocolate.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 11:29:53 -0600

<Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au> said:
> [1] Added bonus confusion: why is it when you look in the mirror that left and right are reversed but top and bottom are not?

Curiously, a mirror won't reverse 'before' and 'after', either.


From: dmacks.mail1.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
And "objects in the rear-view mirror are closer than they appear," but this operation is not reversible.
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wonder if they could build a teleporter out of mirrors


From: Ken and Alison Adams <kadams.surfree.com>
I've got one designed and half built[1], but I need some investors[2] to fund the rest of the prototype construction[3].

--
Ken Adams

[1] The user interface and control panel are done. Still need an actual mechanism.
[2] Disclaimer: This posting contains projections or other forward looking statements regarding future events or the future performance of the product. I would like to caution you that such statements are predictions only and that actual events or results may differ materially. I refer you to the documents that I file from time-to-time in the lining of my cat box, specifically my last filed Form 10-K and or Form 10-Q and the Certain Additional Business Risks section. These and other documents, which are not included in any home page, contain and identify important factors that could cause the actual results to differ materially from those contained in the company's projections or forward looking statements. Consult your astrologer before investing.
[3] I could use a good engineer. Anyone know how to keep the smoke inside a box?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: dmacks.mail1.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 17 Sep 1999 22:01:05 GMT

Nol Smi <nolan_s.my-deja.com> said:
: Ken and Alison Adams <kadams.surfree.com> wrote:
: > [3] I could use a good engineer. Anyone know how to keep the smoke inside a box?
: If you keep the smoke in the box, how can you be sure that it's there?

Because the 'puter still works?

: Nol "try it with a cat. People have been discussing it for years" Smi

And we can only know exactly what they're discussing *or* exactly how long they've been discussing it.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are took their car to the quantum mechanic


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: m.pack.... (Lurker Praps)
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 20:08:25 +0100

Also Sprach Ian Davis:
> [1] Added bonus confusion: why is it when you look in the mirror that left and right are reversed but top and bottom are not?

They are if you're pissed enough. Must try harder. 3/10


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: Corran Webster <cwebster.math.tamu.edu>
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 18:48:21 GMT

Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au wrote:
> [1] Added bonus confusion: why is it when you look in the mirror that left and right are reversed but top and bottom are not?

But they are! To have that orientation of left and right, you'd have to be standing on your head. The fact that the image in the mirror is standing on its feet means that it is, in fact, upside down.

Corran
(who has stood between two mirrors and seen the infinite donut road)


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: Corran Webster <corranw.my-deja.com>
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 06:58:30 GMT

Al Sharka wrote:
> OK, now explain why the image wasn't reversed front-to back.

Aha! But they were! To keep that orientation of left and right, _and_ that orientation of up and down, the image in the mirror would have to be facing the same direction as you, but they're not, so clearly they're also back-to-front as well.

> And were those two mirrors thicker at the bottom after standing around awhile?

After eating an infinite number of donuts? You betcha!

Corran
(who is taking semidirect products with Z_2)


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: tph.acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 22:36:13 GMT

>Corran
>(who has stood between two mirrors and seen the infinite donut road)

Wow. I've stood before two mirrors, and all I can say is that if it was the donut road I was seeing, it was a pretty lousy section that I was on. If there were, in fact, donut shops (I couldn't see any), then they were closed. All I could see was infinite me, so I think it must have been the Me Road instead of the Donut Road.

That rather throws a wrench into the idea that you can use donut shops as transport stations-- what if all the shops are closed on your part of the road? You'd have no choice but to walk down the road looking for an open shop, and only a 50-50 chance of walking toward better donuts...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: verslag vergadering CD
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 1999 12:23:55 -0500

Ken Harlan wrote:
> IIRC, the article said that a mirror does not reverse left and right, but it reverses in and out. HTH. HAND.

No wonder people have mirrors on their bedroom ceilings.

Al "So I've heard, anyway." Sharka


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: I'm back, sorta
From: brightredfish.mindspring.com (Paul)
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 12:36:56 GMT

Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com> wrote:
>Paul wrote:
>} Al Sharka attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>} >Paul wrote:
>} >> I'm innocent I tell you! I was framed! And sold at auction (but that's another story.)
>} >Was it one of those charity auctions where hundreds of beautiful desparate women bid for your services, and then whoever had the highest bid gets to have anything she wants for 24 hours?
>} >I'm sure that we'd all like to hear that story, Paul. I'm sure that at least one of them must have wanted more than a good night's sleep alone. Err...allegedly, of course.
>} You know, Al, when your fantasy life starts intruding upon your everyday existence, it's time to get a better everyday existence.
>Yeah, it's tough being married.
>-- Al "with children" Bundy

Oh, you'll have plenty of excitement soon enough. As your kids get older, you'll be so busy worrying about THEIR sexual activities that yours will be completely forgotten.

Give me nightmares about scaly reeking dragons, vampires, and student loan collectors chasing me through dungeons for all eternity. Just take away the nightmare about the boy picking up my darling little girl for prom. *Shudder*


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: I'm back, sorta
From: "Drew Gillmore" <d_gillmore.hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 00:27:43 -0500

Charles A. Lieberman <yvrorezn.voicenet.com> wrote:
: Al Sharka wrote:
: > Was it one of those charity auctions where hundreds of beautiful desparate women bid for your services, and then whoever had the highest bid gets to have anything she wants for 24 hours?
: I once considered participating in a bachelor auction, but then I realized they wanted to *raise* money...

Hey! I once paid this nice lady to hang out with me and do what I wanted for a twenty-four...hour...peri...

Oh, we're talking about auctions.

Boy is my face red.

My bad.


From: cgreuter.calum.csclub.uwaterloo.ca (Chris Reuter)
But did she finish painting the house?
--Chris "Shecky" Reuter


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: YASOS: Oracularities Order
From: bj435.FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Matt Kerbel)
Date: 19 Sep 1999 21:46:11 GMT

Tom "Tom" Harrington (tph.acm.org) writes:
> Matt Kerbel wrote:
>>Richard Fitzpatrick (ossipewsk.your.fingercheerful.com) writes:
>>> Matt said ages ago:
>>>>--Matt "the supplicant is curious" Kerbel
>>> Curious, hell! You're just plain weird.
>>HEY!!!
>>Who're you calling "plain"?
> OK, Matt, you're weird with mustard. Better?

How did you kn...I mean, that's funny, Tom...heh heh.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In search of Screwtape
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 19:15:49 +1100

Mike Jewell schrieb:
>> I know a clown in Ringling Bros. that cold probably twist it into a poodle.
>That poodle must have a very strange anal tract... Either that, or Screwtape has a very strangely shaped member...

Evil person. You nearly got me, too. But I've seen enough rhod to know that even though I have no recollection of participating in this thread, the answer "How do I come into this?" would not be a good followup to the above post.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Ascii Wars..
From: hetta.saunalahti.fi (Henriette Kress)
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 05:47:36 GMT

m.pack....(Lurker Praps) wrote:
>Also Sprach Lars Clausen:
>> ossipewsk.your.fingercheerful.com:
>> > Mr Pcak wrote:
>> >>Lars Clausen wrote:
>> >>> I see your difference between quotes and [censored] imperial unit signs,
>> >>But you forgot to raise him the difference between a duck. Damned amateur poker cascaders.
>> > Yabbut, it might keep Nathan away longer. I see your diffidence with a puck and raise you a dissonance with a quoit.
>> Nah, it'll never work. He's too smart for that. But in the meanwhile, I see your disturbance in the quilt and raise you a traumatized bedsheet.
>Seems I have no choice but to see your rubberised bath-mat and raise you a vulcanised shower curtain.

Hey! _LEGGO_ of that!

... sheesh, a gal can't even take a shower around here.

Henriette (now where's the soap?)


From: Nathan Sullivan <alfonso.pants.nu>
> ... sheesh, a gal can't even take a shower around here.

Sure you can. Here, why don't you use mine? Disregard the small camera-sized hole in the ceiling; we have rats. Voracious little buggers, they are. If you hear any odd whirring noises up there in the ceiling, it's probably them, so just try to ignore it. Well, have fun.

--Nathan "EBay, here I come!" Sullivan


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 19:40:32 -0600

dmacks.mail1.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) said:
> Lars Clausen <lrclause.cs.uiuc.edu> said:
> : asharka.my-deja.com wrote:
> : > Point your browser to keirsey.com and take the test.
> : > I'll start. My profile came out as ISTP--Introverted, Sensation, Thinking, Perception, or as Keirsey puts it: Attentive, Observation, Tough-minded, Probing. This labels me as Artisan, varient: Crafter. It's almost enough to make you feel good about yourself.
> : I suppose it's the one at <URL:http://keirsey.com/cgi-bin/keirsey/kcs.cgi> you're talking about. It puts me at INTP, one of the typical hacker types (along with INTJ). Pegs me as a Rational Architect.
> AOL on all counts.

You too?!? Me too!!! I thought we were supposed to be rare! Maybe that was an expressed desire rather than a stated fact.

Actually I had a hard time not reverse-engineering the test, to shoot for the most desirable outcome. But I couldn't find a personality-type that I wanted to be, they all sucked, although they very carefully said so in a positive way.

From: brightredfish.mindspring.com (Paul)
ROTFLOL! This is, if anything, a testimony to the validity of the test. The personality description should include, "along with a tendency to make failed attempts at reverse-engineering personality tests."

I ended up with INTJ. "Rational Mastermind." I wanted "Evil Overlord," but they didn't provide an opportunity for me to smash any bunny heads. Foiled again!

Kevin "I'd rather be martian" Kelley


From: dmacks.mail1.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 21 Sep 1999 16:16:17 GMT

Kimberly Chapman <kacee.outer-net.com> said:
: Tim Chew wrote in message ...
: >The fingers of Kevin Kelley did thusly type:
: >>You too?!? Me too!!! I thought we were supposed to be rare! Maybe that was an expressed desire rather than a stated fact.
: >INTPs of the world unite! We could wrest control from those freakish, outgoing, touchy-feely types.
: You just try, little man. Face it: you're too introverted to come and wrestle me for it. My breasts and outspokenness intimidate you.

From: twchew.raspberry.mindspring.com (Tim Chew)
Damn, she may be right. But that's why we've got... the Covert Committee. If anyone should like to join the Covert Committee, just bury ten thousand dollars in gold bullion in your back yard, and we'll contact you.

That'd be your outpokenness, no?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are double-convex


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: <lee1089.kettering.edu>
Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 19:23:48 -0400

Kimberly Chapman wrote:
> Nathan Sullivan wrote:
> >"Kimberly Chapman" <kacee.outer-net.com> writes:
> >> You just try, little man. Face it: you're too introverted to come and wrestle me for it. My breasts and outspokenness intimidate you. Bwahahahahaha!
> >I would think your breasts make for a good incentive to wrestle you.
> You'd think...or you'd try to think, but by then you'd be a drooling idiot posting to rhod instead of getting laid. Whoops, too late.
> >--Nathan "Until I get distracted by their hypnotic bounci........" Sullivan
> Muahahaha.
> -- Kimberly "I can fondle myself anytime I want to...mmmmmm...oh yeah...mmmmm" Chapman

Oh yeah, Oh YEAH, well, well... so can I.

I guess that just didn't have the effect I was going for.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: dmacks.mail2.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 24 Sep 1999 04:58:21 GMT

Kimberly Chapman <kacee.outer-net.com> said:
: Daniel E. Macks wrote:
: >I remember being almost in tears once as a child because I couldn't figure out how to make a snow angel without leaving trails of footprints to it.
: I never got that upset about it, but it certainly remains one of life's great mysteries. I did once go to the effort of walking away but then carrying snow from elsewhere in the backyard to fill up my footprints.
: -- Kimberly "do guys give their snow angels yellow halos? I would if I could" Chapman

You've just solved it! Whilst adding the halo, use the jet action to make a footprint-free get-away....

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can make, milligram for milligram, the largest hour hand on a snow sun-dial of any creature in the universe


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Tue, 28 Sep 1999 19:19:00 -0600

"Kimberly Chapman" <kacee.outer-net.com> said:
> Tigress of Tigris wrote:
> >Cyn "Okay, I lied. The BQDG didn't have anything to do with my order...I just want to see some butt" Grant
> I don't. Butts do nothing for me, really. They can be amusing, but hardly sexy.
> -- Kimberly "for heaven's sake, POO comes outta there!" Chapman

After the hot fries I had yesterday, it feels more like tigger.


Kevin "get outta my ass, christopher robin!" Kelley


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: emooney.SPAMFILTERattila.stevens-tech.edu (Erik Mooney)
Date: Tue, 28 Sep 1999 01:12:02 -0400

>Ok. Final scores (as of terminal thread drift):
>iNTp Architects:
>Lars, Daniel, Lee, Kevin, HRH Prince Tim, Corran, and me.
>iNTj Masterminds:
>Paul, Screwtape, Jason, Nol, Henriette, and Drew.
>So, my team will work out how to restructure the world, Paul's team will organise it, and we'll have the BQDG as 'Big Sister' telling everyone what to do.

And I was ISTJ Inspector. Well, you gotta do a lot of work to bring this here world up to code. Tsk, tsk... no running water for the tenants in Northern Africa or Arizona, the residents up over here north of these lakes are constantly bothering our bureau about their lack of heat, and we've tallied 741,809,143 violations of the no pets ordinance. You've got 30 days to comply, mister, or we'll have to bring you into court.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: cclovis.mindspringnospam.com (Cici in Texas)
Date: Wed, 29 Sep 1999 12:17:14 GMT

<lee1089.kettering.edu> tapped out:
> Tom Tom Harrington wrote:
>> lee1089.kettering.edu wrote:
>> > Tom Tom Harrington wrote:
>> >> Cici in Texas wrote:
>> >> >Cici <strangers are only friends I haven't met yet> in Texas
>> >> "There are no strangers in Texas, only friends you haven't met yet."
>> >> "Along with a variety of idiots and losers you'd never want near you."
>> >> "And George W. Bush".
>> >Don't worry, it doesn't look like he'll be there much longer. Unless Gore magically develops a personality.
>> THAT is the part that worries me. I'd prefer if he were to be kidnapped by DMP and forcibly pierced in many ways, preferably ones that would prevent him from being elected.
>Well, he can't be any worse that his father was.

And at least he gives every indication of being able to speak in complete sentences.

>Of course, it does make the Presidency start to look more like a patriarchal kingship-type thingy.

A lot of us down thisaway are already so sick of the whole thing that we're just wondering why we can't crown him King George and be done with the whole thing. It would save a whole LOT of money, for one thing.

And it would virtually guarantee that Clinton would go down in history as 'The President Between The Bushes.'

Cici <which seems rather appropriate, don't you think?> in Texas


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Sun, 19 Sep 1999 11:41:27 -0600

Matthew Thomas <mpt26.student.canterbury.ac.nz> said:
> Screwtape wrote:
> > Al Sharka schrieb:
> > > Ah, well. A meme is a meme is a meme.
> > Sticks and stones may break my bones, but memes will never hurt me?
> A meme by any other name would spread as fast.

A mime by any other mime would lead to a really entertaining but quiet struggle, which would end with one mime on his back, feet in air and clutching a flower, while the other is duck-marched by an invisible policeman back to his glass box prison.

> > > > Screwtape,
> > > > *waves hands indicating hand waving*
> > > Al,
> > > *waves hands indicating dismissal*
> > Screwtape,
> > *waves hands indicating "bunny go hop hop"*
> *waves hands indicating a relevantly-paraphrased quote*

Kevin,
waves hands indicating... *expression of pain as hand accidentally thumps glass box*, *cradles injured hand and dejectedly curls up in corner*


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: "Drew Gillmore" <d_gillmore.hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 23:28:09 -0500

Dave Hemming <surfbaud.waverider.co.uk.allyourclothes> wrote:
: "Drew Gillmore" <d_gillmore.hotmail.com> wrote:
: >Dave Hemming wrote:
: >: >Drew Gillmore wrote:
: >: There needs to be a term for that sense of dislocation when encountering a familiar name from one group in another. Netlash? The Wibble Factor? Deja V- no, wait, that one's taken.
: >I vote for "The Wibble Factor". It's just all that and a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
: Careful - the gullible might be led to believe their are such things as edible Doritos.

Well, yeah. That's why they're called "gullible".

<snip>
: >: God knows what that all means. Apparently my Role Models should be Johnny Carson and Barbara Streisand. O Sweet Lord, have mercy...
: >That's it! You need to start your own talk show and then be your own guest.
: Call me old-fashioned, but don't you have to have done something, often to a loved one, to be a talkshow guest?
: "So, Dave, how was work today?"
: "Same as always, I guess."
: "..."

On the next Montel: Average People From The UK And Their Lack Of Dysfunctions.

You're right. That probably wouldn't fly.

Would you consider sleeping with a former Chippendale who had a sex change? For posterity, of course. Call it a philanthropic venture for the good of daytime tv watchers worldwide.

: >: Dave (And I got 8/10 for introverted! I need to buy more black clothes.)
: >Be sure and keep the bright red and neon parachute pants for those two out of ten occasions, though.
: It's the tightness of the crotch that drives the chiquitas wild, you know.

You gotta be careful with those bananas and tight pants, Dave.

Remember, one bunch at a time.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 10:48:42 -0400

On Wed, 22 Sep 1999, Dave Hemming wrote:
[snip]
> "Assume a perfectly toroidal bagel."
> "Oh my god - at last a man who can satisfy my twin needs of baking and theoretical physics! Well, apart from all those Infinite Doughnut Road freaks, obviously[1]. Ooh, describe a solution to Russell's Paradox on my naked body with your tongue, big boy!"
> Happens more often than you might think.

Where? In Ottawa? I need an address!!

JIM, what is this "desparation" of which you speak?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: "Drew Gillmore" <d_gillmore.hotmail.com>
Date: Sun, 19 Sep 1999 23:19:52 -0500

Tom "Tom" Harrington <tph.acm.org> wrote:
: Dave Hemming wrote:
: >My Temperament is Artisan : SP
: >My variant temperament is Composer : ISFP
: Me too. Previously it's been INFP, and looking at today's score I'm pretty close to the border between the two.
: >God knows what that all means. Apparently my Role Models should be Johnny Carson and Barbara Streisand. O Sweet Lord, have mercy...
: Yes, I think this was the most frightening bit of the whole thing. Barbara Fucking Streisand. I may have to shoot myself.

I don't know...I think there's quite a bit of money to be made in that visual.

Don't give up hope too quick. Remember, you could have always scored as a NT Fieldmarshall and have Bill Gates and Margaret Thatcher as your role models.

: >Dave (And I got 8/10 for introverted! I need to buy more black clothes.)
: I got 10/10 on that one, which is higher than even I would have guessed.

You realize that by posting to any forum whatsoever you're creating a local space time paradox that will consequently open a small paradox black hole big enough to suck one half of all your socks into another dimension, don't you?

These personality tests need to be taken a little more seriously. Go be artsy and compose something and one day you may be elevated to Saint "Tom", patron Saint of lost socks.

Of course, being an extreme introvert, you can neither share your artistic masterpiece nor tell anyone bout your saintly mission, or we're back to where we started.

The other option is to invest in Haines tube Socks.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 19:20:32 +1100

Tom "Tom" Harrington schrieb:
>Yes, I think this was the most frightening bit of the whole thing. Barbara Fucking Streisand. I may have to shoot myself.

And Barry Humphries sleeps with Dame Edna Everage.

Screwtape,
Wondering if he's beeing too aussie-centric.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: "Drew Gillmore" <d_gillmore.hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 22:24:38 -0500

Kimberly Chapman <kacee.outer-net.com> wrote:
: Drew Gillmore wrote:
: >Kimberly Chapman <kacee.outer-net.com> wrote:
: >: Coooooooool...a blashpeming egoist. He can stay.
: >Once upon a time I was a humble devout, but then I realized that they don't get any of the chicks.
: Chicken fucker!!!

I would prefer it if you would just cry "FOWL!" and be done with it.

Long drawn out sqwaking about it only henpecks me.

: >You speak of my love like you have experienced love like mine before.
: Pah. You don't love me. You fear me. Which is wayyyyyy cooler.

Fear you? I live with Satan the Cat and Jesus the Dog who have Ultimate Battles of Good and Evil in my living room, and I "fear" you?

I have faced down the terror that is the California DMV, spent a night in jail with my honor intact, and dated three girls named "Jen", and I should "fear" _you_?

For crying out loud, I was engaged to be _married_!

No my dear, it takes a lot more than an extrovert with breasts to ruffle my feathers.

Like a _limber_ extrovert with breasts.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 17:27:39 +1000

Drew Gillmore wrote:
> No my dear, it takes a lot more than an extrovert with breasts to ruffle my feathers.
> Like a _limber_ extrovert with breasts.

Oo! Oo! A challenge to the BQDGerbil! This will be fun to watch.

Ian.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 19:00:52 -0600

Lars Clausen <lrclause.cs.uiuc.edu> said:
> ben.fisher.spam.buster.intel.com wrote:
> > That's nothin. I *AM* married. With one kid.
> You're married with a kid? I thought that was illegal. Or do they have special rules about that at Intel?

Heh. I don't know about Intel, but apparently Infoseek had its little pocket of unaccountability... Y'all heard that news flash, right, about the Infoseek VP getting in trouble for crossing state lines to initiate sex with a minor?

Me, I want a job where they bring the virgins to me. Saves all that travel. Hell with the cappuccino machines and the on-premise massages, if you want my skills you'll sacrifice a virgin now and then! The recruiters don't seem to respond well to that, though.

Kevin "I was in love with a 13-year-old FBI agent, until I met Bubba" Kelley


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: m.pack.... (Lurker Praps)
Date: Sat, 25 Sep 1999 19:02:49 +0100

Kimberly Chapman wrote:
> So unless a valid reason comes up to prevent it, I'm having my kids at home too.

Insanity. After 18 years you'll be begging them to leave. Enjoy what may be your last B&B for a decade.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Mon, 27 Sep 1999 00:03:46 +1100

Lurker Praps schrieb:
>Also Sprach Screwtape:
>> Wholly, wholly holey?
>Please raise yourself on your toes when you say that.

Well, I would, but my socks are wholly holey.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: <lee1089.kettering.edu>
Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 19:15:14 -0400

Kimberly Chapman wrote:
> Drew Gillmore wrote in message
> >Kimberly Chapman <kacee.outer-net.com> wrote:
> >: Coooooooool...a blashpeming egoist. He can stay.
> >Once upon a time I was a humble devout, but then I realized that they don't get any of the chicks.
> Chicken fucker!!!

Dood! Don't say chicken fucker in front of Jesus!


From: tph.acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
I see no Jesus here.

From: Lars Clausen <lrclause.cs.uiuc.edu>
MOVE STONE

From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
The stone rolls ponderously away from the mouth of the tomb. You enter, followed closely by Mary Magdalene, Mary mother of James, and various other Maries. There is a bier, with a shroud draped over it. I see no Jesus here.
Kevin "somebody's pinched our lord and savior! ooh, you lot!" Kelley

From: <lee1089.kettering.edu>
LOOK MARY

From: Lars Clausen <lrclause.cs.uiuc.edu>
Mary's eyes are red from weeping. So are Mary's, Mary's and Mary's. I really wish they were a bit more imaginative with their names. Now that you look at them, you find that Mary is actually look really hot. No, not that Mary, the other, no, not that one either. Geez, you're hopeless.

From: hetta.saunalahti.fi (Henriette Kress)
DRINK BIER

From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Popping the top of a really excellent german brew, you pause to wonder who could possibly have taken your jesus. As you raise the can to your lips, it suddenly begins foaming -- in fact, it's spewing froth everywhere, and the foam collects to form the shape of a man you last saw being carried away from a cross. "Don't drink that," Jesus tells you. "I turned my body into beer, to hide. I guess with all you thirsty beggars around it wasn't such a good idea. Never mind; just stay out of my can until Octoberfest, I have something planned."

Giving you a wet noogie to show his displeasure at your ruining his surprise, the jesus froth dissolves back into the can, which seals again.

You are somewhat disappointed; frankly, you'd rather have had the beer than the visitation from your lord and savior.

You are holding a magical can of jesus beer. Your score is 50 of a possible 666. I see no jesus here.

From: dmacks.mail2.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
SHAKE CAN

From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
You give your best impression of a nightclub gigolo; the Maries titter and giggle. One of them pinches you.

SHAKE MAGICAL CAN OF JESUS BEER YOU MORON

You always were huffy, Simon Peter.

You give the can a vigorous shake and it explodes, soaking the walls of the crypt with tasty jesus foam. Jesus gathers himself together and proceeds to thrash you; he then leaves, muttering "asshole." All the Maries follow him, and the guards roll the stone across the entrance to the tomb.

You are trapped, bloody and bruised, in the darkening crypt.


From: Cici in Texas <cclovis.mindspringnospam.com>
>LOOK MARY
Mary says, "Hey, mister? What did you do with him? Give him back, RIGHT NOW!"
I see no Jesus here.

From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
EXAMINE SHROUD
Apparently Jesus didn't bother with a bath before his big day; the shroud is damp and stinks of stale sweat. You realize that if you hung on to it for a few years, it might make a good souvenir.

> Cici <tune in next week, when Mary gets a big surprise!> in Texas

I thought Mary's Big Surprise came along some 33 years ago. Err... sorry, wrong Mary.


From: Nol Smi <nolan_s.my-deja.com>
>MOVE STONE
There is a cave of the sort that is dark, and a foul stench.

From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
You see by smoky torchlight some well-chewed toothbrushes, some tiling badly in need of new grouting, and written in tiny print in ancient Hebrew on the bottom of the toilet door, "Beware of limbo dancers."


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: m.pack....(Lurker Praps)
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 06:46:05 +0100

Also Sprach Lars Clausen:
> To really be a beer snob, you'd have to sample at least 30 beers in each of Britain, Belgium and Germany. Then you can talk.

...albeit rather incoherently, with most sentences being a variation of "You're my besht mate, you are. No, really. I really love you, man."


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: Kevin Kelley <kelley.ruralnet.net>
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 11:46:34 -0600

"Drew Gillmore" <d_gillmore.hotmail.com> said:
> Getting beaten up isn't so bad. It's the part where they take my money and then make me go buy Budweiser for them that's just downright humiliating.

Fifth-graders are a lot meaner now than when I was in school.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: "Drew Gillmore" <d_gillmore.hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 23:03:36 -0500

Kimberly Chapman <kacee.outer-net.com> wrote:
: Drew Gillmore wrote:
: >Kimberly Chapman <kacee.outer-net.com> wrote:
<snip>
: >That wasn't even enough to slightly toast my bagel so the cream cheese melts ever so slightly and runs down the crooked cut so that I get it all over my fingers and have to lick it off.
: No no no, dear, the image of you licking your fingers does nothing for me. However, if I were to slowly, sensuously lick my fingers in front of the rhod boys, gently rolling the tip of my adept tongue around the end, plunging down upon it hungrily and then sucking slowwwwwly upwards, using my teeth ever so very gently on the underside...that might cause some consternation.

Hmm.

Nary a twinge in my twinger.

Try this: Ever so slowly peel a banana and then slowly run your tongue down one side of it and then back up the underside, and twirl it around the top a couple of times, then gently kiss the tip, allowing your hot breath to caress it ever so rapterously, and then gently circle the base of the banana with one finger and your thumb and lightly run them slowly up while you nibble the end letting your lips hint at contact. Then slowly take the end in your mouth, running your tongue back and forth across the underside while your hand begins back down, allowing more fingers to contact the firm roundness. Let your strokes grow a little more firm, while you tease the top with kisses and tonguing. Then pour some hot fudge over the top, smearing it around with your fingers, gently massaging it in before you sensuously begin to remove it with light kisses. Taking the banana with both hands slowly twist them up and down while you run your mouth up and down the banana, taking it deeper and deeper into your mouth. And then, only when the timing is right, take a nice couple of inches off the end with your teeth.

That would get a reaction.

: >Why I even feel a slight chill in the air, making my nipples ever so slightly perky.
: Your nipples? YOUR nipples? Hah! Why, right now my luscious nipples are rubbing ever so gently on the inside of my fleecy shirt...just enough to make them semi-hard, but not enough to truly tantalize. And they're only two measley little plastic buttons away from being exposed to the cool night air and turning quite hard indeed.

Oh yeah?! Well _my_ nipples are currently covered in whipped cream.

Topped with strategically positioned maracino cherries.

: >: So Drew...I see by your webpage you're more of the Carey kind than the Barrymore sort.
: >Yeah, 'cept I could wish to be the Barrymore sort. It would make showering a whole lot more interesting.
: If you were Drew Barrymore, I would totally sleep with you. I LIKE her.
: Mmmmmmmm...Ever After....mmmmmmmmm...

Yeah, well if you were Drew Barrymore, I would totally sleep with you, too.

At least we have that in common.

: >: And my my, what a cutie in those pics...
: >Flattery, my dear, will get you tied up and gagged in the bedroom with the floor covered in various implements divided up into three sections, the ones that go in you, the ones that go in me, and the ones that go in both of us.
: *yawn*
: You'll have to do WAY better than that, Drewiepooie. I'm not even the least bit horny.

No thanks, I think I'm done.

Anyone got a towel?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: "Kimberly Chapman" <kacee.outer-net.com>
Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 21:11:32 GMT

Screwtape wrote in message ...
>>Hmm.
>>Nary a twinge in my twinger.
>Ooh. He's standing up to the BQDG. I *like* this guy.

Me too. A male rhodite with solid balls...this could be a nice change.

*KaCee sharpens her pool cue.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: "Drew Gillmore" <d_gillmore.hotmail.com>
Date: Mon, 27 Sep 1999 18:59:41 -0500

Kimberly Chapman <kacee.outer-net.com> wrote:
: Drew Gillmore wrote:
: >: >You want to play with my balls? Fill the voids with them, sweetie.
: >: <deadpan>
: >: Oh baby, fill my void.
: >: </>
: >Oh come on now! I can't very well do all the work here! Cooperation is vital! Now use the monkey bars like I showed you and show a little enthusiasm or I demand a discount!
: Oh sure...now that it's public you pretend like you didn't ask me to pretend to be Steven Wright for you. Sheesh, you're a fickle thing.

Yes, well I have to get your animation level up _somehow_.

: >: I imagine half of rhod gasped at the "sweetie" bit and are all anxiously awaiting me doing something horrible to you.
: >I imagine half of rhod naked and glistening with vanilla scented massage oil.
: You clearly haven't seen pictures of enough rhodites.

Hmm. No. And I'd like to keep my little happy place intact for a little while longer, thank you very much.

<pointed stick>
: >Mm. Yes, I see. As long as this doesn't turn into an attempt to turn me into Drew-ka-bob, as I'm inclined to prefer to do the skewering, (not male machismo, just the way I work you understand) then you can play with your pointy stick however you like.
: Well it'd only be turning you into a kabob if I added veggies and maybe some kind of marinade.
: Hmmm.
: Hey all, shall we add kabobs to the barbeque?

I think they all started without you. I've already been marinated in beer and oregeno.

And hey, for any Jews out there, there _are_ parts of me that are Kosher.

: >: >Ah, what the hell.
: >: >Remember, "stroke", not "poke".
: >: Howabout *whap*?
: >Ooooh, you sweet-talker, you.
: You know it, coolermeat.

You know, the cooler reference was curious at first, amusing at second and a little shocking after I found out what it was all about.

Well, not all that shocking really, it kind of just raised the level of amusement just a bit.

Nevertheless.

Now I just sit and think "That's some cool shit you got there, but shouldn't somebody have _cleaned_ that sucker by now?"

On thinking of this, I can only imagine that there would be a reasonable explanation for why it remains in it's...befouled condition.

So I've come up with a couple of ways to remedy the situation.

1) Nuke it from orbit.
2) Close it up and seal it, label it as a time capsule and bury it.
3) Mail it to Australia. They'll think it's vegamite.
4) Fill it full of rocks and dump it in the deepest part of the ocean.
5) Launch it into the sun

And, I would prefer if you did all these things _without_ shoving me inside first.

Hope that helps, people.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Keirsey temperment sorter
From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
Date: Tue, 28 Sep 1999 11:53:43 +1000

Drew Gillmore wrote:
> Now I just sit and think "That's some cool shit you got there, but shouldn't somebody have _cleaned_ that sucker by now?"
...
> 3) Mail it to Australia. They'll think it's vegemite.

Memo to OzSepticDom: They're onto us. The timeline for the Twisties subteam will now need to be brought forward.

IDD
Divisional Head
CondimentOps.



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