Jump to Navigation

We've moved! The new address is http://www.henriettes-herb.com - update your links and bookmarks!

2001 02 a.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Yeesh
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Sat, 3 Feb 2001 03:03:49 +0000

Ben Fisher schrieb:
>Robot Karate Man wrote:
>> Who built a rigging in RHOD??
>You mean, on top of everything else, this RHOD is rigged?

On Australia Day (not "Australian Day", as one Cananadian tourist yelled happily at all passers-by), there was a Tall Ship race in Sydney harbour. Apparently a few days before, one of the inmates at my father's place of employment decried said race, saying "Those races are always rigged" - not even intending to be funny. Nobody else there got the joke either, and so my father had to stifle his laughter into his cheese sandwich...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Is there a doctor in the house?
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 2 Feb 2001 17:50:13 GMT

Lane Gray, Czar Castic <cgraytwo.kc.rr.com> said:
> Gordol said:
>> Have you ever cut yourself with cheddar cheese?
>Must...resist....must....
>Whew, that was close.

Ya mean making some joke about "sharp cheddar"? Yeah, I think I won't make it either. Anyone?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies hope this is all now a feta compli


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Auntie Ora?
From: TechnoAtheist <TechnoAtheist.SpamIsBad.email.com>
Date: Thu, 01 Feb 2001 18:41:43 -0800

A group of blind monkeys claiming to be st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
>Henriette Kress schrieb:
>>TechnoAtheist <TechnoAtheist.SpamIsBad.email.com> wrote:
>>>>>>I just regret that none of us ever got to feel the whole elephant (as it were) until now.
>>>You mean that an elephant is long like a snake, thick like a tree, flat like a barn, bushy like a brush, or squishy and smells bad?
>>It's a snake. No a rope. Nah, it's a wall. No, it's a fan. No, it's a pillar.
>>That's five. Should be six, no?
>Dessert wax? Floor topping?

Well if you think Snake, Fan, Wall, Pillar, Rope, the soft and squishy makes more sense.

Mind your shoes.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Internet Oracularities Digest #1204
From: pieceoftheuniverse.yahoo.com (pieceoftheuniverse)
Date: Thu, 01 Feb 2001 21:30:44 GMT

rec.humor.oracle.d is indeed a crazy place, and Screwtape proves it:
>oracle-request.cs.indiana.edu schrieb:
>>Selected-By: "BJ" <km4rb.tampabay.rr.com>
>Ooooh, newbie-rhodite. :)

You folks actually pay attention to who the priests are? Why? Are you trying to learn their selection styles so you can cater to them?

>>The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
>>Your question was:
>>> Oracle most wise, please tell me why it is that after I've found enough inner peace to actually do some work on my final papers, I suddenly fall in love with the most beautiful girl on the world ...
>>And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
><snip>
>Mein lieben, that happened to *me*. Should I start a support group?

Well, according to the Oracle, no one would join because they wouldn't know about it until after the fact. So instead of being any sort of intervention (i.e., stop yourself from falling in love in college/school before it's too late), it would have to be a pity party (i.e., we're a bunch of sops who could never master the art of -not- falling in love in college/school before it was too late).

Ah, what the hell. That's practically AA in and of itself. Sign me up.

--
pieceoftheuniverse - wondering what the twelve steps would be, and if there are any sort of punishments for getting off "the wagon."


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Internet Oracularities Digest #1204
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Sat, 3 Feb 2001 02:04:41 +0000

Richard Fitzpatrick schrieb:
>BJ wrote ...
>> Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
>>>ST is just trying to suck up...
>>And it worked exceptionally well....
>You, you, you clean-bum[1], you!
>[1] Well, isn't that a logical name for the object of a brown-noser's attentions?

I object to the appelation "brown-nose"! I merely happen to have an excessive suntan, that is all!

Screwtape,
...falling face-first in the mud didn't help, either.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Feedback to an Oracle Priest!
From: Michael A. Atkinson <chaos.suespammers.org>
Date: 2 Feb 2001 19:09:04 GMT

Robot Karate Man <HeySteveo.steveo.cjb.net> wrote:
>I like cookies. Did you bring cookies?

You bet! Here's one:

LAST_USER
truechaos
avantgo.com/
0
2180670848
30089612
3763445216
29354854
*


Let me know if you want any more.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Feedback to an Oracle Priest!
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: Fri, 02 Feb 2001 17:13:08 -0600

Michael A. Atkinson wrote:
> Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Mike Atkinson, Oracle Priest.
> There. Now you know about me. Now tell me about you. If there's anything you want to tell me, or want me to tell the Priesthood as a whole, go nuts. What's on your mind?

OK, I'll bite. If you haven't read this already, read section 3. You know...the number that comes after section 11.

http://www.henriettesherbal.com/rhod/info.html

It's all we have gathered about the secret stuff. (And by we, I mean Hetta.)

Did we get any of it wrong? How much aren't you telling us? How does one become a Priest, anyway? How many pictures of Brittany Spears *do* you have on that hard drive? Surely there's more than *one* inflatable sheep. (OK, that last was actually rhetorical.)

"There. That'll keep 'im going a while."

"He'll never tell. He's a *Priest*, remember?"

"Aw, no. He's new here. Maybe we can fool 'im."

"Yeah maybe. Ten years, his mind must be like Reagan's."

"Well, then he'll have forgotten already."

"Shhh! He's only a model!"

They're Priests of the Round Temple.
They prance whene'er they're ample.
They do deletes and wholesale bleats
With shears they are impeccable.
They read well here in Templelot.
They get ham and jam and spam a lot.

[dancing]
They're Priests of the Round Temple.
Their armor is unbreakable,
But many times they're given rhymes
That are quite unparsable.
They're kowtow mad in Templelot.
They grovel from the floor a lot.

Rhodites: [tap-dancing]
With questions quite unstable,
Quite indefatigable.
Between our mots we work on bots and impersonate Betty Grable.
It's a busy life in Templelot.

MAN: I have to push the queue a lot.

[outdoors]
Well, on second thought, let's not go into the Priesthood. It is a silly place.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Feedback to an Oracle Priest!
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Fri, 02 Feb 2001 22:32:58 -0500

Comrade Michael A. Atkinson wrote:
> Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Mike Atkinson, Oracle Priest.

Hi Mike Atkinson, Oracle Priest!

> Last Tuesday I celebrated my tenth anniversary as an Oracle Priest. More accurately, I figured out yesterday that I should have celebrated my tenth anniversary on Tuesday.

Congratulations! I didn't know Orrie'd been going that long... yikes, time flies.

> I haven't read RHOD for some years. Among the currently active Priests, the average rating of the Oracularities I choose is third from the bottom.

See, there's clearly a correlation. If you spent more time in rhod, you'd be more inured to unfunny material.

I'm here to change all that. It's your lucky day, Comrade Mike.

> I don't feel too bad about that, though, because the difference between the bottom and the top rating is .25 on the 5 scale used to rate them. That's a 5% difference.

That's a hazard of such a long run. After ten years, everyone's pretty close to the theoretical average.

How to change that? Change the scoring system EVERY DIGEST! In 1205 it's a 1 to 10 scale, in 1206 it's letter grades, in 1207 it's the Beaufort scale... pretty soon nobody will know exactly how they're voting! The true votes will once again range far and wide, and cease to cluster near that pesky 3.0 mark.

Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I was a ballot design consultant in Florida.

> When my Priestly pay doesn't quite cover expenses, I've been known to do some network consulting.

Is that the fashionable term for it these days?

> There. Now you know about me. Now tell me about you. If there's anything you want to tell me, or want me to tell the Priesthood as a whole, go nuts. What's on your mind?

Is Ian Davis as dreamy as he sounds?

JIM, Oracle Nitwit


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Help please?
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Sat, 3 Feb 2001 06:31:53 +0000

Jim Evans schrieb:
>Comrade pieceoftheuniverse wrote:
>> - write an image editor that can read and write in all available formats (including, but not limited to: png, gif, pict, jpeg...)
>Weren't you the one evangelizing about GraphicConverter a while back? That opens stuff I've never even heard of. Apparently the new version opens stuff the *designers* have never even heard of.

"GraphicConverter is extremely embarrassed to admit it doesn't understand the fileformat of this file. Please try another."



Main menu 2