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2001 03

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In/Justice at the Grammies
From: Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Sun, 11 Mar 2001 03:12:44 +1100

Donald Welsh wrote:
> Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au>wrote:
> >Donald Welsh wrote:
> >> Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au>wrote:
> >>Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
> >> >> You're bad, Cpl Vasquez.
> >> >Ahh - so I don't need to mention the three Gary Glitter cd's then....
> >> I hope those were CDs of his *music*.
> >Hmmm - I don't think *music* is quite the right term...
> Well then! You know he got arrested for that, don't you?

Yes, which is why I've decided that we really shouldn't mention him at all so, instead:...

<theatrical sigh>

"Santa, The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bilby, Gary Glitter - hear the sounds of my childhood icons topple one by one from the ramparts of my innocence - hear them crash and crumble broken upon the stone-hard shores of my cold despair".

"Woe - oh woe - another piece torn from my poor, still-beating heart"

<clutches chest, staggers across set, exits stage Left>


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In/Justice at the Grammies
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 9 Mar 2001 19:41:31 GMT

Julianna Avedon <SOteric2.sendnospam.msn.com> said:
[all interesting and/or relevant stuff snipped]
>'duodecahedron'

Wazzat--the Platonic solid representing the shape of the small intestine?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies nip at the heels of genius


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Losing my Marbles
From: pieceoftheuniverse <pieceoftheuniverse.yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, 08 Mar 2001 08:51:30 -0800

Donald Welsh wrote:
>BJ wrote:
>>Cici in Texas wrote:
>>>pieceoftheuniverse wrote:
>>>>>>pieceoftheuniverse - "Give me liberty, or give me meth!"
>>>What? You mean it's not "Give me Exstasy or give me meth!"
>>>I don't think I have the latest script updates.
>>>>>It is a far better thing I do than anything on a sesamebun.
>>>>Four boars and seven helpings ago...
>>>Four chords and several years ago . . .
>>Four Coors and seven beers ago...
>Our four food groups brought forth unto this condiment...

...a new dessert, preserved in sugar, and dedicated to the proposition that all chocolates are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great food fight, testing whether that dessert, or any dessert so preserved, and so tasty, can long endure. We are met here on a great silver platter of that dessert tray. We have come to dedicate a portion of it as a reminder of those who here gave their time that this dessert might exist. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But in a larger sense we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow this tasty treat. The brave chefs, living and dead, who struggled, here, have prepared it far above our poor power to add or detract a small measure of salt. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we eat here, but can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the gourmands, rather to be dedicated here to the delectable dish which they have, thus far, so nobly served. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from this great dessert we take increased devotion to that cause for which they here gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these chefs shall not have cooked in vain; that this dessert shall be eaten in freedom; and that this recipe of the chocolate, by the chocolate, for the chocolate, shall not perish from the earth.

--
pieceoftheuniverse - enough talking ... dig in!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In/Justice at the Grammies
From: Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Mon, 12 Mar 2001 01:41:53 +1100

Fierce Cookie wrote:
> BJ <bjbackitis.alumniSPAM.clemson.edu> wrote:
> >Viki <vvidt.netscape.net>wrote:
> >>BJ wrote:
> >>> -- BJ (who will do a self-THWAP for even starting the damn thing...)
> >>Careful. I hear you could go blind that way.
> >>Helpfully,
> >>Viki
> >Nah... but could end up shaving my palms if I'm not careful...
> >-- BJ (who hasn't worried about that for years...)
> Yeah, I heard that legend and thought, "hmm, hairy palms might actually feel pretty good."

Gee - *I've* got hairy palms...

<proudly and *innocently* points towards clump of Washingtonia Robusta>


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In/Justice at the Grammies
From: Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2001 01:45:23 +1100

Fierce Cookie wrote:
> Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
> >Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
> >> Sara M ...
> >> >Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
> >> >> Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti has gone through rings.
> >> >I wondered what happened to DMP...
> >> Me too. I was hoping that remark might bring him out of retirement.
> >We could ring him - I'm sure he wouldn't mind...
> Oddly enough, I have his work number. Oh wait, you meant...

Piercing intellect you've got there...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: absence note
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 12 Mar 2001 14:23:58 GMT

Lord Insidious, World Dominator <yvrorezn.voicenet.com> said:
>Viki wrote:
>>I was thinking of this the other day and wondering if MY mother knew the kinds of things that I posted on the internet, what would happen. It was a distressing thought, indeed. :)
>I dunno. I don't say anything on-line I wouldn't say IRL, although I might be more judicious as to whom.

How could it get *less* judicious than "yelling to everyone, and recorded for posterity"?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies won't be running for office


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: absence note
From: "Lord Insidious, World Dominator" <yvrorezn.voicenet.com>
Sender: yvrorezn.voicenet.com
Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2001 20:08:41 GMT

Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>>I dunno. I don't say anything on-line I wouldn't say IRL, although I might be more judicious as to whom.
>How could it get *less* judicious than "yelling to everyone, and recorded for posterity"?

Um, er, I don't draw people's attention to it.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Object Lesson
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 8 Mar 2001 23:51:24 GMT

Julianna Avedon <SOteric2.sendnospam.msn.com> said:
}Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org> wrote:
}>While idling, Julianna Avedon said:
}>; MSJulsy thanks you for your interest in installing and running it's "Soulless Human Encyclopaedia" interface. For information on MSJulsy's work with "Encarta," press "1." For information on MSJulsy's "Contemplative Introspection in Essays," press "2." For information on MSJulsy's "Erotica" press "3" and enter your personal
}>/me presses "3"
}"Please enter Personal Erotica Number. (PEN)"
}...
}"Incorrect PEN. Please enter PEN."
}...
}"Incorrect PEN. Please enter PEN."
}...
}Sorry. PENis too short. Disconnecting. Goodbye.

So if your PENis too short, you have a problem with repeatedly "disconnecting" when you try to enter MSJusly.

}>; For all other questions, tear of the top of your head and send it in, along with 26 screaming, snot-nosed children and $24.73 (The current cost of my earthquake losses) cash, to MSJulsy, #123 U.R.B.N. Waundaup
}>You lost the top of your head in the quake?
}Yeah, but it never worked right anyway. You had to jiggle the handle all the time.

I thought that's how it was supposed to work.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wonder if he'll ever get someone else to jiggle his


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Quotations
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 12 Mar 2001 05:57:11 GMT

Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com> said:
>Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au> wrote:
>>thristianSPAMFREEZONE.atdot.org wrote:
>>> Bagel? Wherefore dost thou request a bagel? Surely you are aware that the test of manhood is the devouring of Nutella armed only with a teaspoon?
>>No, the test of manhood is how many bagels you can bring back whilst naked and not using hands.
>>Ian "Baker's dozen" Davis.
>Oy! The delivery boy's a gentile. Call the delicatessen. I want to speak to the manager.

Didn't you read the fine print? "Tax and tip included."

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have seen saurkraut that was stiffer than that


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The Unfortunate Demise of Paul Kelly and What I Did on My Winter Vacation
From: pieceoftheuniverse <pieceoftheuniverse.yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, 08 Mar 2001 12:29:27 -0800

Al Sharka wrote:
>Jason wrote:
>> Al Sharka wrote:
8<on the subject of authors (and readers) who don't know when to stop>8
>> > Unfortunately, I haven't acquired the knack of knowing when tostop and I continue reading and buying "just to see what happens".
>> Piers Anthony would love you, then. Maybe you'd like to read "A Spell for Chameleon"?
>/me hangs head in shame

<potu mode="spam" duration="terribly long" voice="annoying">

Have you read the entire "Ship Who Sang" series?

Have you actually gone through the "Dragons of Pern" without throwing up your hands in disgust? Or tossing your cookies, for that matter?

Have you actually purchased a book whilst saying to yourself "I bet he does better this time"?

Are you currently trying to make your way through yet another book in the "Wheel of Time" series?

Well, torture yourself no more! There is an answer!

How would you like to regain all those lost hours you thought were gone forever when you had wasted yet another day reading a travesty not worth the paper it was printed on? How would you like to get back the thousands of dollars thrown away on hundreds of worthless kindling^Wpaperbacks? How would you like to end up wildly successful because of it?

Well, TOO BAD!

But we -can- help. For just the low, low price of a few minutes of your time, you could put an end to all of this misery! Simply send an e-mail to oracle@cs.indiana.edu with "tellme" in the subject line, and place the following line of text in the body:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Within SECONDS [1] you'll be vapourized into your component atoms! No more needing to worry about the pile of books three feet high that you're too scared to read! No more wading through pages and pages of Robert Jordan's diatribes on taking a step! Heck, no worries, EVER!

E-mail today!

</potu>

--
pieceoftheuniverse - doing his best to reduce overpopulation, and trying to convince the Oracle to <zot> all those bedamnedauthors.


[1] Response times may vary. Some <zots> mayget delivered improperly, resulting in mere property damage rather than wanton destruction. Not a guarantee. Please remember to make out a will before sending.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The Unfortunate Demise of Paul Kelly and What I Did on My Winter Vacation
From: Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org>
Date: Fri, 9 Mar 2001 22:12:33 GMT

pieceoftheuniverse said:

;Jim Evans wrote:
; >It went on for long enough that I started dreading the idea of evacuating the premises in my pyjamas, and then it stopped.
; Exiting the building is only a good idea if the building collapses. Up until then, it's the safest place you could be.

And then, of course, it's probably too late to exit the building.

--
Jeffrey Kaplan

"Get the Hell out of my chair." (Capt. Sheridan to Mr. Bester, B5 "Ship of Tears")


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Quotations
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: Mon, 12 Mar 2001 16:40:50 -0600

Ian Davis wrote:
> Al Sharka
> > Ian Davis wrote:
> > > No, the test of manhood is how many bagels you can bring back whilst naked and not using hands.
> > > Ian "Baker's dozen" Davis.
> > No, the real test comes[1] beyond the first dozen or so bagels and depends on whether you can hang a pail of sand on the end afterwards without drooping.
> > [1] Ooh, you lot.
>
> "On the end?" What does this have to do with stuffing lots of bagels into your mouth?

Ohhh! Your *mouth*. I thought you meant your *nose*.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In/Justice at the Grammies
From: TechnoAtheist <TA.SpamIsBad.delphicresearch.com>
Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2001 20:18:14 -0800

putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com (Fierce Cookie) wrote:
>Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au> wrote:
>>Overdose Underpants wrote:
>>> Donald Welsh, the smarty-pants, said:
>>> > Viki <vvidt.netscape.net>wrote:
>>> > >BJ wrote:
>>> > >[snipped stuff about music enhancing memory and/or learning]
>>> > >Thanks, YFF, for now I hear "MacArthur Park" in my pants.
>>> > IJWTSTA.
>>> Poop on a stick. I've searched every acronym finder I can find, and still don't know what IJWTSTA means. Anyone?
>>If Jehovah's Witnesses Took Speed They'd Agree
>IJWTSTA.

Why do you want to just slap me? What did I do?!?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In/Justice at the Grammies
From: Viki <vvidt.netscape.net>
Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2001 17:40:02 -0500

Donald Welsh wrote:
> Viki <vvidt.netscape.net> wrote:
> >BJ wrote:
> >[snipped stuff about music enhancing memory and/or learning]
> >Thanks, YFF, for now I hear "MacArthur Park" in my sleep.
> IJRTA "sheep".

Can't be sheep. Me not a Priest. Blond Goddess instead.

Viki
... apparently typing like Tonto as well...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Quotations
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2001 00:49:13 -0500

Comrade Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
> Daniel E. Macks wrote ...
> >Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au> said:
> >>putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com(Fierce Cookie) wrote:
> >>>I chose not to go beyond the page indicating that if I were to go beyond it, I would see people and dogs doing things together. I'm much more a cat person, IYKWIM, AITYD.
> >>It's that rough little tongue, isn't it?
> >Nah...just keep the cat shaven.
> Now you've given me flashbacks to Ren & Stimpy - the "valuable hairball" episode.

Me, I'm getting nervous this is going to turn into an "Are You Being Served?" thread.

JIM, *shudder*


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Quotations
From: Viki <vvidt.netscape.net>
Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2001 17:29:12 -0500

Donald Welsh wrote:
> It's that rough little tongue, isn't it?

IJWTSTA.

Viki, *sigh*


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Quotations
From: Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org>
Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2001 06:58:02 GMT

Daniel E. Macks said:
; dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies like all toroidal foods

So, they like toroid affairs, do they?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Quotations
From: TechnoAtheist <TA.SpamIsBad.delphicresearch.com>
Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2001 08:21:50 -0800

putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com (Fierce Cookie) wrote:
>dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) wrote:
>>Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com> said:
>>>apparently they reset the daily Bandwidth Allocation Limit every day.
>>How strange!
>>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are bright red Siamese fighting fishies
>Yeah, the thing I hate about tautologies is that they're so damned...tautological.

Yeah, and they smell really bad if you ever have to slice one open to keep your wounded colleague from freezing to death on an ice planet.

... oh, wait...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: DOWN WITH EJALUCATION!
From: Viki <vvidt.netscape.net>
Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2001 17:47:29 -0500

Donald Welsh wrote:
> Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au>wrote:
> >No - hang on - that didn't come out right.
> Did you mean, "Up with erections!"?

I think she meant:

<Pink Floyd mode>

We don't need no ejaculations
We don't need no semen control
No dark secretions in the men's room
We don't need no condom now

Hey, Sister, leave that drawer alone!

All in all it's just another hit on the wall....

</Pink Floyd>

Viki


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: F-N Coffee Shop
From: "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.webone.com.au>
Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2001 22:58:43 +1100

Sara M wrote ...
>Gordol wrote:
>> Trog said:
>> ; Blah postmaster.gordol.org, blah rec.humor.oracle.d ...
>> ; > Richard Fitzpatrick said:
>> ; > ; Sara M wrote ...
>> ; > ; >Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
>> ; > ; >> Jason wrote ...
>> ; > ; >> >Viki wrote:
>> ; > ; >> >> "Daniel E. Macks" wrote:
>> ; > ; >> >> > Viki <vvidt.netscape.net> said:
>> ; > ; >> >> > >I'd invest in that, TA. If I had anything of value to invest, that is.
>> ; > ; >> >> > >need a counter girl?
>> ; > ; >> >> > No thanks, I think a wooden one wouldsuffice.
>> ; > ; >> >> That dan, always searching for a woody.
>> ; > ; >> >Well, you've got him pegged.
>> ; > ; >> Is that a tent in my trousers, or am I just aBoy Scout?
>> ; > ; >Are you canvassing our opinion?
>> ; > ; Yes, I'm taking a pole.
>> ; > I shall endeavor to be unflappable.
>> ; I refuse to let you guys rope me into this.
>> You're just stringing us along, aren't you?
>I'm a frayed knot.

I was going to say that I'm at a loose end, but on second thoughts I'll just take a bow...

...line.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, you've been a wunnerful audience, but I'm leaving now before the ghost of Nathan beats the crap out of me.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In/Justice at the Grammies
From: Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org>
Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2001 11:23:04 GMT

Viki said:
;"Daniel E. Macks" wrote:
; > Nex'time I'm in the 'Burgh.
; Deal.

Five card draw, twos and one-eyed jacks are wild, jacks or better to open.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In/Justice at the Grammies
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2001 20:54:12 +0000

Daniel E. Macks schrieb:
>Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au> said:
>>Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org>wrote:
>>>Viki said:
>>>; > <bjbackitis.alumniSPAM.clemson.edu> wrote:
>>>; > >There is an interesting fact about music and learning. Why is it that you can remember song lyrics from decades ago, even songs you really hated, yet you can't remember a simple phone number you've heard over and over again?
>>>; MaryAnne Greer: 487-5551. My best friend in third grade, and she moved that year. I still remember her number? Sheesh.
>>>867-5309. Jenny! Don't you change your number!
>>Ricky, don't lose that number.
>Ba ba ba ba baby
>Don't forget my number

You know my name, look up the number.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In/Justice at the Grammies
From: Viki <vvidt.netscape.net>
Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2001 17:48:34 -0500

Donald Welsh wrote:
> Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org>wrote:
> >Daniel E.Macks said:
> >; Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org> said:
> >; >Daniel E. Macks said:
> >; >Julianna Avedon <SOteric2.sendnospam.msn.com> said:
> >; >; >Music is an excellent memory tool for most people. It has also been shown to have no improvement affect when it's independent of the data being studied. In other words, if you're setting down the relevant formulas for a geometry exam to the tune of Madonna's "Like a Virgin," you may well show some success.
> >; >; Okay, I've asked a lot of people (okay everyone in my office at the moment (okay I'm alone, but anyway)) and none of us can think of the relevant lyrics. Please fill me in^W^W^Wenlighten me.
> >; >No, I don't think I want to go there...
> >; >...like a virgin, touched for the very first time...
> >; So how exactly *do* you want to go there?
> >Experienced, so I'll know what to do this time.
> >; dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are keeping your baby
> >That's not +my+ baby...
> So, Dan E. Macks is not your lover?
> -- D. "He's just a boy who thinks that you are the one." W.

He's having my baby...
What a lovely way of saying how much he loves me....


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In/Justice at the Grammies
From: Julianna Avedon <SOteric2.sendnospam.msn.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Mar 2001 21:50:41 -0800

dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) wrote:
>Julianna Avedon <SOteric2.sendnospam.msn.com> said:
>>I hold a master's degree in literature and pyschology,
>You're a mind-reader?


Enough to know that what you're thinking is anatomically impossible unless the woman is _extremely_ flexible ...or maybe if there's a zipper in the back of your rubber trousers...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Way Off-topic Tech Question
From: Jason <jbeasley.primary.net>
Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2001 13:53:36 -0600

Ben Fisher wrote:
> Dave Hemming wrote:
<snip>
> > "Deedle eedle idle eedle idle EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
> > ... I'm so terribly sorry. Go on about your business.
> > Dave
> > Oh, oh, oh, oh - if I had a LAN...
>
> I'd send packets in the morning
> I'd send packets in the evening
> All over this land

I see lights of green,
Flashing amber too,
But no red anywhere,
So the packets fly through,

And I think to myself,
What a wonderful LAN,

The T1 is up,
'bout 50 percent used,
The helpdesk is quiet,
No egos are bruised,

And I think to myself,
What a wonderful LAN,
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful LAN.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Way Off-topic Tech Question
From: BJ <bjbackitis.alumniSPAM.clemson.edu>
Date: Fri, 09 Mar 2001 16:56:03 GMT

Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au> wrote:
>Viki wrote:
>> Sara M wrote:
>> > Viki wrote:

[snipping lessons about the porno business]

>> > > Cici, that was the best suck-up I've seen in a long time. Give EGK a lesson or two, eh? :)
>> > But I thought *you* were the expert in buttering people up around here.
>> Well, of course, but a gal can't be around here 24/7, can she? I didn't think so.
>What would I know? I'm drinking cheap wine out of a Wonder Woman glass - I currently think gals can do *anything*.
><lassos cat>

Okay... if the "magic lasso" works on the feline and he/she/it starts telling the truth about things, ask the furry bugger where the damn "cat satellite" is.

That's the one that sends out the random signals that jump start the cats into the wild nightime frenzies, and makes them attack dust particles that can't even been seen with the aid of electron microscopes.

I have an ICBM loaded and waiting for the coordinates.

-- BJ (and no, and ICBM is not a frozen turd)


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Way Off-topic Tech Question
From: Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org>
Date: Sat, 17 Mar 2001 16:13:39 GMT

Sara M said:
; Trog wrote:
; > Blah egk.speedlink.com.au, blah rec.humor.oracle.d ...
; > > Gordol wrote:
; > > > SaraM said:
; > > > ; Gordol wrote:
; > > > ; > Sara M said:
; > > > ; > ; Trog wrote:
; > > > ; > ; > Blah egk.speedlink.com.au, blah rec.humor.oracle.d...
; > > > ; > ; > > Gordol wrote:
; > > > ; > ; > > > Richard Fitzpatrick said:
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; Sara M wrote ...
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >Trog wrote:
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> Blah egk.speedlink.com.au,blah rec.humor.oracle.d ...
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> > Jason Willoughbywrote:
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> > > Sara M wrote:
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> > > > Screwtape wrote:
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> > > > > Try being more obnoxious - they might *vote*you off.
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> > > > And just what do you mean "more"??
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> > > > Hmmmm?
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> > > > <nonchalantly sharpens claws>
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> > > She has a point...
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> > In some ways I'm very talonted
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >> Well? Don't keep us on tenterhooks.
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; >Trying to spur me on to come up with a barbed comment hmmm?
; > > > ; > ; > > > ; I think she's hooked.
; > > > ; > ; > > > /me pointedly ignores this exchange.
; > > > ; > ; > > Yes - you're right - we're cluttering up the group with needleless chit-chat again...
; > > > ; > ; > Ouch. I think that was a gaff, Sara.
; > > > ; > ; Now now - no need for arrowgance - at least it was a bit more riveting than *your* staple utterances.
; > > > ; > Oohhh... I'm all a-quiver waiting on what's next...
; > > > ; Don't worry - I aim to make sure our comments get a lot archer before we're done
; > > > The question now, is of course, who will bow out first?
; > > It's probably high tied we all did - this is *knot* what this group is for.
; > Truss me, you don't want to do that thong thing again.
; Okay - I'll try knit to get so crochety.

Is your perl in a jam?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Quotations
From: Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org>
Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2001 06:55:52 GMT

While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Sara M said:
; Screwtape wrote:
; > Richard Fitzpatrick schrieb:
; > >Sara M wrote ...
; > >>Fierce Cookie wrote:
; > >>> Yeah, that sort of thing is terrible. By the way, which team did you root for in the World Cup?
; > >>*I* didn't - it's your typical male who eats roots and leaves.
; > >As opposed to the atypical male who eats roots shoots and leaves?
; > I will not panda to your bizzare sense of humour.
; You can't bear it any more hmmm?

It's a Mei Xiang what we can come up with, isn't it?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Losing my Marbles
From: Julianna Avedon <SOteric2.sendnospam.msn.com>
Date: Wed, 21 Mar 2001 07:46:55 -0800

Barry O'Neill <abuse.spamedi.org.uk> wrote:
>surfbaudNOSPAM.waverider.co.uk says...
>> Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org>wrote:
>> > Viki said:
>> >; No wonder the progression of white in my hair will soon overwhelm the blond.
>> >At least you're not prone to +loose+ your hair.
>> You keep your hair on a leash?
>Cry havoc and let slip the rugs of war.

Oh no! Don't do that! There'll be hell toupé.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Way Off-topic Tech Question
From: Jim Menard <jimm.eris.io.com>
Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2001 21:23:35 GMT

Viki <vvidt.netscape.net> writes:
> Jim Menard wrote:
> > "Lane Gray, Czar Castic" <cgraytwo.kc.rr.com> writes:
> > > Donald Welsh said:
> > > > You have no control. You have eaten the jambalaya. You are my slave.
> > > ALL YOUR BOWLS ARE BELONG TO US!!
> > Am I the only one who read that as "BOWELS"?
> Good thing I saw Jim's reply before making a similar joke, eh?

It took guts to admit you passed up that opportunity.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: absence note
From: putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com (Fierce Cookie)
Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 20:32:43 GMT

Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au> wrote:
>TS1 and 2 are two of my favorite movies, completely wasted on kids.

Yeah, dude, those baby goats are a total rush.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Losing my Marbles
From: Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org>
Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 06:41:50 GMT

Jim Evans wrote:
;Comrade Julianna Avedon wrote:
; > Don't let it get your dander up.
; > Just give it the brush-off and be done with it.
; > I'm sure your frustrations won't be permanent.
; > Not really a great reason to just curl up and dye.
; > Upbraiding the participants is not currently necessary.
; > No need to go over your irritations with a fine-toothed comb.
; That song doesn't scan.

Well, no wonder. You've got the scanner plugged into the mouse port.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: A man walked into a bar...
From: Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 00:48:05 +1000

Well - actually it was a bear.

A bear walked up to the bartender and said:

"I'll have a gin......................................and a tonic"

"Why the large pause?" asked the bartender?

"Gee - I dunno" said the bear - "I was just born with them."


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Way Off-topic Tech Question
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 20:38:37 -0500

Comrade Donald Welsh wrote:
> Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca> wrote:
> >Comrade Donald Welsh wrote:
> >> -- D. "I can do 'Fox in Socks' without getting tongue-tied." W.
> >YKIOK,IJNMK
> NNWWSNM!
> > JIM
> Jailbait Internet Maestro?
> -- D. "Gasp. JIM == RST?" W.

Shhh...

JIM, who's also Dumpcarat



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