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2001 11 C

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: RHOD Images
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Sun, 18 Nov 2001 23:56:53 -0500

Comrade TimC wrote:
> TimC -- just named his computers on his home network - "bohr" and "feynman". The next one will be named after that brilliant physicsist "evans".

Ah yes, William Milhouse Evans (1831-1898), co-discoverer of the Evans-Klammerfeld equation, which relates free energy, wavelength, stellar radius, rate of diffusion, magnetic field strength, fluid viscosity, pore tortuosity, redshift velocity, entropy per mole of reactants, gravitational field strength and mass per square meter of hollyhocks. Absolutely brilliant, but potty to the gills. Tragedy that he was passed over for a Nobel in favour of a moldy potato.

His spirit lives on though.

JIM, in my laserjet printer, no less!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: RHOD Images
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 22 Nov 2001 00:50:49 GMT

Gordol <postmaster.gordol.org> said:
>I understand that once upon a time, and maybe still, there was/is a network in Wisconsin (maybe a school) that named all of its machines after cheeses.

While 'tragically' and 'dislocated' are no longer in hip.berkeley.edu, 'vo' and 'dam' are still at mit.edu. And then there's all the fun that can be had in *.cabi.net.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have fun with DNS


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: RHOD Images
From: Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2001 13:27:01 -0500

Gordol wrote:
> TimC said:
> ; > Two rum and cokes, coming up!
> ; Please please please don't mention alch*hic*ol.
> ; Especially not Long Island Iced Tea.
> If you're going to say it, say it right. The place is Lon Gyl'n.

Here we find one of the few bits of evidence supporting the legend of the second midnight ride of Paul Revere, when he warned everyone across the countryside, "The Welshmen are coming! the Welshmen are coming!"


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: RHOD Images
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 20 Nov 2001 02:14:05 GMT

TimC <tcon.no.physics.spam.usyd.accepted.edu.here.au> said:
>Also, coming to the window of a plasma physics group near you (or me, anyway): "Thermonuclear protection". Well, at least, I suppose Feynman used the windscreen to be the first person to look at a nuclear blast. Windscreens block UV of course.
>TimC -- just named his computers on his home network - "bohr" and "feynman". The next one will be named after that brilliant physicsist "evans".

I'm gonna name our server "heisenberg", and then relink all the files to point to /dev/random.

I figure a printed copy has no way to recreate the filename from which it was printed, so why should a filename be able to recreate the data which was saved to it?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies cannot simultaneously be certain of how long and how hard he laughs at his own jokes


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: RHOD Images
From: pieceoftheuniverse <potu.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2001 14:40:13 -0700

The Internet Oracle has pondered Ian Davis' question deeply.
Your question was:
>Why do computers suddenly change from computers to boxes (I know, I know, boxen) just because they run Linux? Is there some mystical topography to that OS/religion that we mere mortals do not know about?

Sadly, Orrie's taking the day off. So pieceoftheuniverse has "borrowed" the Oracle's scribbled notes and has thus spake forth:

} As is always the case with you mortals, you not so much hit the nail right on the head as bash it off to the side, thus making it harder to pound it into the metaphorical wood without using the plier bit of the imaginary hammer. And then, of course, the nail's pretty much ruined (unless if you're clean out of nails, which means you're rather desperate), so often it's best just to start again.
}
} The answer, as you surmised, -does- have to do with geography, religion, and the ever-present slight fear of the mystical aspects of all things that go "ping" when you press cute little buttons.
}
} The story begins, as a lot do, with Linus. Linus was trying to figure out how to make a neat-o OS that looked a lot like Unix without actually having all the problems (copyright issues aside) of such, and wasn't having much success. Either it wouldn't compile, or it would crash amazingly like a Microsoft product, or it would simply set his hair on fire for no readily appropriate reason. It was after one of these hair-singeing episodes that Linus finally lost all hope in his pet project, and set about climbing the highest mountain in Finland to throw his computer -- with the hope that he would have the pleasing result of seeing the pieces shatter on the rocks below.
}
} It was just before chucking his PC over the side that an idea struck him, as ideas are wont to do when you stop thinking about them. He set the computer down, gently, and then leaped towards a mountain goat that happened by. The goat, who was merely out for it's morning constitutional, was very surprised to find itself killed and then have its steaming carcass placed reverently upon Linus' computer.
}
} To Linus' surprise, the computer started to boot up.
}
} Of course he had brought the monitor to toss over the side, too, so he hooked it up, and aside from the complete lack of power source he could see that his creation, nowadays known as "Linux," was actually working. It had compiled, and it could run for centuries without having to be rebooted, all thanks to the sacrificial goat.
}
} At first, Linus referred to every box running his creation as an "altar," but that scared the average person on the street into thinking that using Linux was an initiation into some strange sort of cult (which it is, but that's another topic for another time). Only by calling the units "boxes" -- which has the same number of letters as "altar," and thus reverence is still achieved -- could he overcome most of this stigma.
}
} You owe the Oracle some entrails to read, or the instruction manual for Red Hat Linux; whichever has the most clarity.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: RHOD Images
From: "Ken Adams" <kmadams85.spamcop.net>
Date: Sat, 24 Nov 2001 22:12:20 GMT

"Chris Wesling" <cwesling.cannedmeat.prodigy.net> wrote
[snip]
> Yes, a few times. That is tasty too ...

Ahh, the joy of reading messages out of order! Right before I read the above posting from Chris, I read the following (also from Chris).

> You Know I Only Kissed Indiana Jones Near My Kangaroo?


Beautiful, innit?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: RHOD Images
From: Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com>
Date: Sat, 24 Nov 2001 20:41:56 -0600

Cici in Texas wrote:
> TimC <tcon.no.physics.spam.usyd.accepted.edu.here.au> wrote:
> >Donald Welsh (aka Bruce) wrote:
> >> Cici in Texas <cclovis.mindspring.com> wrote:
> >>> "Viki" <vvidt.netscape.net> wrote:
> >>>>Viki, and would someone make us a round of rum and cokes?
> >>>Make that two rounds.
> >> Two rum and cokes, coming up!
> >Please please please don't mention alch*hic*ol.
> >Especially not Long Island Iced Tea.
> I wish I knew why they call it that -- there isn't even any tea in the recipe.

I don't think it was invented on Long Island, either. But you have to call it *something*.
"Hey bartender, set me up with up with a drink."
"Anything in particular?"
"Yeah, that one where you take some liquor, add it to some other liquor, mix it together with that other liqour, and dash in some Coke."
"Buddy, how many have you had?"
"I'm trying to get my first one!"
"Sure. Cab!"

> >> -- D. "Sure you ladies wouldn't prefer Hurricanes?" W.
> >Again, I think they mostly prefer multiple screaming orgasms on the beach.
> What IS it with you people? Is there something WRONG with tequila shooters, or what?

You know, you add some tabasco to that, and you can *really* hurt yourself.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Explained URL's Unexplainable URLs
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 20 Nov 2001 02:37:48 GMT

Chris Wesling <cwesling.cannedmeat.prodigy.net> said:
>"Daniel E. Macks" wrote:
>> Ken Adams <kmadams85.yahoo.com> said:
>> >I'm now doing the defense contractor thing in New Jersey, just a quick swim from Philadelphia.
>> That's nice, but you'd be a much better stalker if you didn't tell me about it.
>> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wonder if Freyja and Chris are in on the operation
>We're not in New Jersey any more, silly, we're on the opposite coast in the beyootiful S.F. Bay Area. Haven't you been keeping up at ALL?

What a perfect alibi.

"No Sir, Officer, Sir. I *couldn't* have been stalking dan--didn't you see on RHOD where I told everybody I was in San Fran?"

In fact, I drove through the People's Republic of Turnpike-and-Parkway *twice* over the weekend and didn't once see Ken. He freely admits to being there, however, and I will also note that I also didn't see Chris or Freyja. Clearly, then, if you weren't there, I would have seen you there, unlike Ken whom I didn't see because he *was* there.

I hope this is all clear, and that you two now have a better understanding of the fact that you are in New Jersey.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies know a thing or two about logic


From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Any ideas to combat ng bombing?
Date: Sat, 24 Nov 2001 17:16:33 GMT

"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.webone.com.au> wrote:
[ Problemss with nasssty trollsses. ]
>Dear Ghod, no. That's what *they've* been doing.

Dare I suggest you entice them into opening The URL?

>Then again, could hardly be worse, I s'pose.

Don't s'pose they read the newsgroups they defile anyway. They're the sort to shit on the dance floor but not attend the ball the next night.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: We have a winner!
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2001 22:28:49 -0500

Comrade Daniel E. Macks wrote:
> In comp.sys.sgi.admin, Peter Berg <berg.lux.hrz.tu-freiberg.de> said:
> >what does this funny error message
> >/dev/null: No space left on device
> >mean, which recently showed up on my IRIX 6.2 machine !?
> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies didn't know the bottomless pit had a bottom


/dev/null is full. Please undelete any non-essential files.

Thank you,

The Management


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Just for the record...
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Thu, 22 Nov 2001 01:10:55 -0500

Comrade Davehinz wrote:
> I'd like to say this: Wisdom teeth suck.
> Or rather, the process involved in getting rid of them, sucks.
> While we're on the topic of things which suck: intense pain, oral surgeons who say "Hmmmm," while digging in one's jaw, and Vicodin, all suck too.

But the drugs! And waking up to find a dried puddle of reddish-brown drool on your pillow! You can't tell me you don't dig (oops, sorry) that?

> Dave "Just in time for Thanksgiving, too..." Hinz

Poor sod. See, now if you were Canuckian you could have had your Thanksgiving a month or so ago.

Sympathies and all that.

JIM, but hey, you can still have the bread sauce, right?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Schitzophrenia
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 01:13:36 +1100

TimC schrieb:
>Screwtape (aka Bruce) wrote:
>> Does anyone else ever find themselves having imaginary conversations with other rhodites?
>> This evening while coming home on the train, the following interchange occurred:

>> Richard Fitzpatric schrieb:
>> > Screwtape wrote:
>> > > TimC schrieb:
>> > > > Screwtape wrote:
>> > > > > Oddly enough, I don't find exclusively sex-based humour very funny at all.
>> > > > What! How can you dare post to RHOD in such a state?
>> > > I wasn't in this condition when I came in here.
>> > You mean reading RHOD trains you *not* to laugh at penis jokes?
>>
>> Yes. You've all ruined the magic of ruining the magic of sex for people for me.

>> After that, nobody could think of a reasonable response and the thread
>> died.
>Note to non-australians. Not all australians are as strange as ST makes us out to be. But we are just as sex obsessed.....

When did I say-

>> Screwtape,
>> ...gosh, I'm even *more* egotistical in my dreams!
>Why are we all Australian, anyway Screwy?

Well, when a mummy continent and a daddy continent love each other very much... <snip snip snip> ...and that's where archipelagos come from.

>'cause we are all on the train together,

...that great big train called Life.

>or am just entirely misunderstanding your entire post?

Uh.. the fact that all the alleged participants in the above alleged dialogue are Strine is completely and fully explained by the little scapegoat statisticians like to call "coincidence".

Actually, I was just trying to think of people who would reply to me in a vaguely serious fashion. For some reason, they're mostly Strine. Go figure.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Schitzophrenia
From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 08:32:35 +1100

st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
> TimC schrieb:
> >'cause we are all on the train together,
> ...that great big train called Life.

Which makes rhod the Big Iron Bar of Contemplation laid across the Tracks of Destiny by the Delinquents of Eternity.

Ian, aka the Stationmaster of Incoherence mumbling through the Distorting PA System of Frustration as your Express of Hope is inexplicably diverted to the Whistlestop at the Endless Plains, stopping all Stations, Stand Clear Please.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Schitzophrenia
From: pieceoftheuniverse <potu.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Mon, 26 Nov 2001 11:54:26 -0700

Sid said this:
>Screwtape muttered:
>>Does anyone else ever find themselves having imaginary conversations with other rhodites?
>Yes, but not of this kind. I have imaginary conversations where I meet rhodites in the street and I recognise them and call out their USENET handle and they get all embarrassed and walk away.

Strangely enough, I've started introducing myself to people as "piece," rather than my real name. The reasons for this are not completely clear, as the lines between reality and USENET have once again blurred.

--
pieceoftheuniverse - though it is getting tiring saying "No, not 'peace'; 'piece'!"

From: Sid <sid.siddhartha.8m.com>
Ah. Were you the guy who was dressed up like a beatnik and distributing dove claws outside the lecture theatre last Tuesday?
.
From: pieceoftheuniverse <potu.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
"Peace, please, and to demonstrate a peaceful nature I've made sure that several fowls are now paraplegic"?
A little non-sequituer for my tastes.
I was the one handing out puzzle pieces in the back row.
--
pieceoftheuniverse - in a truly evil stroke of genius, all were virtually identical and formed no coherent picture.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Schitzophrenia
From: TechnoAtheist <TA.SpamIsBad.grayhoundchronicles.com>
Date: Wed, 28 Nov 2001 05:36:30 GMT

A group of reeling monkeys claiming to be pieceoftheuniverse <potu.pieceoftheuniverse.com> wrote:
>TechnoAtheist said this:
>>A group of redfaced monkeys claiming to be pieceoftheuniverse <potu.pieceoftheuniverse.com> wrote:
>>>pieceoftheuniverse - though it is getting tiring saying "No, not 'peace'; 'piece'!"
>>So, how many times have you been slapped?
>*WHOOSH*
>--
>pieceoftheuniverse - right over my head; is there some derivative of "piece" that I am not aware of? Preferably one that leads to improper sexual innuendo? 'Cause, you know, I could use that. Not publicly, but still.

I think you'll like working for us Carol.

Thanks.

Although I must warn you that like any other company we've got our share of the good, the bad and the ugly.

Really?

Sure, take Phil over there. He's definitely one I'd classify in the Ugly Category, well, at least until he gets his coffee.

I see.

And then there's Roger over there.

Where?

He's the one stuffing office supplies into the brown paper bag. Well entrenched in the "Bad" category.

I'd say.

But then you've got folks like me. Folks love me. In fact it's quite often that folks stop by and compliment me for the things I do for them. Things like hold this door open for that lady walking in.

Really?

You bet. They just walk up and say things like "Yeah, you're a nice Piece"

Fresh! *THWAP*

Does that happen alot?

Sadly...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Schitzophrenia
From: pieceoftheuniverse <potu.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Tue, 27 Nov 2001 13:25:34 -0700

Lord Insidious, World Dominator said this:
>pieceoftheuniverse wrote:
>>the lines between reality and USENET have once again blurred.
>There are LINES?!

Straight ones, at that.

--
pieceoftheuniverse - who makes a very good straight man, apparently. Just ask any of my ex's.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: This is the kind of thing...
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Thu, 22 Nov 2001 16:37:44 +0000

Eli the Bearded <*.qz.little-neck.ny.us> writes
> Hetta <hetta.saunalahti.fi> wrote:
>> I also did a miniletter compleat with envelope:

>>   ________
>>  /________\
>> | ___    ##|
>> ||___|     |_________
>> |_________| ~~       |
>>           | ~~~~~~~~~|
>>           > ~~~~~~~~~<
>>           | ~~~~~~~  |
>>           | ~~~~~~~~~|
>>           > ~~~~~~   <
>>           |    ~~~~~~|
>>           |__________|

>The window on the envelope makes me think of a bill, and the text format of the letter makes me think of a cut-off-services letter from a utility. Perhaps Zadoc has forgot the pay the ZOTage bill again?

You mean, something like this?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

         Dear Mr Oracle,         Due to your persistent failure to settle your bills,         we have been forced to disconnect your incandescent         plasma supply.
       /\       Love and kisses,
       ==       Indiana Electric Co
      (^^>   _   /
       --   | | /
     /|  |-E|_|
    / |  \
     /____\
       ^ ^
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------
   HOI ZADOC! COME HERE!
    /
   /              ________________
  /              |                |          |    Oracle's    |             /\          |  Throne Room.  |             ==          |     <-----     |            <^^)          |________________|             --                                       /|  |\                                      / /  \ \                                       /____\                                       ^   ^   ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------
   WHY AREN'T YOU               Did I ever tell you you remind me of
   KNEELING, WORM?              an overweight walrus with halitosis?
    /                                 /
   /                                 /
  /                           /\    /                       ==   /                      <^^)                       o                      | ||                      / ||                     /____\                      ^ ^
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------
   WHY YOU...!!!            And that Lisa would rather sleep with me
    /                       than with you any day. And with gerbils,
   /                        for that matter. And even with Darkmage.
  /                                  /                       /\    /                       ==   /                      <^^)                       o                      | ||                      / ||                     /____\                      ^ ^
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------
   THAT DOES IT!
    TAKE THAT!!
    /
   /
  /                           /\                       ==                      <oo)
  * * *                       -- *                    | ||  *                   / ||   *                 /____\  (zot) (fizzle)      ^ ^
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------
   COME BACK, YOU LITTLE #.%$##*&!!!           God bless America's
    /                                      utilities, is what I say.
   /              ________________                   /
  /              |                |                 /          |    Oracle's    |          /\    /          |  Throne Room.  |          ==   /          |     <-----     |         (^^>          |________________|          --                                    /|  |\                                   / /  \ \                                    /____\                         ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   ^   ^
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*-----*---I can't believe I just used up 1.5 hours--
--*-----*--*----*----*----*--*---*--of my life producing this--*---


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: From the Gravity Still Sucks Marketing Department:
From: ossipewsk.cheerful.com (Richard Fitzpatrick)
Date: 22 Nov 2001 17:33:05 -0800

Want to lose weight? Want to bulk up?

Which ever it is, you can do either without eating a single thing less, or lifting a single barbell.

How? Simple! Just move to the right locale!

Here's how:
<http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1668000/1668872.stm>

For example:
>A new gravity map of the Earth suggests that if you want to lose weight you should go to India, where the pull of gravity is slightly less than it is elsewhere on the planet. You would be slightly less than 1% lighter there.

But the bit I especially liked is:
>The gravity data will also allow a new look at the oceans. When free from other influences, the ocean surface takes up the shape of the Earth's geoid - the surface on which the pull of gravity is equal everywhere.

Geoid? Is that what you call a line on a map joining points of equal gravity? I don't know, although I think know a few others:
A line on a map joining points of equal rainfall = isohyet
A line on a map joining points of equal atmospheric pressure = isobar
A line on a map joining points of equal temperature = isotherm
A line on a map joining points of equal altitude = contour
Some I don't know, but think we should add to the English language:
A line on a map joining points of equal tardiness = isolate
A line on a map joining points of equal lust = isowantim/isowanter
A line on a map joining points of equal idiocy = isoscele
A line on a map joining points of equal brownness = isotaupe

Anyone else?

Richard F.

From: tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
A line on a map joining points of equal non-equalness - isomorph
.
From: "Ken Adams" <kmadams85.spamcop.net>
A line on a map joining points of equal alien visitation = isomork
.
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
A line on a map joining points of equal ship-sinking probability = isoffport.
.
From: tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
A line joining points of equal coldness: isocle
A line joining points of equal "I hardly even know 'er" jokes: isomer

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Yay!
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 23:50:52 -0500

Comrade Sid wrote:
> 8 days, 6 exams. It's over.
> Sid, now to catch up with 500+ posts

Yay Sid!

JIM, 501+...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Giving Thanks
From: google.unitedheroes.net (TechnoAtheist)
Date: 23 Nov 2001 22:44:18 -0800

Dear Carol,
I just wanted to take a few minutes to thank you for inviting everyone over and making that lovely dinner. I have to admit that deciding to serve the turkey as sashimi was a clever way to deal with forgetting to thaw it. I'm sure everyone enjoyed it as much as your cat Felix seemed to.

I also have to compliment you again on your delicious sweet potatoes. They were so sweet all caramelized to the pan like that. Like I said, they weren't burned to charcoal, the tray just thought they were so yummy that it didn't want to give them up without a fight. Besides, you wanted a new spatula anyway, and I'm sure Santa will bring you a new casserole dish to replace that one. Oh, but sweetie, I wouldn't try gluing back together.

The mashed potatoes were also heavenly, not like those fluffy bits of nothing that I usually make, these were proper substantial potatoes. Real stick to your ribs and dental work kind of food. I also loved the way they crunched. I'll simply have to remember to add a cup of rock salt to my next batch.

The stuffing was divine and went so well with everything. Bill is sorry that he confused it with the gravy, but he just isn't up on culinary trends. I could just had cup after cup of it.

It's a shame that Shasta had to protest you serving dinner. I'm sure Lydia will have a few words with her about rubbing her hands with cranberry sauce and chanting "Meat is Murder". The teen years can be confusing for some, and I'm sure that she'll be a well adjusted young lady, eventually, maybe when she realizes she's twenty four.

The one thing I simply can't get over is how you were able to make that luscious dinner in that cute little apartment of yours. It's just so cozy. I'm sorry I had to keep chasing you away from the oven but you know with this darn bladder infection, I need to go more often, and it gave me an excuse to peek in on the turkey while I was in there.

It was also a real treat to see Harry, Claire, Tommy, Susan, Gran, Francis, Willie, Rebecca, Susan, and Jack sharing the love seat. Sure it was a bit tight at first, but after a few hours things I'm sure that most of them got to eat and Francis says that the feeling is starting to come back to his legs.

Anyway, the nurse will be coming around shortly to empty out my stomach pump. They're just the nicest folks here. You should stop by once they let you out.

Thanks again, see you in five to twenty.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Just got laid...
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Sat, 24 Nov 2001 21:07:15 -0500

Comrade Cici in Texas wrote:
> I've just developed a new ideal in life. I want to get a bunch of Texas good ol' boys and a bunch of Aussie blokes all in the same bar and give 'em all the beer they can stand, and just record the results for posterity. Otherwise, posterity would never believe it.

They won't be able to understand a single thing each-other says, until somebody brings out the chainsaw. Then it'll be good times, bonhomie and multiple lacerations all around.

"Oi Bruce, watch this!" RRRRRRRRRRRRR*shplunk*!

"Yeehaw!"

> In the School of Life, why is the tuition so high?

Cause everyone wants to put off graduation for as long as possible.

JIM


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Sid and Steve-o in NY [was Re: Legal Question]
From: dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
Date: 28 Nov 2001 01:56:00 GMT

Robot Karate Man <HeySteveo.steveo.cjb.net> said:
>Sid wrote:
>> Sid, I call Godzilla
>Dammit. Now I've got to borrow some body hair.

*shaveshaveshave*

Where shall I send it, and do you prefer UPS or FedEx?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies recommend hair-mail


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Interesting....
From: pieceoftheuniverse <potu.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Mon, 26 Nov 2001 12:12:56 -0700

TimC said this:
<snip everything else, as i have nothing to say on the matter. Not that I've been stopped by such before...>
>4) The astrophysics department will live another year we think - we have been having funding problems (read, the head of department thinks we should get rid of our telescope, and concentrate more on theoretical physics),

You use a telescope for physics?!

Theoretical astronomy, on the other hand, sounds much more interesting.

"I -think- there's a star right over ..."
"Don't point!"
"What? Why not!"
"Then you'll force us to look up! And we're not allowed to look up due to budget constraints!"
"That's ridiculous! Those same constraints don't allow us to have a ceiling, so the best way to see the stars is too look up!"
"We don't have the financial stability to look up! Just -assume- there's a star there, and work off of that theory."
"Oh, alright, then. What sort of star?"
"Assume a perfectly spherical stellar body ..."

--
pieceoftheuniverse - i'll take the telescope off your hands for ... let's see ... five dollars.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Interesting....
From: Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com>
Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2001 07:57:59 -0500

davehinz.spamcop.net wrote:
> Heh. I lost any respect I had for my chem prof when I had reason to ask him (privately, after lecture) what the freezing point of Hg was, and/or where I could find it. He didn't know the answer to either question, and couldn't fathom why anyone would care about something like that.
> Wasn't in the textbook he wrote, so it wasn't important, or something.

Well, he tried measuring it once, but his thermometer froze up.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What I want to Be When I Grow Up
From: tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
Date: Mon, 26 Nov 2001 23:21:40 -0000

Daniel E. Macks (dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu) wrote:
> A long time ago, Sara M <egk.speedlink.com.au> said:
>>Donald Welsh wrote:
>>> twchew.raspberry.mindspring.com (Tim Chew) wrote:
>>> >Reminds me. What happened to Tom, who occasionally would go by the nickname, "Tom"?
>>> Drop bears got 'im.
>>How do you *know* it was drop bears??
> Could've been worse: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_458450.html
> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies never run texpire on RHOD

I've been feeding squirrels near my house for years now, but it never occurred to me that one of them might go for my nuts some day.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Internet Oracularities Digest #1238
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2001 17:16:04 -0600

From: Internet Oracle <oracle-vote.cs.indiana.edu>
} God knows, there's little enough originality around as it is - let's not implant even more people with the Python-parroting meme.

You want it to be an ex-meme? Lovely verbiage.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Windoze DVD software
From: davehinz.spamcop.net
Date: 30 Nov 2001 19:22:14 GMT

Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au> wrote:
> davehinz.spamcop.net wrote:
>>Indeed. It pays to be the guy who writes the standards, sometimes.
>>Dave "Well, the standard doesn't specifically mention pr0n, of course..." Hinz
> Of course not. That's what doubletalk jargon like "multimedia capable" is for.

Hey - that report is company confidential. What the hell are you doing with a copy?

Dave "Did you like my 'if you are still reading this far, I will buy you a coffee' buried on page 37?" Hinz



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