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2002 06 a.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: How to wash your kitty, and survive
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Sat, 1 Jun 2002 10:00:30 +0100

pieceoftheuniverse <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com> writes
>Tom Harrington wrote:
>> Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>> I'm a European. I know nothing of these newfangled high-tech concepts of which you speak. Like motion- activated lawn-sprinklers. And electricity.
>>This explains much about the NHS, I think.
>National Hockey School?

Nude Hospital Staff, you fool.

>>> And I wasn't really on the lookout for proffered solutions.
>Yeah, but wouldn't it be nice? Then when you implement the (no doubt) brilliant solution, and people ask you about it, then you can say "I got it from rhod," at which point we'll get a whole slew of newbies to bar-b-que.

I will certainly be doing this with regard to the suggestion I lure all the neighbourhood boys to my domain and get them to whip out their willies. Inasmuch as the people asking me are likely to be from the Social Services, and will go on to ask about my possible involvement in other instances of ritual abuse. So if you get a visit from a couple of hard-faced men asking to check your computer files, tell them to wait just a moment whilst you light the charcoal and fetch the oregano.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*-----*----*---*-*---Damn! Accidental JP summoning--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: How to wash your kitty, and survive
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Sat, 1 Jun 2002 10:05:17 +0100

Daniel E. Macks <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> writes
>Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> said:
>Wassamatter, Tom"Tom", can't resist your Hannibalistic instincts?

I now have this image of a supermodel crossing the Alps whilst muttering about fava beans and Chianti. Further visual accruals to the Tom "Tom" avatar are likely to cause my brain to explode.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*-----*----*--Did I mention the rest of the A-Team--
--*----*---*---*-----*----*---following him on elephants on skis?--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: How to wash your kitty, and survive
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: 4 Jun 2002 01:33:49 GMT

Yog Shoggoth <dr_yog.hotmail.com> said:
> davehinz.spamcop.net wrote:
>>Brantley Hudson <brantley_hudson.nospam.hp.com> wrote:
>>> davehinz.spamcop.net wrote:
>>>> I don't know if it's just the Jessica Fletcher effect (USA'n reference),
>>> I'm reasonably sure this is a reference to the "Murder She Wrote" character,
>>Yes. That is one person I would *not* want to hang out with; invariably someone, no matter where she goes, gets murdered. OK, now we have a pretty interesting group here, how many people (show of bits) have been somewhere when a murder has taken place? Two murders? One every freaking *week*?
> Actually I used to work in inner city philadelphia (driving from school to school), and it was not rare for me to find out that a murder or shooting death had occurred near the school where I was headed the night before I was headed there.

Boy, talk about a tough performance evaluation.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies will never turn in their grades late again


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: How to wash your kitty, and survive
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Tue, 04 Jun 2002 01:56:54 -0400

davehinz.spamcop.net wrote:
> Brantley Hudson wrote:
> > davehinz.spamcop.net wrote:
> >> I don't know if it's just the Jessica Fletcher effect (USA'n reference),
> > I'm reasonably sure this is a reference to the "Murder She Wrote" character,
> Yes. That is one person I would *not* want to hang out with; invariably someone, no matter where she goes, gets murdered. OK, now we have a pretty interesting group here, how many people (show of bits) have been somewhere when a murder has taken place? Two murders? One every freaking *week*?

I usually make arrangements to be seen somewhere else at the time.


Newsgroups: alt.fan.douglas-adams,rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hiatus
From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
Date: Tue, 04 Jun 2002 07:48:55 +1000

vvidt.netscape.net (Viki) wrote:
> Viki
> ...btw, did I mention that I won my first case the other day? Woo hoo!

Well done! Is there any left?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: How to wash your kitty, and survive
From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 05:05:13 GMT

vvidt.netscape.net (Viki) wrote:
>(2) *Apparent*??? How more apparent can one be when there's a videotape? But that was my winning case, yesindeedydoooo. : )

Contrary to popular misconception, a photograph or videotape "proves" nothing; it is merely evidence. What matters in court is *testimony* that it is a true record of the events under consideration.

Plus, there may be issues involving events *not* caught on tape, as in the Rodney King case.

To take one relatively trivial example, there was a case concerning the color of a shipment of bananas. The photograph of the bananas was not useful as evidence because there was no assurance that the color in the photo was a true record.

So, when you photograph your banana, get a Pantone graph in the shot.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Away with Words
From: Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com>
Date: Sun, 02 Jun 2002 10:13:03 -0400

Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
> Bugger. Did it again, din' I? Can you keep Ian off my back, please.

*snicker*

Q: How do they separate the men from the boys in Australia?

A: With a crowbar.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Krispiness is next to Kodliness
From: Brantley Hudson <brantley_hudson.nospam.hp.com>
Date: Mon, 03 Jun 2002 10:17:50 -0500

Tom Harrington wrote:
> Recently the city in which I live has been overcome with excitement as a new wave of 'Merkin culture breaks over our borders. It's not any of the latest movies, music, art, etc, etc. In keeping with this city's low-brow perspectives, it's doughnuts.
> The arrival of Krispy Kreme doughnuts to this area has been greeted with a level of excitement normally accorded to, well, things that actually matter, well beyond the typical reaction to yet another nationally-franchised pseudofood supplier. <snip>

The arrival of KK here was greeted likewise. Out of curiosity, I did some checking on what the deal is with franchising (how much one costs, etc). There are NO franchises available in the US, they've all been bought up (every major city in the US). See http://www.krispykreme.com/us.html for more info...

It's interesting at the least that there is this charisma level associated with a doughnut shop. They are good doughnuts (when warm) but, *doughnuts*, we're _that_ excited about doughnuts? Maybe we're just nuts...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Krispiness is next to Kodliness
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 2002 08:48:40 +1000

m_init(): spawning followupTo('Brantley Hudson')...done.
>It's interesting at the least that there is this charisma level associated with a doughnut shop. They are good doughnuts (when warm) but, *doughnuts*, we're _that_ excited about doughnuts? Maybe we're just nuts...

Out of curiosity, does this new store happen to be colinear with any other doughnut stores? Are there any plans for further doughnut stores to move in next door?

Screwtape,
...thank $DEITY you're not at the *other* end of the Road.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Krispiness is next to Kodliness
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Tue, 04 Jun 2002 02:01:37 -0400

Comrade Brantley Hudson wrote:
> It's interesting at the least that there is this charisma level associated with a doughnut shop. They are good doughnuts (when warm) but, *doughnuts*, we're _that_ excited about doughnuts? Maybe we're just nuts...

Well, it's not just you Merkans. Practically anywhere in Canada west of the Rockies, Tim Horton's isn't just a doughnut shop, it's a freakin' cultural institution. People in Ontario base their lives around stopping in to the local "Timmy's".

<Vancouverite>
I mean, jeez, it's not like it's Starbuck's or anything...
</Vancouverite>

JIM


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Krispiness is next to Kodliness
From: pieceoftheuniverse <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 14:22:49 -0600

Lord Insidious, World Dominator wrote:
>TechnoAtheist wrote:
>>>That's why $DEITY makes people like JMS.
>>Do you have any idea how much I'd love him to write a season of "Friends"?
>>Granted, cleaning up the exploded heads of all the viewers out there would be a bit messy, but MY GOD would it be worth it!
>The first time I read this I missed the word "him" in the first sentence, and while I had no objections to the idea, I couldn't help wondering why heads would explode.

TA writing an episode of "Friends"? Seeing what he's done to the HG universe (Deuterium Boy will never recover), I can only imagine what things he would have in store for Joey, Chandler, and the rest of 'em. Exploding heads? Ha -- too mundane. They'd probably get out of New York, for one, and relocate to someplace less popular ... maybe Newark, maybe some place really obtuse, like Provo. The rest of the series would resolve around Monica's sudden newfound ability to do strange yet comedic things with prophylactics, and Ross' death in a random incident involving an escaped cheetah and an overgrown (robotic) aardvark. New characters will be introduced that have little or nothing to do with the actual plot, and yet the scenes will be focused upon them for most of the season (only to have a loose tie-in later). Joey signs up as a superhero, and next thing you know they're doing a crossover with "Smallville."

I kid, of course.


The WB network would never stoop to such a thing.


Newsgroups: alt.fan.douglas-adams,rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hiatus
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Sun, 9 Jun 2002 00:08:00 +1000

m_init(): spawning followupTo('Jellyroll Papadopoulos')...done.
>Also Sprach Jim Evans:
>> Comrade GW De Lacey wrote:
>> > A king nay a pope among men,
>> I think it's JP you want, then.
>Not yet. JP must wait for JP2 to pop his clogs, alas.

Whose father was JP3, who was preceded by JP4, who was sired by JP5, and so forth.

Screwtape,
...there was an accident with a time-machine and a contraceptive.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another year, still another place...
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Wed, 05 Jun 2002 22:30:27 +1000

GW De Lacey wrote:
> TimC wrote:
> >GW De Lacey wrote:
> >> Coffs Harbour, another place with an immortality inducing name, at least for the person who let those who name Australian towns take up the non-existant copyright on his name - or not, as the case may be.
> >> As a place it's not too bad - nice beaches, forests, mountains. Not Queensland, and somewhat closer to Sydney than is wise, but still not too bad.
> >Still too hot and humid for me
> What? Coffs?
> It's positively Antarctician, IMO.
> Compared to Cairns or Darwin
> or Java

"Tahiti looks nice this time of year, James..."

Mind you - so does Johnny Depp, but I probably just put that bit in for Viki...

> > And that big banana is sooo tacky.

Got a problem with 8-----p--h--a--l--l--i--c-----> symbols, have we...?

Ha - you don't know how lucky you are to have a big banana - all *I've* got down here is a giant vacant sheep and a huge stucco memorial potato...

<squirms uncomfortably, but in an entirely rhod-like manner>


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another year, still another place...
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 15:14:32 -0600

SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au> wrote:
> What are your three most favourite books, gentle audient?
> I hereby officially call a poll for:
> The Top Three Books Of Rhod.

1. 365 Ways to Cook Norway Rats
2. Beatrix Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
3. Java in a Nut's Hell


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another year, still another place...
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 17:44:22 +0100

Hetta <hetta.saunalahti.fi> writes
>Chris Wesling <cwesling.cannedmeat.prodigy.net> wrote:
>> The *early* "The Saint" books by Leslie Charteris are great. The later ones got kinda formulaic. The novelization of the movie sucked boulders through a straw. I haven't bothered seeing the movie, or the TV series with Roger Moore.
>Ah, but the telly series wasn't only Roger Moore, it was Tony Curtis, too.

That's "The Persuaders" you're thinking of, dear heart. One of the Great Crap TV Series of Days Gone By. Personally, I refuse to watch anything where the men's collars don't stick out at least 6 inches and their sideburns aren't a fire hazard.

BTW, why's everybody listing their fav books? Didn't EGK ask for the top 3 RHOD books? In which case, shouldn't these be something like:

* Grovelling for Dummies, by Z. Worm
* Peer to Peer and other hilarious medical puns, by I. Davies
* The Newbie Cook Book, including 1001 uses for oregano, by N. Knows

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*--Naked Molerats: a copiously illustrated guide, by H. Heffner--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another year, still another place...
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 03:15:13 +1000

Brantley Hudson wrote:
> I *told* you it was hard picking out just three. I can't do it.

...said the naked man in the Pamela Anderson factory...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another year, still another place...
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Sat, 15 Jun 2002 20:31:20 +1000

m_init(): spawning followupTo('Richard Fitzpatrick')...done.
>Screwtape wrote ...
>>m_init(): spawning followupTo('Matthew Davey')...done.
>>> Agent Smith: We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.
>>> Neo: Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger... and you give me my phone call.
>>What good is a phone call, if you are unable to speak?
>What if you could shoot the Devil in the back? What if you miss?

Either way, I'd have a killer thesis for a PHd in applied theology?

>>Screwtape,
>>...got The Matrix DVD for his Birthday.
>Lucky you - but why The Matrix? Didn't get a choice, eh?

I mean the actual disc, not a player.

Besides, I *asked* for The Matrix. That and Run, Lola, Run are the only films (so far) I'd consider actually permanently acquiring.

>Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti made do with tickets to see The Umbilical Brothers instead.

Are they the guys who did Puppetry of the.. well, *you* know.

Screwtape,
...who saw that book at Angus & Robertson the other day, but couldn't bring himself to pick it up, let alone open it.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another year, still another place...
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 21:39:19 -0500

Donald Welsh wrote:
} Ian Davis wrote:
} > "Matthew Davey" wrote:
} >> David Eddings - Belgareth The Sorceror. Gives you a very good overview of some 11 books of his, as well as being a stonking read.
} >Well, the paper's nice and soft, so it does not leave nasty scratches on your buttocks.
} Don't hold back, Ian, tell us how you really feel.

He prolly feels relieved to have finally gotten that out.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another year, still another place...
From: Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com>
Date: Sun, 16 Jun 2002 00:12:56 -0400

Rhodnius wrote:
> The series that did that for me was the various Tom Swift books.

"My wife is so irritable," complained Tom periodically.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another year, still another place...
From: Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com>
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 18:13:45 GMT

Yog Shoggoth wrote:
> Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com> wrote:<snip>
>>*cough* Okay, I was young and naive, all right? I have to say, the first two books are crap, too. When someone can't get through an entire paragraph without making a lousy pun, you've got to figure it'll only get worse. So, I've only read the first two Xanth "novels". Then I decided I didn't need to read any of the rest. Same way with Incarnations of Immortality. Read the first two. Figured out the formula. Never went back.
> IMO (and who the hell am I?) ,the 2nd to last book in that series is better than the second one. (I read 'em all when I was young)

Ah, but see, this is like saying that stepping barefoot on a clean nail is better than stepping barefoot on a rusty nail.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another year, still another place...
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 17:52:33 +0100

Richard Fitzpatrick <fitzmor.NO.SPAM.webone.com.au> writes
> * lots of those small-format WW2 comics^W"graphic novelettes";

Gad! First Uncle Ian strips away 25 years with his mourning of the passing of bright shiny yellow Gollancz books, causing the insides of my skull to echo with long-forgotten names like Christopher Priest, Damon Knight, Keith Laumer, Robert Sheckley and Clifford Simak (as well as some so long-forgotten their names have been, well, forgotten, like that geezer who wrote about ships taking shortcuts through the earth's mantle using something called, ISTR, the Tau effect, which for some reason seems to have stayed with me), then FL strips away a further 10 by mentioning those little WW2 comics. By this stage, most rhodents have regressed to mewling & puking babes, whilst potu isn't even a zygote. I've had to discard my frilly shirt and flares (occasioned by Hetta's yearnings for the days of "Department S" and "The Champions") and don an itchy woollen school uniform, improved at least marginally by the fact that we weren't expected to wear shorts.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
-Admittedly, it got a bit cold round the dangly bits in midwinter--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Oh. That explains the bright orange dandruff...
From: google.unitedheroes.net (TechnoAtheist)
Date: 4 Jun 2002 13:56:05 -0700

Hi.

Uhm, Hello. Can I help you?

You don't recognize me?

Uhm, no. but ont the bright side, I don't really encounter that many talking, floating gray masses.

You silly! It's me! Your Brain!

My what?

Your Brain, your cerebral cortex and adjoining masses, you know, the thinky bits.

Uh, don't I need you to be, I don't know, in my head or something?

Well, yes, normally, but you wouldn't give me any time off, so I skipped out.

You skipped...

Yep, granted it was hard finding someone to step in and fill the spot, but your Spleen was looking to do something new for a bit. I think he wanted to express his creative side and fill the space with cheese doodles.

CHEESE DOODLES!?

Heh, Yeah, quite the performance artist, that spleen. Just be thankful he got over that whole carnivorous beetle phase. Anyway I figured I probably should drop by quick and say 'Hi', so "Hi!"

Look, uhm, brain? While I appreciate the need to unwind I really think I kind of need you actually in my head.

Oh, no, you're much better off like this?

I am?

Oh, you bet. Right before I left you weren't really using me anyway. Just running around saying "Look, I'm a Cowboy! Lookee, I'm a Pirate! Lookee I'm Man's inner conflict expressed as a deep longing intersperced with wanton greed, HowdyHowdyHowdy!"

Ooh, I was?

You bet. Frankly, it scared the cat. He's just not the same.

I have a cat?

Look at him, he's just lying there in the sun, not doing anything.

That's what cats do, isn't it?

Oh yeah! You're right. Come to think of it, you don't even have a cat, that's a lamp. Gee, I guess I still need to go wander some more. Well, I'm off!

Hey, Wait a minute! Don't I need you to, I dunno, control involuntary muscles and regulate glands and stuff?

No, Silly! You're a programmer. You just sit around most of the time anyway. Trust me, those Cheese Doodles are more than enough, and if you're really in a pinch just grab a can of caffine or something.

Isn't that bad for me?

Yes, just don't think about it.

Actually, that's probably not a big problem for you right now is it?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Psssssssssssssssssssssssst
From: pieceoftheuniverse <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Wed, 05 Jun 2002 13:20:49 -0600

Psssssssssssssssssssssssst.

Hey, over here.

Yeah, you, the one with the twelve metric tons of whipped cream.

Okay, I'll let you finish first.

Finally! What'd you do ... no, wait, never mind. I don't want to know.

Anyway, I heard this *rumor*, from a *trusted* *source*, y'understand, that there maybe, just maybe, might be a FAQ.

For this froup.

It's not finished, of course; not by half. But it exists.

And it's over here:
http://www.pieceoftheuniverse.com/rhod/faq.shtml

Scary, in'it?

And I hear they're holding the memorial service for that poor defenseless in-joke tomorrow. Boy, the body's not even cold ... some folks just have the nerve, don't they?

I'll piss off now, but spread the word. The more people we tell, the sooner we can beat this blaggart into a bloody pulp.

Just, uh, don't tell 'im I sent you. Us, I mean. Yeah.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bad habits in Arcata
From: Eli the Bearded <*.qz.little-neck.ny.us>
Date: Fri, 7 Jun 2002 18:10:55 +0000 (UTC)

Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au> wrote:
> "Friday, September 15
> 7:34 p.m. The mayor reported people with dogs smoking on the Plaza. Whoever was there left when police arrived, which was the whole idea."
>
> These people are truly depraved to let their dogs smoke.

I watched a William Wegman film short a few years ago in which he tried to get one of his dogs to smoke. The dog would have nothing to do with it.

Elijah
------
the dog probably was Man Ray


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bad habits in Arcata
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: 7 Jun 2002 18:26:25 GMT

Eli the Bearded <*.qz.little-neck.ny.us> said:
> I watched a William Wegman film short a few years ago in which he tried to get one of his dogs to smoke. The dog would have nothing to do with it.

He probably wasn't heating the dog hot enough.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have nothing to do with anything


Newsgroups: alt.games.lucas-arts.monkey-island,rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Obligatory W0000H!!!!
From: "*Alessandro*" <inetman99.hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 17:03:50 +0200

GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com> wrote:
> Hmm...
> Rhodites, it seems we are being studied. A take-over plot, perhaps?

Oh, I just did my homework like a good newbie RHODite, willing to work his/her/its way to the RHODemption ; )

<(...) Yes, sir, I realize that. (...) No, sir, they can't possibly kno- (...) He- he was just guessing, sir, I- (...) Yes, sir, I will. Consider it done, sir. *CLICK*>


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Obligatory W0000H!!!!
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: Fri, 14 Jun 2002 06:07:18 -0500

*Alessandro* wrote:
} but I've just realized I wouldn't be able to answer that simple question without the said amount of pointing. Not literally translating the answer I would give in Italian, at least: I would need to reformulate the sentence in order to avoid gestures.

This is apparently true of most (all?) native Italians. My brother did one of his tours with the Air Force in Italy. He bet someone on base that he wouldn't be able to talk without moving his arms. After the expected "can too!", he then stood behind the guy and held his arms at his waist. When the guy tried to talk, his mouth would open, but the ensuing struggle prevented any words from coming out. Even after he got used to the restraint, he still couldn't speak. When my brother told me that story, I thought he was just putting me on, but now I'm not so sure...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Obligatory W0000H!!!!
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com>
Date: Sat, 15 Jun 2002 00:04:28 +1000

*Alessandro* wrote:
>And now I think that during the break I'm going to ask one of my colleagues if he can talk without moving his arms... Should I discover something interesting I will post it.
>But, unless he found a quite unique case of psycho-motorial short-circuit, I guess your brother *was* just putting you on ; )

Italian arm talking!
Al's brother's experiment has been conducted many times in the pubs of North Queensland, and it is documented on many a beer coaster that NO Italian can speak and keep arms still at the same time. This applies to both sexes (please refer to a past post about scary Italian Mamas).

--
GW De Lacey 'It's a well known fact.'


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Recurring spam
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Mon, 10 Jun 2002 10:46:50 -0600

Usually I don't get much spam, but there's one recently that's been trying very hard to get my attention. But I still have no idea what they're even attempting to tell me.

Well, I have a small idea. The subject line is "Septic Tank Do's and Don'ts".

It's a little hard to imagine anyone selling septic tank maintenance services over the internet. Maybe it's some kind of chemical they're selling that they want you to flush down the toilet?

The thing is that this spammer is so incredibly incompetent that I can only guess at the actual purpose. The message, you see, is base-64 encoded, and so my mail reader just gives me a page or so of random characters where their message might be.

Which is probably for the best.

This spam also stands as one of the few remaining y2k bugs I'm seeing these days. The most recent one was sent on "Fri Jun 09, 102". I think you can get this kind of error if (a) you're using Perl and (b) you're really stupid. There might be other cases. I had this error in a Perl script at one point but I fixed it sometime in 1997. My mail reader's too smart for them, though; it sees that "102" is clearly less than "2002", so it sorts these messages at the other end of the list from all my actual mail.

I get this message all the time these days. It's easily the most frequent spam I see. I'm thinking that maybe it's time I got myself a septic tank just so I can take advantage of this incredible offer. Whatever it might be.



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