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2002 03 a.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In limbo
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: 1 Mar 2002 18:24:37 GMT

davehinz.spamcop.net <davehinz.spamcop.net> said:
> TimC <tcon.no.physics.spam.usyd.accepted.edu.here.au> wrote:
>> Random URL time:
>> http://koti.mbnet.fi/~soldier/towboat.htm
>> hehehehehe.
> Impressive. Do you suppose he was able to get his barges back? Anyone know what kind of action was taken against him and/or the owners of the boat?

Probably best to just say nothing and let it be just water under the bridge.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies will show him out


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In limbo
From: davehinz.spamcop.net
Date: 1 Mar 2002 20:04:00 GMT

Daniel E. Macks <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> wrote:
> Probably best to just say nothing and let it be just water under the bridge.

He apparently did get tipped...

Dave "OK, *now* what? A sigmonster isn't a complicated beast after all." Hinz


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In limbo
From: Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com>
Date: Tue, 12 Mar 2002 16:17:31 GMT

"Daniel E. Macks" wrote:
<snip>
> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies think y'all need to get out of rec. more often

I hear it's scary out there. There's a bunch of weirdos talking about all kinds of things that Man Was Not Meant To Know.

Wait...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In limbo
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Fri, 15 Mar 2002 22:22:23 +1100

m_init(): spawning followupTo('SaraM')...done.
>(I've started some things I have rued,
>But regret a cascade? - Never!
>Why - next to puns they're my favoutite things
>Though perhaps not *quite* so clever 8) )
>taunttaunttaunt

I thought I should tell you that while you were away, we voted you the Official Poster-Girl of RHOD. We even made a 2002 EGK Calendar - I've got one at work.

Unfortunately, this being a textual medium, nobody has any idea what you look like, so all twelve pages just say "Sara M" or "EGK" in various fonts and sizes.

Screwtape,
...Ahh, Lenuig: "We're too concerned with the Calendar, and not enough with the Collander. Calendars are lacking souls; collanders are bowls with holes..!"


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: In limbo
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Sat, 16 Mar 2002 01:34:49 +1100

Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
> SaraM wrote:
> >Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
> >> Daniel E. Macks wrote ...
> >> >dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies think y'all need to get out of rec. more often
> >> Indeed. This very incident has been discussed to (an illuminating, at least) death in alt.folklore.urban.
> >> Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti wonders if maths legends use eigen vectors.
> >Gee - I always wondered what "pocket protector" was in German...
> Thank ghod you're back EGK.

Whoa - careful - you could poke someone's eye out with that.

> You *know* what we boys are like when you and Viki are away too long.

Yeah, but that better not be some of MY lipstick you've used on those sheep...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: An intermission
From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
Date: Fri, 01 Mar 2002 12:45:00 +1100

tcon.no.physics.spam.usyd.accepted.edu.here.au (TimC) wrote:
> What was with that shower scene in last night Star Trek?

I really don't know. I wondered about it at the time and even made the effort of going through it frame by frame several times to ensure that I had not missed anything significant to the story. I could not find anything, but throughout the remainder of the episode I was amused to find that they kept mispronouncing N'Pol's name.

Ian.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Godel Escher Bach
From: Jim Evans <jevans.physics.uottawa.ca>
Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2002 21:50:02 -0500

Comrade Screwtape wrote:
> Screwtape,
> ...who still likes the 19" rackmountable goat.

No wonder Daisy's been scarce lately.

JIM


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Godel Escher Bach
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Tue, 05 Mar 2002 10:13:11 -0700

Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com> wrote:
> Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
> > Screwtape wrote in message ...
> > >m_init(): spawning follow-up To('Richard Fitzpatrick')...done.
> > >>Organisation: Church of the Unitarian Universal Set
> > >Really? Tell me, does the Church of the Unitarian Universal Set contain itself?
> > So is set out in the Holy Parentheses.
> In the name of the paran, the bracket, and the curly braces, forever and ever, or until logical operators change the set, amen.

They're the ones with the alternate version of the book of Revelation, right? The one that talks about the four punctuation marks of the apocalypse?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: and do you work?
From: "Nassif!!" <nassifspamless.mindspring.com>
Date: Fri, 01 Mar 2002 18:50:51 -0800

Ken Adams wrote:
> Jeffrey Kaplan <postmaster.gordol.org> wrote:
> >Sid wrote:
> >; >It's a microbe's life in Sid's lower intestine.
> >; Yeah, but life is full of twists and turns there.
> >
> >You are in a maze of twisty intestines, all alike.
>
> >N
>
> You are in a maze of twisty intestines, all alike.
>
> >W
>
> You are in a maze of twisty intestines, all alike.
>
> >S
>
> You are in a maze of twisty intestines, all alike.
>
> >S
>
> You are in the appendix.
> There is an abcess here.

> > rm appendix

I'm not so sure that's a good idea

> > rm appendix

You didn't use the magic word.

> > rm appendix please

That's not the magic word.

> > rm -rf appendix

Sid's appendix has been removed.
Suddenly, a gaping hole appears where Sid's appendix was. What appeared to have been an abcess was actually a birthmark.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spike
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.locall.aunz.com>
Date: Sun, 03 Mar 2002 00:03:54 +1100

'Donald Welsh' wrote:
> Barry <friend.public.com> wrote:
>>Rest in peas.
>I don't know whether Spike wrote the lyrics, but the Tigger Song Book notes that "Ying Tong Iddle I Po" is a universal filk, and fits any melody.
>What a genius.

More than a lot of people realise. For 8 years he (mostly) single handedly produced a script per week for a half hour of non-stop radio comedy that was completely original, not only in content but also in form. It's been said that the Goon Show was mostly ad-lib by three very clever actors. That's rubbish - the shows were very tightly scripted by Milligan. Ad-lib was in fact rare, and mostly a result of one of the actors losing his place in the script (gems of course, when they did occur).(1) Really, the work-load for Milligan was mind boggling, made more so by his on-going fight with "The Black Dog" (depression). Milligan of course paved the way for the golden age of British comedy. He has said (and I believe him) that there would never have been a Monty Python without his "Q" series. A rare genius indeed.

--
GW DE Lacey

1. My Source? An ex who was a British writer-actress, and who knew Milligan. She had collected a few of his Goon scripts, which she showed me.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Quick question...
From: google.unitedheroes.net (TechnoAtheist)
Date: 1 Mar 2002 17:58:01 -0800

A group of monkeys doodling in the corner (ooh, you lot) claiming to be Nathan F Russell <nrussell.acsu.buffalo.edu> wrote:
> Hi all,
>
> I tend to get really creative with tellme's, often writing them in the margin of my assignment pad at random times (I'm a college kid). I don't always find that I can think of a decent answer to the askme's, however, and feel guilty when I get one after sending a tellme, and can't figure out whether to give a halfway-decent answer or just delete it.
>
> Any input would be welcome!
>
> Nathan


Hello Nathan,
(No, not that one, a new one. nevermind, i'm confusing myself)

Chances are you're probably being too hard on yourself. But then don't feel that you are neccessarily obligated to answer them if you genuinely feel you can't. Everyone has their own strengths.

There, that's done.

Now for the proper response.

Fie! Those that do not commit themselves wholly to the neverending task are weak! You should be like Conan, endlessly toiling answering and submitting questions like pushing that big wheel thingy out in the middle of nowhere until you either drop or the really big spring thing goes FWEEEEEE and whacks the hell out of everone when it unwinds. Sure it's a thankless task frought with sweat and toil, but think of the muscles you'll get. Ok, so it's more like comedy muscles than the ones that will actually get you a date, but you'll be clever of wit when the big jock speeds by in a convertible full of giggling busty blondes, and you'll point out that *YOU* don't need a thirty-six thousand dollar penis extender, but of course Jocko won't hear you because he'll already be a couple of miles down the road by that point, but all the guys in the lab will be rolling (well, except for Russell, who never really got any of the jokes, but since he's always willing to go get sodas, it's not so bad).

Uhm, not that I speak from personal experience or anything.

Just ask Russell.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Moving Day.
From: "Daniel Glick" <dg371.i5.nyu.edu>
Date: Wed, 06 Mar 2002 21:22:57 GMT

"Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> wrote...
[snip]
> s/work/"work"/
> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies hope his advisor isn't saying the same thing about him

I don't know about you; I've never had an advisor who talks in regexps.

Unless they only do it amongst themselves...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: inproper nouns
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: 6 Mar 2002 07:15:10 GMT

Nassif!! <nassifspamless.mindspring.com> said:
> Robot Karate Man wrote:
>> TimC wrote:
>> > My girlfriend is an improper nun. At least she wants to be. I am now waiting for photos of her cleavage from her last party : )
>> Nuns show cleavage at parties?
>> ~Steve-o
>> wondering why he's not catholic.
> Don't wonder too much until you know precisely _which_ part of the body is cleaving.
> Nassif!!
> Whose dark brown siamese fighting ferrets had some teachers in catholic high school who could've been body doubles for plumbers.

If they were any good as plumbers, one wouldn't see so many little basins of water scattered about the church.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wonder why there's a window between the stalls


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: inproper nouns
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Tue, 5 Mar 2002 01:48:18 +1100

m_init(): spawning followupTo('TimC')...done.
>See, when I created one of my email addresses, at.dotat.dot.atdot.org, I thought no-one could possibly beat that. I was wrong. I am now thinking, that the longest, most cool and froody address out there is http://strange.and.wacky.duck.shaped.penguins.that.are.puzzling.org/

You might recall that Mary has a creative.net email addy. Doing a host -l on that domain at Uni once, we discovered (as well as the usual www., ftp., and so forth) the domain

when.it.comes.to.sex.im.especially.creative.net

...which was rather a surprise to all concerned.

Screwtape,
...ISTR Charles' email addy is dotdotdot at atdot.org


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Oldest gag alive
From: dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
Date: Tue, 05 Mar 2002 02:03:36 GMT

"Daniel Glick" <dg371.i5.nyu.edu> wrote:
>"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.despam.webone.com.au>...
>> Fibber.
>Free Willy!

You're just saying that to get Viki's attention.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Oldest gag alive
From: "Daniel Glick" <dg371.i5.nyu.edu>
Date: Tue, 05 Mar 2002 21:15:15 GMT

"Ian Davis" <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au> wrote...
> "Daniel Glick" <dg371.i5.nyu.edu> wrote:
> > I've been experiencing what is sometimes called life, I guess.
> Many would say that this beats the alternative.

I've heard of a lot of weird stuff in rhod... but necroflagellation?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Oldest gag alive
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: 5 Mar 2002 21:56:51 GMT

Daniel Glick <dg371.i5.nyu.edu> said:
> I've heard of a lot of weird stuff in rhod... but necroflagellation?

Until the Viagra kicks in, yes.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can't have any pudding if they don't beat their meat


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Oldest gag alive
From: Ian Davis <Ian.Davis.ludwig.edu.au>
Date: Wed, 06 Mar 2002 13:04:49 +1100

"Daniel Glick" <dg371.i5.nyu.edu> wrote:
> I've heard of a lot of weird stuff in rhod... but necroflagellation?

OK, OK, sheesh. No need to beat a dead horse.

Ian.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Oldest gag alive
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: 6 Mar 2002 06:12:09 GMT

TechnoAtheist <TA.SpamIsBad.grayhoundchronicles.com> said:
> Ian Davis wrote:
>>OK, OK, sheesh. No need to beat a dead horse.
> Damn.
> Now what the heck am I gonna do with Mr. Ed?

A corpse of a horse? Of course of course.
And no one can talk as a corpse of course!
That lifeless corpse with no life force
Was the famous Mister Ed!

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wonder if carpenters can be hired for stud service


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Oldest gag alive
From: "Lord Insidious, World Dominator" <calieber.bigfoot.com>
Date: Tue, 12 Mar 2002 17:12:54 GMT

Daniel Glick wrote
>I've heard of a lot of weird stuff in rhod... but necroflagellation?

Equine, at least.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: 'nother URL
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Fri, 08 Mar 2002 13:30:51 -0700

vvidt.netscape.net (Viki) wrote:
> http://members.tripod.com/~JBarton/index.htm
> No explanation given.

Gah! I got TWO pop up ads for N-sync! My eyes! aaahhh!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: No, that can't be right ...
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Mon, 11 Mar 2002 21:07:41 -0700

Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com> wrote:
> Ian Davis wrote:
> } pieceoftheuniverse wrote:
> } > Moby Dick, by Harlan Ellison.
> } > That can't be right ...
> } Harlan's always been miffed that he never got proper credit for that.
> Funny, I've always thought it was written by Frank Zappa.

This book predicted the death of Princess Di. See "Princess Di in Moby Dick" at <http://cs.anu.edu.au/~bdm/dilugim/diana.html>.

Tom, who guesses that "Moby Dick in Princess Di" would have been more fun.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: No, that can't be right ...
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Tue, 12 Mar 2002 15:35:02 -0700

"Bugrrit" <Igor.stenchorama.cm> wrote:
> "pieceoftheuniverse" scribbled:
> > Moby Dick, by Harlan Ellison.
> > That can't be right ...
> Sorry to bother you lot with my presence once again. Couldn't resist posting this:
> "With the Internet, the greatest disseminator of bad data and bad information the universe has ever known, it's become impossible to trust any news from any source at all, because it's all filtered through this crazy yenta gossip line. It's impossible to know anything."
> And the magic wand I've read this on:
> http://avclub.theonion.com/avclub3407/avfeature3407.html

This is one of those Star Trek-style logic puzzles, like Kirk would use to make computers blow up, right? If I belive this quote, I have to assume it's bullshit, because I read it online. On the other hand, if it's bullshit, that proves it's true.

Does not compute... does not compute... *BOOM*


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Meta-OT Was Re: WAY OT!!! Was Re: Internet Oracularities Digest #1253
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: 12 Mar 2002 07:07:14 GMT

Nassif!! <nassifspamless.mindspring.com> said:
> Eli the Bearded wrote:
>> Thomas Koenig <Thomas.Koenig.online.de> wrote:
>> > Eli the Bearded <*.qz.little-neck.ny.us> wrote:
>> > >Yeah, but I was so pleased to see that 1248-10 got a 3.3, I didn't pay much attention. I think that is the highest vote on anything I've had a part in.
>> > I was kind of proud of 1245-07. I hadn't done things Oracular
>> <checks> Woohoo, still in the news spool here, I guess that new server does have a much longer expire. Hmm. I thought 1245-06 was the star of that one. That plus a few other recent ones I've read really has made me think: how can I put lists of things into my answers. Such as listing the faults of spammers (and listing the spam in the spammer's inbox) in 1248-10.
>> > for a loooong time; 368-09 was the only one I ever got then.
>> That one's too old for the newsspool. <checks web> But it is a good one.
> OK, you guys... If you're going to go this far off-topic, at least let the rest of us know in the subject line.
> furrfu...

Yeah...someboy oughta set up a froup for rec.humor.oracle discussions.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies know the secret hand-shake


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Meta-OT Was Re: WAY OT!!! Was Re: Internet Oracularities Digest #1253
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: Tue, 12 Mar 2002 13:33:42 -0600

Daniel E. Macks wrote:
> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies know the secret hand-shake

You know, that's something I've always wondered. In the picture in the handbook, why does it look like one of the hands doesn't have any fingers?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Meta-OT Was Re: WAY OT!!! Was Re: Internet Oracularities Digest #1253
From: davehinz.spamcop.net
Date: 12 Mar 2002 22:06:19 GMT

Daniel E. Macks <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> wrote:
> Yeah...someboy oughta set up a froup for rec.humor.oracle discussions.

Yeah right, Dan. I don't think that that sort of a group would attract the right kind of people; you'd be likely to get some twisted group of wierdos or something.

> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies know the secret hand-shake

There is no secret handshake, *remember*?



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