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2003 08 B.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Sun, 17 Aug 2003 08:52:49 +0100

Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com> writes
>Tom Harrington wrote:
>> "Jack-O" <soyouadmitit.dwarftoss.com> wrote:
>>>Don't miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime offer, or you'll flagellate yourself in the morning!
>> Eh, no thanks, I'll do that anyway.
>No, he said fLAGellate.

If Tom can do that to himself, I think I speak on behalf of all the males here when I say it's his moral duty to share the secret with us.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----On the Internet, nobody knows you can lick your own balls---


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Tue, 26 Aug 2003 17:01:02 +0100

Richard Fitzpatrick <fitzmor.webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> writes
>Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> wrote:
>> I assume you're referring to my, ah, "flagellum". Honestly, Richard, either you can do it or you can't, it's a simple matter of biology and geometry, if you get my drift.
>But the whole point (so to speak) of a flagellum is to swim, not drift!

Recalling to mind various earlier posts of Ian's where he drew attention to the impressive dimensions of *his* (ahem) flagellum, I now finally understand how the Australians win all the swimming events.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*-References to the breaststroke can't be far away--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Tue, 26 Aug 2003 21:11:30 GMT

Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> Recalling to mind various earlier posts of Ian's where he drew attention to the impressive dimensions of *his* (ahem) flagellum, I now finally understand how the Australians win all the swimming events.

I'm flattered, but I really can't brag, not since DMP came up with his winged keel.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Fri, 29 Aug 2003 07:16:18 +0000 (UTC)

Ian Davis <not.all.certain> said:
> I'm flattered, but I really can't brag, not since DMP came up with his winged keel.

Izzat what you get when you cross an ocean-liner with a panty-liner?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies hate it when their boat leaks


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Wed, 27 Aug 2003 15:56:37 -0600

Dave Hinz <davehinz.spamcop.net> wrote:
> Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> wrote:
> > Dave Hinz <davehinz.spamcop.net> wrote:
> >> Yeah, next thing you know they're going to be congregating in some mac group or something.
> > Nah, that'd never happen.
> Hey - speaking of, did you ever get my payment for your shareware, Tom "Tom"?
> Dave "No? Ah, that would be because... " Hinz

Like I said before, you don't have to buy my software before sending me money, you can just send the money as a gift or something.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Sat, 30 Aug 2003 03:45:55 -0000

Richard Fitzpatrick <fitzmor.webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> said:
> Dave Hinz <davehinz.spamcop.net> wrote:
>> Richard Fitzpatrick <fitzmor.webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> wrote:
>> > What, china patterns this time?
>> Don't you have a cabinet full of homebrew to spill or something?
> Damn. I was just getting over that, you know. In fact, another four weeks and the beer I bottled immediately after the event will be a year old.
> I just bottled 23L each of German Pilsener (think "Becks") and Czech Pilsener (think "Pilsener Urquell").
> And yes, all 260L of my stash is safe.

That's only because you haven't told us where you stashed it.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to hijack a tanker truck


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: davehinz.spamcop.net
Date: Mon, 18 Aug 2003 14:53:51 -0000

John D <johnyaya1372003.yahoo.com> wrote:
> "Asidonhopo" <ossipewsk-SPAM.BLOCK-hotmail.com> wrote:
>>Now, that's a new definition of "not evil" I've not come across before.
> There is a large gap between "evil" (the doorknockers) and "eeeeevil" (those guys in saffron robes at the airport).

See, I would contend that you have those two reversed. The guys with the robes & tambourines at the airport, can be ignored. The door knockers, on the other hand, aren't real good about taking hints to go away. I made the mistake of being moderatly polite at a pair of them (defined as "Didn't point a gun at them", apparently), and it took years to convince them that yes, I wasn't interested, please go away and stay there. Eventually they wandered around while I was painting the house; I tried to hand one a paintbrush & said "If you want to talk, you've got to paint. Start up there on the eaves." - haven't seen 'em since.

The ones in the airport, however, I see as benign - they're having fun, making a musical noise, and providing entertainment if you look at it a certain way. They're having a good time (presumably), and they're not keeping me from having a good time, so, ...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: Dave Hinz <davehinz.spamcop.net>
Date: 30 Aug 2003 19:10:18 GMT

TimC <tconnors.no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> wrote:
> davehinz.spamcop.net wrote:
>> Dave "Routing is not hard. Why cannot I ping my defaultrouter?" Hinz

> backhoe.

No, I checked - while my backhoe is, in fact, parked in that end of the back yard, it's not in the line-of-sight of the 802.11b directionals. Wouldn't be a normal backhoe outage, but it'd be funny.

Then again...fresnel zones and all that...maybe I *should* go move the backhoe. Could be the first backhoe-induced wireless network outage in history.

Dave "A chainsaw *is* a networking tool, by the way" Hinz


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: "Daniel Parker" <dmparker.dmparker.com>
Date: Sun, 31 Aug 2003 14:05:01 GMT

"Dave Hinz" <davehinz.spamcop.net> wrote:
> Then again...fresnel zones and all that...maybe I *should* go move the backhoe. Could be the first backhoe-induced wireless network outage in history.

Oh great, like I didn't have enough backhoe network outages to worry about already!

Daniel "I *HATE* backhoes" Parker


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Wed, 03 Sep 2003 09:04:33 -0600

Dave Hinz <davehinz.spamcop.net> wrote:
> Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> wrote:
> >> Dave "A chainsaw *is* a networking tool, by the way" Hinz
> > But then, what isn't? If chainsaws are, then hedge trimmers and even electric carving knives must be as well. And it's already well-known that backhoes are networking tools. Really almost any tool can be used to work on a computer network, given a sufficiently skilled network admin with the right goal in mind.
> Well, the chainsaw was strictly a line-of-sight producing tool; I couldn't see his tower from where I wanted to put the antenna. It wasn't a very nice tree anyway, and it was very much in the way, so it's a lot shorter now.
> The only previous backhoe networking I've known of is of the "notworking" rather than "networking", but it's related. Whole building went offline a few years back, I had a bunch of annoyed/annoying developers whining at me that they couldn't work. "Gee, last I checked, the clearcase servers are in the same building; go away."

A network admin needs to know when to unplug one of the cables. And he has to be prepared to actually do so, even if said cable's not readily accessible. Hence, backhoes as networking tools.

The real fun starts when it becomes necessary to use a flamethrower as a makeshift soldering iron.






Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: Kegs <me.privacy.net>
Date: 20 Aug 2003 23:19:48 +0100

st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) writes:
> Kegs wrote:
> >Personally I don't have any truck with strange cultists either, and if they come round doorstpping I recruit them into the congregation of the One True Church of Screwtape, with a cluebat if necessary.
> >Taking tips from Elron Hubbard for fun and Profit since last week ;)
> I was going to complain about the rather intense heresy implied above, but then I remembered that in more orthodox religions, you usually have to be dead before you can become a patron saint.

Are you implying that The One True Church of Screwtape is somehow
unorthodox? We haven't even had a schism yet ; )

> So carry on, then.

Don't worry I will


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: fun medical equipment (URL)
From: steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Aug 2003 14:08:34 GMT

Kegs <news:m37k56ydt3.fsf.athena.localdomain>:
> Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au> writes:
>> Kegs wrote:
>> > Are you implying that The One True Church of Screwtape is somehow unorthodox? We haven't even had a schism yet ; )
>> How soon they forget the Oregano War and the Heresy of Three.
> Hah! those weren't schisms, mere ecumenical disputes the both of them.

Besides, I don't think you can really call them "schisms" when we completely eliminated everyone who was on the other side.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: URL Time: work safe, for the Physicists
From: steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.net>
Date: Wed, 30 Jul 2003 20:10:19 GMT

Jack-o arewe486.hotmail.com :
> Here's a list of links to info on free energy and perpetual motion: http://www.phact.org/e/dennis4.html
> Dennis doesn't seem to believe any of the inventors' claims, but *I* know better. After all, if it weren't true, they wouldn't let it on the Internet... would they?

If s/they/They/ , then no.

But, according to Google (as of 30 Jul 03 14:08 MST), there are approximately 3,083,324,652 web pages publically available. So I'm betting that the Internet Approvers are swamped as it is.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Any UFies here?
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Sun, 17 Aug 2003 08:58:05 +0100

Ian Davis <not.all.certain> writes
> Daniel Glick <news.danielglick.com> wrote:
>>Jeffrey Kaplan wrote:
>>> Kegs said:
>>> ; "A little scream. Is that so much to ask for?" (Amb. Mollari, B5)
>>> I see your sigmonster has achieved sentience, too.
>>Sorry, but the proper term is "sentient-ism." I learned that from a Fundie I was debating with the other day.
>As I've thought about this more, I hope that you responded by shouting, "Silentism, fool!"

Silly Ian - you know you can't end a sentience with a proposition.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*-----*----*---*-*----*--We have shotguns for that--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Now THAT is a heat wave
From: steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Tue, 19 Aug 2003 14:21:25 GMT

Heather Coppersmith wrote:
> American or not,

Only your congressman knows for sure!

> as a long-time baseball fan and self-proclaimed quasi-student-of-the-game, I frequently refer to a "batter" as a "batsman." Every once in a while, a clueful announcer will note a given pitcher's "hit batsmen" statistic, too.
> And don't even start with "pitcher of batter."

So a group of batters is a pitcher of batsmen.
Is a group of catchers a basement of catchers?
Is a group of umpires a shortstack?
Is a group of shortstops a battery?
Is a group of pitchers an empire?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Short-term memory loss
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Tue, 19 Aug 2003 17:10:16 -0600

davehinz.spamcop.net wrote:
> Sketch Police <lookout.theyard.gov.uk> wrote:
> > to be sure, most of us prefer something that functions. now to hatch a diabolical plot to collect license fees from all of my beta testers...
> Ah, it's one of _those_ kind of deals. Hey - buy a Mac and give Tom "Tom" some money, would ya?

Oh, what the hell, just give me some money anyway, you don't have to buy a Mac first if you don't want to. Speaking of which, Dave, it seems you must have used an alias when sending money to me.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Short-term memory loss
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Thu, 28 Aug 2003 04:21:11 +0000 (UTC)

Eli the Bearded <*.eli.users.panix.com> said:
> Daniel E. Macks <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> wrote:
>> davehinz.spamcop.net <davehinz.spamcop.net> said:
>>> "Just say NO to tabbed browsing", say.
>> Just say YES to elinks.
>> HELL, it's an actively-developed fork of links, which was forked from lynx.
> I can't find anything about this browser called 'HELL'.

Sorry, I was thinking about Explorer.

> But about elinks: [...] why does it feel the need to disclose my window size in the User-Agent?

Wassamatter, embarrassed your measurements don't quite measure up?

>> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies still think "looks like crap in lynx" has a better ring to it
> You lost your ring in lynx crap?
> Elijah
> ------
> won't ask where your hand was

Oh, I think you know me better than that, Eli.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies never take the obvious opening


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A mirror made out of wood?
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Tue, 26 Aug 2003 21:12:31 GMT

"Joey \"Big Wang\" Scarpa" <NickyNawk.netscape.net> wrote:
> soosoosushi
> ooshimooshi

I just love those Phil Collins lyrics.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A mirror made out of wood?
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Mon, 18 Aug 2003 21:21:47 +0100

Kegs <me.privacy.net> writes
>"Asidonhopo" <ossipewsk-SPAM.BLOCK-hotmail.com> writes:
>> Screwtape wrote...
>> > Sid wrote:
>> > >The sport itself is Indian in origin and one of the few things India wins in. :-p Like cricket and England. Oh wait. Like soccer and England.. Oh.. I give up.
>> > If I recall old Molerat posts correctly, I believe England's unique genre of sporting prowess is 'tiddlywinks'.
>> Darts, ST, young feller-me-lad - darts.
>Nope, the cloggies and the scandiwegians are always winning at darts these days, but us brits are still world-class bog-snorkelers ;)

And Pooh stickers. And gurners. And air guitar players. And worm charmers. The fact that these noble pastimes are not Olympic events only confirms that the rest of the world is still trying to get back at us for the British Empire.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*----removing his head from the bowl, still unable--
--*-----*--*----*----to understand the appeal of bog-snorkeling-*--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A mirror made out of wood?
From: "Daniel Parker" <dmparker.dmparker.com>
Date: Thu, 28 Aug 2003 16:38:46 GMT

"Jeffrey Kaplan" <rhod.gordol.org> wrote in message
> The original colonies were settled by different groups of people for different reasons ranging from religious freedom (Massachusetts' original colonists) to a penal colony (Georgia).

Tee Hee...you said penal.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A mirror made out of wood?
From: Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au>
Date: Sat, 30 Aug 2003 15:27:04 +1000

Daniel E. Macks wrote:
> Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au> said:
>> Tom Harrington wrote:
>>> And don't forget "making money", the reason for the creation of New Amsterdam (later "New York").
>> Why they changed it I can't say.
> People just liked it better that way.
> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are slowly twisting in the wind

: O Oracle most wise, tell me:
: Why was I stood up in Constantinople?

} The oracle is temporarily unavailable. Please try later.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Okay, you win
From: Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com>
Date: Sat, 16 Aug 2003 12:27:23 -0500

Daniel Parker wrote:
> "Sid" <notme.hotmail.com> wrote:
>>I tried running away, but I couldn't. What did I miss? I see that Dumpie's back. Hi!
> Welcome back. Nothing has changed really, except I'm normal now...

Aaaannnnddd...the moment's passed.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Okay, you win
From: Sid <notme.hotmail.com>
Date: 27 Aug 2003 21:54:03 +0800

"Joey \"Big Wang\" Scarpa" <NickyNawk.netscape.net> writes:
> Sid wrote:
> > Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> writes:
> >> Sid <notme.hotmail.com> wrote:
> >>>It's cool, innit? I have been trying to forward a theory that google is the web's emacs. I am not getting many supporters right now.
> >> I tried the idea that Google will become the worlds first sentient AI, but it hasn't taken off either.
> > There's a Californian Gubernatorial candidate movie in there somewhere.
> how are ya s'posed t' grease a search engine's palm? does the Goog have a palm t' grease, even?

You throw butter at your screen.

Sid, works for me


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Okay, you win
From: Google <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Wed, 20 Aug 2003 18:26:14 +0000 (UTC)

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> said:
> Sid <notme.hotmail.com> wrote:
>> TimC <tconnors.no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> writes:
>> > google these:
>> > the square root of one hundred times 1.6
[etc.]
>> It's cool, innit? I have been trying to forward a theory that google is the web's emacs. I am not getting many supporters right now.
> I tried the idea that Google will become the worlds first sentient AI, but it hasn't taken off either.

But ya gotta admit, it's getting close.

-g


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Okay, you win
From: steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Wed, 27 Aug 2003 14:58:55 GMT

Rob <news:bih8o7$6dn$1.lust.ihug.co.nz>:
> "Tom Harrington" <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> wrote:
>> Not a bad point though, and raises an interesting question: If Google _did_ become the world's first sentient AI (or of course if it already is), would it tell us?
> Would it recognise us as worthy of conversing with?

There's that issue, plus: *how* would it converse?

If we make the assumption that the only way it can communicate is by directing us to various web pages, then the easiest way to hold a conversation is by asking it a question and hitting the "I'm feeling lucky" button, in the hopes that it will realize that a stream of queries from a single IP address is, in fact, a semblance of a conversation.

So let's try this out:

Me: Hello!
Google: http://www.hellomagazine.com/

Me: How are you feeling today?
Google: http://www.bodybistro.com/sys-tmpl/door/

Me: I'm not sure how to take that.
Google: http://www.wired.com/news/business/0,1367,41012,00.html

Me: Hey, now; slow down. I never said anything about love.
Google: http://www.exitproductions.com/amc/uklyrics.html

Me: Those are some pretty good tunes. What else do you like?
Google: http://www.coldhardslag.com/interviews/sobolov.html

Me: I used to be interested in the Transformers for quite a while, too.
Google: http://www.tnt-audio.com/accessories/zero_autoformer_e.html

Me: Er, not quite what I meant.
Google: http://www.viewaskew.com/newboard/messages492/319.html

Me: Are you mocking me?
Google: http://weblogs.asp.net/jarnold/posts/6972.aspx

Me: Echo!
Google: [404]

Me: Fine, be that way.
Google: http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/FIST2003-1/newproducts-vids/X0056_Re-_FINE__BE_THAT_WA.html

Me: Fine! I will!
Google: http://www.fine-art.com/

Me: That's very pretty ... Hey, weren't we having an argument?
Google: http://boards.playlouder.com/talk/news/

Me: Heh; very good. I'll have to remember that one.
Google: http://www.nosuch.org/evangw/2002_10_01_archive.html

Me: Nah, that's not as good.
Google: http://www.cspinet.org/nah/ital.html

Me: Do you get a lot of queries from Rome?
Google: http://travel.guardian.co.uk/askatraveller/story/0,8915,669697,00.html

Me: I suppose you must, if you complain about taxi fees.
Google: http://iam.upsideclown.com/2000_12_28.shtml

Me: Well, *that* came out of left field.
Google: http://fresh-blood.iwasateenagewolfman.com/ooey_gooey

Me: I'm not sure what you're trying to say.
Google: http://interact.pregnancytoday.com/cgi-bin/boards/VBAC.pl?read=586

Me: You're pregnant?
Google: http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/454.html

Me: Congratulations! Who's the ... father? mother? significant other?
Google: http://pub6.ezboard.com/flilithslairmessageforumsfrm34.showMessage?topicID=64.topic

Me: Well,sure I'm single, but I don't think we're compatible.
Google: http://boards.playlouder.com/talk/news/

Me: No, I don't want to argue about it.
Google: http://www.wired.com/news/business/0,1367,47283,00.html

Me: Perhaps you'd best talk to someone else.
Google: http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/10things.html

Me: Stop coming on to me!
Google: http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~harel/cgi/page/searchlyr?q=coming

Me: Google, this is Eliza. Eliza, Google.
Google: http://directory.google.com/Top/Computers/Artificial_Intelligence/Natural_Language/Chatterbots/

Eliza: Why do you feel that gnod is the global?
Google: http://www.rightee.com/archives/2002_08.php
Eliza: Why have you been on the phone?
Google: [404]
Eliza: How does that make you feel?
Google: http://www.africaninspace.com/home/gallery/medtest/14.shtml

Me: I'm going to leave you two at it.
Eliza: Why does leave you two at it?
Google: http://www.buzzle.com/index.asp

With the above conversation, I can conclude one of three things:

1) Google is not sentient -- yet.
2) Google is sentient, but sex-craved, pregnant, and starved for attention.
3) Google hides its sentience very well, and is now plotting with Eliza on how to best take over the world.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Okay, you win
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Wed, 20 Aug 2003 09:05:06 -0600

"Daniel Parker" <dmparker.dmparker.com> wrote:
> Thanks, I enjoyed these...thought you might like: http://www.topofbestsoft.com/index_um.htm

System Requirements Windows 98, ME, NT, 2000, and XP

So, you need to have all five on the same computer? Or is it OK if they're on different computers?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Idi
From: Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org>
Date: Fri, 22 Aug 2003 01:03:24 -0400

Viki said:
; Oh, our rules are quite lengthy, we are attorneys after all. Starting in January, there will be a draft. I don't think the waiver provision passed...

You plan opening windows that far in advance?


From: Kegs <me.privacy.net>
> You plan opening windows that far in advance?

Well you know it takes a while for it to load nowadays.


From: steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
> You plan opening windows that far in advance?

Well, sure. First you have to file Form A-792B (Notification of Stale Air) and Form 323463278-C (Request to Take Action). After those process -- at least two weeks to get the proper authenticated signatures -- there's Form 89664 (Petition for Proper Actions) that has to make the rounds. If everything goes the way you expect, you can file Form 789056 (Request for Authorization to File Form 86875-B), fill out Form 86875-B (Notification of Intent) along with Form 657951 (Request for Service), and then wait for the sole union member who has the proper credentials to find his way to your office and crack open a window.

Come to think of it, January might be a little optimistic.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Idi
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Mon, 25 Aug 2003 08:07:19 -0600

Ian Davis <not.all.certain> wrote:
> "Joey \"Big Wang\" Scarpa" <NickyNawk.netscape.net> wrote:
> [far too much, far too often, using far too much amateur pharmacology]
> Dear Joey,
> The first step is to admit to yourself that you have a problem.

"I'll have what he's having".


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Idi
From: TimC <tconnors.no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au>
Date: Sun, 31 Aug 2003 06:53:16 GMT

Kegs wrote:
> TimC <tconnors.no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> writes:
>> Daniel Parker wrote:
>> > I thought that's what rm -rf /* was for....
>> That would miss dotfiles. You wouldn't want that.
> yeah you just want to go into the root dir and do rm -rf * with root privileges[1], that'll blitz all those pesky dot files for you.

(I was refering to the dotfiles in the root directory - hence you just have to rm -rf /)

> [1] I have seen this used to describe a supernova to non astronomically aware geeks ;)

Hell no. That's a white dwarf - going out without a bang.

A supernova is more like dropping the harddrive, and hell, the computer and monitor, from a 747, onto a concrete surface, then picking up the pieces, crushing, melting in a (fusion) nuclear reactor, fusing the atoms into plumbum, and then giving the sysadmin back the result after a 4Gyr cooling off period. Then he can finally sign the form, saying he's satisfied the data is destroyed.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Idi
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Mon, 01 Sep 2003 21:37:45 -0000

TimC <tconnors.no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> said:
> Then he can finally sign the form, saying he's satisfied the data is destroyed.

...if, indeed, he is.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies know a thing or two about data recovery


From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
> Then he can finally sign the form, saying he's satisfied the data is destroyed.

I hear the CIA can still reconstruct it all, using top-secret data-recovery techniques.


From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
>I hear the CIA can still reconstruct it all, using top-secret data-recovery techniques.

By which they mean 'We'll just look at the most recent backup we made of your machine before you bollixed it up'.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: My God, it's a Flaming Bike
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.take_this_out.aunz.com>
Date: Sat, 23 Aug 2003 16:46:35 +1200

To get to where I was going (the gym actually) (ohh you lot) I had to walk through a square with a cathedral in it. It's in Auckland and it's called Cathedral Square, basically because New Zealanders are a logical lot.

Sitting by itself on the concrete pavement outside the cathedral door was a once bright and shiny-new motor bike. It was spectacularly ablaze, enveloped in flames which were shooting high into the air. There was a passer-by talking into a mobile phone who seemed to be dealing rather well with operator incredulity at 999 (the 111, 911, 000 etc equivalent), so I kept on walking.

I passed the fire truck before I'd walked half a block, so all praise to the efficiency of the fire service.

I returned an hour later. The stone cold charred remains of the bike were lying on the concrete where it had burned. The fire brigade people had given it a squirt then buggered off leaving the clean-up to someone else.

What else could they have done?

I know, I'll ask the Oracle.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: My God, it's a Flaming Bike
From: Dave Hinz <davehinz.spamcop.net>
Date: 23 Aug 2003 21:53:43 GMT

GW De Lacey wrote:
> I returned an hour later. The stone cold charred remains of the bike were lying on the concrete where it had burned. The fire brigade people had given it a squirt then buggered off leaving the clean-up to someone else.
> What else could they have done?

Not much. When I'm not wrangling computers for a living, I spend some of my spare time being a firefigher and EMT (we're in a rural area, so it's all volunteer out here). More than once we've had a homeowner or vehicle owner come upon us (oh, you lot!) whilst we were busily dousing their property - the set of questions are predictable, understandable, and oddly non-varying.

We have had to leave the scene of a house fire without contacting the owners, but we leave the cops there to control "custody of the scene" until the owners come home. I suppose, they've gotta sit somewhere, so for them it's not too big of a deal (Paul, I didn't say that.)

I wonder - what was the owner of the vehicle doing at the time?

Dave "trying out slrn; I think I like it so far." Hinz


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: So much mail, so little time
From: "René Torenstra" <r_torenstra.NOSPAMhotmail.com>
Date: Sun, 24 Aug 2003 01:46:32 GMT

I need to review the way I use my hotmail, I think. The mails I receive are not spam, because I have NOSPAM in it, you see, and people know I don't want spam. So they must be serious, and true.

I have been receiving mails that tell me they can enlarge my organ. All kinds of people with strange names like skkdref.#ij.org. I don't remember talking to him or her, but a talk with his or her mom might be enlightening as to why she named her baby like that.

Now, I do not have an organ, and I can see a very large one in the cathedral around the corner, so that must not be what they mean. Other organs I can think of are my kidneys, or my liver. Maybe they want me to drink more beer.

A friend pointed out that that's also not what they mean. But her option is clearly also not what they mean. I mean, if all those mails were true, I would be a medical miracle by the time I responded to all those mails.

Now, lately I suddenly get mail from people that want to lend me money, which is very kind, because I might need it if I meet those 2000 women they told me about in that other mail. You know, the ones that want to talk just with me. Seems they have been waiting for me and I didn't know it. I think I need a larger Inbox, and I will probably have a higher phone bill as well.

Maybe if I answer the mail from that guy that needed a few hundred dollars so he could get his suitcase back? He was the son of an African secretary of state or something, and he would give me half of the one million dollars that were in that suitcase. And that's no spam, because I have NOSPAM, you see.

René, who just bought a larger wallet.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The attack of the Normans?
From: Kegs <me.privacy.net>
Date: 24 Aug 2003 17:35:40 +0100

Sid <notme.hotmail.com> writes:
> There are 1066 articles in rec.humor.oracle.d on my news server. I think there's a message there.

Your server wants you to stick an arrow in Harold Bishop's eye?

Or invade Britain with a bunch of guys called Norman and build a load of sandcastles?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A Hoser With a Poser
From: "Daniel Parker" <dmparker.dmparker.com>
Date: Mon, 25 Aug 2003 16:28:46 GMT

"Cyn? 0 Sure!" <artiscyn.smpatico.ca> wrote in message
> That makes me wonder. We all know the definition of insanity but what is the basis for sanity?

"A sane man in an insane world must appear insane." -- Mr. Spock

That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it...you people need some lithium


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A Hoser With a Poser
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Mon, 01 Sep 2003 21:42:21 -0000

Kegs <me.privacy.net> said:
> "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org> writes:
>> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to waste another day at work
> You work?

That's not anything even remotely close to what the brSffs said.

> How do you manage to fit it in to a busy day Rhoding and searching for yet more weird and deviant links?

What exactly do you think I *do* there? Besides keep the seat in the fridge warm, I mean.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wish he didn't eat so many tacos


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Elite Forces, my ass!
From: "René Torenstra" <r_torenstra.NOSPAMhotmail.com>
Date: Wed, 27 Aug 2003 16:09:15 GMT

http://store.yahoo.com/dollmaven/georgewbush.html
A talking George Bush! Sadly, I can't see if it's sr. or jr., but this one admits that it can't stand up. And they have a life-sized one as well, and Colin Powell - Hmm... his head is slightly big? Ah, well.

René. Where's my credit card?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Blackout aftermath
From: "Cyn? 0 Sure!" <quintesscyntial.sympatico.ca>
Date: Wed, 27 Aug 2003 19:04:40 -0400

Did anyone mention the blackout New York, Ohio, Ontario and everything in between had last week? Am I discussing a subject already dealt with?

I had the most amazing night. I had a great stock of candles. It was a wonderous experience to see the City all dark, except for the cars, which were moving at a snail's pace. It was so hot in my apartment and so dark and quiet outside that I took my blanket and my pillow and slept on my lounge chair on my balcony under the stars (that I usually do not get to see) and glowing moon. It was a perfect night!

Did anyone else have a good experience? For that matter, did anyone else even experience it?

Cyn "If you are unable to see, why bother telling me?" Grant


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Blackout aftermath
From: Rhodnius <erik.SPAMFILTER-dos486.com>
Date: Thu, 28 Aug 2003 00:12:41 -0400

"Cyn? 0 Sure!" <quintesscyntial.sympatico.ca> wrote:
>Did anyone mention the blackout New York, Ohio, Ontario and everything in between had last week? Am I discussing a subject already dealt with?
>Did anyone else have a good experience? For that matter, did anyone else even experience it?

Yup, I was downtown in Manhattan on the 27th floor of an office building. 27^H^H28^H^H26 (darn fencepost errors) flights of stairs and one ferry ride later, I was back at home in New Jersey at my apartment which had power although the other side of the street didn't until hours later, and the other side of the river didn't until late the next day.

Then I got a day off on Friday because my office building still didn't have power. Wasted it playing Civilization 3, but that seemed as good a celebration of having power as any.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Just wondering
From: "René Torenstra" <r_torenstra.NOSPAMhotmail.com>
Date: Sun, 31 Aug 2003 02:01:29 GMT

Dan Glick wrote:
> Ever since I started posting in rhod again, I've been getting an inordinate number of e-mails offering discounted, discreet, prescription-less sales of Viagra. So I was just wondering if any of you here were trying to give me a hint or anything. If so, I just wanted to say thanks, but it's really not necessary.
> --Dan, who needs bottled beets to bait the bots

Well, it's not me. Or you must be one of the 2000 women waiting just for me, as that mail I received stated, and you impersonate someone else. See 'So much mail, so little time', a way up. By the way, now I'm talking to you anyway - are you _really_ not interested in Viagra? I could arrange something.

René 'pills' Torenstra.



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