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2003 12 a.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Ladies, please my I have some volunteers?
From: Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com>
Date: Mon, 01 Dec 2003 03:43:37 GMT

Tom Harrington wrote:
> "Joseph B. W. Shane" <jbs2.njit.edu> wrote:
> [regarding the experimental Orgasmatron]
>> too bad they didn't have this when Harry met Sally
> This raises an important issue, i.e., does this device actually cause orgasm, or just cause women to fake it? Sally faked a pretty good one.

Or maybe she just ACTED like she was faking it.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Ladies, please my I have some volunteers?
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Mon, 01 Dec 2003 06:41:51 -0000

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> said:
> This raises an important issue, i.e., does this device actually cause orgasm, or just cause women to fake it? Sally faked a pretty good one.

Naw, I've seen 'em faked *much* better than that.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wonder why he's announcing that


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Ladies, please my I have some volunteers?
From: "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.webone.NO.SPAM.com.au>
Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2003 22:52:12 +1100

Phil Smith wrote...
> Now, I have to question the accuracy of the following, but according to the BBC "the gadget most likely to attract the attention of the opposite sex is the Segway, in a magazine poll of the year's top gizmos."

That's fudging with statistics. It attracts the attention of everyone (45-55% of whom just happen to be the opposite sex), because you look like an IDIOT.

Not bad for the sympathy manoeuvre, but shite if you want someone who is not needy, co-dependent and a major PITA.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Ladies, please my I have some volunteers?
From: Aquarion <drw0rm.tmbg.org>
Date: Fri, 05 Dec 2003 12:47:05 +0000

"Joseph B. W. Shane" wrote:
>>>> Phil Smith wrote...
>>>> > Now, I have to question the accuracy of the following, but according to the BBC "the gadget most likely to attract the attention of the opposite sex is the Segway, in a magazine poll of the year's top gizmos."
>What sex is a Segway? What is its opposite?

And when they meet, do you get a herd of r/c cars following them like baby ducks?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Ladies, please my I have some volunteers?
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Wed, 03 Dec 2003 22:36:25 -0000

spam.sc.pffcu.com <spam.sc.pffcu.com> said:
> Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> wrote:
>> This raises an important issue, i.e., does this device actually cause orgasm, or just cause women to fake it? Sally faked a pretty good one.
> I have to suspect that a device which would cause women to fake an orgasm would be highly popular among the menfolk.

Dude, if you're so bad in bed you can't even get a woman to have a *fake* orgasm...

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies will keep practicing


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Ladies, please my I have some volunteers?
From: Kegs <me.privacy.net>
Date: Wed, 03 Dec 2003 22:47:48 +0000

"Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org> writes:
> Dude, if you're so bad in bed you can't even get a woman to have a *fake* orgasm...

women are involved? eww! ;)

> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies will keep practicing

they ought to be careful, else they'll go blind


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Ladies, please my I have some volunteers?
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Thu, 04 Dec 2003 11:06:09 -0700

"Joseph B. W. Shane" <jbs2.njit.edu> wrote:
> [One may fake an orgasm. One may fake having an orgasm. But to have a fake orgasm would seem to me to be as good if not better than a real one.]
> Yeah? Well, I faked mine, too! It just seemed the polite thing to do. Now, I guess I can send the special effects crew from "Spider Man" home.
> And besides--that wasn't my real penis, either!

The fact that it was bright green kind of gave it away.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: House Hunting Part Deux
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Mon, 01 Dec 2003 06:25:14 -0000

Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com> said:
> Okay, so we think we found the lot we want, and we found a plan we like on the Wide Wide World of the web. Now I'm looking at pool tables. I'm seeing some that are 7', 8', and 9'. Which is considered "appropriate?"

Depends how...er...active you'n'the Mrs. are WWNNSNM.

A number of years ago, the repair guy came to refelt/etc. the table in a friend of mine's frat-house. "Wow, this thing needs a lot of work. What have you been doing on it?" [silence] "Never mind!"

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies got two balls in the pocket and scratched


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: House Hunting Part Deux
From: René Torenstra <r_torenstra._hotmail_.com>
Date: Mon, 01 Dec 2003 09:16:56 +0100

Jason wrote:
>Fierce Cookie wrote:
>> Okay, so we think we found the lot we want, and we found a plan we like on the Wide Wide World of the web. Now I'm looking at pool tables. I'm seeing some that are 7', 8', and 9'. Which is considered "appropriate?"
>Depends on the size of the room. Standard cue length is 58", and you want to be able to walk around the table with the tip just on the edge of the bumper and not hit a wall with the butt. Obviously, they are best to put in basements that you haven't partitioned weirdly.

Which is exactly why I learnt to play billiards with cues the size of a flyswat at my grandpa's house. He truly was a genius, bless him. Also, you could only use the lamp above the table if you switched on the lights in the hallway.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: House Hunting Part Deux
From: Eli the Bearded <*.eli.users.panix.com>
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2003 21:58:57 +0000 (UTC)

Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com> wrote:
> God knows after buying this house *I* won't have any extra cash for silly things like education.

Declare them incorrigible at 16 and let them become wards of the state. That will give them a big leg up in the financial aid department.

Elijah
------
knows a mom who has been discussing this method for her (now) 12 year-old


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: House Hunting Part Deux
From: steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Tue, 09 Dec 2003 15:04:12 GMT

Daniel E. Macks wrote:
> Numerous grad school experiences taught me that it is less than ideal to put the dart board where the darts are thrown across either the edge of the pool table or a busy walkway.

And right along side the pool table is probably a bad idea, as well. You want at least five feet of clearance on either side of the dart's trajectory, to account for really poor aim. And I'd suggest cardboard covering the wall the darts are heading towards, at least for the first couple of weeks or so -- unless you don't mind having to replaster.

> OTOH, I'm only aware of one dart injury from either of these configurations...a woman who managed to hit *herself* in the head. No, I don't know how, however I'm fairly certain the six or so hours of heavy drinking leading up to this feat had nothing to do with it.

Nah; I'm sure she's just really, really fast.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Gobble Gobble
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Mon, 01 Dec 2003 06:32:47 -0000

TimC <tconnors.no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> said:
> (I also then found out that I had borken my procmail and spent about 3 hours fixing it).

I had added a bunch of Received patterns for Chinatelecom /dev/null. Tested a bunch of spam against it, all worked fine. Then I stopped getting any mail at all.

Took over an hour to find that I had doubled a | in a line that included a lot of 1s.

Note to self: do not do this.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies think he should think that more often


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Gobble Gobble
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Wed, 03 Dec 2003 03:30:14 -0000

TimC <tconnors.no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> said:
> Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies think he should think more often
> IFYPFY.

You fired my PFY? Thank goodness!--I was getting tired of him giggling every time I said "I P address".

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to free up some disk space


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A recipe for collard greens
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Mon, 01 Dec 2003 09:08:08 -0700

st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
> 'Richard Fitzpatrick' wrote:
> >I know a few Siobhans and they all pronounce it "Sh'von".
> Weren't the Sh'von a race of aliens in Star Trek?

Yes. Anyone you might meet named Siobhan is actually a secret alien agent on a mission to destroy Earth.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A recipe for collard greens
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2003 17:16:20 +0000

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> writes
> st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
>> 'Richard Fitzpatrick' wrote:
>> >I know a few Siobhans and they all pronounce it "Sh'von".
>> Weren't the Sh'von a race of aliens in Star Trek?
>Yes. Anyone you might meet named Siobhan is actually a secret alien agent on a mission to destroy Earth.

Shirley this applies to the Irish generally. Or is it the Welsh I'm thinking of now?

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*-----*---richard killfiled, use rwilson-
--*----*---*---*-----*---"Ah, it's Jones the Mucus Being from the--
--*-----*--*----*----*----*--Planet Zorg you'll be wanting, boyo"--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A recipe for collard greens
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Tue, 02 Dec 2003 11:34:49 -0700

Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> Shirley this applies to the Irish generally. Or is it the Welsh I'm thinking of now?

The Irish were a race of aliens on Star Trek? Can't be, "Irish" hasn't got any apostrophes or hyphens in it.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A recipe for collard greens
From: René Torenstra <r_torenstra._hotmail_.com>
Date: Tue, 02 Dec 2003 20:40:36 +0100

Tom Harrington wrote:
>The Irish were a race of aliens on Star Trek? Can't be, "Irish" hasn't got any apostrophes or hyphens in it.

In Star Trek the race is called the O'Briens, a technically advanced race.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A recipe for collard greens
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Mon, 08 Dec 2003 21:18:44 GMT

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> wrote:
> Yes. Anyone you might meet named Siobhan is actually a secret alien agent on a mission to destroy Earth.

This explains a lot.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A recipe for collard greens
From: René Torenstra <r_torenstra._hotmail_.com>
Date: Tue, 02 Dec 2003 10:19:22 +0100

Viki wrote:
>"Fierce Cookie" <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com> wrote
>: [0] Not that this is at all likely. With the oldest just now getting engaged, grandchildren are looking more likely. Yikes! I'm only almost 42, and my stepdaughter asked me on Thanksgiving what I would want to be called by my grandchildren.
>I'm at the same age, and just found out tonight that my soon to be stepson is no longer a virgin. He's 16. And I am not sure how to deal with this one.
>Fortunately, he lives in another state, so the condition is hopefully not contagious. [1]
>Viki
>[1] I'd like to think my kids are nowhere near close to that stage in life. [2]
>[2] Sometimes, ignorance is definitely bliss.

If it is contagious, could you post a minor skin sample or something? I mean, when I was 16 I didn't really appreciate it, but it would be nice to be 16 again, I think.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A recipe for collard greens
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2003 17:12:17 +0000

Kegs <me.privacy.net> writes
>Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com> writes:
>> Joseph B. W. Shane wrote:
>>> I say it "sh'bahn" (like "sh'boom" or "sh'bang") and have long found it a very pleasing name, surpassing even the name Audrey on my list of faves.
>> That's close to the guess I would have made, and yes, it is a lovely name. If my wife and I were to have another baby[0], it would be on my list for middle names.
>However, how it is supposed to be pronounced, it being an Irish name is shuh-vorn, bh being a v sound in that particular branch of celtic.

It's a curious fact that Irish names invariably sound much better than they look.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*-----*---richard killfiled, use rwilson-
--*----*---With the possible exception of the MacGillycuddy Reeks--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A recipe for collard greens
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2003 17:39:46 -0700

"Joseph B. W. Shane" <jbs2.njit.edu> wrote:
> > Tom Harrington wrote:
> >>>The Dumpster <daniel.doesnt.want.spam.dmparker.com> writes:
> >>>>Shirley this applies to the Irish generally. Or is it the Welsh I'm thinking of now?
> >>Of course. The Welsh have no rhythm, they just have a method to their madness.
> No rhythm?
> David Bowie, Tom Jones, Mary Hopkin, Edie Adams (American of Welsh parentage), Shirley Bassey (childhood near Cardiff), Cilla Black... hmmm....

I rest my case.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: A recipe for collard greens
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Mon, 08 Dec 2003 21:17:48 GMT

> > BTW, how do you pronounce "Siobhan?"

One of my very dear friends from Uni is called "Shi-VONN'." However, there was this other very strange person on the list called Siobhan, that nobody ever saw and who never seemed to attend lectures. It took years for us to realise they were the same person. Meanwhile, she was always getting mail addressed to "Mr Sid Bhan [Irishsurnamedeleted]." She remains "Sid" to this day. Her family also includes Roisin (roe-SHEEN'), Sinead (Shi-NADE'), Mireid (Mih-RADE'), and other beautiful Irish names. She since married an Italian so her name is now even more exotic.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hamlet text adventure
From: The Dumpster <daniel.doesnt.want.spam.dmparker.com>
Date: Wed, 03 Dec 2003 10:18:09 GMT

René Torenstra wrote:
> Kegs wrote:
>>The Dumpster writes:
>>>Jim Menard wrote:
>>>>The Dumpster writes:
>>>>>All I ever get is loading hopefully, and I SO wanted to play this...
>>>>Same here. Safari on Mac OS X.
>>>I run Mozilla under XP...is that wrong?
>>running anything under XP, indeed running XP at all, is Evil, Bad and Wrong
> No, no. It's not wrong. It's courageous.
> I think it is a monumental achievement to run anything under XP at all. Great skill.

LMAO, I guess I've just been insulted and complemented in one fell swoop.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hamlet text adventure
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Fri, 05 Dec 2003 08:45:31 -0000

Phil Smith <pas51.NOSPAMcam.ac.uk> said:
> The Dumpster wrote in rec.humor.oracle.d:
>> LMAO, I guess I've just been insulted and complemented in one fell swoop.
> The stranger walked into the saloon and made for Billy the Luser, who was sitting at a table off to the side. A hush fell; after a moment of sheer terror, the stranger spoke:
> 'Man runs XP on his box, then he's either mighty brave, or mighty stupid. Which are you, boy?'

Ironically, Billy just sat there, frozen.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wonder if he had painted his face blue


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: new pool
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Thu, 04 Dec 2003 02:21:15 -0000

TimC <tconnors.no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> said:
> Why do they come in waves?

Because whales stay in the ocean when mating.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to hump back


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: 425 million year old penis found
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Fri, 05 Dec 2003 02:34:08 -0000

Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org> said:
> "It is very exciting," Prof Siveter said. "Here we have a beautiful animal preserved in all its glory, and with all its appendages."
> An ostracod is only 5mm long and its penis can be as much as a third of the size of its entire body.

Which means it's still better-endowed and and had sex more recently than most inhabitants of USENET.

> --
> DISCLAIMER: Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.

Good siggy.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to watch some olde-tyme fish-porn


From: punisher.earthling.net (K_Stafford)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: What would you do,if you could be God for a day ?
Date: 5 Dec 2003 05:21:09 -0800

What things would you do, most like to get up to, or like to change for the better, if you could be God for a day ?

From: Rhodnius <erik.SPAMFILTER-dos486.com>
Win Nethack.

From: The Dumpster <daniel.doesnt.want.spam.dmparker.com>

If you're an atheist and you become God for a day do you cease to exist?

From: Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com>
No. But that advice from a teacher to "just believe in yourself" would suddenly take on new meaning.

From: Henriette Kress <spamtrap.hetta.spamcop.net>
What do you mean "could be"?

From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
I think the first order of business, on suddenly becoming god, is to use your divine power to make sure you don't have to stop at the end of the day.

From: "Viki" <vvidt.netscape.net>
Isn't that an awful like the whole wishing for more wishes thing that is against the rules? I mean, really. That doesn't seem fair.

From: Aquarion <drw0rm.tmbg.org>
That's a better idea. If I were god for a day, I'd ensure that when I stopped being God I'd face no repercussions [1] and have every wish I made come true. Then I'd press the "Autopilot" switch and play Uru for a while.
[1] Those repeating drums can drive a man insane.

From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
If you _really_ became god for the day, you wouldn't have to worry about "fair". We're not talking about some pissant genie in a bottle wiggling her nose and giving you a wish, were talking about being _god_, fercrissake. Er, so to speak.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What would you do,if you could be God for a day ?
From: René Torenstra <r_torenstra._hotmail_.com>
Date: Sat, 06 Dec 2003 23:49:05 +0100

The Dumpster wrote:
>René Torenstra wrote:
>> K_Stafford wrote:
>>>What things would you do, most like to get up to, or like to change for the better, if you could be God for a day ?
>> I think I'd show myself, do a few miracles, and spell out the definite version of the Holy Book, abolishing all religions in the process to create the definitive solution.
>Nobody likes a smart-ass you know.

I wouldn't be doing it to win a popularity contest.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What would you do,if you could be God for a day ?
From: Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com>
Date: Mon, 08 Dec 2003 00:17:30 GMT

The Dumpster wrote:
> Nobody likes a smart-ass you know.

Better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass, I always say.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What would you do,if you could be God for a day ?
From: Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com>
Date: Tue, 09 Dec 2003 02:07:15 GMT

Tom Harrington wrote:
> ossipewsk.hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick) wrote:
>> punisher.earthling.net (K_Stafford) wrote
>> > What things would you do, most like to get up to, or like to change for the better, if you could be God for a day ?
>> You all realise this is a bit of a troll, don't you?
> In RHOD it's not trolling unless you get people to stop trying to be funny.

Ah.

So as evidenced by your above response to the responder above that the responder above your above response failed to notice that trolling is not trolling unless it causes people to stop trying to be funny, the original message was, in fact, a troll, unless, of course, I am trying to be funny now, which I will neither confirm nor deny, by the way.

Hopefully more heads than mine just imploded.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What would you do,if you could be God for a day ?
From: TechnoAtheist <TechnoAtheist.unitedheroes.SPAMISBAD.net>
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 2003 05:11:12 GMT

A group of hallowed monkeys claiming to be punisher.earthling.net (K_Stafford) wrote:
>What things would you do, most like to get up to, or like to change for the better, if you could be God for a day ?

TA.

Oh. Uhm, God. Hi! So how was traffic?

TA, I've returned.

Yes, by.. uhm.. You you have. Listen, come on inside and make Yourself at home. I'll put the kettle on. I've also got some nice cookies we could--

TA. We need to talk.

We sure do. Tell me all about Poughkeepsie.

No. Look, I know you meant well. The first thing you tried to do was rid the world of disease...

You bet. Well, then I thought about it and realized that disease were kinda life forms too, and that they served a purpose, so I sort of figured that maybe if I could just talk to them...

You made them sentient.

Well, sure. I mean talking to stuff like that helps if it's able to understand you and all...

You made trillions of individual virus able self aware and able to communicate.

Yeah, it was a little noisy and confused there for a while...

The average decibel level of the known universe increased by 30 points.

True, but it quieted down awful fast.

Because they unionized in less than two hours.

Yeah, I guess having really short life spans will really kick that evolutionary clock into high gear.

Four hours later they declared themselves rulers of the universe and enslaved every other being.

Really, high gear...

And then there was the CNN incident.

Ah, yeah. Well, what with the impending end of all life in the universe, some folks were saying some really bad things about You. Well, really me, but they thought it was You, so I figured I should take the blame, what with it being my fault and all...

And Reverend Roberts?

Hey, he kept yelling "If you're God, Prove it!" and, it sort of got really annoying the fourth or fifth time, so I --uh-- did.

And you turned him into a horse.

Well, an upside down one. I figured it was more appropriate.

Ok, I'll admit it was. You get a point for that.

Ah thanks! See? It wasn't all bad.

Despite the massive influx into Heaven.

Well, yeah. Look, I felt really, really bad about everyone suddenly dying like that, so I sorta let 'em all in to try and make up for things.

And instituted "Hookers and Beer" night?

Well, yeah, I figured it was a nice "Welcome Present".

Please, would you then explain this last part.

Oh, well, you see, with the extinction of all other life, uhm, all the virus were pretty much it. And they were very evolved and awful nice people, uhm, germs once you get to know them, so when a bunch of them died I, uhm...

You let them into Heaven.

I let them into Heaven.

During Hookers and Beer night.

During Hookers and Beer night.

TA, did it ever occur to you that of all the many eternal pleasures of Heaven, syphilis, gonorrhea, and yeast infections aren't listed?

Look, I was omniscient. Did you expect me to think of everything? Think of it as "truth in advertising".

How so?

Well, now folks really know what you mean by "Heavenly Host"


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What would you do,if you could be God for a day ?
From: Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com>
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 2003 11:17:52 GMT

TechnoAtheist wrote:
<sound of cat being neutered>*

Well done, and then...

> How so?
>
> Well, now folks really know what you mean by "Heavenly Host"

<sound of cat AFTER being neutered>**

* That would be "snip"
** That would be "groan"***
*** After my experience with my LAST joke, I figured I'd go ahead and splain it right away, and spoil it for everyone.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Amatuer therapy hour and the unconditional love of strangers
From: Kegs <me.privacy.net>
Date: Fri, 05 Dec 2003 18:48:17 +0000

Henriette Kress <spamtrap.hetta.spamcop.net> writes:
> Jason wrote:
>> It's used to cold, but it's a _dry_ cold.
> So's our winter. Not much moisture in the air at -10 C, and even less at -20.

Surely thats because it has all fallen out onto the ground though?

water gets kind of stupid when it gets cold, which is why, for humanitarian reasons, I insist on drinking chilled water, so it suffers less.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Amatuer therapy hour and the unconditional love of strangers
From: Rhodnius <erik.SPAMFILTER-dos486.com>
Date: Fri, 05 Dec 2003 18:25:39 -0500

Kegs <me.privacy.net> wrote:
>water gets kind of stupid when it gets cold, which is why, for humanitarian reasons, I insist on drinking chilled water, so it suffers less.

But frozen water is *less* dense, innit?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Amatuer therapy hour and the unconditional love of strangers
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Tue, 09 Dec 2003 03:58:05 -0000

TimC <tconnors.no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> said:
> Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>> Also leads to the popular "assume nothing when making observations" science demonstration with the sinking deuterium-ice cubes.
> Now that would be cool.
> How much does heavy water cost?

CIL lists 1 kg D2O (99%D) for US$325.

> Would it damage your bodily functions if you ingested too much?

There's evidence that acute/bolus dose or gradual increase to some level isn't too bad. Sudden jump to sustained very high deuteration intake is probably a way to get deadish (kinetic isotope effect for enzyme kinetics). Some of the biologismists or medical folks wanna chime in? But anyway, it's the same reason people don't run their ZPE perpetual motion machines on the heavier isotope: for a given chemical bond, a heavier isotope moves slower and causes a stronger bond (heavier mass on the same spring oscillates slower, etc.).

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have the highest ground-state vibrational energy, milligram for milligram, of any creature in the universe


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Amatuer therapy hour and the unconditional love of strangers
From: ossipewsk.hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick)
Date: 14 Dec 2003 16:12:14 -0800

TimC wrote...
> Jeffrey Kaplan wrote:
> > My sister's cat ("Tigger") loves asparagus.
> Zuchinni, hot kabana with chilli and tabasco stuffed down the middle, carrot, pumpkin and chicken soup (pumkin far outweighing what little chicken was in it) etc (I know I am forgetting one or two cats here). Tigger is just not a very strange cat, I am afraid.

Strange, no. Supremely evil, yes.

Don't you think cat's piss smells bad enough already?

For the evil little bugger to then go and eat asparagus is a concept straight from the inner circle of hell.
--
Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti unfortunately has whichever gene is responsible...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The Oracle Replies!
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Sun, 7 Dec 2003 15:29:08 +0000

René Torenstra <r_torenstra._hotmail_.com> writes
>Which brings me to the question:
>Can some of you die hard oldbies here recognize each other from the way the answer is formulated?

In times gone by, certainly. If it was written in early Anglo-Saxon, it was by Dave Sewell. If it used the word "snotmonkey", it was by me. Everything else was by Ross Clement.

These days, since neither Dave nor I seem to be incarnating anymore, either everything is by Don Rosso, or else there are no digests, there is no Internet Oracle, and you need therapy.

(And yes, "snotmonkey" is at the centre of my campaign to smuggle Dutch expressions into the English language. It hasn't really taken off yet, but I still have more hopes for it than, say, "all silliness on a small stick".)

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*-----*---richard killfiled, use rwilson-
--*---who keeps his sheep on the dry because he knows of mittens---


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Favorite spam of the week
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Tue, 09 Dec 2003 09:47:39 -0700

Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org> wrote:
> | From: "Donnell Blanco" <xw703rwle.verizon.net>
> | Reply-To: "Donnell Blanco" <xw703rwle.verizon.net>
> | To: <deleted>
> | Subject: Stop emails like this one..
> | Date: Tue, 09 Dec 2003 11:36:05 -0700
> | MIME-Version: 1.0
> | Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
> | boundary=".6_4.B4___1"
> |
> | --.6_4.B4___1
> | Content-Type: text/html;
> | Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64
> |
> | PGh0bWw+DQo
> <snip>
> Note the subject line...

It's the mafia approach to spam management. You got a nice in-box there, doncha? It sure would be a shame if somethin' was to *happen* to it, would'n it?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: the ebay "information"
From: The Dumpster <daniel.doesnt.want.spam.dmparker.com>
Date: Tue, 09 Dec 2003 22:21:10 GMT

Sam Piip wrote:
> have you seen those "pay $1-5 and get info to get all these items cheaply? I say we find out! lets get one of these "info" packets and put it on RHOD! If its true, we all benefit, and if it isn't, we can sue them! win-win, huh?

OK, I'll fax you a quarter...who else is in?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spotlight (Worksafe URI - Flash)
From: Kegs <me.privacy.net>
Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2003 15:07:15 +0000

Donald Welsh <donald.nospam.melbpc.org.au> writes:
> Kegs wrote:
>> [1] Do't ask, it is a thing of great evil, with obtuse docs
> Would you say they're *evil* obtuse docs?

Definitely, they tell you that you *can* do something, point you to the section about the config files, which are XML, so evil in and of themselves, then completely fail to tell you *how* to do anything, or indeed what each entity is actually *for*.

Needless to say Macromedia didn't bother to add useful comments or even a DTD for their config files, cos that would actually be useful.

Its as if they are consciously trying to break my mind.



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