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2003 02 a.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Sometimes you gotta just take a chance
From: steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Sat, 01 Feb 2003 02:55:53 GMT

Long shall last the words of dmparker.dmparker.com :
> http://www.tackamarks.freeservers.com/

Normally I'd place a warning here for newbies: never, ever follow a link posted by DMP.

But this one's okay.

It made me remember, though, a discussion (that I had, perhaps, or maybe it was one I was sitting on the sidelines of) that such sites should have the appelation of ".kook" rather than ".com", thus making it easier to identify in a random sampling. There was the suggestion of ".con", as an abbreviation of "conspiracy," but the most natural use for that particular domain TLA would be for spammer "opt-out" proggies.

Such a program would have to be forcibly instituted, however, to insure that no one used them inappropriately (a spammer using a .net address, for instance). Thus I've put it on my list for things to do once I've taken over the world.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Tue, 04 Feb 2003 12:58:12 +1100

GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com> wrote:
> Sniffnoy the Swordfish wrote:
> > sc.pffcu.com wrote:
> >> Ian Davis <not.all.certain> wrote:
> >>> I never ever do this, but...
> >>> I'll see your Alaska, and raise you Western Australia.
> >> I'll see your wallaby's hangout and raise you a bushbaby's hangover.
> >I'll see your lazy primates and raise you the United States.
> Bloomin' hell, Ian, what were you thinking?

I'm just tired of these pissy little tracts of land like Alaska and Texas being called "states," is all.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: Kegs <me.privacy.net>
Date: 05 Feb 2003 15:31:12 +0000

"Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> writes:
> Dunno...I'll let you know last weekend.
> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies don't know if they're coming or going

Its simple, they look like this, :o , when they are coming, and like this, ><> , when they are going.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another "THE url"?
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Wed, 5 Feb 2003 07:50:08 +0000 (UTC)

Tony Gies <commander_keen0.socyl.moc> said:
> We're all going to hell now.

*Now*? You must be new here.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have their own circle by now


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another "THE url"?
From: davehinz.spamcop.net
Date: 9 Feb 2003 14:37:29 GMT

Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au> wrote:
> "Teh (tî'pô)" <teh.mindless.com> wrote:
>>Ping says it's still there, I didn't check.
> We all need an assistant like Ping.

I used to have a user on my systems who was named Ping. Ping Hou, in fact. When I built a new workstation for her, she refused to take the box I built for her with the name "pong".


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: I may be less coherant than normal...
From: davehinz.spamcop.net
Date: 3 Feb 2003 06:39:59 GMT

Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com> wrote:
> davehinz.spamcop.net wrote:
> <snipping>
>> If I can only have a certain volume, it's gonna *count*, dammit.
> I recommend 11.

That's more than 10, innit.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: I may be less coherant than normal...
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Mon, 03 Feb 2003 23:15:08 +1100

Jeffrey Kaplan wrote:
> Jason said:
> ; I recommend 11.
> One of my room air conditioners goes to 11.

Lucky sod - I only have fans down here, and they're all in bed by 10 8 (


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: And as if by magic...
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Fri, 07 Feb 2003 12:39:18 +1100

"Mike Jewell" <mike.mikesroom.org> wrote:
> pull out your rhyming dictionaries :-)

Ah, thanks. I was wondering where I had put that.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Totally OT - I apologize
From: sc.pffcu.com
Date: 7 Feb 2003 20:08:56 GMT

Sniffnoy the Swordfish <sniffnoy.optonline.net> wrote:
> Misty Devine wrote:
> <snip entire message>
> OT? What is that?

It's the frickin' National Geographic Swimsuit Edition, that's what it is. It's the Sign of the End Times, that's what it frickin' is. "When the Magazyne of Yellow Shalle Displaye the Wommen Wythe Baything Suits, You art Alle Skrooed, For Sure."

I saw it at B. Dalton's.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Davis Cup
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Sat, 8 Feb 2003 17:08:06 +0000

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> writes
> Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>> You realise, of course, this is all just part of a fiendishly cunning plan to build up Australian overconfidence before challenging you in a sport where we can wreak a terrible vengeance. I refer to women's curling.
>Mmm, boy, now SHE has a pretty huge pair of stones.

So what you're saying is, you harbour suppressed yearnings for Rhona Martin.
Hmmm...

Don't worry, son, your secret's safe with me.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*--Didn't you use to have a thing about Princess Anne?--
--*-----*--*----*--Does Mrs "Mrs" Harrington worry about you?--*---


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Davis Cup
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2003 17:10:17 +0000

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> writes
> Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>> -Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
>> --*----*---*--Didn't you use to have a thing about Princess Anne?--
>> --*-----*--*----*--Does Mrs "Mrs" Harrington worry about you?--*---
>Princess Margaret. And, only the pantomime version.

She's behind you!

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*-----*----*---*-*----*---"Oh no, one is not!"--*---


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Davis Cup
From: "One_Pierced_One" <1_pierced_1.cheapcunt.net>
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2003 21:02:04 GMT

"Misty Devine" <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
> Wait a minute...... I am Canadian, and I think curling is coma-inducingly boring! You can have it!

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were Canadian...my offer to have sex with is formally withdrawn. The rules are the rules you know.

> Every since Schmerler the Curler died I just can't bring myself to watch!
> HURRY!!!! HARD!!!!!

Now now, I just told you that we're not going to be doing that...no matter what Cheap Trick says about Canada girls....


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Davis Cup
From: "Viki" <vvidt.netscape.net>
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 04:20:02 GMT

"One_Pierced_One" <1_pierced_1.cheapcunt.net> wrote:
: <davehinz.spamcop.net> wrote:
: > One_Pierced_One <1_pierced_1.cheapcunt.net> wrote:
: > > "Misty Devine" <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
: > >> Wait a minute...... I am Canadian, and I think curling is coma-inducingly boring! You can have it!
: > > I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were Canadian...my offer to have sex with is formally withdrawn. The rules are the rules you know.
: > Well now, it's not like she's _French_ Canadian.
: > Dave "Amazed that there IS something that DMP won't do" Hinz
: Its not really my rule...its that judge's rule...something to do with maintaining the morals of Canada or something....

I think the formal term is "restraining order".


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Davis Cup
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2003 17:01:59 +0000

Ian Davis <not.all.certain> writes
> "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> wrote:
>> Look, do we *really* need to be discussing Ian's jockstrap here?
>That's about the size of it...

The other tennis-related descriptive term that springs to mind is "match point".

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*-I'll think of you every time I see Hewitt and Agassi--
--*----*---*--knocking some loomie yellow balls back and forth-*---


From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>

> The other tennis-related descriptive term that springs to mind is "match point".

Oooh look - a backhanded compliment...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Yes! Oracle book!
From: Tony Gies <commander_keen0.socyl.moc>
Date: Sat, 08 Feb 2003 04:35:29 -0000

I now have an entire BOOK of EVERY single digest EVER up to #1300. It's printed on good-quality 8.5" x 12" (yes, 12") paper (kinda thin, like Bible/dictionary paper) and professionally leather-bound with "ORACLE" gold-embossed on the front in Copperplate Gothic. HA. HA HA HA. And the inside front cover says "Know Thyself" in Greek. And it has these pages, interspersed with, like, quotes and stuff, in English, German, Japanese, Latin, Greek, and Spanish, for those are the languages I can read. AHAHGAGHAAGh I have the BOOK! THE BOOK! Anyone else want one? WARNING: Not, by any strecth of the imagination, cheap. And it's printed small to save paper. And there's no margins. And various Selected-By: silliness and stuff is removed.


I HAVE THE BOOK AAAAAHAAAAghgGhgAghahaga


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Yes! Oracle book!
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com>
Date: Sat, 08 Feb 2003 15:55:16 +1100

Tony Gies wrote:
>I HAVE THE BOOK AAAAAHAAAAghgGhgAghahaga

A great effort, I hope it goes well.

However, has anyone told you about those black rings under your eyes..? They say that you will be cured if you dance on the top of a light bulb. Of course, they say lots of other things, like for instance how much they would to catch you, if only you would let them.

Well before they do get you, would you please advise me on price and availability?
I refer of course to the book.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Yes! Oracle book!
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2003 10:03:43 -0700

"Viki" <vvidt.netscape.net> wrote:
> "Ian Davis" <not.all.certain> wrote:
> : GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com> wrote:
> : > Remember, these were the Dons of usenet,
> : Not like Oxford dons, though. More like the Don from the Jupiter 2, who never got any either.
> Like Don Corleone? He got some. In fact, he got lots. Of whatever he wanted.
> Viki, who always thought Don from the Jupiter 2 was a cutie

One time when I was very young I was taken as part of a school trip to visit some sort of small space observatory. Big telescopes, models of the solar system, and all that.

Among the things we saw was a collection of photos that had been taken there. At some point I pointed to a planet and asked what it was. I was told it was Jupiter. This was as I expected, since I was the kind of kid who was interested in such things. But there was something very unexpected about this photo, so I was making sure.

There was another photo just next to this one. Of course, if you take two pictures of objects in the inky blackness of space and put them next to each other, it can be hard to tell that they are in fact separate pictures.

So I resolved to get to the root of the odd thing about this photo of Jupiter. I pointed to the large planet just next to Jupiter, which was nearly identical, and asked what it was.

"That's Jupiter, too." said the helpful person.

"That's Jupiter 2." is what I heard.

For the next several years I was convinced there were two nearly identical planets Jupiter out there, Jupiter and Jupiter 2. The total lack of any information on Jupiter's twin in any books I could find was puzzling. Apparently, I supposed, the two Jupiters were so similar that nobody bothered to document them separately. I know that I told several other people about this second Jupiter with whatever authority I could muster on the issue. I mean, I had seen a photo that proved it, and this in the days when Photoshop was not yet imagined.

Fortunately I later worked out what had happened, and was spared any public embarassment on the issue. I did wonder what people had thought when I related my own personal cosmology to them, though.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Yes! Oracle book!
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 10:08:51 +1100

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> wrote:
[snip entirely plausible Jupiter 2 theory]

Kids are natural scientists, though. When I was young, we lived in a street that had two kinks in it, sort of a stretched Z-shape. I performed several experiments that involved walking very slowly and carefully down the footpath, ensuring that I walked in a straight line and that I was in the exact middle of the path. Each and every time, when I looked up, I had negotiated the bend without any apparent deviation from my straight course.

I proved to my own satisfaction, long before reading any relativity, that space was curved. My cosmology was consistent and validated by experiment. Eat that, Einstein.

Ian, ensuring enough material was left in that post to satisfy the predator-raptors and to summon any malcontents.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Yes! Oracle book!
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 10:00:03 +1100

Tony Gies <commander_keen0.socyl.moc> wrote:
> > Have you checked out the allowable leakage current for EEG? Have you measured your homemade biomedical device against that spec? Do you understand why those specs exist?
> Point 1: This was recommended to me by a medical tech.
> Point 2: Not only is it an oscilloscope, it's a D-filtered oscilloscope! Of *course* it's low leakage.

Well, just don't reverse the polarity of the neutron flow or reroute it through the deflector dish, or you'll be thinking in 50Hz sine waves for a week.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Yes! Oracle book!
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2003 07:25:55 +0000 (UTC)

Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never_Read.email.com> said:
> Also Sprach Tony Gies:
>> I was using Usenet back in the net boom of 1993
> On: Thu, 3453 Sep 1993 07:25:55 +0000 (UTC)

What the hell kind of summoning was *that*?

Next thing ya know, I'll say "pickled turnips" and Carla will appear.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies need a new book of spells


From: Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never_Read.email.com>

> What the hell kind of summoning was *that*?

I now run an experimental "Far Too Good An Opportunity To Pass Up" daemon.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Yes! Oracle book!
From: "One_Pierced_One" <1_pierced_1.cheapcunt.net>
Date: Mon, 10 Feb 2003 19:14:35 GMT

"Misty Devine" <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
> One_Pierced_One wrote:
> > "Tony Gies" <commander_keen0.socyl.moc> wrote:
> > > >: I'm sure that can be arranged. After all, a place that has balmy summers days, waving palm trees and gentle surf can surely host a newbie BBQ...
> > > > Let me know if you need lots of butter for the hot tub.
> > > > Viki, (singing) "I will provide.."
> > > Guys. It's an old, tired in-joke, and I'm not even new here. Let it go.
> > Heretic.
> > BURN THE HERETIC!
> > then let's eat him when he's all crunchy on the outside but gooey on the inside....
> mmmmmm....... crunchy gooey not newbie.

Maybe not a newbie, but a heretic, them's good eating.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Imagine...
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Sun, 09 Feb 2003 18:58:43 +1100

...if you woke up one morning to discover you've suddenly acquired amazing and unlimited magical powers...

What would be the very *first* thing you'd wish for?


(and no saying coffee, sex or breakfast in bed - I've already dibsed all that)


(Dibsed: An inviolable, legally binding and lawfully enforceable superior prior claim by any Australian citizen, upon anything whatsoever he, she or it wants)


From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)

>(Dibsed: An inviolable, legally binding and lawfully enforceable superior prior claim by any Australian citizen, upon anything whatsoever he, she or it wants)

That's a pity, I've always wanted to be hit on the head with a pillow full of congealed custard.

*obligingly bops EGK with aforementioned*


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Imagine...
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Mon, 10 Feb 2003 12:18:30 +1100

SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au> wrote:
> > That's a pity, I've always wanted to be hit on the head with a pillow full of congealed custard.
> > *obligingly bops EGK with aforementioned*
> <GRAB!>
> Nya ha - *that* was easy 8 )
> Now to go find the Keeper of The Tinned Peaches and the Lord of Red Jelly...

Oho! Trifle with me, will you? You'll get your just...never mind.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Imagine...
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Mon, 10 Feb 2003 00:46:15 +1100

Al Sharka wrote:
> SaraM wrote:
> > ...if you woke up one morning to discover you've suddenly acquired amazing and unlimited magical powers...
> > What would be the very *first* thing you'd wish for?
> Seriously?

Yes, seriously, but don't worry - I promise you that any ulterior motives I might have are strictly confidential 8)

> That my family and friends and I would be perfectly healthy and fit, both physically and mentally, for the rest of our natural lives

<raises one eyebrow, mutters inscrutably, scribbles something in ledger>

> It would be tempting to wish for Australian concubines or untold wealth but those could wait until I feel better.

<forcefully underlines previous comment>


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Imagine...
From: "Teh (tî'pô)" <teh.mindless.com>
Date: Sun, 09 Feb 2003 15:52:00 +0200

SaraM wrote:
>...if you woke up one morning to discover you've suddenly acquired amazing and unlimited magical powers...
>What would be the very *first* thing you'd wish for?

Probably an hour more in bed.

Now if I was allowed a coffee before having to make the decision, I might come up with something less wasteful (although a shower would probably be prudent too, just to be on Teh safe side).


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Imagine...
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2003 21:18:14 +1100

Hetta wrote:
>Ian Davis <not.all.certain> wrote:
>> If reserving something, I always bags it, never dibs.
>Hmmm, very practical... that way you get it even if it has been dibsed already.

I'm curious.. what is the relative precedence of 'calling' something, as opposed to bagsing it or dibsing it?

For a more concrete approach, consider the following question: A group of boisterous teenagers wish to go on a journey. Only one is of driving age and owns a car, therefore his (or her) seat is guaranteed. Of the remaining teenagers, one calls shotgun, one bagses it, one dibses it, and one merely insists upon it. Assuming that all teenagers make their demands instantaneously and contemporaneously, which teenager will acquire the coveted position? Assuming that the three seats in the back of the vehicle ranked {left, right, middle}, where will the remaining teenagers be seated? For bonus marks, sketch a brief plot synopsis of the kind of teenage road movie that might feature such an amalgam of youths.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Imagine...
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com>
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2003 21:58:37 +1100

Screwtape wrote:
> Assuming that all teenagers make their demands instantaneously and contemporaneously, which teenager will acquire the coveted position?

Easy, the one with the most obnoxious temper or the smelliest armpits gets to sit wherever. They go in rank of obnoxiousness, form most to least.

Much like Real Life, when you think about it.

> For bonus marks, sketch a brief plot synopsis of the kind of teenage road movie that might feature such an amalgam of youths.

Oh the horror...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Imagine...
From: Mike Fleming <{mike}.tauzero.co.uk>
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 10:41:19 +0000

"Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> writes:
> Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org> said:
> > Missle-guy gets the seat where it's easiest to pop up through the sun roof. Which, now that I think of it, is probably the front passenger seat.
> Sounds like a good follow-up project for Monster Garage, after the episode where they convert a limo into a fire truck.

Or something the A-team could knock up with the contents of the average American barn.

Why is it that every American barn contains a V8-powered truck (fully fuelled, in running order, with charged battery, despite having chickens roosting in it), welding equipment, and sheet metal, and if MacGyver happened to be a guest of the A-team at the time, would also contain plastic drain-piping, weedkiller, mollasses, something suitable for fuse material, wadding, and Tupperware containers just right to house more explosive to make explosive cannonballs? Is it the law?


From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>

> Why is it that every American barn contains a V8-powered truck (fully

Dang! As FC once said, it's time to paint the windows black.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Imagine...
From: not.all.certain (Ian Davis)
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2003 07:32:08 GMT

Shadow Wolf <shadow_wolf.softhome.net> wrote:
>Funny -- the (sex) story I started writing (last year, see .sig) is about exactly that... Unfortunately, I haven't gotten very far yet.

Life imitates art, once again.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: The Drinking Song - Pt 1
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Sun, 09 Feb 2003 19:41:02 +1100

Last night I dreamed a sweet Fanta Sea -
Endless faux orange and a straw just for *me* 8(
Tonight I'll dream a full lake of schnapps -
That well might work better...

Maybe...


Perhaps...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The Drinking Song - Pt 1
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Sun, 09 Feb 2003 23:22:29 +1100

Laurent wrote:
> SaraM wrote:
> > Last night I dreamed a sweet Fanta Sea -
> > Endless faux orange and a straw just for *me* 8(
> > Tonight I'll dream a full lake of schnapps -
> > That well might work better...
> >
> > Maybe...
> >
> > Perhaps...
>
> Last night I dreamed something Wine-Derful
> A half-glass of TGV or a full
> But at morning I had the head all over
> Tonight I'll dream only about bier
>
> Indeed...
>
> Somewhat healtier...

Last night I dreamt I found a cellar,
Far off, abandoned, all alone,
Crammed full of classic vintages
From Bordeaux to the Cote du Rhone.
Smiling, pleased, I tiptoed past
Laden racks, all dust overblown,
Then, after having selected a nice mixed dozen,
I found I'd left my corkscrew back at home 8(


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: The Drinking Song - Pt 2 (Was The Drinking Song - Pt 1)
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com>
Date: Sun, 09 Feb 2003 23:15:31 +1100

SaraM wrote:
>Last night I dreamed a sweet Fanta Sea -
>Endless faux orange and a straw just for *me* 8(
>Tonight I'll dream a full lake of schnapps -
>That well might work better...
>
>Maybe...
>
>
>Perhaps...

A fantasy including Fanta?
See, her mind plays japes with oranges.
For Pepsi, I would run at canter,
But at the mere thought of Fanta my whole body trembles then
recoils...

perhaps...

or cringes.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: The Drinking Song - Pt 2 (Was The Drinking Song - Pt 1)
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Sun, 09 Feb 2003 23:51:51 +1100

GW De Lacey wrote:
> perhaps...
>
> or cringes.

Oranges and cringes?
You *dare* to rhyme these two?
I hereby sentence you to a life of lite beer
With chasers of ouzo, milk and Curacao blue.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: RHOD Theme Song?
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Mon, 10 Feb 2003 15:26:53 +1100

Tom Harrington wrote:
> So, what should RHOD's theme song be? I'm torn between two choices:
> "I Eat Cannibals", by Total Coelo
> "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw?", by Jimmy Buffet

"I Love Rhod and Trolls - form another line for the hot tub, baby..." by Joan Jett? (?)


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: RHOD Theme Song?
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Mon, 10 Feb 2003 17:15:21 +0000

SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au> writes
>"I Love Rhod and Trolls - form another line for the hot tub, baby..." by Joan Jett? (?)

I take it RF never did follow up "Meme of Distraction" with "Rhod to Hell" then? Ah well, there's only so much filking a body can be expected to stand in a short span of time.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*---Still looking for an upwardly mobile newsfroup--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: RHOD Theme Song?
From: Bystander <Bystander.THEGARBAGE.attbi.com>
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 13:36:56 GMT

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> wrote:
> So, what should RHOD's theme song be? I'm torn between two choices:
> "I Eat Cannibals", by Total Coelo
> "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw?", by Jimmy Buffet

Most appropriate to this lot would be:
"They're coming to take me away, ha ha"

Bystander (back from LA LA land)

--
Wanted:

Sig with wit, clarity, and some Dr. Demento long johns


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: I have WAY too much time on my hands
From: Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com>
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 23:48:39 -0600

Ken Adams wrote:
<snip>
> I can sometimes be found posting in sci.military.naval, especially if the never-ending battleship flame war is in an active phase.

What about a battleship incites such fervor?

Other than, I suppose, sinking it.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: I have WAY too much time on my hands
From: "Ken Adams" <kmadams85.comcast.net>
Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 20:46:47 -0500

"Jeffrey Kaplan" <rhod.gordol.org> wrote:
> Ken Adams said:
> ; It's about the same thing, with a twist. Battleships were beautiful, and powerful, and are utterly obsolete (as I well know, having served in USS Iowa from 1988-90). Their obsolescence as capital ships was proven once and for all in the early stages of WWII, but there are still advocates out there who feel the need to push for reactivation, just because they're k3wl ships with lots of firepower.
> According to my brother, there are only two kinds of naval vessels. Submarines and targets. Guess where he works?

Ahhhh, submarines, where 100 men go out on patrol and 50 couples return...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: 0wnz0r!!!1!!
From: jevans.physics.uottawa.ca (JIM Evans)
Date: 13 Feb 2003 07:38:05 -0800

Comrade Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com> wrote:
> I think I saw some of that match. I don't know much about cricket, but I wasn't aware that cross-checking was a part of the sport. What innovators the Canananadians are!

Yeah, those poofy southerners can't take it when you start playing cricket like a REAL game, with blood and hitting and beavers and hitting and Russians and more hitting. This isn't some wimpy "field hockey" crap that GIRLS play, no sirree. This CRICKET CANADA STYLE!!!!!

JIM, (There, that should poke Sid with a pointed stick.)


From: "One_Pierced_One" <1_pierced_1.cheapcunt.net>

/me snickers about the 'hitting the beavers' line....


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: 0wnz0r!!!1!!
From: jevans.physics.uottawa.ca (JIM Evans)
Date: 13 Feb 2003 07:58:30 -0800

Comrade Teh wrote:
> Jeffrey Kaplan wrote:
> > JIM Evans said:
> >; JIM, no, really, I'll catch up as soon as I have the time. And a home net connection again.
> >Yay! JIM is almost-back!
> The JIM-bot is up and running, running away true, but still this is Teh best news all week.

Yup, been getting caught up via Google, refamiliarizing the latest version of the 'bot and whatnot. Fortunately rhod is holographic, so it's not as daunting as it seems at first...

I realised recently that, back when I used to read rhod at work regularly, I used to get a lot more done. Therefore, it logically follows that if I start reading rhod again, my productivity will rise. Swell, if you will, to gargantuan proportions. Allowing me to finish my PhD quickly and then move to be with my sweetie in...

< No, no, I can't say it.

But I'm amoung friends, right? I can admit these possibly unpleasant truths, without fear of ridicule?


Wait, this is rhod. Ridicule is why I come here.


No. No, it's best to come clean (ooh, you lot!). The truth will burn within me like a thing that burns, within me, until I douse it with the baking soda and vinegar of honest confession. >


... Belgium.


Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pop round the corner for some waffles and frieten.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: 0wnz0r!!!1!!
From: Daniel Glick <rhod.danielglick.com>
Date: Sat, 15 Feb 2003 01:52:47 GMT

JIM Evans wrote:
[snip]
> ... Belgium.

Jesus! And I thought moving to Boise was bad.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: 0wnz0r!!!1!!
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 09:58:04 +1100

sc.pffcu.com wrote:
> Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com> wrote:
> > JIM Evans wrote:
> >> ... Belgium.
> > Thank $DEITY, I thought you were going to say Toronto.
> I knew a kid in Toronto who was killed in Belgium once.

I'll be in Toronto in April. Can anyone arrange for me to meet The Kid?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: 0wnz0r!!!1!!
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 01:14:59 +0000 (UTC)

Ian Davis <not.all.certain> said:
> I'll be in Toronto in April. Can anyone arrange for me to meet The Kid?

Be careful...if you don't find someone matching the description, it could be that *you* are that kid. Of course, you'd find out soon enough anyway, as you got killed in umpteen hunnert ways.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies know a boy in Chrana that died from being an Australian doctor


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: It makes me sick, it does...
From: Mike Fleming <{mike}.tauzero.co.uk>
Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 14:23:40 +0000

TechnoAtheist <TechnoAtheist.unitedheroes.SPAMISBAD.net> writes:
> I'm sorry, but I really need to speak out about this. Over the years I've been able to ignore it, but frankly it's gotten quite out of control. It seems as if I simply can't get away from it. I swear that it seems to follow me, hunting me down like a rabid badger on crack, rooting me out from behind the bushes.

That's because it's down the back of the settee. Just clean it out, for heaven's sake.



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