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2003 01 B.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Arrgh!!
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Thu, 16 Jan 2003 16:15:45 +0000 (UTC)

steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com> said:
> Alessandro wrote:
>> steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com> wrote:
>>> Now if only we could find the Washer of Discord, then we'd have something. And I've always thought the Bleach of Goth had a nice feel to it.
>> Bleach of Goth? As in "blacker than black"?
> ObRef: "That is really bad for the eyes ..."
> And the Bleach of Goth isn't really black -- it looks black from far away, but when you get close, you begin to realize it's just pin-stripes posing as black.
> Also reminds me of an idea one of my uncles had once, about a "dark lamp." You would turn it on, and it would generate darkness. There'd even be a dimmer switch, so you could adjust the level from "slightly dark" all the way down to "pitch black." He never specified, but I always imagined that the rest of the effects would be reversed, too, complete with "shadows" of light.

Just reverse engineer a dark-sucker and remove the safety interlocking that causes the device to dail when it reaches its darkness capacity, and then figure out how to control the dark explosion that would surely result when it is over-filled.

Please remember to credit me in the patent filings.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have more ideas, milligram for milligram, than any creature in the universe


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Arrgh!!
From: Bystander <Bystander.THEGARBAGE.attbi.com>
Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2003 05:14:45 GMT

steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com> wrote:
> Also reminds me of an idea one of my uncles had once, about a "dark lamp." You would turn it on, and it would generate darkness.

Probably wouldn't be feasible because of all the negative side effects.

I'll get me 'at.

Bystander

--
Wanted:

Sig with wit, clarity, and polarized lenses


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Arrgh!!
From: Laurent <braud.enseirb.fr>
Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2003 09:21:30 +0100

steven wrote:
> Also reminds me of an idea one of my uncles had once, about a "dark lamp." You would turn it on, and it would generate darkness.

:turn lamp on
It's pitch black here. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Arrgh!!
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com>
Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2003 21:15:10 +1100

Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>Laurent <braud.enseirb.fr> said:
>>:turn lamp on
>> It's pitch black here. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
>Not much. What's grue with you?

"'Ere girlie, 'ave a feel"
"Eww that's gruesome"
"Feel again, its gruesome more"

--
GW De Lacey... not pressing 'send' on this one, no siree...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Arrgh!!
From: cml246.nyu.edu (carla)
Date: 17 Jan 2003 09:17:57 -0800

Laurent <braud.enseirb.fr> wrote:
> A grue is a huge and strange animal. It lives in the darkness, awaiting unexperimented people who travel under the earth. Above all, it hates the light.

I have to say that I've always preferred bleen over grue.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Arrgh!!
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2003 01:42:38 +0000 (UTC)

Richard Fitzpatrick <ossipewsk.hotmail.com> said:
> Fierce Cookie wrote ...
>> In my day we had to make do with a bit of string and a cup that we used to measure micro changes in air density.
> Micro-changes in air density, my ass!

Well, that's another way to measure it, I guess.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies dial "Oh!"


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Arrgh!!
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 00:15:41 +0000 (UTC)

GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com> said:
> Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>>GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com> said:
>>> Blame Agent's splelchekca.
>>Sorry...that was meant as a "lucky git, you had...?!?!?!", not a"doun't youu Brits knouw houw to spell?"
> Heh...
> Hey everyone, Dan doesn't know how to spell 'Aussie'!

Hey now...the "i" is correct. Besides...it's all a bunch of former British empire anyway.

[psst...Dan--so was USA]

Roight. But you still drive on the left-hand side of the road. We dispensed with that Bri'ish silliness when we won the war.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to take some penicillin to fight their penile colonies


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What if...
From: sc.pffcu.com
Date: 16 Jan 2003 14:29:40 GMT

Fierce Cookie <putain.de.2cv.mindspring.com> wrote:
> Teh (t?'p?) wrote:
>> Clint Eastwood played Moses rather than Charlton Heston?
> I never saw that one, but I doubt Clint Eastwood could have given a convincing portrayal of Charlton Heston. Eastwood is too tall. I don't know how tall Moses was, so that might have worked.

Moses was 5'8, it says so in the Bible, in my Bible at least, and if it's written in the Bible it must be true. It's 'Property of sc', says so right here.

What worries me is that Clint Eastwood had his shinbones surgically shortened in order to play Charlton Heston, so now that he's done with the role the only way that he can stand at his normal height is by flexing his calves with near-supernatural strength. He can do it for up to 7 hours and twenty minutes, but that's why he squints. He's 106 years old, now, and he really should be in a Home but everybody is afraid to tell him so.

I think "The Outlaw Josey Wales" was a fine movie.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What if...
From: "Viki" <vvidt.netscape.net>
Date: Thu, 16 Jan 2003 23:33:03 GMT

<sc.pffcu.com> wrote:
: He's 106 years old, now, and he really should be in a Home but everybody is afraid to tell him so.

LOL
I can see Eastwood in a home, threatening the nurses who have to change his Depends.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What if...
From: sc.pffcu.com
Date: 21 Jan 2003 14:30:21 GMT

"Teh" <teh.mindless.com> wrote:
> Viki wrote:
>>LOL
>>I can see Eastwood in a home, threatening the nurses who have to change his Depends.
> Kind of like Paul Newman in "Where Teh Money Is" ?

Newman? Newman? What teh heck is Newman going to do, twinkle at them? Heck no, Clint's fashioned a crude but effective high explosive out of supplies found in the used mattress closet and he's put a saddle on the head nurse and is riding her up and down the ridgepole waving the head of the guy who does enemas. I've got home video of it on Super 8!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What if...
From: ossipewsk.hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick)
Date: 16 Jan 2003 19:18:20 -0800

sc.pffcu.com wrote ...
> for up to 7 hours and twenty minutes, but that's why he squints. He's 106 years old, now, and he really should be in a Home but everybody is afraid to tell him so.
> I think "The Outlaw Josey Wales" was a fine movie.

Whatever you're on, please can you send me some? It must be just *great*.

Not too much, mind - sounds like it's pretty strong.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: What if...
From: Bystander <Bystander.THEGARBAGE.attbi.com>
Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2003 14:57:16 GMT

Misty Devine <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
> "Daniel E. Macks" wrote:
>> Richard Fitzpatrick <ossipewsk.hotmail.com> said:
>> > Whatever you're on, please can you send me some? It must be just *great*.
>> > Not too much, mind - sounds like it's pretty strong.
>> %%
>> I feel you have reached the point
>> Where you are in need of a joint
>> We'll do bong-hits...
>> Puffin' with the Fitz.
>>
>> Do you feel you're just a cog?
>> And your mind is full of fog?
>> Here--lick this frog.
>> %%
>>
>> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies look rather plaid
>
> I'm not NOT licking frogs.....

Don't knock it till you've...whoa, check out these colors!

Bystander

--
Wanted:

Sig with wit, clarity, and a one-way ticket to South America


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Bushfires in and around Canberra
From: ossipewsk.hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick)
Date: 19 Jan 2003 18:46:06 -0800

Hi all. Many of you may or may not know that I live in Canberra, Australia's capital city. Some of you may also have seen on the news that significant parts of Canberra were seriously damaged, or at least affected, by bushfires in the last 48 hours.

Fortunately, my family and home and those of our friends (as far as we know) are all unharmed, although a couple of people at work have lost their homes and several came close. There but for the grace of $DEITY go we, I s'pose.

None of our direct experiences compares with some of the trauma and loss that some past and present contributors to rhod have suffered, but - if you will please indulge me for a moment - I would like to show you the timeline we went through.

It might help people to realise that it is high summer here now and that a large part of Australia, including Canberra, is in a one-in-a-100-year drought and that Canberra has a population of 330,000.

For the past week or two, bushfires have been burning 10-20 kms west of Canberra in the Namadgi National Park, much of which is inaccessible to fire-fighters. Yes, the wonderful water-bombers could get to it when the smoke allowed, but they are useless for controlling wide fire-fronts - their forte is protecting specific pieces of property or groups of people (e.g. a group of trapped fire-fighters or a power substation essential for fire-fighting).

For much of the week we have been able to see the plumes and pillars of smoke from the fires to our west and they were clearly getting slowly closer.

Saturday morning dawned hot (37C) and dry with strong winds from the north-west at 40-75 km/h (about 20-40 knots) and we could see the fires and smoke on the ridgetops of the Brindabella Ranges due west of Canberra. We were not overly apprehensive and went 200metres down the road to a friend's house to swim in their pool, planning to be home by late afternoon.

By noon the smoke cloud was directly overhead. By 1:00PM the sun was a red disk that you could look at directly. By 2:00PM it was as dark as 10:00PM and the streetlights came on. We went home.

On the way home, we went to a local vantage point and looked to the west (fans of Deborah Conway will be glad to know that there was not a buzz alarm at sunrise).

We looked west towards the Brindabella Ranges, across the Tuggeranong Valley (an urban area), which was almost pitch black with twinkling streetlights and occasional red patches from spot fires. The Brindabellas were alive with flames, the horizon and whole western sky red with fire and roiling smoke.

Without a word of exaggeration, it was like looking across the Orc-Saruman military-industrial complex of Isengard directly into the fiery hell of Mordor. If you recall those images from the Fellowship of the Ring movie, you're pretty damn close to what our city was looking like.

Did I mention that at this stage we were getting showered by ash and the more than occasional piece of debris like bark and leaves, most of which were charred or at least singed? Well, we were. We went the remaining 100 metres home.

The news reports started coming through about the suburbs to the north and west of us being burnt, that several, then quite a few, then dozens of and then well over a hundred homes had been destroyed.

It was now 2:30 and dark as night. We did all the right things - packed a bag of essentials and irreplaceables, cleared out the gutters (already done), blocked the downpipes and filled the gutters with water, wet down the exterior walls and anything flammable in the yard. While on the roof, hosing down things generally, the falling bits were now as thick as rain and - ouch, dammit! - about 5% of them were still hot. Some of the bits of blackened bark were up to 60cm (2ft) long and 15cm (6") wide.

Then the ridgeline EAST of us caught fire, presumably spot fires from the falling debris. Fortunately the winds were still westerly, so those fires moved away from us. News reports from the western suburb of Duffy said that houses had literally exploded into flame *prior* to fire contact, as the radiant heat from the fire-front had heated them to ignition point (451F?) from well over 100 metres away. Duffy is (was?) adjacent to Rivett, where we lived until three and a half years ago. Our old house was less than two blocks from a street that was wiped out.

About this time (5:00PM) things started to calm down for everyone outside of the areas that were actually alight, although we were still on "high alert" for falling bits of burning crap. The wind was less - down to about 15 knots - and a wind-direction change was forecast for 8:00PM.

The wind change came through about 7:30PM - winds went from WNW (hot, dry, 15 knots) to NE (cooler, not so dry, 10 knots) and everyone relaxed. Everyone except us, that is. Now the pissy little grassfires on the ridge to our east started heading back down the hill towards us. From my perch on the rooftop (garden hose bravely in hand) I called to the neighbour on each side (doing the same) "If that reaches Longmore Road [about 150 metres from us], I'm effin' leavin'. It's only a house and I'm insured." After some deliberation, they concurred.

Those fires stopped about 200 metres from our houses. The winds changed further to south-east and kept our local fires at that distance. Phew.

The primary danger is past, but it's still pretty tense and everyone here is shocked, stunned, shattered or all three. It's still 35C (95F) and forecast to continue that way for the rest of the week. Fire-fighters and other services are regrouping, but it's still high alert and not over yet.

The current losses are:
. four people killed;
. 300+ injured; and
. 370 houses destroyed (expected to rise to 500).

How the hell we escaped with only four deaths when that many houses went up I have no idea. I think people learned from our "Ash Wednesday" tragedy a few years back when over 70 people died. People know now that when you hear the "get ready to evacuate" message on the radio that you should be ready to make your decision to go from then on - not wait for some kind fire-fighter to knock on your door and say "Time to go, luv."

If the warnings ever come to where you live, don't be complacent. Duffy was an ordinary semi-inner suburb at least thirty years old. A fully-settled suburb of ordinary houses and apartments and it BURNED, for goodness' sake - house by house, street by street. I still find that hard to believe, but I've been there and seen it.

Well, sorry to burden you all with that, but... there you go. It was worrying for a day or so, extremely scary for several hours and bloody terrifying for at least one period in there somewhere. BUT we were lucky, both individually and as a community - in terms of lives not lost, if not in terms of property. Public generosity has raised its comely head and the evacuation centres (where the occupants of the 370+ dwellings now dwell) have been inundated with donated clothes, food and time. Many of these people had little left other than what they were wearing.

Please don't be distressed by my apocalyptic portrayal. We are celebrating our own fortunate position, that so few people lost their lives and the warmth of the public support for the victims and the emergency service workers. Any recriminations for the whys and wherefores and so on are not for me or for now.

Take care and keep being rhod. Please. I need to know you lot are still being your wacky selves.

Cheers
Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti thinks smoke-scented clothing should be a compulsory fashion accessory.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bushfires in and around Canberra
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Mon, 20 Jan 2003 03:13:15 +0000 (UTC)

Richard Fitzpatrick <ossipewsk.hotmail.com> said:
> Hi all. Many of you may or may not know that I live in Canberra, Australia's capital city. Some of you may also have seen on the news that significant parts of Canberra were seriously damaged, or at least affected, by bushfires in the last 48 hours.
> Fortunately, my family and home and those of our friends (as far as we know) are all unharmed, although a couple of people at work have lost their homes and several came close. There but for the grace of $DEITY go we, I s'pose.

Glad to hear that you'n'yours are safe and sound (at least physically).

Scarily, I happened to see a weather map that listed that the area as having moderate-heavy *rain* (didn't say raining what). There was enough smoke that it appeared to radar as thick cloud cover.

Kinda helps keep the Great Homebrew Avalanche of '02 in perspective. Of course, you probably could have really used some of that right about now...

> Take care and keep being rhod. Please. I need to know you lot are still being your wacky selves.
> Cheers
> Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti thinks smoke-scented clothing should be a compulsory fashion accessory.

Sorry...I think smoking jackets haven't been in style for nearly a century.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies think they could've found a better method to control the drop-bear population


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bushfires in and around Canberra
From: "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.NO.SPAM.webone.com.au>
Date: Mon, 20 Jan 2003 23:08:25 +1100

Daniel E. Macks wrote ...
>Scarily, I happened to see a weather map that listed that the area as having moderate-heavy *rain* (didn't say raining what). There was enough smoke that it appeared to radar as thick cloud cover.

We haven't had average (or above) rain for four years. No real rain since November and nothing serious since July.

>Kinda helps keep the Great Homebrew Avalanche of '02 in perspective.

Indeed. That particular trouble has been packed up in the kit-bag of tragedy and I smile, smile, smile.

>Of course, you probably could have really used some of that right about now...

Well as long as I could drink it first and *then* put it on the fire...

>> Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti thinks smoke-scented clothing should be a compulsory fashion accessory.
>Sorry...I think smoking jackets haven't been in style for nearly a century.

Noel Coward's ghost is heading your way for a haunting.

>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies think they could've found a better method to control the drop-bear population

Well, the restaurant at the Mt Stromlo Observatory (to which TimC refers) is called the Red Belly Black Cafe - it's gone. The RBB is a local venomous snake[1] if that helps.

Richard F.

[1] Is there any other kind, I hear you ask.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bushfires in and around Canberra
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Mon, 20 Jan 2003 23:42:47 +1100

Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
>called the Red Belly Black Cafe - it's gone. The RBB is a local venomous snake[1] if that helps.
>[1] Is there any other kind, I hear you ask.

Believe it or not, my Strine colleague, but I've actually heard a rumour or two that there exists one or two *non-local* venomous snakes.

I know, I know, it's hard to believe.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bushfires in and around Canberra
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Mon, 20 Jan 2003 10:28:26 -0700

"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.NO.SPAM.webone.com.au> wrote:
> >Kinda helps keep the Great Homebrew Avalanche of '02 in perspective.
> Indeed. That particular trouble has been packed up in the kit-bag of tragedy and I smile, smile, smile.
> >Of course, you probably could have really used some of that right about now...
> Well as long as I could drink it first and *then* put it on the fire...

Natch, because that's the only safe way to do it. Beer contains alcohol, after all, and alcohol burns pretty well. It wouldn't be safe to put it on a fire without first processing it to remove the flammable parts, right?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bushfires in and around Canberra
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 08:55:22 +0000 (UTC)

Teh (tî'pô) <teh.mindless.com> said:
> Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>>Kinda helps keep the Great Homebrew Avalanche of '02 in perspective. Of course, you probably could have really used some of that right about now...
> Yeah, about that. I think the question on everyone's mind now is "Did Teh new beer survive?"

It di'nae merely survive, it got pasteurized!

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are heat-treated for her pleasure


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bushfires in and around Canberra
From: "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.NO.SPAM.webone.com.au>
Date: Thu, 23 Jan 2003 10:41:53 +1100

TimC wrote ...
>Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>> Richard Fitzpatrick <ossipewsk.hotmail.com> said:
>>> Hi all. Many of you may or may not know that I live in Canberra, Australia's capital city. Some of you may also have seen on the news that significant parts of Canberra were seriously damaged, or at least affected, by bushfires in the last 48 hours.
>I am going to have a lot of things to see when I visit, huh?

Well, with all the trees and many buildings gone, one can certainly see a lot further.

As you probably know, the Mt Stromlo [Astronomical] Observatory now looks like Salvador Dali's version of Moon Base Alpha.

>> Kinda helps keep the Great Homebrew Avalanche of '02 in perspective. Of course, you probably could have really used some of that right about now...
>Phew yeah. He'll make good use of my port too.

You bet - any port in a firestorm.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bushfires in and around Canberra
From: "Teh (tî'pô)" <teh.mindless.com>
Date: Mon, 20 Jan 2003 17:50:53 +0200

Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
>Screwtape wrote ...
>><snip the good news that Richard is alright - well, physically anyway :) >
>!!Phweep!! Repeated soppy sentiment in a newsfroup - penalty: three days without /.

Does this mean I won't have to fake caring? Kewl, if I could only get this to work with shmbo...

So, anyway, tell us Richard, have you stopped smoking yet?

--
Well look on Teh bright side, at least you weren't fired.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bushfires in and around Canberra
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Thu, 23 Jan 2003 08:55:59 +0000 (UTC)

Richard Fitzpatrick <fitzmor.NO.SPAM.webone.com.au> said:
> Daniel E. Macks wrote ...
>>Richard Fitzpatrick said:
>>> On the other hand, our BBQ on Sunday arvo had a unique smoked flavour and gritty aftertaste.
>>And by "BBQ" you mean "stuff you left outside"? Pretty neat concept, actually. Instead of having to go out and hunt down a kangaroo and then prepare and grill 'im, just wait a while, and then take a wander in the formerly-woods (or whatever kind of terrain a 'roo likes) and it'll all've been taken care of. Kinda like when a cow accidentally wanders into a wood-chipper that's pointed at a burning tire-dump.
> Kinda, but not. The roos didn't have the chance to be filleted first.
> Scared and hungry wildlife is now in the suburbs. I mean, what with the drought they already were (green lawns are more attractive than dry, um, dirt).
> The kids at my daughter's holiday-care program were momentarily entranced by kangaroos on the school oval yesterday.

Kids. *sheesh*.

Adults'd stare at 'em bounce for hours.

>>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies don't need a pita to make a kangaroo sandwich
> Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti thinks dan's brSff'ies are PITAs anyway they eat it.

Oh, sorry. I guess they were eating the wrong side, then.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies always go deep into the bush


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Bushfires in and around Canberra
From: "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.NO.SPAM.webone.com.au>
Date: Thu, 23 Jan 2003 10:45:15 +1100

TimC wrote:
>Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
>> Tom Harrington wrote:
>>>I shall take this under advisement. Also the bit about cleaning the gutters, which had not occurred to me before. We were luckier than Canberra last July mainly because the one really huge fire was in a much more rural area. However, our drought's comparable to yours, and it hasn't changed since then. I wonder what's coming for us a few months from now.
>> We have a couple of dozen fires currently in similar geography. You [including us] don't hear as much about those, of course.
>Heh. I remember 1998 where the fire front near Coonabarabran was 150 km's wide. It reached the nightly news, but about 2 seconds was devoted to it.

Yep, that's the way it goes, unfortunately. But they're mostly cotton farmers around there - each crop is almost as damaging as a fire anyway.

>I was impressed with JJJ (national youth radio - none of this pop muzak crap) this morning where they had the director of the telescope on the radio for about 10 minutes.

Well, he had fuck-all else to do, given his instruments and computing power are a twisted mazy mess.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: URL time: THE TWO TOWERS (condensed)
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Wed, 22 Jan 2003 20:59:32 +1100

"Teh (tî'pô)" wrote:
> Al Sharka wrote:
> >Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
> >> Al Sharka wrote ...
> >>> Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
> >>> > Tom Harrington wrote
> >>> >> I wish I had written that. :-)
> >>> > You will, Tom, you will. ;-)
> >>> His majesty is like a stream of Gollum piss.
> >> Eeeewww. Not even the most ardent of LOTR slash fanfic writers would have done that, I'm sure.
> >Er, well, what I meant was: He shines out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.
> Al me boy, you're like a big jam doughnut with cream on Teh top.

<CHOMP>


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.NO.SPAM.webone.com.au>
Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 14:23:23 +1100

Tom Harrington wrote ...
> Kegs <me.privacy.net> wrote:
>> I wonder how long it will take for the sigmonster to attain sentience?
>Pfft, everyone knows that Google's going to become sentient first. That is, if it hasn't already. Skynet? Wintermute?

Not to mention One True and so on.

>No, Google.

Omigod - a massive sentience with Usenet records as its frame of reference. It would be an enormous power for either good or evil - but of course it will be ineffectual, not being able to focus for more than two responses on even the most important issues.

>Um, should I be X-No-Archiving this?

If Google truly is/will be sentient, do you think that will matter?

Anyway, it will be so chuffed at your forward thinking and recognition of its imminent eminence, you will be heralded as its equivalent of John the Baptist.

And we all know what happened to him...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Sun, 26 Jan 2003 22:10:56 +0000 (UTC)

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> said:
> st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
>> Chris Wesling wrote:
>> >Tom Harrington wrote:
>> >> "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.NO.SPAM.webone.com.au> wrote:
>> >> > Anyway, it will be so chuffed at your forward thinking and recognition of its imminent eminence, you will be heralded as its equivalent of John the Baptist.
>> >> > And we all know what happened to him...
>> >> Right, he wrote a short book that wasn't even original (duplicating, as it did, a story told three other contemporary authors) and was immortalized for it.
>> >He also had his head delivered on a platter to some ungrateful bint, as I recall...
>> *cough*
>> I'm sure this is being unconscionably pedantic, but St. John the Baptist was a completely different fellow from John the Disciple, who wrote the Gospel of John, an epistle or two and the book of Revelation.
>> *wibble*
> Eh, they all look the same to me.

...: decomposed.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies erased Beethoven's symphonies


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: ossipewsk.hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick)
Date: 29 Jan 2003 14:42:41 -0800

sc.pffcu.com wrote:
> Richard Fitzpatrick said:
> ; One was allegedly Mary's brother and the other her second cousin (or was that first cousin once removed?).
> Is there a technical term for the husband of ones wife's sister?

"The only hope you've got of getting the inside info on what-the-hell-is-bugging-my-wife?"

> I've finally got the nth cousin and n times removed thing sussed...

Really? Please, please, please will you share this wisdom? Especially the difference(s) (if any) between second cousins, third cousins and cousins removed n times (where n is an integer greater than one).

Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti kisses cousins, except in Tasmania, the Maritime Provinces and various small Southern and New England American States.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 15:59:01 -0700

ossipewsk.hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick) wrote:
> Really? Please, please, please will you share this wisdom? Especially the difference(s) (if any) between second cousins, third cousins and cousins removed n times (where n is an integer greater than one).

The only term that matters in these cases is "distant relatives".


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Thu, 30 Jan 2003 17:09:31 +0000

sc.pffcu.com writes
>I'd just like to mention the time that my father's second wife married the ex-husband of her first husband's second wife. Which made, as far as I could tell, my ex-stepsiblings stepsiblings to each other. I still don't think they could have married each other, however.

Unless they were Royal. And had porphyria.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*-----*-Prophyria: a condition that causes members--
--*-----*--*----*----*--of the Royal Family to turn into dolphins--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: davehinz.spamcop.net
Date: 30 Jan 2003 21:12:02 GMT

Hetta <spamtrap.hetta.saunalahti.fi> wrote:
> sc.pffcu.com wrote:
>> I'd just like to mention the time that my father's second wife married the ex-husband of her first husband's second wife. Which made, as far as I could tell, my ex-stepsiblings stepsiblings to each other. I still don't think they could have married each other, however.
> My head hurts.

Maybe you should see a nerbalist?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Thu, 30 Jan 2003 16:37:52 -0700

linsley.linsley.best.vwh.net (Charles Linsley) wrote:
> >Dave "I'm my own 17th cousin once-removed, just for the record" Hinz
> What I find most remarkable about this is that you have traced that many generations back. I only have 14 generations back (16 counting me and my kids).

When you go back that far, do you get to single-celled life forms? Once I get to about the third generation back, half of what I know is guessed anyway.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 2003 13:04:19 -0700

linsley.linsley.best.vwh.net (Charles Linsley) wrote:
> In what is now the US, New England and Quaker church records are quite good, but civil records before 1900 are spotty, at best.

So, I guess they should have used an acid-free paper or something?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: FOAK sigmonster
From: Kegs <me.privacy.net>
Date: 28 Jan 2003 06:37:00 +0000

"Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> writes:
> Kegs <me.privacy.net> said:
> > "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> writes:
> >> You're not using strfile/fortune because...?
> > I want to keep the size of the quotes down to one or two liners, and it was really to see if I would be able to write my own.
> I was recommending it as a way to handle your quote library, not necessarily to use as source material. Its random-quote selector is very efficient (cf. the Camel Book random-line alogrithm)

Ah, and this is different from the random-line algorithm in the Perl Cookbook is it (I'll go and have a hunt through the camel book dreckly), which is the algorithm I used for the sigmonster.

> > Oh and, I hadn't found the fortune files when I wrote the sigmonster script and I can't be arsed to change it now that it actually works.
> Given enough time, a suitably-sentient sigmonster will discover ever-more-efficient aligrithms and rewrite itself accordingly. Eventually, any given sigmonster will converge towards a single super-species[1] that is so highly efficient that it can spend virtually all day downloading porn and only occasionally do its actual assigned task. Any resemblance between this situation and me is completely coincidental.

Ah, so the sigmonster should be sufficiently complex that in a few months it will be exibiting behaviour that makes HAL look like well-adjusted pocket calculator?

> [1] Anyone wanna collaborate on a project to seed Siggy with the Gaussian98 quote-file and an initial geometry and let it evolve itself into the global minimum?

Surely that'll end in tears when siggy meets the Google beast and they either have a massive fight that breaks the internet, or they decide to cooperate in turning us into their slaves?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: LotR filk-in-progress
From: steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: 24 Jan 2003 15:21:29 -0600

Chris Wesling wrote:
> Got an earworm I have to get rid of, and hopefully get some ideas from all you creative types as well. I was thinking this morning about what a great job Weird Al did with his Phantom Menace version of "American Pie", and wondered what he might come up with for Lord of the Rings.
> The tune "We Will Rock You" came to mind, followed shortly by the opening line "Frodo was a young lad", and now I've got a few other pieces here and I can't stop this thing from running through my head.
> Since one of the best ways to stop an earworm is to give it to somebody else, I thought I'd share my pain with you all. *evil grin* Suggestions welcome!
>
> o/~
> Frodo was a young lad
> DA-da-da-da-DA da
> Barely thirty-three, da-da-DA da da
> Da-da-DA-da da-da
> Da-DA da da
> Carry the Ring, got to keep it away
>
> From those E-vil, E-vil Nazgul. (*stomp-stomp-whack*)
> E-vil, E-vil Nazgul. (*stomp-stomp-whack*)
> o/~

Nice, but you've started in the middle. Granted, that's the part most people start paying attention to, since they don't recognize the song until the "We will rock you" bit, which preceeds each verse.

So, let's see, now ...

o/~
Frodo you're a halfling, make no noise
Hunted by the Nazgul gonna be a hero some day
You got the Ring on your Neck
Your mind's a wreck
It's trapping your will with a nasty trick
Singin'

Take me, take me to Sauron!
Take me, take me to Sauron!

Frodo you're a young lad hard lad
Shoutin' in the street gonna take on Mordor some day
You got the Ring on your hand
It's in command
It plans to take over all of this land,
Singin'

Take me, take me to Sauron!
Take me, take me to Sauron!

Frodo you're an old lad, poor lad
Not in your right mind gonna make it to Mount Doom some day
The Ring's wearing your face
You big disgrace
But Gollum's followed you straight to this place
Still it's singin'

Take me, take me to Sauron!
Take me, take me to Sauron!
~/o

Okay, so I took it in a completly different direction than you intended. I blame the Ring.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Someone has too much time on their hands
From: Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org>
Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 21:40:18 -0500

While scanning the list of groups available on a server somewhere (sorry, I don't know which, I was sent a newsrc equivalent for diagnostic reasons) I found this list of groups:
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Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Someone has too much time on their hands
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Mon, 27 Jan 2003 20:34:07 -0700

Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org> wrote:
> While scanning the list of groups available on a server somewhere (sorry, I don't know which, I was sent a newsrc equivalent for diagnostic reasons) I found this list of groups:

[snip list]

Hmmm, for some reason my news server does not carry any of these. I better write and complain to the admins.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Digest #1306
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Tue, 28 Jan 2003 17:43:23 +0000

...
} Results:
} 1. The Oracle's Lost and Found
} 2. The Juno Queue Drainer's wallet
} 3. Richard Wilson's wallet
} 4. The RHOD Lost and Found [I *don't* want to know where that's located...]
} 5. Tim Chew's hair's wallet
} [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... 102 103 | Next Page>>

Gosh, after all this time, there's still incarnations out there in Oracleland who remember my name. That is just *so* touching.

I may cry.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*----Unless, of course, it's a reference to the actor from--
--*-----*---*--One Foot in the Grave. In which case, as you were---


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Digest #1306
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 17:42:09 +0000

Hetta <spamtrap.hetta.saunalahti.fi> writes
>Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>> Gosh, after all this time, there's still incarnations out there in Oracleland who remember my name. That is just *so* touching.
>> I may cry.
>There there. How come you're still up and about? Not swaddled in bandages, as it were?

You ascribe to the view that NHS nurses bandage anything they encounter not wearing a white coat, I take it? When not bending solicitously over your bed looking like the young Felicity Kendall (and, incidentally, displaying a good deal of cleavage barely held in check by their tight, starched uniforms in the process), gently stroking your fevered brow and muttering "There, there".

I regret to say the reality is closer to a bunch of Anne Widdecombe's uglier sisters, sitting in their cubicle chatting and drinking tea whilst studiously ignoring the plaintive cries of "Nu-urse!" from the old gent in the third bed from the left who has, once again, had "a bit of an accident". And then, every two hours or so, wheeling out the Drugs Trolley and filling everyone up with paracetamol to make them shut up.

My advice to young rhodents: if you're British and if you don't have private medical insurance, serious illness is not a good life choice.

>Have you gotten your pen back?

Now you are indulging in persiflage.

>And how's life in general?

Fine apart from all the above. And not having enough time for writing, rhodding, general time-wasting, etc. It's Kinzler's fault - he doesn't pay incarnations a decent living wage. There ought to be a law.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----The NHS - love it or hate it, you can't be sick without it--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Digest #1306
From: Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com>
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 12:50:51 -0600

Richard Wilson wrote:
>>And how's life in general?
> Fine apart from all the above. And not having enough time for writing, rhodding, general time-wasting, etc. It's Kinzler's fault - he doesn't pay incarnations a decent living wage. There ought to be a law.

You're supposed to skim a little off the top of the offerings.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Digest #1306
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Thu, 30 Jan 2003 07:33:14 +1100

Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> I regret to say the reality is closer to a bunch of Anne Widdecombe's uglier sisters, sitting in their cubicle chatting and drinking tea whilst studiously ignoring the plaintive cries of "Nu-urse!" from the old gent in the third bed from the left who has, once again, had "a bit of an accident".

The scene: Queen Victoria Medical Centre, Melbourne, 1982. A crowd of innocent young medical students. From behind the curtain, plaintively, in an elderly and somewhat fragile voice: "Sister, quick, sister, quick, oh too late..." followed by a flood of yellow liquid across the floor.

Ah, memories.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Digest #1306
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 21:53:29 +0000

Ian Davis <not.all.certain> writes
> "Sister, quick, sister, quick, oh too late..." followed by a flood of yellow liquid across the floor.

Well, he should have got a nurse to hold his bluddy tin of Fosters for him, the old twit.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*--I have no patience for carelessly drinking patients--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Digest #1306
From: Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never_Read.email.com>
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 20:35:33 GMT

Also Sprach Richard Wilson:
> My advice to young rhodents: if you're British and if you don't have private medical insurance, serious illness is not a good life choice.

It's not much fun for us old rhodents either.

I now have private medical insurance, of course. It came with my new 2 year contract. It doesn't cover pre-existing conditions for the first two years of membership. It seems I must develop something new and serious to gain any benefit. Any ideas?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Digest #1306
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 15:21:08 -0700

Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never_Read.email.com> wrote:
> I now have private medical insurance, of course. It came with my new 2 year contract. It doesn't cover pre-existing conditions for the first two years of membership. It seems I must develop something new and serious to gain any benefit. Any ideas?

Consumption was once the disease of the rich and well off, wasn't it? If you can't get that, arrange for it to be something that'll be reported in the papers.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Digest #1306
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 13:39:11 -0700

Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com> wrote:
> > My advice to young rhodents: if you're British and if you don't have private medical insurance, serious illness is not a good life choice.
> So the young molerette has indeed been banished to Australia, then?

The word you're looking for is "transported".


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Digest #1306
From: Phil Smith <pas51.NOSPAMcam.ac.uk>
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 21:12:44 +0000

Tom Harrington wrote in rec.humor.oracle.d:
> Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com> wrote:
> > So the young molerette has indeed been banished to Australia, then?
> The word you're looking for is "transported".

On that subject, the following is from a US edition of 'The Weakest Link' (as reported in Private Eye):

}Q: What island prison was closed in 1967 when the last of the inmates were transferred?
}A: Australia

The correct answer is of course Alcatraz.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Tapping into the rhod expertise: MySQL
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 20:25:39 +1100

Teh (tî'pô) wrote:
>Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>>phpMyAdmin <http://www.phpmyadmin.net/> is great, but alas it's web-based. xmysql and xmysqladmin work.
>cucZlNqzva
>kzlfdy naq kzlfdynqzva jbex.
>Darn...

Stop swearing at me in kzinti, dammit!

Screwtape,
...frellin' fargnax.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another "THE url"?
From: <dmparker.dmparker.com>
Date: Thu, 30 Jan 2003 15:30:04 GMT

"Misty Devine" <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
> dmparker.dmparker.com wrote:
> > "Misty Devine" <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
> > > cparker429.houston.rr.com wrote:
> > > > "Misty Devine" <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
> > > > > sc.pffcu.com wrote:
> > > > > > Misty Devine <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
> > > > > > > aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> > > > > > Well, it appears that she did look at it.
> > > > > > Could someone get the spatula and the Hefty bags, please.
> > > > > no, i was screaming at the horrible accusations being spewed at me. You will know when I have looked at it. I am much more creative with my sound effects than that.
> > > > > I AM SO NOT hook or dmp!!! and quit saying that dammit!
> > > > Yeah, she's not me, I'm certain, she's better looking. I'm still back, I just haven't found a good place to insinuate myself yet.
> > > > The DMP! (ask me about my piercings, oh please oh please)
> > > AHA!! I told you!!!! muah hahahahahaha
> > So now that I've backed you up can we have sex now?
> > The DMP!
> ewwww not after what i have heard about you....

Only half of what you've heard is true, and the other half was seriously exaggerated. Truth is I'm a very nice guy who just likes to stick needles through his penis. I'm sure you have some wacky little quirk like that....

> Look people, all this talk about him and you have dredged him up from somewhere.... way to go!

Its not the first time, I seem to know when I am being discussed around here and come back just in time to reinforce my reputation.

The DMP!
"Vronsky was a cad"


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another "THE url"?
From: sc.pffcu.com
Date: 29 Jan 2003 20:37:20 GMT

Misty Devine <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
> I AM SO NOT hook or dmp!!! and quit saying that dammit!

Of course you aren't. Who ever said you were? You're not real. You're all just a pack of cards. Turn around, I want to see the bicycle.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another "THE url"?
From: sc.pffcu.com
Date: 30 Jan 2003 14:52:10 GMT

Misty Devine <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
> Stupid.... not a bicycle - the logo for the trouncing tittie *shakes head* what do you take me for?

A large man from the Society for the Preservation of Straight Lines would like to talk with you about your flagrant misuse of this precious natural resource.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another "THE url"?
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: 31 Jan 2003 00:01:09 GMT

davehinz wrote:
> Al Sharka wrote:
>> No. Never like that. No way. The very thought causes me to completely retract and hide inside behind my backbone. The effect is worse than going wading in Lake Superior in January.
> You've been in Lake Superior in January, have you? Was there any sort of a good reason for such a thing?

Err, I must have inadvertantly left off the "I've heard" part. I _have_ been in Lake Superior in July, though.

-- Al, there can't be much of a difference, really. It was just for illustrative purposes.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another "THE url"?
From: <dmparker.dmparker.com>
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 2003 02:53:20 GMT

"Eli the Bearded" <*.eli.users.panix.com> wrote:
> The squeamish are advised not to read.
>
> Hey if you're into that sort of thing perhaps you should ask Todd Bertrang (google for the site -- which is not work safe) for a subincision or one of those other serious things. I mean a piercing can only revolt so much. An actual cut-in-half-but-still-functioning organ will so much more blow people's minds.
> That is if the state of California doesn't convict him of performing surgery illegally.
> Elijah
> ------
> won't have sex with you, no need to ask

I've considered subincision, it looks a bit like a fish filet...I kinda like it, and I already have to sit to pee, so it wouldn't change my life dramatically. He's not the only piercer in the world who does it. I know the guy who did my deep appy would do it, and possibly my piercer in Houston.

Shit subincision is a minor thing, I could probably do that to myself with an exacto knife.

Hot Damn! A weekend project!

The DMP!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another "THE url"?
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com>
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 2003 15:30:08 +1100

<dmparker.dmparker.com> wrote:
>Shit subincision is a minor thing, I could probably do that to myself with an exacto knife.
>Hot Damn! A weekend project!

Heh...
You've been missed, but I don't know why.

--
GW De Lacey
Whose liver and white English springer spaniel is re-adjusting the sights.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another "THE url"?
From: <dmparker.dmparker.com>
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 2003 14:20:27 GMT

"Misty Devine" <mdevine3.uwo.ca> wrote:
> I am at my job... needless to say, I work very hard!!

Tee-hee, you said 'hard'

> No sex - I am afraid your piercing would pierce me too!!

OK, I have to come clean, my last trip to the asylum they wouldn't let me keep the deep appy <cry>. They made me take it out, since I stayed there over a week there was no way to get it back in <weep>. So really all I have left is a neat hole at the top of my dick, and a 0-gauge Prince Albert--and that's a ring...hell I'll even take it out for your comfort.

Now can we have sex?

The DMP!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Another "THE url"?
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Thu, 30 Jan 2003 12:47:39 -0700

cml246.nyu.edu (carla) wrote:
> No, no, it would be in the "do you know your .$$ from a hole in the ground" test.

What we need is a "do you know a burro from a burrow" test.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Random Injoke Thoughts
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 2003 01:53:49 +0000 (UTC)

Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org> said:
>> Today is: Thu Sep 3439 15:31:21 MDT 1993
> Now all I need is something for the Palm to do

I can't honestly believe you can't figure this one out yourself, but at any rate, you chose the right place to come for advice.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have a bad, bad monkey


From: Bystander <Bystander.THEGARBAGE.attbi.com>

>> Now all I need is something for the Palm to do

Now how did I know that that particular straight line would summon dan and the fishies?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: The year of living dangerously
From: google.unitedheroes.net (TechnoAtheist)
Date: 31 Jan 2003 08:21:05 -0800

It's a special time among the priesthood, a time that only comes around once every twelve years.

When a time of plenty becomes too much. A time when previous indiscretions, come back, with a vengeance.

There is mutton wrong with your TV set for we have entered,

The Year of the Sheep.


It's time to pull the wool over their thighs.



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