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2003 03 a.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Philm Phun (Kritixs Qorner)
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Mon, 03 Mar 2003 11:54:18 -0700

Getting somewhat back to the topic...

You want to talk about bad movies? I don't mean fun-cheesy-bad movies like "Godzilla's Revenge". I'm talking about really appallingly bad films, the kind that make you regret having wasted a chunk of your time on this planet watching it.

I refer, of course, to "Dune". I saw it this past weekend for the first time. Just terrible, in so many ways.

I won't bore people with detailed complaints about how it differed from the book, because this movie's problems run so much deeper than that. What was an interesting, complex book instead becomes a random soup of characters who lurch from event to event without reason or motivation. As much as it annoys people who have read the book, it also utterly fails to work for those who have not. But I'll lay out two fundamental rules of book adaptations that really shouldn't be broken:

1. If you have to cut stuff in the interest of time, make sure that the plot still makes sense.

You may well need to lose certain scenes to keep the movie to a reasonable length. But you can't just randomly drop things and pretend that the story still works. You still need to account for plot developments that may have happened in that scene, one way or another.

In comparison, there were parts of "Lord of the Rings" that I wished had not been cut. But I could live with the cuts because the resulting plot was at least internally consistent, and for the most part you still know why the characters do what they do. Not so in "Dune".

So, for example: If you're going to have a big battle scene in which the hero discovers an old, trusted friend on the opposing side, you can still make cuts to the story leading up to it. But you must still (a) give some reason why the battle is happening (what, they just decided to shoot each other up because there wasn't anything good on TV?), and (b) explain why this trusted old friend is on the opposing side (what, he switched sides? Not really, but that's the way it looks on screen, and if so, why's he still trusted?).

Or another one: Say you've just explained that a planet's natives are wary of outsiders, and do not give their trust quickly or easily, and then a couple of the main characters stumble into a group of them. It does not work if these natives accept these strange outsiders into their inner circle in under 30 seconds, for no reason at all.

This one really hit home near the end. There's a scene in which a very young, possibly vulnerable, important character ends up in the clutches of both of the film's villains. My wife, who had not read the book, asked, "How the hell did she get there?". It was to all appearances random, as if she'd decided to drop in for tea while we were occupied with an action sequence somewhere else. Of course, there's a reasonable explanation, but the filmmakers didn't bother to tell the audience about it.

2. If you're already cutting the story, you shouldn't make shit up, unless it's absolutely necessary to meet rule #1.
2a. "Wouldn't it be cool if..." is not a reason for violating rule 2.
2b. Even if you are David Lynch

So for example:
- Sandworms bowing religiously before Paul after he drinks the water of life.
- Thufir's poisoning now requires him to milk a cat? Where the fuck did that come from?
- The Harkonnen have heart plugs? Like they weren't evil enough already?
- Prolonged scenes of the Baron... flying?

OK, so maybe I am boring people a little with details of how the film differed from the book. If you haven't read it (and are inexplicably still reading), just trust me: The above are extremely weird things added to the movie for no discernible reason aside from somebody saying "You know what would be cool?".

For the most part the problems seem to reflect a film production focused entirely on the admittedly stunning visuals, to the degree that they forgot there's supposed to be a story in there, too. Well, except for one part. When Paul and Jessica are escaping from the sand worm, and they hide in the rocks, and the sand worm bashes its head against the narrow gap they've just come through. Or rather, a screen is stretched across this gap and footage of such a sandworm filmed with very different lighting is badly reverse-projected onto it. Folks, Ed Wood would have blushed in embarassment at the special effects in this scene.

Please, people, if you have not seen this movie, DO NOT make the mistake that I did. It should not be watched under any circumstances.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Philm Phun (Kritixs Qorner)
From: Eli the Bearded <*.eli.users.panix.com>
Date: Mon, 3 Mar 2003 22:53:50 +0000 (UTC)

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> wrote:
> I refer, of course, to "Dune". I saw it this past weekend for the first time. Just terrible, in so many ways.

I rather liked it. But I've never read the book.

> I won't bore people with detailed complaints about how it differed from the book, because this movie's problems run so much deeper than that. What was an interesting, complex book instead becomes a random soup of characters who lurch from event to event without reason or motivation.

You know that the two hour version is heavily edited don't you? I've seen a four hour version and heard rumors of a six hour edit.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Dangerously bad movies (Re: Philm Phun (Kritixs Qorner))
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 09:07:17 +1100

Tom Harrington wrote:
>I forgot to mention one salient detail in my recent rant about David Lynch's version of "Dune":
>The day after I watched it, my DVD player broke.
>I find it hard to believe that this might be a coicidence.

It committed suicide rather than risk being used to play Dune again.

How... noble.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Philm Phun (Kritixs Qorner)
From: sc.pffcu.com
Date: 3 Mar 2003 21:15:25 GMT

sc.pffcu.com wrote:
> Folks and folkettes,
> I am soliciting your (plural) opinion for weekend entertainment in the form of videotapes and/or DVDs.

Well, here I am following myself up, something I once thought to be as tacky and declasse as the building of weapons of mass destruction.

Never the less, thanks to your (plural!) informed opinions, I did watch and enjoy both "Eight-Legged Freaks" and "Y Tu Mama' Tambie'n." Both of them were simply well awful and left me with the feeling that the great yawning bald cinematic hole in my psyche had been filled with celluloid filler, more pliable than spackle yet less useful than Silly Putty. The thing of it is after all was said and done, all was both said and done.

My thanks.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Which is worse?
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2003 01:22:47 +0000 (UTC)

Shadow Wolf <shadowolf.subdimension.com> said:
> In addition to Franklin, Alexander Hamilton is on the $10, and Salmon Chase (whom you've probably never heard of) was on the $10,000 (which you've probably never seen :-).

Actually, I've got a bunch of them still in the output tray.

Um, I mean...

Aw damn.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are just holding them for a Nigerian dictator's son


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Your Back or You're Back (was..."i'm back...")
From: motar.operamail.com (MOTAR the imperious)
Date: 1 Mar 2003 02:18:00 -0800

GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com> wrote in:
> MOTAR the imperious wrote:
> >MOTAR has spoken.
> >MOTAR the imperious
> MOTAR has much in common with Kubla Khan. Is MOTAR related to him perchance?

It wasn't by chance. It was straight out sex. Khan hopped into the potato sack and history was born.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Black Listed
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Sun, 02 Mar 2003 01:18:06 +1100

As black as the ace of spades
Blacker than a witch's armpit
Black and blue all over
Black Death
Black Russian
Black eyed peas
Blackadder
Blackman Turner Overdrive
Blachmaninov...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Green frothy goodness (URL time)
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Mon, 3 Mar 2003 17:18:40 +0000

Misty Devine <mdevine3.uwo.ca> writes
>Am I just getting old, or is there something HORRIBLY wrong when a Mcdonalds employee stares at me stupidly and says "Sham-rock.... Shake????"

It's probably just me and my hideously advanced age (in both dog-years and net-years), but reading "sham-rock....shake" instantly conjured up images of Macdonalds perverting the youth of today with ersatz glam-rockers. Like Spade performing "Weer all Hazee Now", and P Rex with "Ride a White Duck". Not forgetting "Rock and Roll Assisted Euthanasia", from Piggy Starbucks and the Sliders from Bars.

But not even Ronald's Evil Empire would sink so low, would it?
--

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*-developing a sudden craving for a Showaddyburger--


From: Jason <jbeasley.shadowknife.com>

> Like Spade performing "Weer all Hazee Now", and P Rex with "Ride a White Duck". Not forgetting "Rock and Roll Assisted Euthanasia", from Piggy Starbucks and the Sliders from Bars.

Just the other day, I heard "Love Nibbles" by Hearing-Impaired Panther while waiting in line.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Green frothy goodness (URL time)
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2003 01:45:10 +0000 (UTC)

Misty Devine <mdevine3.uwo.ca> said:
> *not born a leprechaun, but luv the leprechaun juice*

Izzat what you get when you squeeze a leprechaun?

Oh sorry, wrong thread.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are after his lucky charms


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Great URL worksafe
From: "One_Pierced_One" <1_pierced_1.cheapcunt.net>
Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 05:28:04 GMT

"Jeffrey Kaplan" <rhod.gordol.org> wrote:
> Misty Devine said:
> Youre news client is clearly inadequate, then. Get a real newsreader, not a web browser with pretensions.

Dear Sir,

In reference to sertain coments you made about newsreader I frequintly employ to read messages posted to the WWW: I found your coments too be rood and borish and impolite and slanderious and not at all nice.

I have reported you to the managers of the internet and I expect you will soon find yourself facing liteagations.

Please refrane from doing this in the future to ashure you good standing as a member of this virtual comunity.

You too have a responsibility!

Stand by our Presedent!

God Bless America

The DMP!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Today...
From: "Viki" <vvidt.netscape.net>
Date: Tue, 04 Mar 2003 23:28:54 GMT

*I* argued before the Pennsylvania Supreme Court!!!!

Woo Hoo! I'm so glad that it's over, I was so nervous, y'all have no idea. But widdle Viki musta kicked some serious D.A. heinie cause in the elevator afterward I heard my opponent say that he'd had a rough day, and that he thought that now he'd "crash and burn on that one."

heh.

Happy Fat Tuesday, everyone.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Today...
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 10:32:12 -0700

st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
> Jeffrey Kaplan wrote:
> >Viki said:
> >; *I* argued before the Pennsylvania Supreme Court!!!!
> >May the rats perform a conga for you.
> >Hmm... I hope that doesn't mean that they've lowered the bar. Maybe I should stop now. :)
> No, that's not the Conga, you're thinking of the Limbo.

So we should be wishing her limboratulations?


Newsgroups: alt.fan.dirty-whores,alt.fan.kathy-JO,alt.music.pearl-jam,alt.music.tragically-hip,rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: hi
From: "One_Pierced_One" <1_pierced_1.cheapcunt.net>
Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 16:38:42 GMT

"JohnG" <johnmd20.NOSPAMix.netcom.com> wrote:
> Can I ask why you post simultaneously to the dirty-whore newsgroup and Pearl Jam newsgroup? I just don't see any connection between the two and am interested in how you found your way to both.

I think I can possibly help explain this a bit, it seems she's in love with Eddie Vedder and thinks he should be the President of the Galaxy if it wasn't for the Canandians and their evil cabal that is working furitively in the shadows to prevent it. For what its worth the Evil Canadian Cabal is also behind tooth decay and the commercialization of Christmas.

Or something like that. I'm not sure she's all together sane, which makes her only more appealing to me. I'm hoping she'll let me have sex with her soon. Or at least acknowledge my existence. (Does that make me sound desperate?)

However, since I have a degree in literature I can assure that her writing is tragically-hip and therefore cross-posting to the a.m.t-h group is perfectly appropriate.

I will also add that I have no idea who kathy-jo is, but that might be an appropriate cross-post to the a.f.d-w group. No offense meant to kathy-jo's fans....

As for me I'm adding r.h.o.d to this cross-post since its full of loonies and she'll fit right in. I assume you will too since you chose to waste 2 minutes of your so called life to take the time to complain rather just plonk her and you didn't even succeed in getting a good laugh out of it.

The DMP!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: My computer *looks fast* - URL Time
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2003 14:09:05 -0700

Eli the Bearded <*.eli.users.panix.com> wrote:
> Brantley Hudson <brantley_hudson.nospam.hp.com> wrote:
> > It's work/home safe
> > http://www.blingmethod.com
> Or make your computer super-portable:
> http://www.uclinux.com/hand-powered_web_server/index.html

That'll be really handy for keeping web stores up and running once the revolution comes, or those Y2K problems finally hit. You just wait, sooner or later it'll catch up with us.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Give your breath long lasting freshness...
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Sat, 8 Mar 2003 00:49:12 +0000 (UTC)

Misty Devine <mdevine3.uwo.ca> said:
> So I'm chewing Big Red today. As I was unwrapping the 3 levels of packaging surrounding a single stick of gum, I noticed a small note on the bottom of the 2nd packaging level (decorative paper sleeve).
> The note reads: "Keep foil wrapper to put gum in after use."
> This note started me thinking:
> Why do they care where I put my gum after use? Are they trying to win the hearts of janitors everywhere?

Well *duh*. 'Cuz if you've gotten your skis shined up and grabbed a stick of Juicy Fruit, the taste is gonna move ya and you'll be out in the middle of the sea and there's no trashcan there so you may as well just spit it anywhere. And presumably you're not thinking so much about the gum if you're about to do the single most favorite double in the world. But you can only kiss a little longer, and then the gum gets just as bland as any other, and then you're just standing there while your honey runs after her bus.

> Well my gum is losing its flavour now. Does your breath ever feel 'not so fresh'?

/me rinses Misty's mouth out with vinegar.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies need more french fries


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Give your breath long lasting freshness...
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Wed, 12 Mar 2003 00:03:39 +0000 (UTC)

Rick Dickinson <rtd.notesguy.com> said:
> Misty Devine <mdevine3.uwo.ca> is alleged to have written:
>>Well my gum is losing its flavour now.
>
> But....
>
> Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight?
> If your mother says don't chew it, do you swallow it in spite?
> Do you park it on your tonsils?
> Do you heave it left and right?
> Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedbost overnight?
>
> If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

Fog. This was demonstrated by Gonzo in the opening of the _Muppet_Show_ episode I just watched.

> - Rick "Boom boom" Dickinson

No, I do *not* want to go back to your room, Rick.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies would feel even less right


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hippy happy birthday
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Sat, 8 Mar 2003 09:16:32 +0000

Hetta <spamtrap.hetta.spamcop.net> writes
>Wheee! Hetta turns x0 today... she's got an extremely expensive (like, ack gack grurk!) bottle of red wine on ice, which she'll open in the afternoon.

Y'know, Het, when bees turn x0 they become drones. Kafkaesque metamorphoses aside, have a very nice time.

>Hetta (oh and congrats to TA, too, who possibly has a birthday today or tomorrow)

Possibly as in, unless he wasn't so much born as synthesised in a vat?

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*----who turned (x+1)0 last year and now buzzes a lot---


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hippy happy birthday
From: google.unitedheroes.net (TechnoAtheist)
Date: 9 Mar 2003 17:17:52 -0800

Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> Y'know, Het, when bees turn x0 they become drones. Kafkaesque metamorphoses aside, have a very nice time.

I thought they became krones. In which case they're worth even more.

I'd also like to note that things have become significantly easier for me once I started announcing my age in hexidecimal. Although I'm not really looking forward to turning 28 next year.

> >Hetta (oh and congrats to TA, too, who possibly has a birthday today or tomorrow)
> Possibly as in, unless he wasn't so much born as synthesised in a vat?

I wasn't so much born as just showed up for dinner one day. I'd note that my mother seems to disagree with that view, but I hold that she was merely dillusional from undergoing severe distress, possibly due to the fact that the poor woman was in the hospital around that time. Oddly, I don't have many memories of the time, myself, but this is probably due to the fact that I was young and forgot to keep good notes.


Happy Birthday Hetta.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hippy happy birthday
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Tue, 11 Mar 2003 17:19:26 +0000

R & H Fitzpatrick <fitzmor.webone.com.au> writes
>Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>> Y'know, Het, when bees turn x0 they become drones.
>Nah. If bee sex-chromosomes are anything like human ones, then the x0 ones are the haploid female workers - their equivalent of Turner's Syndrome as it >were. The drones, like us, have the xy chromosome pair. Unlike us, they

Hence the bee example. IIRmyBSczoologyC, the diploid female/haploid male arrangement was used to explain eusociality. (Hey, who says I can't bore down rhod with the best of 'em?)

'Course, this doesn't explain naked molerats, but then, not much does. Oedipus complex, perhaps.

>> Possibly as in, unless he wasn't so much born as synthesised in a vat?
>He's an extremely well-crafted homebrew, so I'd suggest in a primary fermenter rather than in just a common vat.

We like our company cultured here.

>Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti is the incorrect product of "six times nine" for a few more months yet.

Had it been the product of 69, that *would* have been impressive.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*--most of whose writings are the product of Vat69--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hippy happy birthday
From: Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never_Read.email.com>
Date: Sat, 08 Mar 2003 16:40:14 GMT

Also Sprach God Rudy:
> Expensive red wine on ice? Brrrrrrrrr
> I was under the impression that red wine suposed to be served at room temperature!

We're talking Finland in March. By putting the wine on ice Hetta is merely warming it up to room temperature.

Habbaththdfy. :-)


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Hello, government spies 8)
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Sun, 09 Mar 2003 20:29:04 +1100

Nuclear fission, bombs, secret code, al Samoud, R-400 stockpile, troop redeployment, North Korea, strategic command systems, WOMD, Security Council, missiles, beards, mobile biological agent factories, plutonium, falafel rolls, duct tape, CIA infiltrators, uranium enrichment facility, D-Day, launch pad, VX, fromage, Daisy Cutter, night vision goggles, world domination, collateral damage, CNN, caves, Level 5 Contaminant, Trojan Camel Scheme, secret Swiss bank accounts, black helicopters...

Hmmm - that's funny - a knock on the door at *this* time of night...?


From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com>

>Hmmm - that's funny - a knock on the door at *this* time of night...?

Careful, that unmarked black helicopter will come for you if you keep that up, particularly if, at the same time, you mention stinger missiles, GW is a fink and so is Johnnie, Islam is good, white powder and white garden fertiliser, please photograph Parliament House, I got the atomic powered tuba past customs...

So please stop it or we'll all be in trouble.

--
GW De Lacey
Whose liver and white English springer spaniel is rather good at dressing up as a cactus and talking to her coat.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hello, government spies 8)
From: Rick Dickinson <rtd.notesguy.com>
Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 08:28:59 GMT

TimC <tconnors.no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> wrote:

The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off the float
I tried to scream "duck" but it stuck in my throat
She hit the ground and did a flip, it was real acrobatic
But I was crying so hard I couldn't work my instamatic
I ran down to Debbie, I had to find out
What made her do it, why'd she freak out
I saw the bullet had got her right in the ear
I knew then the end was near

So I ran down and I said, in her good ear, "Debbie, why'd you do it?"
She raised her head, smiled, and said "I - I did it for Johnny."

>Johnnie? Like, who's Johnnie? Answer me, Debby, who's Johnnie?

Does anybody here know Johnny? Are you Johnny? There was one guy named Johnny but he was a total geek, he always had food in his braces. Answer me, Debbie, who's Johnny? Oh God this is like that movie Citizen Kane you know where later you find out Rosebud was a sled? But we'll never know who Johnny was, because, like, she's dead.

- Rick "Never went to Homecoming, myself" Dickinson


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hello, government spies 8)
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 11:07:12 +0000 (UTC)

SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au> said:
> GW De Lacey wrote:
>> Rick Dickinson wrote:
>> >The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off the float
>> >I tried to scream "duck" but it stuck in my throat
[snip]
>> Sometimes, the whooshes here take on a sound not unlike that of Cyclone Agnes II when she took out Gumlu, Guthalungra, and Bobawaba way back then.
>> --
>> GW DE Lacey
>> Whose liver and white English springer wonders what the fsck everyone is talking about, but is afraid to ask.
> Julie Brown - Trapped in the Body of a White Girl (1987) - a song called "The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun", though personally I'm pretty fond of "I Like 'em Big And Stupid"

Holy crap...I'ven't thought of that (latter) song since I heard it at camp in '87 or '88. Ah memories. SaraM, I hereby take back all the nasty things I said about you, and first thing tomorrow I will go erase the graffiti I wrote in the men's room.

Oh, wait a minute. I think that was the same summer I spent the entire session flirting sith some girl and never got up the courage to kiss her. I had almost forgotten about that. Well thanks a *lot*. Well, I guess I won't be needing these cleaning supplies...

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies sure can drive *beep*beep*


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hello, government spies 8)
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 17:03:01 +0000

Daniel E. Macks <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu> writes
>Oh, wait a minute. I think that was the same summer I spent the entire session flirting sith some girl and never got up the courage to kiss

Flirting sith - now there's an image I will not soon be able to expunge from my mind.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----*---*---*-----*----*--"Wanna see my <wheeze> light sabre?"--


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hello, government spies 8)
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2003 02:50:54 +0000 (UTC)

Screwtape <st.ferd2.thristian.org> said:
> Mike Fleming wrote:
>>SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au> writes:
>>> fromage
>>Cheese is a Weapon of Mass Destruction?
> Not nearly as dangerous as frottage.

Ya mean when the Mafia talks about "rubbing somebody out"?

dan, wose bright red Siamese fighting fishies ride the rush-hour subways


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hello, government spies 8)
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 21:56:35 +1100

One_Pierced_One wrote:
> "SaraM" <egk.speedlink.com.au> wrote:
> > Trojan Camel Scheme
> OK, we get a bunch of really LARGE condoms, I mean ones big enough to fit a dromedary, and then....

...we hump it...?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Hello, government spies 8)
From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>
Date: Fri, 14 Mar 2003 02:03:13 +1100

"Daniel E. Macks" wrote:
> SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au> said:
> > ...we hump it...?
> Shame it's not a bactrian, then.
> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies like like to hump with a friend

Down here, most people tend to just use their genitals.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Cartoon: 'Ecology'
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 03:03:25 +0000 (UTC)

Phil Smith <pas51.NOSPAMcam.ac.uk> said:
> Paul McCue wrote:
>> <sc.pffcu.com> wrote:
>> >jean <jean.maxfree.net> wrote:
>> > > Cartoon: 'Ecology'
>> > Charcoal Sketch: 'Anthropology'
>> Bronze Cast: 'Ancient Medical Practice'
> Watercolour: 'Sociology'

Oil: "Controlling the seal population"

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies go down with the ship


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Cartoon: 'Ecology'
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.mail.sas.upenn.edu>
Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 08:31:21 +0000 (UTC)

SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au> said:
> "Daniel E. Macks" wrote:
>> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies go down with the ship
> You don't want to do that - they're full of... umm...

<mode="innocence">sailors?</>

> No - on second thoughts, forget I said anything...

Okay. I'll just sit here and tend my lighthouse.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies always wondered why he had that spiral staircase installed


From: SaraM <egk.speedlink.com.au>

> Okay. I'll just sit here and tend my lighthouse.

"Yes, your honour, which explains why he was flashing at the sailors..."


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Some things are never true
From: sc.pffcu.com
Date: 14 Mar 2003 21:02:10 GMT

"Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?" I was in the primate house in the Philadelphia Zoo recently and I was thinking how good it was that this does not apply to orang-u-tans.



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