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2003 09 B.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Nettiquette of not top posting (was: Re: The attack of the Normans?)
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Tue, 16 Sep 2003 10:14:15 -0600

st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
> 'Richard Fitzpatrick' wrote:
> >If you want to play by local playground rules, rhod will be more funthan you could imagine.
> ></pollyanna>
> Don't you mean </obi-wan> ?

"Ben" was his real name; "Obi-Wan" is what the Jedi knew him as.
"Polyanna" was only used by very special friends during, um, fancy-dress parties, if you know what I mean...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Nettiquette of not top posting (was: Re: The attack of the Normans?)
From: cleopatra_the_seventh.yahoo.com (Cleopatra VII)
Date: 17 Sep 2003 09:48:53 -0700

Hetta uttered the magic words:
> Donald Welsh wrote:
> > Henriette Kress wrote:
> >> You mean you haven't killfiled him yet? You have the patience of a mountain, m'sieur.
> > I killfiled someone once. Many years later, I met him.
> Ooooh. Undead!

Moral of the story: always carry a baseball bat. You never know when it might come in handy.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Nettiquette of not top posting (was: Re: The attack of the Normans?)
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 15:50:36 -0600

"Daniel Parker" <dmparker.dmparker.com> wrote:
> "Henriette Kress" <spamtrap.hetta.spamcop.net> wrote:
> > Ooooh. Undead!
> Remember, on the internet no one knows you're a zombie.

As long as you manage to refrain from typing "Brains... BRAINS..."


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Nettiquette of not top posting (was: Re: The attack of the Normans?)
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 20:51:02 -0000

MikeyD <m_donaghy50.hotmail.com> said:
> "Lane Gray, Czar Castic" <CGray2.kc.rr.Pb.com> wrote
>> The only thing worse than top-posting is the people who trim *everything*, submitting only their responses. Context is nice.
> But how much worse is the guy who posts 3 pages of quote with a "I agree" at the bottom? As a low(ish) bandwidth user I find this the worst thing on Usenet.

It's not as bad as people who post in ROT13 while not wearing any pants and then post pictures of themselves doing so.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wonder who's up to the challenge


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Nettiquette of not top posting (was: Re: The attack of the Normans?)
From: David Robley <robleyd[spam].ozemail.com.au>
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2003 13:11:13 GMT

dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au says...
> Daniel E. Macks wrote:
> > It's not as bad as people who post in ROT13 while not wearing any pants and then post pictures of themselves doing so.
> > dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wonder who's up to the challenge
> Don't tempt me.

It's twice as bad when they use ROT26


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Nettiquette of not top posting (was: Re: The attack of the Normans?)
From: Ben Fisher <benlf.no.spam.yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, 27 Sep 2003 04:29:31 GMT

Rhodnius <erik.SPAMFILTER-dos486.com> wrote:
> Ben Fisher <benlf.no.spam.yahoo.com> wrote:
> >--
> >Unemployed. You'd think I'd have more time on my hands.
> Can you speak for Intel now, then?

Even less than previously. However, I can speak *about* Intel without fear of near-term retribution. And, as the crop of idiots I was working for are too dumb to google for me, there probably aren't any long term consequences, either. Fscking morons, the lot.

Of course, the smart people at Intel know I'm not talking about them.

Oh. And the stock is going nowhere but up. Trust me.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Wasted and Wounded
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 02:25:54 -0000

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> said:
> "Daniel Parker" <dmparker.dmparker.com> wrote:
>> Gnutella was the same way, it was posted and pulled down within a few hours, but that few hours was all that was needed for peer-to-peer file sharing to take off. Since waste is encrypted it offers security from the prying eyes of not only the government but the RIAA as well.
> Well... assuming complete control over who's allowed to share with you, it is.
>> Cause you know what? Fuck the RIAA.
> I hear they're lousy in the sack.

Yeah...they start screwing you but won't let you get off.
And they even fucked a 12-year-old girl and her own mother at the same time!

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies would've done the mother first


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Wasted and Wounded
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 17:57:22 -0000

Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org> said:
> Daniel E. Macks said:
> ; I assume you saw "classified ad" in RHF this evening? <rec.humor.funny>
> I stopped reading RHF months ago. It seemed like everything was either $NOT_FUNNY or $OLD_JOKE.

Shouldn't those be either constants or enums instead of variables?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies know a thing or two about a precompiler token


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Wlel, so mcuh for dleixsya.
From: Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org>
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 13:25:56 -0400

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy

From: "Daniel Parker" <dmparker.dmparker.com>
I rot13'd this twice and still couldn't read it.

From: "Rob" <phstpok.cold-hot-warm-tepid-mail.com>
and how many monkeys did that take?

From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Except that context is obviously important too. If I simply write "raed," you would not know if it meant "read" or "dear." To know it is "read" you have to understand the rest of the sentence or know that the first and last letters are always correct.

Also, you misspelled "iprmoatnt."


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Wlel, so mcuh for dleixsya.
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 02:53:00 GMT

Che Gannarelli <che_dot_gannarelli.ucl.ac.uk> wrote:
> > If I simply write "raed," you would not know if it meant "read" or "dear."
> Umm, except that you've swapped the first and last letters in one of those...

The *point*, and I do have one, is that the brain looks at the mangled letters and tries to make sense of it. It does not subconsciously to itself, "Brain, this is a jumbled word, but remember that the first and last letters are correct, so all you have to do is rearrange the others and in almost every case there will be only one possible real word it can be." That is a conscious thought and convention that your mind is applying. The original article was pointing out the interesting observation that we read symbols not words, and that errors in the words are not fatal to the process of understanding the symbol. I suppose the Chinese have known this for a little while now.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Wlel, so mcuh for dleixsya.
From: Eli the Bearded <*.eli.users.panix.com>
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 20:53:40 +0000 (UTC)

Ian Davis <not.all.certain> wrote:
> Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org> wrote:
>> Raed it aaign. It siflplaicecy syas taht the frsit and lsat ltetres are in the crorcet pacle for tihs to wrok.
> Suppose I had posted the following:
> What is this word?
> "siflplaicecy"
> You would have taken a long time to work it out, if ever.

Very poor example. It is right there in the sentence above AND it is the only common one word arrangement of those letters.

Try this one:

fgeratguf

Elijah
------
feeling evil


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Wlel, so mcuh for dleixsya.
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: 19 Sep 2003 21:00:42 GMT

Eli the Bearded wrote:
> Try this one:
> fgeratguf

Strengths

Dammit!

-- Al, oh, wait...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Wlel, so mcuh for dleixsya.
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 01:06:59 +1000

'Al Sharka' wrote:
>[2] Hmmm, vagina is internally alphabetized.

That's what *she* said!

Screwtape,
...well, she *might* have.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Wlel, so mcuh for dleixsya.
From: David Scully <dbscully.hotmail.com>
Date: Mon, 22 Sep 2003 14:01:43 +0100

Sid wrote:
> Chris Wesling <wesling.nospam.invalid> writes:
> > David Scully wrote:
> > > Al Sharka wrote:
> > > > saadeeiilpqsun vabegire.
> > > Is it a good or a bad sign if I didn't stumble at all, even over this? Could it have anything to do with my slight drunkenness?
> > Those were the only two I couldn't get. Mind providing a translation?
> Sesquipedalian Verbiage

Yep. It's a phrase I've been known to use, which is probably why I got it so fast. Not that I'd ever have a tendency to be wordy, verbose or prolix, or indeed to use more words than are strictly necessary, of course.

> Sid, anagram servers are your friends

Especially when they tell you your name anagrams to "cuddly vials".


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Wlel, so mcuh for dleixsya.
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 17:43:32 +1000

'Richard Fitzpatrick' wrote:
>Scone Jessy Vet wrote...
>> And Cuddly Vials wrote:
>> > Had Rad Hits wrote:
>> >> Sid, anagram servers are your friends
>> > Especially when they tell you your name anagrams to "cuddly vials".
>> And thus is a nickname born.
>> But if you call me "seven coy jests," I'll have to take your arm off.
>What would you do for the other six?
>Acrid Kraft Ritz Chip.

Our highschool science teacher discovered such an internet anagram server once ("I, Rearrangement Servant") and brought us each an anagram of our very own.

Toilet Hymnal,
...whose friend, Roomy Snail, was rather more impressed.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Wlel, so mcuh for dleixsya.
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: 22 Sep 2003 15:04:37 GMT

Tom Harrington wrote:
> Sid wrote:
>> Sesquipedalian Verbiage
> Mind providing a translation INTO ENGLISH?

Literally "six foot long words". I've always found it amusing that the word sesquipedalian is itself sesquipedalian.

-- Al, easily amused.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: An article all about us
From: Dave Hinz <davehinz.spamcop.net>
Date: 18 Sep 2003 16:18:12 GMT

Screwtape <st.ferd2.thristian.org> wrote:
> No, really - I have incredibly bad memory, sometimes. On one memorable occasion I spent a week with the word 'Kilimanjaro' bouncing around in my head before I figured out what context it belonged to

It's a filesystem, duh.

Dave "You know...mount kilimanjaro..." Hinz


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: An article all about us
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: 19 Sep 2003 11:37:55 GMT

David Tate wrote:
> But there are more good-to-excellent American beers today than I have time or capacity to sample.

Blash(hic)phemy!


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Cerebrations (and Ruminations)
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2003 21:05:15 +0100

Reading me _New Scientist_ the other day, I learnt that it's now generally agreed that there are 5 basic dimensions to human personality (extroversion, neuroticism, agreeableness, conscientiousness and openness to new experiences), all of which have a strong genetic component. Also, the last of the 5 is linked to the long form of the DRD4 gene, which is thought to have evolved 40,000 years ago. Before this, our ancestors sat around the encampment muttering, "Ooh, I don't like the sound of this newfangled fire stuff. A bit radical, if you ask me..."

It brought to mind Eddie Izzard's musings on the men who hang around near Piccadilly Circus tube station, shouting at passing women, "Oi, darlin'! How about it, eh? You an' me? Fwoahr, wha-hey! Big 'uns!" Professor Izzard noted that these men always occurred in groups of 5, and concluded that this was because they possessed 1/5th of a personality each. So now it appears that, prior to 40,000 years ago, *all* our ancestors only possessed 4/5th of a personality each.

Going back further in time, the human psyche must have been more impoverished still. Australopithecus afarensis males spent their time hanging around the baobab tree in groups of 5, shouting at passing Lucys, "Oi, darlin'! How about it, eh? You an' me? Fwoahr, wha-hey! Bipedalism!"

There are times when, like the Rev Samuel Wilberforce, one would prefer to have been descended from the angels.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*----*-----*-richard.molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*----But that doesn't mean I'd like you to call me "Soapy Dick"--

From: Ben Fisher <benlf.yahoo.com>
Call yer soapy dick what?

From: Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au>
Call it a taxi so it can go home.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au>
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 11:07:28 +1000

Daniel Parker wrote:
> "Kegs" <me.privacy.net> wrote:
>> [1] The other one is King Crimson, who I have seen[2]
> d00d you must be like totally 01d
>> [2] No, I'm only 26 ;)
> Oh, so much for that theory...

Don't trust anyone over twenty...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: Ian Davis <not.all.certain>
Date: Sun, 21 Sep 2003 21:40:13 GMT

Kegs <me.privacy.net> wrote:
> They'll be playing Close to the Edge then? ;)

They didn't, nor did they play "Yours is no Disgrace" or "Owner of a lonely heart," both somewhat surprising omissions except that they've not been on the list for most of this particular tour. But ah, what they did play in that two and a half hours....

Jon Anderson, whose voice can still touch heights and hearts.
Steve Howe, one of the world's most brilliant guitarists, roadie-from-hell notwithstanding.
Chris Squire, absolutely unique and without question the world's best bass guitarist.
Rick Wakeman, somehow playing 11 keyboards at once and easily replacing an entire orchestra.
Alan White, playing at least three separate rhythms simultaneously and giving the lie to the old joke [1].

Sid, if you don't go, you will never know what you have missed. I waited 30 years for this concert. I hope they return a bit sooner - Rick Wakeman still owes us a joke.

Ian.

[1] Here's the old joke disproved by Alan White, which I post risking grievous bodily harm from my mum:
What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A drummer.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com>
Date: Mon, 22 Sep 2003 21:20:37 +1200

TimC wrote:
>Ian Davis wrote:
>> What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians?
>> A drummer.
>How can you tell a stage is crooked?
>The drool is only running out of one side of the drummers mouth

For shame...
Everyone's always picking on drummers. Even though it's true that there is no difference between a drummer and a drum machine(1), please remember that drummers are people too.

Trombone players, on the other hand...

A trombone player left his trombone on the back seat of his car when he went into the shop. When he got back he found his car had been broken into. He looked into the back and found...

Two trombones!

The bastards!

--
GW De Lacey

1. You have to punch the information into both of them.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 05:51:29 -0000

Ian Davis <not.all.certain> said:
> GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com> wrote:
>> Trombone players, on the other hand...
> Possibly true for many, but I recently heard the New Melbourne Jazz Band and their trombone player did an entire song one handed, ie not using the slide at all (yes, there was more than one note). I didn't even know it was possible to do that.

Isn't that the whole idea of a traditional bugle? Or Shofar?

It's a little-known fact, but the real reason behind not eating or drinking on Yom Kippur has nothing to do with repentance or Biblical commandments. The Mexican rabbis just couldn't deal with congregants boozing it up during services and handing him a margarita every time he called for Tekiah.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies don't believe that that story is completely correct, but at least it is Teruah-nuf


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com>
Date: Thu, 25 Sep 2003 22:01:40 +1200

Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>So the lowest two resonant frequencies are exactly an octave apart (by definition), while just a few harmonics higher one has 7 resonant frequencies within a single musical octave.

That sums it up nicely.

The problem with the upper harmonics is that they suffer badly from design aspects of the horn. Without going into huge detail, the theoretical location of the resonant nodes is influenced by the inescapable fact that the 'pipes' used to produce the notes cannot be true cylinders or cones. Thus the nodes shift to comfortable locations depending on the frequency of the harmonic in question, causing the note to be out of tune to varying degrees.

Thus, in the case of most brass instruments, only the lower harmonics (excluding the fundamental) are harnessed to produce the notes of the scale. In order to fill in the gaps, multiple tube lengths are used, each one connected to the main tube through a valve operated by the player. Three valves are sufficient, and the combinations thus possible allow the player to choose any note within an acceptable range, with a reasonable degree of confidence that the note will be in tune.

Exceptional players can play outside the normal range and still be in tune, but mere mortals seldom venture above Bb (concert) above the stave.

There is a lot of other stuff related to tuning, but that's the essence of the way it goes.

>> Gets pretty hard to find the *right* notes, though...
>Hence the reason everyone makes fun of 'bones. Woodwinds aren't immune to tuning problems though (but for different reasons). Just consider the "train's-a'comin'" flute effect

Heh, aint that the truth.

I once attended a recital by the Russian Ballet. They announced at interval that the next segment would be a performance of Khatchaturian's Sparticus (think Onedin Line). We wondered about the wisdom having the flautist come in cold on that murderous opening high note.

Sure enough, he cracked the note.

We swear to this day that a pistol shot was heard in the orchestra pit.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: 28 Sep 2003 21:34:45 GMT

Kegs wrote:
> Jeffrey Kaplan writes:
>> Chris Wesling said:
>> ;You know, I *thought* I remembered occasionally being able to loosen my lips
>> Careful... you can sink ships that way.
> I always wondered how they managed that, any ideas?

You blow them up, obviously.

-- Al, who burned his lips on the tailpipe of a school bus once.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2003 14:52:50 -0000

Chris Wesling <wesling.nospam.invalid> said:
> GW De Lacey wrote:
>> Tom Harrington wrote:
>> > Chris Wesling <wesling.nospam.invalid> wrote:
>> >> "Daniel E. Macks" wrote:
>> >> > Chris Wesling <wesling.nospam.invalid> said:
>> >> > > Gets pretty hard to find the *right* notes, though...
>> >> > Hence the reason everyone makes fun of 'bones.
>> >> Well, it's not *that* hard if you are consistent about your hand positions and have a decent ear. But not all musicians are *good* musicians, and a bad trombonist is easier to notice.
>> >A bad Theremin player is even easier, 'cause the hand positions are even harder to get right. :-)
>> And don't get me started on bad English church serpent players...
> Say what? That sounds vaguely pornographic...
> ("Want to play with my English church serpent, little girl?" said the Anglican priest.)

"I don't hear the bell ringing, Father."

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies see all the people coming for whoreship


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au>
Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2003 14:32:45 +1000

Daniel E. Macks wrote:
> Chris Wesling <wesling.nospam.invalid> said:
>> it's been a loooong time since I last played trombone. (Twenty-five years, in fact.) As GW points out in his reply, though, it's not very useful to play that note because (a) it sounds bad,
> Since when has *that* bothered them?

What, so you know a child is destined to be a trombone player when the kindergarten report card reads, "Does not play well with others"?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 10:02:08 -0000

GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com> said:
> Ian Davis wrote:
>>> >Ian Davis wrote:
>>> >> What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians?
>>> >> A drummer.
>>FOR THE RECORD, this is not my point of view, I was quoting an old joke!
> Of course, that's what they all say. They are sincere about it too...
> ...for a while.
> Before you know it though, they relapse back to form. Then they start with the drummer jokes, like the one about the drummer who broke up with his girlfriend, and wound up homeless.
> It's disgusting. Why don't they pick on more deserving stereotypes, like the trombone player who was walking down the road with his friend the frog and a car ran over both of them resulting in one of them being late for the gig.

Now I *know* you're making stuff up--a trombone wouldn't be allowed to play in a gig because that would require him to be in tune with at least one other person or instrument. Ever. It's kinda like a violin, except doesn't burn as well.

dan, whose bight red Siamese fighting fishies are off to tuna fish


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: "Rob" <phstpok.cold-hot-warm-tepid-mail.com>
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 13:46:16 +1200

"Ian Davis" <not.all.certain> wrote
> ossipewsk.hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick) wrote:
> > Your mum was a drummer?
> I am living proof of her sense of rhythm.

Ah, lousy then.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Close to the edge
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 02:10:25 -0000

Rob <phstpok.cold-hot-warm-tepid-mail.com> said:
> "Ian Davis" <not.all.certain> wrote
>> ossipewsk.hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick) wrote:
>> > Your mum was a drummer?
>> I am living proof of her sense of rhythm.
> Ah, lousy then.

Gah dam, that's twice today I've been beaten to obvious jokes.

Must work less, RHOD more.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies don't think he *could* work less


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: OT: Advice
From: steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 15:05:40 GMT

Sid wrote:
> I need some advice.

Head thee to news.admin.net-abuse.email. They are very knowledgeable there, and can help you with the specifics.

> Of late, (the past 3-4 days), someone has been using a non-existant account on my domain (nerte dot net) as a From address to send spam to others. The way I got to know this was by getting Undelivered/bounced mail. I get about 400 of these every day.
> The options I have right now to stop this spam from getting to me are:
> a) Setting up a filter which deletes these mails (the From id is standard) OR
> b) Configuring my server to only accept mails from an exclusive list.

Which is all fine and good (in fact, if at all possible, you want to filter on the server-side to dump them all into /dev/null, so the mail server doesn't have to touch it at all, much less your client), but that doesn't actually solve the problem.

> But, I want to do a bit more than this. I want to know what possible actions I can take to a) Trace this person(s). The attached returned mail has proved largely unhelpful in this regard.

Does the bounce attach the whole spam, or only in part? Usually spam is used -- albeit poorly -- as a method of getting money from suckers. As such, there should be a URL, if not an email address, that you should be able to follow to an ISP.

If there's nothing of that sort, then read up on the RFCs having to do with email headers: http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc2076.txt . That should help you to track the spammer down.

> b) If I do manage to do a), what action can I take next?

Nuke from orbit -- it's the only way to be sure you don't leave trace evidence.

I would suggest talking to their ISP, but, sadly, that's probably going to be pointless. Chances are good that the ISP doesn't give a whit about what one of their customers does to both sully your domain and defile the internet. When this happened to me^H^Ha friend of mine, they actually had the gall to say something along the order of "Why are you promoting someone else's web site?"

> Sid, yes, I have asked TIO

Great; so now not only do you still have the problem, but now you owe him thirty-six buckets of chicken fingers.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Damn You, MicroSquick!!!!! (was Re: Spam sux)
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 20:30:01 -0000

Dan Glick <news.danielglick.com> said:
> Okay, just for the record, I'm immune to the virii as well. Not because I don't run Windows, but because I have a brain. I keep my computer patched through Windows Update, and I'm not about to open a "patch" sent from mqhokzx-zwgtar.support.com

Okay, so we, an all-Mac shop, just got a Windows 2K machine (to drive a lab instrument). Connected to the network, immediately installed all MS updates (the real ones, not the ones in email:) and Norton AV with the latest virus defs, unplugged the ethernet. Ran NAV, which found that in that period of time I had already been infected by Welchia. I should point out that our building firewall prohibits *all* incoming connections, and internal machines are provided with NAV/etc. for free (and a service guy will even come and do it for you). And our mailserver drops known-evil attachments and won't let you click to open but instead forces you to download first during which time a dialog appears warning that attachments may contain Bad Things.

I HATE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ABOUT MICROSOFT!!!! DIE, YOU MALICIOUS, ILL-CONCEIVED, JACKASS-PROGRAMMED PIECE OF SHIT, DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to read about WINE


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spam sux
From: Jellyroll Papadopoulos <jellyroll.the.pope.INVALIDpotnoodle.net>
Date: Sat, 20 Sep 2003 22:20:32 GMT

Jellyroll Papadopoulos:
> My former jellyroll.papadopoulos "Reply-To" address (unique to rhod) has also been hammered, so I'm retiring it. It's interesting - this worm seems to be the first to gain a foothold in the wild that understands what a "Reply-To" address is.

It took less than an hour before the new address became targeted also, so I'm putting it out to pasture too.

I now have a new .sig. I'm not happy about it.

I'm going to bed.

While I'm there why don't some of you cock-biting fucktard lurkers get some anti-virus software, install it, keep it up to date, patch your systems, stop opening e-mail attachments you weren't expecting, and most important of all stop using Micky$lop Shitware to read this froup? Or just unplug your PCs and fuck off. Or die. Or all fourteen. You'd make a lot of people very happy.

--
Jellyroll Papadopoulos

Mail may be sent to jellyroll<dot>the<dot>pope<at>potnoodle<dot>net
I never thought I'd have to do that. Fuck you, Microsoft.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spam sux
From: Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au>
Date: Sun, 21 Sep 2003 10:49:03 +1000

Tom Harrington wrote:
> In another newsgroup someone posted that their university had responded to the threat of MS-targeted email viruses by _requiring_ the use of Outlook by everyone, going so far as to disable POP and IMAP, and thus blocking all email clients except the one that's actually vulnerable. I can only guess they've just given up all hope and are spending their time literally begging virus writers to destroy them.

Bummer of a birthmark, HAL.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spam sux
From: Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au>
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 12:42:09 +1000

Henriette Kress wrote:
> Screwtape wrote:
>>> Bummer of a birthmark, HAL.
>> So.. how *does* one submit things to BoRHOD?
> One bribes me. Currently I accept large sums of money, good books, chocolate - and a new Jaguar would be quite nice, too.

Don't listen to her, Screwtape. Hetta is honest and uncorruptible; after all, it's her finely honed sense of humor and discerning taste that makes BoRHOD the quality experience it is. Just keep posting to RHOD; Hetta is far above being bribed.


Hetta, did you get the chocolate yet?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spam sux
From: "Lane Gray, Czar Castic" <CGray2.kc.rr.com>
Date: Sun, 21 Sep 2003 17:19:14 GMT

Jeffrey Kaplan wrote:
> Rhodnius said:
> ; problem here - both with Sobig and the new virus - not in and of themselves Outlook Express and Outlook. Both viruses are just executable files, and any Windows email client can run them. They don't spread automatically, nor do they really take advantages of holes in the mail
> Unless things have changed, they can and do. OE and O understand ActiveX, VBScript, Java and Javascript. And, at least used to, default to running them without notice, warning or confirmation.
> Ever notice that these virii emails are sent in an HTML message?

Which is one thing that they did right in later versions of OE, you can actually tell it to "read all messages in plain text" Sorta makes it a pain in the neck when one's done with rhod and other useful froups, and wants to move on to the more stimulating stuff in alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.australian.drop-bears, but it's not hard to change back to see the pictures.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spam sux
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Mon, 22 Sep 2003 21:01:57 -0600

"Viki" <vvidt.netscape.net> wrote:
> "Tom Harrington" <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> wrote:
> : In another newsgroup someone posted that their university had responded to the threat of MS-targeted email viruses by _requiring_ the use of Outlook by everyone, going so far as to disable POP and IMAP, and thus blocking all email clients except the one that's actually vulnerable. I can only guess they've just given up all hope and are spending their time literally begging virus writers to destroy them.
> This is what the county does, where I work. We are now prohibited and blocked from accessing any email type other than the Outlook provided by them.
> Are you saying this is bad?

Let's see if I can relate it to someone who works with criminals. :-)

Imagine that the best-selling door lock in the world turned out to be, well, less than secure. In fact a chimp with a butter knife could pick it in under a minute. Once this knowledge got out, the number of burglaries skyrocketed.

Other locks are available. They work differently and have funny-shaped keys. They're a lot more secure. Nothing's perfect, but you'd do pretty well with one of these.

Your county just decreed the use of the crappy locks on all of their buildings. It's easier for them that way. Plus they get volume pricing from the manufacturer.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spam sux
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2003 19:15:28 -0000

Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com> said:
> David Robley wrote:
>> asharka says...
>>> I need something to present at jbex to try and convince people to STOP SENDING EMAIL IN EFFING HTML FORMAT!!!!
>> http://www.glock.com/home.htm
> Well... That would certainly be effective. I certainly wouldn't have to worry about jbex conflicts ever again. I was rather hoping for something I could use to change their minds by appealing to their logical reasoning abilities...

That might do that. Consider how supremely logical is the thought "He's carrying a big fucking gun. If I saw or do something stupid, he will splatter my brains on the cubicle wall. Therefore I will shut the hell up, turn off my computer, and sit on my hands."

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies go off half-glocked


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spam sux
From: Richard Wilson <richard.molerat.demon.co.uk>
Date: Sun, 21 Sep 2003 11:32:46 +0100

Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org> writes
>Due to the volume and sizes involved, I don't want to even download them. And also due to the volume and sizes, I don't want to wait for a client side app to connect and clear them, which opens up timing conflicts with my scheduled mail runs. I want to prevent them from landing in my mailbox in the first place.

Sadly, I have reached the same conclusion as Comrade Kaplan. I've had the same addy for 8 years, cheerfully displayed in my sig all the while, and it has never been a problem until two days ago. But there's just so many hundreds of 144kb emails one wants to download in a day before it starts to get a tad tedious.

Occasional antipodean correspondents take note.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*---richard killfiled, long live rwilson-
--*----*---*---*-----Still, we have freedom of speech on the Net---
--*-----*--*----*----*----*---*-*---and that's the main thing--*---


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spam sux
From: steven <spam.pieceoftheuniverse.com>
Date: Mon, 22 Sep 2003 15:03:17 GMT

Tom Harrington wrote:
> I imagine if virus appeared that caused computers to explode, killing thousands of people daily, that still the survivors would say, yeah right, like I'm going to ditch something as useful as Windows for some freaky alternative...

Anyone else have to supress a completely evil idea? Anyone? No? Just me, then? Hold on a minute, there are some very official-looking men in suits and single-earphone radios coming down the hall ...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Spam sux
From: "Viki" <vvidt.netscape.net>
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2003 03:23:55 GMT

"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> wrote
: Eli the Bearded wrote...
: > Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
: > > Daniel E. Macks said:
: > > > http://www.state.pa.us.mirror.sytes.org/papower/taxonomy/taxonomy.asp?DLN=30107
: > > CoooOOOooolll... That's just plain evil. Will they do it for everyone?
: > Haven't they done it already?
: > Stick ".mirror.sytes.org" after the domain name in your favorite URL.
: I was experimenting with that. Thanks.

sooooo, I sent dan's PA link mirror syte thingie around the office today and this guy who I used to think was intelligent told me how much he liked what I forwarded to him, but then wondered if they had fixed the site yet.

LOL

what a moron. I love this place.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Sigh
From: Sid <notme.hotmail.com>
Date: 21 Sep 2003 16:15:26 +0800

Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au> writes:
> Sid wrote:
> > Thanks GW, and everyone else here. I am getting back to normal slowly. I have found that working really hard and keeping myself busy helps a lot.
> Write a lot of angsty poetry. Not that the world needs more, but you can always burn it.

Not angsty, and something I wrote while waiting for stuff to compile at work about 3-4 months back. It needs some work, I think. Never got around to it.

Little Styrofoam cups

It's another late-nighter
I tap away at the keys
The voices echo in my head.
"We need it yesterday, please."

Next to the mind's deep languor
Softly creeps in night
My eyelids fight gravity
Every moment losing the fight

One desperate push on the chair
With the knowledge in my head
My Saviour lies but only
A couple of yards ahead

I stare into oblivion
Into this dark corridor
Gingerly steps taken
Through the mire of torpor

I see a light in the distance
It grows with every pace
And with a sudden vigour
It explodes into my face

And in this beatific light
This divine contraption looms
My Saviour, My Messiah
The dispeller of all dooms

I lean forward and touch it
A humble, reverant touch
To hold this holy manna
I need a container or such

Little white cups stacked up
Into little pillars of snow
From the darkness I pick one;
Move back into the glow

I hold out the receptacle;
Turn the knob without a word
Brown grains of gold come tumbling
A tenth, A quarter, a third!

Steaming water comes next
Like a Mighty river it plies
Irrigating the brown grains
The scents of heaven arise

I lift the cup to my lips
The first gentle, seeking kiss,
My heart leaps and takes flight
A flight of heavenly bliss

I stride back to my desk
A strong, energetic pace,
There's a glint in my eye
Satisfaction on my face

Divine potion in my hand
I am ready to fight anew
Thanks to thee, O Mighty Caffeine
I'll survive this night too


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Sigh
From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
Date: 21 Sep 2003 15:16:02 GMT

Sid wrote:
> something I wrote while waiting for stuff to compile at work about 3-4 months back.

If your compiler takes that long, beware. You might get bored and start writing about office supplies...

> It needs some work, I think.

Oops, never mind.

> Little Styrofoam cups
>
> It's another late-nighter
<snip>
> Little white cups stacked up
<snip>
> Brown grains of gold come tumbling
<snip>
> Steaming water comes next
<snip>
> Divine potion in my hand
> I am ready to fight anew
> Thanks to thee, O Mighty Caffeine
> I'll survive this night too

Y'know, Sid. They have machines faster than an 8086 now. Have you checked your compile lately?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Click
From: David Scully <dbscully.hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 15:30:17 +0100

Lord Insidious, World Dominator wrote:
> I got one of those combination locks that lets you set your own combination. I forget what I set it to. I've tried my birthda and birth year, my girlfriends birthday and birth year, all my usual four-digit numbers, and nothing. Now I'm trying a brute force attack. I'm up to 0-5-7-5.

It's obviously been h4x0red. Try 1-3-3-7.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Stamps
From: Sid <notme.hotmail.com>
Date: 24 Sep 2003 07:20:36 +0800

Eli the Bearded <*.eli.users.panix.com> writes:
> I think uttering the very word "goatse" is a caning offense in Singapore and merely oblique references to it would carry a heavy fine. You need to stick to safe topics, like a picture of the new Esplanade Theatres (with scratch&sniff durian scent).

There's a great picture of that with the Stamford in the background. If only I could find it.

> has a bottle of durian extract he would sell for the right price

Okay, I'll pay up. Can I at least choose who you sell it to?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Stamps
From: "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fitzmor.webone.NO.SPAM.com.au>
Date: Thu, 25 Sep 2003 20:10:30 +1000

Tom Harrington wrote...
> Dave Hinz :
> > Torvalds is Finnish, isn't he?
> Yeah, but you might notice that he doesn't seem to live there anymore.

Damn you, Harrington.

"Linus Don't Live There Any More"
- with apologies to Miles Gregory, Faith Evans et al (and to a multitude of Linux groupies offended by my ungeekiness).

You uninstalled me
Linus don't live there any more
Just recompile and see
Linus don't live there any more

When you GUI'd with me
There was nothing in Windows you couldn't do for me
Jacking seemed so far away
Then you compiled and went away
And you uninstalled me
Linus don't live there any more
Just recompile and see that
Linus don't live there any more

Linus don't live there any more
Just bitterness and document'ries over what Suomi was before
Why did you have to go away
A new OS with which to play
You uninstalled me
Linus don't live there any more
Just recompile and see
Linus don't live there any more
Yeah

Through Windows - so many lies
Everyone can see - loopholes in my OS there be
Redhat must know, I need Lynx so
Why did you have to go
And uninstall me
Linus don't live there any more
Just recompile and see that
Linus don't live there any more
Yeah, Linus don't live there any more
Linus don't live there any more, don't live there any more

You just del'd *.* and left me
Now Linus don't live there any more
Any more
Linus don't live there any more


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Hosophones and post-horn galops
From: GW De Lacey <georgew.dnet.aunz.com>
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2003 22:55:03 +1200

A previous thread has stirred some memory cells.

I guess it's pretty well known that if a column of air is made to vibrate inside a pipe, it will try to vibrate at a frequency that is dependent on the length of the pipe. This is the 'natural' frequency of said pipe, and it can be adjusted up or down by lengthening or shortening the pipe.

In addition to the natural(fundamental) frequency, there are a number of other frequencies (the harmonics), that can be produced from the same length of pipe. These are produced by forcing the air column to vibrate at some multiple of the natural frequency. These harmonics fall on intervals represented by notes of the natural musical scale. Not all of the notes of the scale can be produced on a single open length of tube, but there are enough to produce a large number of bugle calls and other signals. In fact, the British bugle is really nothing more than a single length of pipe coiled in a manner that makes it easy to play and carry.

A lot of music has been written for the bugle, and if you are inventive enough, there are a number of amusing instruments which you can use to play this type of music.

One that comes to mind is the 'hosophone'. This is simply a length of garden hose with a funnel attached to one end and a trombone mouthpiece stuck into the other. The 'instrument' is tuned to the orchestra by trial and error - cutting a piece off raises the pitch, and gluing it back on lowers the pitch. It is usually played as part of a comedy routine, and can be quite funny, as well as producing some surprisingly good sounds.

The venerable British Army issue Lee Enfield 303 calibre rifle has arguably killed more people in more wars over some 70 years of service than any other weapon of war, including the modern 'WMD's'. It had many attributes, most of them bad. It was heavy, difficult to clean, woefully inaccurate, prone to blockage...the list goes on. However it also had characteristic that wasn't so well known - it was an excellent concert instrument.

The barrel, for some reason, was of a length such that it's natural frequency corresponded to the A440 musical standard. All it needed was a trumpet mouthpiece placed in the barrel, and it made quite an acceptable substitute for a post horn. In fact, the 'Post Horn Galop' (one of the Strauses, I think) was often played at concerts using a '303', much to the surprise and delight of the types that attended such concerts.

Oh, and wibble...


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Big News
From: "Daniel Parker" <dmparker.dmparker.com>
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2003 17:45:54 GMT

First off, I love you guys. But I have to admit that over the last few years I've felt kinda dumb around you lot. You've all found successes, as my career hit a brick wall of an economy and I went through some difficult personal problems. I've turned 38 and moved back home with my parents (ACKKK!!!).

But finally Fortuna has smiled upon me and my wheel of fate has turned upward. I can once again face you all with pride. Pride in the successes I've achieved as an individual.

Yes, I have a new office and a new job. I'm doing computer work and diagnostics from the back of a strip club. No really, I swear it. Its called Zebras Cabaret in San Leon, TX. Its a little-bitty pissant country place, its just a dive really, reminiscent of a Tom Waits album cover.

And I don't have high speed out there yet, nor do I really have that much work in, but I do have about four clients and more coming all the time. Really if it weren't for the very cool factor of having hot young naked chicks walking through my office all day and night, it wouldn't be much of a job.

So I may not be a lawyer or a doctor or a nuclear fizzicist or whatever other fancy things you guys are....but I got naked chicks in my office--so HA!

Daniel "Always Proud To Be White Trash" Parker

--
Should I get one super model? Or two reglar sized ones?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Big News
From: Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net>
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2003 11:54:46 -0600

"Daniel Parker" <dmparker.dmparker.com> wrote:
> Yes, I have a new office and a new job. I'm doing computer work and diagnostics from the back of a strip club. No really, I swear it. Its called Zebras Cabaret in San Leon, TX. Its a little-bitty pissant country place, its just a dive really, reminiscent of a Tom Waits album cover.

I'm having a little trouble with the idea of that kind of place needing someone to do that kind of work.

> And I don't have high speed out there yet, nor do I really have that much work in, but I do have about four clients and more coming all the time. Really if it weren't for the very cool factor of having hot young naked chicks walking through my office all day and night, it wouldn't be much of a job.

On the other hand, with that kind of work environment, who cares?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Big News
From: Dave Hinz <davehinz.spamcop.net>
Date: 26 Sep 2003 23:47:47 GMT

Daniel Parker <dmparker.dmparker.com> wrote:
> "Dave Hinz" <davehinz.spamcop.net> wrote
>> Hrrm? We're actuall all 12-year old virgin geeks, pretending to be somethong we aren't. Right, guys?
> If that's true, you're the smartest, wittiest, most well educated, and urbane group of 12-year old virgin geeks in the world.

Thank you. Er, I think.

> And let's not forget eruditiest....

Yeah well, same to you. (scrambles for dictionary.com). Oh.

>> How in the world did you ever think to go into a strip club for work?
> The owner decided to put me to work since I wouldn't leave. She's a really caring person, and the club needed a slave.

An entire array of jokes is coming to mind here, but they're all waaaay too obvious.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Big News
From: Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au>
Date: Sat, 27 Sep 2003 22:45:28 +1000

Henriette Kress wrote:
> Dave Hinz wrote:
>> DMP wrote:
>>> ..but I got naked chicks in my office--so HA!
>> I got a talking to years ago about that very thing.
> They do grow into hens, so what's the problem?

If you keep them fed and watered, sure! If they're naked, you may have to keep them in an incubator. Half of them grow up to be cocks, though (if you want layers instead of cocks, you can pay the sexer to take a look at them). If there are too many cocks around, they will just eat, strut around, make a lot of noise, look for sex, and fight with each other.

-- D. "Oh, and DMP, one word: webcam." W.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Big News
From: "Daniel E. Macks" <dmacks.netspace.org>
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2003 17:31:29 -0000

Donald Welsh <dwelsh.nospam.melbpc.org.au> said:
> If you keep them fed and watered, sure! If they're naked, you may have to keep them in an incubator. Half of them grow up to be cocks, though (if you want layers instead of cocks,

IRTA "lawyers", but then I saw that "instead of" clause.

> you can pay the sexer to take a look at them). If there are too many cocks around, they will just eat, strut around, make a lot of noise, look for sex, and fight with each other.

Meh. Could still be talking about lawyers.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies try to screw their clients


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Dead List
From: Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org>
Date: Sat, 27 Sep 2003 00:57:34 -0400

Tom Harrington said:
; George Plimpton (76)
; "George Plimpton, an actor, author and general enthusiast, has died at

WTF is a "general enthusiast"?

From: Rick Dickinson <rtd.notesguy.com>
Someone who gets a major kick out of privates?
Just don't cross the services....
- Rick "Seamen" Dickinson

From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Someone who is enthusiastic about everything, I guess.
"Today, I'm going to have my breakfast cereal with *milk*! All right!"

From: Chris Wesling <wesling.nospam.invalid>
Someone who collects generals. "I'll trade Pershing and Grant for your Douglas MacArthur..."


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Goldmember, indeed...
From: Chris Wesling <wesling.nospam.invalid>
Date: Sat, 27 Sep 2003 23:52:18 -0700

Dotty wrote:
> Tom Harrington wrote :
> > Urban superhero who dresses up in tights to cut boots off of cars in London, and who has a web site with naked pictures of him and his, um, tool:
> > http://www.anglegrinderman.com
> sigh...
> Anglegrinderman........ MY HERO....
> Swoon....... ker thump...

<voice=Narrator>
But nobody knew that Angle Grinder Man was actually humble, lovable Shoeshine Boy.
</voice>


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Goldmember, indeed...
From: st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
Date: Sun, 28 Sep 2003 17:53:31 +1000

'Tom Harrington' wrote:
>Urban superhero who dresses up in tights to cut boots off of cars in London, and who has a web site with naked pictures of him and his, um, tool:

I highly doubt that he'd cut boots off cars in London.

That'd be like cutting trunks off cars in New York.

And what would the poor man do about hatchbacks and station wagons?


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Goldmember, indeed...
From: Kegs <me.privacy.net>
Date: 28 Sep 2003 21:30:26 +0100

Tom Harrington <tph.pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> writes:
> st.ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
> > I highly doubt that he'd cut boots off cars in London.
> > That'd be like cutting trunks off cars in New York.
> OK, so in London, what do they call those things that the police put on car wheels to immobilize the vehicle? Over here I've always heard them called "boots".

Clamps, boots are what you put your victim's body in[1].

[1] Or is that just me?

From: "Daniel Parker" <dmparker.dmparker.com>
That's just you, I put my victims in clamps while I'm in boots


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Word Association Game
From: dmparker.dmparker.com (one_pierce_one)
Date: 30 Sep 2003 08:58:49 -0700

analingus

From: Jeffrey Kaplan <rhod.gordol.org>
Talking out of your ass again, I see.

From: Al Sharka <asharka.my-deja.com>
<jedi hand wave>
This is not the tongue you are looking for. Move along.
</wave>

From: David Corbett <dcorbett42.yahoo.co.nz>
He's just being tongue-in-cheek.



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