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Oracular Real All-Time Top 100

i.e., excluding all oracularities with less than 15 votes; should've been 20 votes but that'd have excluded the Tibetan Monk question, and that won't do. -ed.

Digests #100 - #1250 (earlier digests did not receive votes)
Total Oracularities = many many

This file is based on the Oracular All-Time Top 100, which is the work of Richard "Molerat" Wilson. Except that I edited that one just a tad, of course. This one? It's edited rather more. -Hetta.

Last updated 22Mar02.


1-10. Digest, Number [Votes : Distribution : Score]


SCORE 4.6

1. Digest #365, Question 10[26 : 0-0-2-6-18 : 4.615]

> Oh great Oracle whos keyboard never has crumbs,
> Will the USA ever go metric?
} Ladies and gentlemen, we are here today to determine the United States
} measurement challenge once and for all.

2. Digest #353, Question 3[21 : 0-0-1-7-13 : 4.571]

> O mighty Oracle, endowed with the wisdom of the Universe and one
> _really_ nasty babe for a main squeeze,
} The great and mighty Oracle has deigned to give you an answer to this
} question. You should offer thanks.

3. Digest #135, Question 8[16 : 0-0-2-3-11 : 4.563]

> Oh mighty and masterful all-knowing one, tell me this
> Is there magic, and if so, what does it mean for all those people who
} Of course there is magic. There is magic in a warm summer's day. There
} is magic in a child's smile. Enjoy the magic that is all around you

SCORE 4.5

4. Digest #460, Question 5[36 : 1-0-2-11-22 : 4.472]

> Oh might and great Oracle who can find pleasurable uses even for an IBM
> PC (old 4.77 mhz version) who's zit juice (where you to have zits that
} In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. And the
} earth was without form and void, and darkness was on the face of the

5. Digest #293, Question 3[17 : 0-0-3-3-11 : 4.471]

> What did the Tibetian monk say to the hot dog vendor?
} The most famous exchange between a lama and a hot dog vendor occurred
} one block south of Times Square in July 1988.

SCORE 4.4

6. Digest #229, Question 10[15 : 0-0-3-3-9 : 4.400]

> Does smoking cause brain damage?
} The imperious, impervious, and impecunious Oracle will provide you with
} multiple answers to your question, at no extra charge.

7. Digest #338, Question 4[15 : 0-0-3-3-9 : 4.400]

> Oh, All-Knowing, Master of all which is Oracular, Please tell me
> How much work would a network work if a network could network?
} "Come with me, my child. Give me your hand."

SCORE 4.3

8. Digest #270, Question 10[15 : 0-1-2-3-9 : 4.333]

> Ohh great and manly/femmine (depending on the incarnation)
> Oracle, what is that she thinks of me, this firm
} > What is that she thinks of me, this firm blonde woman I love so
} > dearly ?

9. Digest #415, Question 4[39 : 2-0-2-14-21 : 4.333]

> ...calling International rescue... calling International Rescue... come
> in please... we are stranded on the Internet and out terminal is
} Great Scott! It's the bitalarm, and someone's in trouble! I've got to
} duck out of this charity ball as quietly as possible and get to the

10. Digest #1075, Question 10 [78 : 4-4-7-11-52 : 4.321]

> So, Orrie, what are your plans for February 2nd?
} Pretty much the same as usual. Here's my schedule for the day, if you
} must know:


11-20. Digest, Number [Votes : Distribution : Score]


11. Digest #441, Question 7[44 : 0-3-3-15-23 : 4.318]

> Oh omnipotent oracle! If there were a single
> molecule from a forgotten oraclelean 10,000-year-old
} Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be
} able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand

12. Digest #392, Question 10[29 : 0-2-2-10-15 : 4.310]

> help i'm a bug
} <poof> you're a feature!

13. Digest #771, Question 4[84 : 1-4-8-26-45 : 4.309]

> win95
} lose$95

14. Digest #840, Question 5[109 : 5-4-11-24-65 4.284]

> programs/spam/questionspam> qspam
} <deep breath in>
} Colonel Mustard. First degree murder. In the billiards room.

15. Digest #602, Question 8[57 : 1-2-9-13-32 : 4.281]

> Oh Oracle. I do not feel lke myself today. What on earth should I do?
} Buy a piece of fossilized Pleistocene mammoth dung, then take it
} to to your local veterinarian's and tell the vet in a high state

16. Digest #1135, Question 10 [67 : 3-3-6-16-39 : 4.269]

> Oracle, I have selected the finest fruits from my cherimoya orchard and
> now set them before you as a tribute. Oracle, your Just Wisdom is known
} As far as I'm aware, all of them do. Being omnipotent doesn't mean
} you've got time to do everything at once, you know, so they tend to

17. Digest #140, Question 5[15 : 0-0-3-5-7 : 4.267]

> In the 70s there were several crossover comics between Marvel and DC.
> In a typical weenie move, they decided to pit Superman against Spiderman
} Oh, puh-leeze! I have knowledge spanning the infinite breath of the
} cosmos itself! I know all! I see all! I know all the great mysteries

18. Digest #238, Question 10[15 : 2-0-1-1-11 : 4.267]

> O semipotent, sometimes funny, usually boring and tedious Oracle,
> I have a question that is probably beyond your vastly limited
} No! You're not doing it! You're not actually telling me that I'm not
} funny! Great, now I've had it. Oh no, they've broken through the

19. Digest #516, Question 5[42 : 0-1-7-14-20 : 4.262]

> what is it?
} Well, the obvious answer is that "it" is a pronoun (more specifically,
} a neuter pronoun of the third person singular). But since you've gone

20. Digest #407, Question 1[27 : 0-3-1-9-14 : 4.259]

> Who are Connie and Dan?
} I was so surprised I dropped my cigar into my scotch. Waste of good
} scotch. It was a lousy cigar.


21-30. Digest, Number [Votes : Distribution : Score]


21. Digest #742, Question 7[103 : 1-4-17-27-54 : 4.252]

> Dear Oracle, so often misunderstood, tell me
> why is drinking beer so much more fun than drinking water?
} Hmmm... this will take a little research.

SCORE 4.2

22. Digest #104, Question 9[20 : 0-2-1-7-10 : 4.250]

> Shit! Someone left a bomb here... Have about 3 minutes left... There
> are three wires running from the clock -- a red one, a green one, and a
} From: birnbaum@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu (Erma J. Birnbaum)
} Subject: The Oracle is responding to another question

23. Digest #116, Question 2[16 : 0-0-3-6-7 : 4.250]

> My wife and I came home from a relaxing vacation and found the house in
> a shambles. The young woman who we hired to house-sit for us met us at
} Only the best damn party this Oracle has EVER been to, and that takes
} into account the last three millennium ! I mean things got frisky,

24. Digest #1240, Question 3[52 : 1-0-9-17-25 : 4.250]

> what is sex?
} Sex is what happens when a man and a woman...hmm, no, that's not
} quite it. Sex is what happens when two (or more) people get together

25. Digest #141, Question 9[16 : 0-1-1-7-7 : 4.250]

> O Wonderful Wise Worthy Wizard of Wit and Worldliness Sir Oracle....I
> heard a nasty, nasty, nasty rumour the other day. There's this person
} Congratulations! I, the awesome Oracle, have been writing an AI program
} designed to parse, translate, and answer all questions sent to me so I

26. Digest #705, Question 9[76 : 1-6-7-22-40 : 4.237]

> Oh most wise and powerful Oracle, who often has lunch with Yahweh in
> order to laugh at him when the old dribble glass trick works:
} Hmmm.... a most worthy question.
} I think I need to simulate this on one of my computer…

27. Digest #834, Question 10[148 : 6-7-17-34-84 : 4.236]

> Tell me, oh wise, magnificent, splendid, too-cool-for-words,
> always-in-thright-place-at-the-right-time Oracle:
} WORF: Captain, there are three Romulan warships uncloaking dead ahead.

28. Digest #434, Question 5[30 : 0-2-5-7-16 : 4.233]

> notion in the Quayle-Conrad paper, compatibility of graphs. Please see
> my paper for the definition.
} What, indeed. Whoever left this scrap of a clue was gone before I
} could say `<ZOT>'. The note itself was forboding. The reference to

29. Digest #1230, Question 10 [76: 0-2-13-27-34 : 4.224]

> My desire to learn leads me time and time again to your door Wise
> Oracle, you are the post graduate school of the Internet,
}    ___________________                _______________________
}    |     WARNING!    |                |  ALL EMPLOYEES MUST |

30. Digest #275, Question 6[15 : 0-0-2-8-5 : 4.200]

> WHY ISN'T THE EARTH FLAT?
} Unfortunately the usual answer lies in physics. A rotating disk the
} size of the Earth is not gravitationally stable. The result would be


31-40. Digest, Number [Votes : Distribution : Score]


31. Digest #404, Question 7[30 : 0-3-5-5-17 : 4.200]

> Oh, most supercilious Oracle, whose mere presence on our fair planet
> makes the sun come up in the morning and set in the evening, instead
} Finally, a querent with Buddha-nature.

32. Digest #638, Question 8[101 : 6-2-15-21-57 : 4.198]

> Oracle,
> Since you are at a .edu address, I assume that you had a spring
} AVISO: !El prisionero T. Usenet Oracle no se permite recibir
} correo electronico! Usted puede escribirlo a la dirrecion:

33. Digest #624, Question 10[71 : 4-3-7-18-39 : 4.197]

> Are there any good card games one can play with business cards? Or,
> more specifically, are there any solitaire games one can play with
} My forthcoming THE USENET ORACLE'S BIG BOOK OF BUSINESS CARD GAMES
} contains many more multiplayer than solitaire games. Of course

34. Digest #439, Question 8[31 : 0-1-8-6-16 : 4.194]

> O! Oracle,MostGreat Wisest OfThe Wise AndThe Entity That
> The GoddessesOfThe Sexiest Bodys Drool Upon Please Tell Me!
} OracleReplyNumberTenKazillionAndThree,InResponseToAboveQuestion.
} O! Querent,WhoHasTo OwnOne OfThe Nicest Screen EditorsThat

35. Digest #493, Question 10[37 : 0-2-7-10-18 : 4.189]

> [Scene: the bridge of the starship _Enterprise_]
} Oracle: Corbomite? Feh. The Oracle is all-seeing, and It knows that
} there is no such thing as corbomite.

36. Digest #500, Question 10[43 : 2-3-4-10-24 : 4.186]

> ** TIME PARADOX TURBO E-MAIL **
} Egads. There's only one thing to do: clone a Schwarzenegger simulacrum
} and teleport my consciousness into it. With Arnold's brawn and my

37. Digest #1121, Question 5[71 : 2-3-9-23-34 : 4.183]

> This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
} By dawn the storm had broken. Several of the horses had broken free in
} the early hours, and some time was lost rounding them up. By the time

38. Digest #783, Question 10[95 : 0-2-19-34-40 : 4.179]

> Oh wise and wonderful oracle tell me:
> Does it snow in Australia?
} A comparison between the rest of the world and Australia:

39. Digest #108, Question 8[17 : 0-1-3-5-8 : 4.176]

> Will you marry me?
} Of course the Oracle will marry you. The Oracle marries anyone who asks
} politely, has purity of spirit, and offers sufficient quantities of

40. Digest #355, Question 9[26 : 0-0-7-8-11 : 4.154]

> Oh scrutable Oracle, without whom space would be incomprehensible,
> without whom time would be drab, do tell me this. Does one dry cup of
} Ahh, yes -- the perennial question of rice. You are indeed priveleged,
} for the Oracle has decided to put a stop to such questions by imparting


41-50. Digest, Number [Votes : Distribution : Score]


41. Digest #1088, Question 9[80 : 7-2-5-24-42 : 4.150]

>
} Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
} Over many an illiterate tellme, as my mailbox overran --

42. Digest #499, Question 4[40 : 1-3-8-5-23 : 4.150]

> Okay Orrie,
> This planet isn't big enough for the two of us. I'll meet you in front
} The sence is Delphi. The cheering crowds are composed of Vikings
} warriors armed with battle axs, spears, broadswords, daggers, maces,

SCORE 4.1

43. Digest #491, Question 9[41 : 1-5-2-12-21 : 4.146]

> The news cameras and reporters had already gathered at the scene.
> "Vultures," Mulhooey thought as he pushed his way through the crowd.
} Mulhooey grabbed the scrap of yellow memo paper that Evans was holding
} out to him. There was nothing on it but the number "42" written with

44. Digest #1023, Question 7[87 : 0-5-17-26-39 : 4.138]

> Oh most adventurous Oracle, who knows all the spells and secret
> passages…
} > KILL MOTHER-IN-LAW

45. Digest #455, Question 5[29 : 1-0-4-13-11 : 4.138]

> O almighty Oracle type guy, who et cetera et cetera et cetera, I'm
> going to flunk my 20th Century History test unless you help me.
} Nice try, Mr. XXXX XXXXXX (xxxxx@yyyy.zzzz.GOV) [name deleted to
} protect identity -- ed], but I'm not giving you the winning team or any

46. Digest #992, Question 1[102 : 9-8-5-18-62 : 4.137]

> SUPPLICANT:
> I am the very model of a grovelling unfortunate,
} TRIO--ORACLE, LISA, and SUPPLICANT

47. Digest #310, Question 10[15 : 1-0-1-7-6 : 4.133]

> Oh great and powerful Oracle, please grep your vast stores of knowledge
> and answer my query:
} First you need to understand a little Latin. There is suffix form
} that uses -gina for the feminine and -x for the masculine. The

48. Digest #412, Question 10[30 : 0-2-3-14-11 : 4.133]

> To: Mr Oracle
> From: Agent Smythe
} From the Office of the Coroner. *** CONFIDENTIAL ***
} Report on suspected homicide # 92-02-7344

49. Digest #394, Question 9[31 : 2-1-2-12-14 : 4.129]

> Oh really swell Oracle, could you
> please tell me
} Oh no, not another one of *those* ... These letters always bring out the –
} ** RRRRIIIIIP **

50. Digest #805, Question 6[102 : 5-5-15-24-53 : 4.127]

> Oh wonderful and wise Oracle tell me how would one implement a version
> of Windows TP ...... windows for telepaths ?
} You open the box labeled "Windows TP", carefully extracting the pouch
} labeled "License Agreement". You examine the contents of the pouch,


51-60. Digest, Number [Votes : Distribution : Score]


51. Digest #519, Question 4[40 : 2-4-5-5-24 : 4.125]

> Sheesh - that wasn't nice of you!
} Scene: The Oracle's luxurious penthouse apartment, high above the
} city. In the darkened living room, Lisa and the Oracle sit on the

52. Digest #339, Question 6[17 : 0-0-4-7-6 : 4.118]

> Why don't they name planes more interesting things than F1 or 747?
> If they called the B2 the Batplane would Congress be more likely to
} Well, well, well. I see that you are using your ignorance as a shield
} against the sword of good judgement. Perhaps a vice-presidency is in

53. Digest #683, Question 8[93 : 4-8-10-22-49 : 4.118]

> Do you have a hard drive?
} I was hanging out in a SCSI bar. A loud bandwidth played in the
} corner.

54. Digest #775, Question 9[89 : 3-2-18-25-41 : 4.112]

> A friend of mine wrote this as his signature:
} Ah -- you've stumbled on the Geek Code. This is a carefully constructed
} code some people put in their signatures to assure the world that, yes,

55. Digest #130, Question 8[19 : 2-0-3-3-11 : 4.105]

> O most omniscient Oracle, whose aura of mystification encompasses the
> entire galaxy, please ponder for me this question:
} Razor blades? Gee, I dunno. Hang on a second ...

56. Digest #139, Question 10[19 : 0-1-5-4-9 : 4.105]

> Hello Oracle.
> HELLO!!!!!
} <Splish> <Splosh> Hello! I hate it when that happens. I nearly kill
} myself getting out of the shower, track water all over the place, and

57. Digest #885, Question 8[114 : 2-9-19-29-55 : 4.105]

> To: Internet Oracle
> From: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
} To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
} From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys.

58. Digest #378, Question 1[20 : 0-1-3-9-7 : 4.100]

> (cross-posted to rec.guns)
> What is the season, out-of-state license fee, and bag limit on ex-wives
} First, you have to say the magic words.

59. Digest #378, Question 8[20 : 1-2-0-8-9 : 4.100]

> Oh wise and noble oracle, king of heaven and earth,
> Have you ever been compared to the OUija board???
} No, but indeed I used to DABBLE in them.

60. Digest #747, Question 10[71 : 2-2-18-14-35 : 4.099]

> alt.usenet.oracle.omnicient.beneficent.merciful
> alt.profuse.grovel.praise.flatter.compliment
} talk.problem.simple
} news.groups.alt.too.many.reading


61-70. Digest, Number [Votes : Distribution : Score]


61. Digest #1115, Question 9[70 : 2-6-7-26-30 : 4.086]

> ORACLE WHO"S HUMP HOLDSMORE WATER THAN A CAMEL HAS BODY WEIGHT SO IF YOU
> WANTED TO NEVER TAKE A DRINK AGAIN YOU WOULD NOT HAVE TO.
} Wow, that's some grovelling technique you got there, kid! Let's see you
} do some more

62. Digest #374, Question 3[25 : 0-1-6-8-10 : 4.080]

> Dear Miss Oracle, who owns all the particles in the world,
> Last week my cat returned home with a new tail.
} Oh dear, you have got problems. It seems you are at the center of
} localized Reality Breakdown. Let's take this one step at a time.

63. Digest #481, Question 10[38 : 0-3-7-12-16 : 4.079]

> You're a much better poet than Frost,
> And your teeth are so perfectly flossed.
} There once was a man named Einstein
} who asked me just how did light shine

64. Digest #485, Question 2[38 : 2-2-5-11-18 : 4.079]

> --
} Somewhere in the North Atlantic. Aboard the USS Dallas

65. Digest #976, Question 2[84 : 2-10-10-20-42 : 4.071]

> Hey Oracleman, riddle me this!
} "Holy Hofstadter, Oracleman! That's going to be one wicked
} polynominal!" exclaimed Lisa.

66. Digest #549, Question 9[58 : 2-1-10-23-22 : 4.069]

> What is a feasibility-study?
} Personal Log, Stardate 2213.4. The Enterprise, commanded by myself,
} James T. Kirk, has been dispatched to the neutral zone to intercept an

67. Digest #125, Question 7[15 : 1-1-2-3-8 : 4.067]

> How can I persuade the Pope to come worship Athene and Demeter with us?
} Well, this could be a little hard....oh hell, why not...wait a sec...
} oraclevax %> rlogin pearlygates.heaven.com

68. Digest #138, Question 5[15 : 0-1-3-5-6 : 4.067]

> Where do we go from here?
} Where do we go from here? Where?
} I'll tell ya where!

69. Digest #326, Question 8[15 : 0-2-2-4-7 : 4.067]

> Is subliminal sexual advertising a good idea?
} In spite
} of the seeming

70. Digest #1128, Question 10 [66 : 1-1-13-27-24 : 4.091]

> Oh super-nifty Oracle, who would never castrate his supplicants in the
> hope of passing them off as aliens...
} Simple! Just print and fill out the following form, and mail it along
} with a check for $199.95 (plus additional charges, see below) to:


71-80. Digest, Number [Votes : Distribution : Score]


71. Digest #431, Question 5[34 : 0-2-8-10-14 : 4.059]

> Shut up and deal!
} Did somebody say DEAL???

72. Digest #475, Question 10[34 : 0-1-7-15-11 : 4.059]

> Mighty Oracle, Fountain of All Knowledge,
> When you designed Relativity, were you joking
} Boy, that was a stupid one, huh?

73. Digest #1228, Question 2[70 : 4-5-8-19-34 : 4.057]

> So, when's digest 1227 coming out?
} About two weeks before #1228.
} After that the digest start coming out even more irregularly until

74. Digest #297, Question 8[18 : 0-1-3-8-6 : 4.056]

> Oracle of wonders,
> I want to marry my girlfriend Cathy. What does our future look
} Your future looks bleak, oh young hormone-infested mortal. Your
} inability to communicate in complete sentences will be nothing but

SCORE 4.0

75. Digest #370, Question 9[20 : 0-1-5-6-8 : 4.050]

> Oh great Oracle, whose Nielson ratings were higher even than those of
> Bill Cosby, please answer this humble question:
} Hmmm... the Oracle must take a moment to review the latest
} Grovelling Manual before processing your request.

76. Digest #465, Question 5[21 : 1-2-2-6-10 : 4.048]

> Why can't I get my soft disk drive to work?
} [The scene: Usenet University, Department of Oracularities. Class in
} session is Apprenticeship 102, T. Usenet Oracle, Professor.]

77. Digest #771, Question 6[84 : 3-5-14-25-37 : 4.048]

> Oh masterful Oracle, knower of all that is to be known, I have a
> question to ask which may very well affect my future and my
} ...To what? Tap-dance? Refinish a table? Make a contribution
} to the Republican Party? You must be specific. Give examples. Show

78. Digest #105, Question 5[22 : 0-2-3-9-8 : 4.045]

> Oh Oracle most wise and omnipotent, answer me this:
> If I ask a question, and you demand a payment, what is the mailing
} Well, now thanks to the miracles of modern technology, more specifically
} automated teller machines....you can make your payment to the Oracle at

79. Digest #866, Question 8[132 : 4-7-22-45-54 : 4.045]

> tell me
} Ok, if you really want to know...
} Darth Vader is Luke's father. The woman in the "Crying Game" is

80. Digest #1056, Question 10 [69 : 4-3-10-21-31 : 4.043]

> Oracle Most Wise;
> What are the different fates in the afterlife that await those whose
} There are exactly nine different planes of existence that await all
} Oracularized mortals. Where you end up depends on your alignment


81-90. Digest, Number [Votes : Distribution : Score]


81. Digest #927, Question 3[94 : 2-5-18-31-38 : 4.043]

> Oracle most wise and wonderful,
> I am at a career crossroads; should I become an astronaut, a
} This is the kind of question that these "handy comparison charts" were
} just made to answer:

82. Digest #733, Question 2[121 : 9-9-12-29-62 : 4.041]

> O great Oracle, the one who sees all and knows all, please accept
> this humble question from thy grovelling supplicant...
} THE SCENE: A dark antechamber of the Gates estate, dimly lit by three
} 20" monitors suspended from the ceiling. In the middle of the room is

83. Digest #368, Question 1[30 : 0-4-4-9-13 : 4.033]

> Oh Oracle, whose keyboard never sticks, whose monitor never makes
> strange whistling noises, whose hard disks never crash, whose modem
} The Oracle remembers a day, six days and 23 hours after the creation of
} the Universe, when God was feeling bored ....

84. Digest #368, Question 3[30 : 2-1-5-8-14 : 4.033]

> O Oracle, greatest of the great, wisest of the wise, who knows how many
> seas a white dove must sail before she sleeps in the sand, I beseech
} There's a few ways I could answer your question, depending:
} 1) Well, what do you call the Democratic Party?

85. Digest #1089, Question 3[69 : 3-4-8-27-27 : 4.029]

> Heya, omniscient-type dude.
> I've been chatting with your various incarnations, and yeah –it's fun. But
} What's this? You want a serious answer to your question "How can I make
} sure I don't get a serious answer"? Are you trying to trap the Oracle,

86. Digest #641, Question 9[94 : 2-8-19-22-43 : 4.021]

> Once upon a midnight dreary, while my eyes were blank and bleary,
> From incessant peering, leering, staring at my terminal,--
} Supplicant, you are so evil - even borderline medieval,
} When claiming to be so ill, you dare tempt The Oracle.

87. Digest #598, Question 8 [56 : 4-4-9-25-18 : 4.018]

> Oh great one
> Does writing to you mean that I've become a computer Geek?
} Not in and of itself, no. Here, take this handy test:
} 1) I have moss growing

88. Digest #924, Question 4[106 : 3-9-21-24-49 : 4.009]

> Why bill Gatel is gay ?
} I beg your pardon? This doesn't sound quite right. Things must have
} gotten mixed up in transmission--unreliable protocol, you know. Let's

89. Digest #109, Question 7[17 : 0-3-3-2-9 : 4.000]

> iufd iuf diuhf iufhiudshfikfh iufi hiufhdw fkjdshf kjs hflkf hlqk
> ] dfkjhd kfjldsf hlkhf kldjf hdlk hdkd hflkjd hkjfh kj hfkdshf kj
} That question isn't written in one of the languages that I know. But
} I'll soon get it translated.

90. Digest #113, Question 7[16 : 0-2-3-4-7 : 4.000]

> Is it possible for a human to have oral sex with a swan?
} Wait, I'll check.
} [ Listening, you hear nothing. Then


91-100. Digest, Number [Votes : Distribution : Score]


91. Digest #126, Question 5[17 : 0-0-6-5-6 : 4.000]

> I made some cookies the other day. They were chocolate chip. When I
> put them in the oven, the chips leaped out of the cookies, jumped onto
} Hmm. Mutineering chocolate.
} Obviously they were trying to jump chip.

92. Digest #141, Question 7[16 : 1-0-4-4-7 : 4.000]

> All right, Oracle, tell me some good ways to mess up the phone company.
} mmmmmm. Oh, yeah...that's it. Yes right there. Oh yes yes Yes YES
} What? Where? Oh, DAMN! No, I have to take it now –it says so in my

93. Digest #158, Question 1[16 : 0-3-2-3-8 : 4.000]

> Okay, now, this is completely hypothetical of course, but you know how
> on those audience-participation talk shows, like Donahue and Geraldo,
} > KICK TALK-SHOW HOST.

94. Digest #229, Question 1[15 : 0-1-3-6-5 : 4.000]

> Can I be Lisa for just a day? Please, pretty please?
} Certainly. *poof* OK, now you're Lisa. My goodness, what large ...
} Never mind; you've got a busy day ahead of you:

95. Digest #236, Question 8[19 : 1-1-4-4-9 : 4.000]

> Oh Magnificent Oracle, whose wisdom teeth impact the whole world with
> dental agony,
} Comparison of Dental Checkup Techniques: A Field Study by the Oracle,
} MD, DDS, PHD, MS, BS, CPA, and a BMF besides.

96. Digest #248, Question 4[19 : 0-0-5-9-5 : 4.000]

> I heard aphids are born pregnant. Is this true?
} Yes indeed. This is one of the many wonderous but little publicized
} facts about the Animal Kingdom. Some others are:

97. Digest #288, Question 2[15 : 0-2-2-5-6 : 4.000]

> Oh magnificent Oracle, who can travel through the Bourne shell, the C
> shell, the Korn shell, the Bourne Again shell and the Poor Man's shell
} CHORUS: Flintstones, meet the Flintstones!
} They're the modern stone-age family!

98. Digest #290, Question 9[20 : 0-1-6-5-8 : 4.000]

> Oh wisest of the wise oracle, please explain to me,
> Why is it that everytime a female describes her relationship
} They mean that, like Pu-225, your relationship had a half-life
} of 26 minutes.

99. Digest #372, Question 3[26 : 0-0-9-8-9 : 4.000]

> If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true?
} Oracle Form #3534992
} This is perhaps the [ ] largest duck that the oracle has ever

100. Digest #444, Question 5[41 : 3-4-3-11-20 : 4.000]

> Oracle, dear, I'm in your apartment. It's raining outside,
> I'm bored and I want to go shopping. However, you
} The scene: two old men sheltering from the pouring rain in a
} bus-shelter.

101. Digest #455, Question 3[29 : 0-0-10-9-10 : 4.000]

> Do you like green eggs and ham?
} I do not like them, Sam I am,
} I much prefer pink peas and Spam!

102. Digest #813, Question 4[122 : 3-6-26-40-47 : 4.000]

> Tell me, oh wise and groovy Oracle, who knows all sorts of neat stuff,
> If you're the Oracle who knows all, is there also an Opticle who sees
} Yes, in fact there's a whole tribe of us. No wonder Mt. Olympus feels
} a little crowded at times..

103. Digest #984, Question 2[96 : 1-7-20-31-37 : 4.000]

> I know what you're asking yourself. You're asking yourself, did he send
> four hundred emails, or only one? Well, keeping in mind this is email
} As he rounded the dry clapboard building at the end of the dusty
} street, the man known only as The Oracle paused. It was quiet. Too

104. Digest #1221, Question 8[62 : 1-4-13-20-24 : 4.000]

> Your turn.
} Orrie:
} X | . |



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